We ride in silence back the way we came. My body is still tingling all over. I can’t get over what I let him do to me in the orchard. I kept telling myself I didn’t have a choice, that I was his captive and he could do with me as he wanted. But even I know that wasn’t true. If I had said stop, then I know it would have ended. It’s messing with my mind how much the idea of being under his control is turning me on. The fantasy became real as he got down on his knees and took from me what I’d never given to someone else. Now it belongs only to him. I have a feeling he intends to make sure that it stays that way.

I lick my lips, tasting the kiss he gave me after he made me orgasm. I peek over at him, and of course he’s staring at me. He’s got a smile on his face. He looks like the cat that ate the canary. I guess I’m the canary in this situation, and the thought of what he did to me makes my face burst into flames. I pull my eyes away from him and focus on the barn. I keep forgetting that I’m his captive and not his lover out on the most romantic date I’ve ever had.

Ryker is so smug. I didn’t tell him to stop, so I’m sure in his mind it’s a small victory. In mine I don’t know what to think about it. I’m chalking it up to Stockholm syndrome. Though I think that takes time to develop. But maybe I’m just a fast learner?

I have no idea what I’m feeling or what I’m even doing. He’d told me to tell him to stop and I didn’t. In fact, if he would’ve stopped I might have begged him not to stop. I’ve never felt the way he makes me feel. Which is utterly crazy, because he’s crazy. At least I'm pretty sure he is. Besides wanting to keep me captive and never letting me go, he seems utterly perfect. Too perfect, to be honest. Didn’t I think Fritz was perfect, too? That didn't turn out so well for me.

I think I tried to believe he was perfect because he was all I knew. What I thought I should want. Now seeing how Ryker is treating me, the lines have become too blurred and I have no idea what’s going on.

Today has been like we’re a normal couple having a first or second date. I reach out and pet Diamond. He said she was mine, but I know that isn’t really true. I don’t belong here. This isn’t my home and this isn’t my life, no matter how much I would love it to be. If things had been different… If I hadn't been with Fritz and Ryker asked me out like a normal guy…

Or if he just waited a little after what happened to me and Fritz. Seeing the two of them on Lilith’s desk changed everything in my mind, made me open my eyes to things I should have seen long ago, but I chalked it up to me not knowing how real functional relationships worked, having only seen my mama’s growing up. All I knew was that I wanted nothing like those.

The thought of before makes me wonder if Roxy is wondering where I am. My roommate was an asshole, but I know he liked my money. Is Fritz even looking for me? What if no one wonders where I am? I’d never thought about it before, but if Fritz thinks we’re over and my roommate doesn’t care that I left, then no one would know if I dropped off the face of the earth. Roxy already said he wanted me to start looking for a new place. For all I know, no one has even reported me missing. Could that really be happening right now?

I know the answer to that question. I could be gone for months before someone actually noticed, and the thought is depressing. Roxy will probably toss all my crap out and get another roommate without a second thought. I’m not sure how long it would take my mama to notice. At least a few months for sure. If she did notice I hadn’t called in a while, I don’t think she’d even know where to begin to look for me. I've had to tell her multiple times where I went to college. I’m guessing nothing else stuck in her alcohol-soaked mind. Hell, the police would probably think she was some loony woman just rambling about a daughter she knows nothing about. Not one single person in my life would care that I vanished.

He’d notice.

I glace back over to Ryker. Why does the thought make my heart flutter? Probably because it feels nice to have someone that would miss me.

“No one is looking for me, are they?”

I finally ask the question that I’ve been afraid to voice. I can’t even really say it out loud. It’s almost a whisper, and I’m feeling all kinds of sorry for myself. How sad is that? I left home to start a new life, and look where I ended up. I’ve got no family to speak of, and not a single friend in the world. What do I have besides a degree I don’t even want?

The only friend I thought I had was Johnny. A flash of him standing behind Ryker the night I ran out of the studio sparks in my mind, but it’s gone before I can grab onto it.

Ryker looks at me, and his eyes soften. I can see the answer there and he doesn’t have to speak it out loud.

“You brought me Bear,” I mutter, breaking eye contact with him as the realization hits me.

He had to have gotten Bear from my apartment. Why hadn’t I even thought about that before? Probably because there were too many other things to think about when I first woke up. I also kept falling under some spell of Ryker’s where I didn’t question things. I’ve been pretending he’s some prince who saved me that night from a horrible boyfriend. If only.

“I cleared out your stuff. I should have done it the day I found you. That fucking roommate.” He says the last part through clenched teeth. It makes the hair on my arms stand up and I can see the jealousy in his eyes.

“It was you, wasn’t it?” I shake my head. “The one who threatened Roxy?” Of course it was. Fritz wouldn’t threaten anyone or get jealous over me. He was so passive when it came to confrontation.

Ryker shrugs, but I can read the tension in his body. He’s pissed just thinking about it.

“I don’t belong to you!” I yell.

His horse comes to a stop, and mine follows suit. I know I’m not yelling at him for putting Roxy in his place. I’m upset and angry because that’s what I wanted Fritz to do. To care that I was living with a man. To get jealous over me and to care about my safety.

Even today I noticed that I carried on talking and talking while Ryker listened. Really listened to me and soaked in everything I said. It wasn’t something I was used to. Normally Fritz did all the talking. I want to like Ryker, but it’s wrong. Besides, he’s hiding something else from me. I can feel it. I already trusted one liar, and I won’t fall for another. I won’t be like my mama. She would take men back who did the most fucked up shit to her, but I’m better than that. It’s why I left that life behind. To make sure I didn’t become like her.

“Yes, you do,” he says calmly. “You’ve been mine from the first moment I saw you. You’ll always be mine.”

I nudge my horse to move, not looking back at Ryker. I can’t bear to right now. I’m falling for this man with the things he says, even though none of this is making sense. I need to keep my distance from him. I’ve got to put up a wall and protect my heart. Because a man like him might just crush it. I know with him I could fall fast and hard. It wouldn’t be forced like it was with Fritz. I know because I already feel myself falling.

“Why couldn’t you have just asked me on a date or something? You could have come after me like a normal guy,” I finally spit out when the silence becomes too much.

I want to understand Ryker, because without the whole crazy kidnapping thing, I like him. Really like him. And I damn well shouldn’t. I’ve never had an attraction to a man this fast before. Not even with Fritz. It had to build that up over time, but with Ryker it’s sudden and overwhelming. Instead of trying to make myself fall for him like I did with Fritz, I’m fighting everything in me that’s pulling me towards him. I’ve been letting myself get lost in these sweet moments he keeps creating. He’s pushing out the reality of what he’s done, and the lines are all pear-shaped.

“I have my reasons,” he says in that lazy, laidback tone he has. He says it like he doesn’t have a care in world and it’s all going according to his plan. You know, like felony kidnapping charges just don’t matter in the state of South Carolina.

“Care to enlighten me?” I challenge.

I don’t feel so timid with him now, and maybe it’s because of what we did in the peach orchard. Or maybe I’m starting to believe that he really won’t hurt me. Something deep inside of me believes it to be true. Even though I should probably question my own judgment when it comes to men. Worse, I feel like I’m allowed to lose it and won’t be scolded as if I’m a child for doing it. He’ll just let me have my fit and be okay with it.

“No.” And the one word is final.

I clench my jaw, getting angry. Fine, if he doesn't want to talk then neither do I.

I ignore him as we make our way into the barn. He helps me off Diamond, which I’m glad for because I’m still not one hundred percent comfortable doing it on my own. But I still maintain silence, pissed off he won’t answer me.

When I slide down the horse, he pulls me into his body. I feel his erection drag across my body and dig into my stomach when I’m on my feet. He groans at the contact, but I pull away. He doesn’t like that at all, because he pulls me back against him.

I open my mouth to say something sassy, but his lips land on mine and I lose my train of thought. The kiss is deep, and I think for a second my feet leave the ground. As he kisses me, and that hard length seems to grow impossibly bigger, I wonder if this time he’s going to get his turn to get off.

My body shudders with excitement at the idea. God, I shouldn't want it, but somehow the thought of him using me goes straight to my core and my thighs clench together in excitement. It’s like he knows these dark thoughts my mind craves. Desires I didn’t even know I had until he awoke them.

His kisses aren’t like anything I’ve ever felt before. I thought I’d been kissed, but I was so wrong. His does it like he’s starved for me, like he can’t get enough. His hands dig into my hair, pulling me even closer to him. I can’t help but moan into his mouth as his tongue makes love to mine.

His chest rumbles, sending a shiver racing though my body. When he pulls his mouth from mine we are both breathing heavily. My nipples are tight, and I can feel exactly how wet my panties are. Need pounds down on me once again like when we were in the peach orchard. How does he do this to me? I feel so out of control, and it’s intoxicating. I can let go and everything falls in his hands. At least this way I can claim I had no choice. There’s no thinking about tomorrow or what comes next. All I have to do is enjoy the moment and not push for the future.

But that’s not how life works. I let go of him, realizing that I’d wrapped my arms around his neck. I take a step back from him and drop my arms. He closes his eyes for a moment before releasing me completely.

I turn around to pet Diamond, mad at myself for kissing him back. I’m supposed to be ignoring him. But just as confusion and frustration take hold, his arm wraps around me and pulls my back to his front. The warmth of him melts me, and damn it, I love the way it feels.

“You can’t ignore me forever,” he whispers in my ear before kissing the place under it sweetly and letting me go.

Challenge accepted.

He starts putting the horses away and I wonder if I should help him. I decide it’s best to stay away from Ryker, because when he’s close I can’t think straight. I wander through the barn, looking around a bit. I peek into some stalls, thinking there might be a phone or something.

I freeze when an older man enters the barn, and all the blood leaves my face. My eyes lock with Johnny’s, and his soften when they meet mine. He slides his hands into his pockets and I shake my head. A humorless laugh leaves me, and I feel tears form.

“No one’s looking for me,” I say to myself, confirming my thoughts from earlier.

I walk past Johnny, unable to look at him, and he calls out my name. I keep walking, even though I have no idea where I’m going. I walk in the direction of the house since it’s my only real option. When a hand slides into mine I know it’s Ryker’s without having to look.

“I will always look for you, Cricket.”

I fight back tears as we get in the Gator and ride back to the house. I’m not sure if I want to cry because I feel like I’m alone, or because I’m not alone anymore, because if I’m honest, Fritz and I were never really a real him and I.

The reality of it all is, before Ryker no one would have cared. It’s clear Fritz didn’t. I still don’t understand what we had. The way Ryker acts with me makes me question it even more. Now my relationship with Fritz feels more like friends who kissed on occasion.

I thought I was in love with Fritz, but the things Ryker made me feel are on a whole new level, and I haven’t even been around him long.

Fritz never kissed me like Ryker did in the orchard. Hell, I’d never kissed him like that either. I was practically crawling up Ryker without even realizing I was doing it.

When we get to the house, Ryker takes my hand and we walk inside. He pulls me towards his office, and I follow along.

“I just need to go in my office for a few minutes. I’ll have some food brought in.”

I only nod as I walk around the room and look at the space. The walls are all lined with bookshelves that hold rows and rows of books. I run my fingers across them absentmindedly, then I start reading the titles.

I glance over my shoulder at Ryker, who’s standing behind his desk watching me. He slides his cell phone into his back pocket and smiles.

“They’re all for you,” he tells me.

I look back at all the romance books. I recognize many of the author names. I haven’t read for pleasure in a long time. When I was younger I devoured books because they were my only escape. I lost that over the years, focusing on other things like school.

I’d stopped checking them out at the library completely when Fritz made an off-hand comment about my choice of books. It reminds me again how much Ryker knows about me.

“What did you do? Hack the school’s library database or something to see what I checked out?” I say absently.

The look he gives me, though, makes me think I hit the nail on the head. I chastise myself for speaking to him. What happened to the silent treatment? For some reason I thought it might drive him crazy, but now I’m wondering if I should go with sweet so he lets his guard down. Then maybe I could sneak away or steal his cell phone and call someone.

A knock at the door sounds as I pull a book off the shelf. The same woman from the night before comes strolling in with a tray in her hands. She sets it down on the coffee table next to me and gives me a bright smile as she stands up.

“You know I’ve been kidnapped, right?” I say, waiting to see how she’ll react.

“That’s lovely. Would you like milk with your tea, sweetheart?” I let out a frustrated noise at her response, before I nod. She adds some milk to my tea and then smiles brightly. “Anything else I can get you?” She looks between Ryker and me.

“A cell phone?” I raise my eyebrows at her, and it only makes her smile even more. Like I just told a little joke.

“That’s all, Lily, thank you,” Ryker says before she turns and leaves.

I roll my eyes and go back to the bookshelves. I pull out a book and read the back, then decide I’ll sink myself into this one. Maybe get lost in the story long enough that I can forget the craziness happening around me.

“You won’t find someone here who isn’t completely loyal to me,” Ryker says, coming around from behind his desk. He leans up against it, watching me. I don’t respond. I carry on with my juvenile game of ignoring him. “They’ll do anything you ask except help you leave me.”

“Money really can buy you anything.” I walk over to the tray and sit down next to it. I pick up one of the little brunch sandwiches and take a bite. I clearly can’t be quiet, I don’t know why I even try.

“Money can buy a lot, but I promise you, loyalty isn’t one of them. At least not true loyalty. That is earned.”

I can’t stop myself from looking over at Ryker, wondering who he really is. How he has such blind loyalty from people. From the few things that he’s told me, I know he’s clearly a driven man who gets what he wants. I thought I was driven, too, but I could never grab what I always wanted. Or when I do get what I thought I wanted, it’s never like I thought it would be.

I polish off one sandwich before taking another and settling in on the sofa with my book. I don’t know how long I stare at the same page, well aware that Ryker is watching me. But that same feeling I got when I was in my apartment comes back, and now I know it was him all those times I thought someone was watching me. Someone was.

I still wonder why he’s so fixated on me. There has to be more to it than something as simple as seeing me and needing to have me. Love at first sight isn’t real. It can’t be. He might have nurtured an attraction to me over time, so I wonder how long he’s been after me.

No matter how many times I go over and over it in my head, it all comes back to the stolen artwork. Maybe it has something to do with that? There are a lot of nice pieces of art here in his house. It’s also obvious Ryker has a lot of money, and people around him who are willing to commit felonies for him.

Maybe Ryker is a thug in a suit? Is a thug as sweet as Ryker is with me? I want to roll my eyes at my own questions. How would I even know that? The only men I know are the drunks my mama dated, and Fritz. All of whom turned out to be total losers.

Ryker lets out a deep sigh. “I’ll let you have your moment, but I’m not going anywhere.”

I peek up him out of the corner of my eye as he goes around his desk and sits back down. Bear comes strolling into the office a moment later and I watch as he walks right past me and jumps onto Ryker’s desk. Ryker reaches out and pets him, and I feel like I was just betrayed. One would think they’re best friends with the way Bear purrs for him. The normal pissy attitude Bear gives new people is nowhere to be seen. Even Bear’s going to be loyal to him, too.

I grab a blanket and a pillow off the sofa and take it over in front of the fireplace. I’d always wanted a fireplace growing up. I never thought the first time I’d be curling up in front of one with a book would be with my handsome kidnapper watching me.

I lie down and reopen the book, trying not to feel salty about my cat loving someone that I think is pretty great, too.

“Cricket, I’m sorry about Johnny. Don’t be mad at him. It would break that old man’s heart if you didn’t talk to him again.”

I let his words sink in and attempt not to cry. Instead I push all thoughts of Johnny away. I block out thoughts of everything that hurts my heart and focus on my book. I turn the pages, pretending to read, while I try to come up with a plan to escape.