Kayla

Cayson scared the shit out of me. When I felt a hand go over my mouth and nose, I immediately knew I was in trouble. How the hell someone got in this house, I wasn’t sure. All I could do was pray that I’d still be alive tomorrow. Hell, they could take everything in the house; I’d gladly offer to help them load up their vehicle with the most expensive items I could find if that meant I would live another day. Seeing Cayson was the last face I expected to see. Relief filled me when I saw his blue eyes lustfully looking at me, but I pushed that aside and let anger take over. Who does he think he is sneaking in here and scaring the shit out of me?

Standing in front of the mirror, I look at myself, not recognizing the face staring back at me. Mixed emotions wrestle between my brain and my core. The sexy vixen I didn’t know existed deep inside me suggests that I storm out towel-clad to find Cayson, stand before him, and drop my towel to expose my hardened nipples and pulsing sex, and let him ravage me. But it isn’t long before my brain stomps all over the advice my inner core is giving me, so I dress in a pair of yoga pants and a T-shirt before I go in search of Cayson.

I find him sitting on the sofa by the fireplace, holding my book in his hands and staring at what I’ve written to him. When I clear my throat, Cayson quickly shuts the book and places it on the table in front of him.

“Why, Kayla?” he asks, his voice laced with something that sounds like sadness.

“Why what, Cayson?”

“Why end the book the way you did? Why not give Richie and Lara a happy ending?”

I don’t know how to answer the question. I’ve written and re-written the ending so many times until, in the end, I knew there could be no happily ever after. “Because you showed me that life can be ugly and messy, Cayson, that’s why.”

Yeah, Cayson Razor has shown me that life and love can be ugly. That no matter how much I wanted a happily ever after for the characters and myself, it just wasn’t possible.

“Look, Cayson, that last day with you was amazing. I felt connected to you like I’ve never felt with anyone, but it also obliterated my heart.”

Cayson takes several steps toward me but then stops when my body goes taut with apprehension.

“I was embarrassed when everyone came back to the bus, and yes, I didn’t want them to know that I was so foolish to sleep with you, but I never expected to experience the intense loneliness I felt the minute you walked out the door.”

I watch as Cayson’s Adam's apple lifts and drops in his throat before he hangs his head. Tears well in my eyes and begin to drop down my face as I continue.

“I cried so hard in the Uber that the driver pulled over just to make sure I was alright when I wouldn’t respond to his questions. I couldn’t stop crying, no matter how hard I tried. It wasn’t until I was standing in the check-in line at the airport and I saw all the people waiting in line whispering about me that I snapped back to reality.”

Cayson’s head snaps up and his eyes lock with mine. There are devastation and hollowness is the blue pools that look back at me. I can’t let that stop me from finishing what I have to say.

“I could hear your voice in my head saying ‘This is the real world, Kayla. Not everything is as happy as you write about in your romance novels.’ You were right; not everything would ever be alright again.”

Three steps, that’s all it takes before Cayson is on me. His mouth covering mine, his lips pressing down forcibly, begging for me to kiss him back. I feel my resolve give way as his hands clamp down on the sides of my head, his fingers tangling in my hair. My lips part, granting him access to my tongue, and the kiss grows desperate. Moans reverberate through the room until Cayson pulls away to look in my eyes.

His thumbs brush the tears from under my eyes as he speaks. “I’m so sorry, Kayla. I never meant to hurt you that way. I never stopped to think that you would believe my leaving you alone meant I didn’t care for you.”

His eyes search mine, for what I don’t know. When it appears he doesn’t see what he’s looking for, he continues, “When I got back to the bus and found you were gone, it killed me. Then I found your notepad with your story in it, and all that did was leave me more confused. I could tell the story was about us, but it just stopped, and I had no idea what to do.”

“Why, Cayson? Why didn’t you call me, text me, anything to let me know that I wasn’t just another piece you conquered?”

“PRIDE.” One word is all Cayson says. Just hearing him say that word pisses me off. I can’t stand to have his hands on me any longer, so I push them away and turn so I’m not facing him anymore. I need to calm down and collect my thoughts before I say something stupid. My heart is obliterated because of his pride, and now here he stands before me asking for forgiveness.

“Your pride, Cayson?” I yelled as I turn to face him once more. “Not once did you even think to yourself that maybe, just maybe, you would want to find out why I left without saying anything to anyone?” I push my fingers into his chest with extra force. “Decency. Do you even know what that word means?” I poke him two more times. “The decent thing would have been to reach out and make sure I was alright. But NO, I never heard from you, and now you’re here for what? Forgiveness?”

This time, I push him with all my might, but it doesn’t move him. Cayson’s hands quickly grasp my wrists and pull them tight to his chest.

“You’re right, Kayla, about everything. I should have called or at least texted, but I didn’t, and by the time I grew a pair and realized that the best thing to ever happen to me had walked out of my life, I was scared.”

Cayson lowers his forehead to mine. “I was too afraid that you would tell me to go to hell. I’ve never felt for someone the way I feel for you. The only thing I could think of was that as long as I didn’t give you a chance to tell me to go to hell, I’d still have a chance to make it right someday. Please tell me I haven’t lost that chance.”

His breath is hot on my face, his lips just millimeters away from mine, but I can’t give him the answer he needs. “I don’t know if you can ever make it right, Cayson.”

His lips brush against mine tenderly. “Please, just give me a chance, Kayla. Give me a couple of days here with you just to show you that I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make this right. To make you mine.”

I can’t speak the words without my voice betraying how I really feel about his confession, so I just nod a timid yes in response.