I wiggle my toes inside my heels, praying for some relief. This morning I made the walk to work just fine, but after running around in these shoes all day I had to take the bus home. My apartment is only a little over a mile from the art studio, but my feet are dead. Bringing two sets of clothes to work makes sense now. There’s no way I could last in that warehouse on heels all day. I need to dig through my closet and find some sneakers.

I’m still in awe of the art studio and how big it is. I barely even made a dent in some of the inventory Lilith had me go through. The place is chaos. I’m not sure how someone with a personality like Lilith has let it get so bad. My only guess is because she’s too busy to have time to deal with it. Which is true. I watched as orders came and went as fast as I could find them. I had no idea an art studio could be so busy, but it was.

I open the to-go container I got from the restaurant next to art studio and sneak a French fry out, popping it into my mouth. I have to bite back a moan. I’d been so busy today that I’d forgotten about eating lunch altogether. But I noticed no one else ate lunch either, so maybe that’s just the way it is. I’m glad I indulged in a second coffee this morning to hold me over. I don’t function well when I don’t eat. It’s a feeling that takes me back to a place I hated.

Tomorrow I’ll pack a few snacks in my purse in case I’m running around like crazy again. I was too scared to ask for a lunch break. If I was told to take lunch, I would, but I wasn’t going to go be the only person talking about food. I was lucky to have this job to begin with. I’m already trying to prove that I’m worthy of having the position and that I didn’t get it only because of Fritz. I want Lilith to see me as an asset. And as strange as it sounds, I want her approval. To feel like I’m needed and actually helping.

At the reminder of Fritz, I pull out my cell phone. When I don’t see a text from him, I’m not sure if I should worry or not. When I was in school we could go days without texting, but normally he’d let me know he was working. Today was kind of a big deal to me, and I haven’t heard a peep from him.

I know Fritz can’t always be here when I need him, but he usually makes some kind of effort to let me know he’s thinking about me. Maybe I’m just needy. I hate that. My mama was always needy of men. She always had to have one around. She went from one boyfriend to the next.

When I moved from the dorms to my new apartment he was too busy to help, but he sent over a few moving people to help me. Not that I needed a ton of help. I didn’t have a lot of things, but it was still sweet of him to find a way to be there for me. Even if he couldn’t be there in person.

I put my phone back in my purse thinking I’ll text him when I get home. Standing up, I grab my food and start to exit the bus. When I get to the door, a woman steps on, frantically looking through her purse.

“I can’t find my pass,” she pleads, a look of panic on her face.

“Sorry, ma’am. You’ll have to get off,” I hear the bus driver say to her.

I watch the dark-haired woman’s eyes water. I shake my head at how dismissive the bus driver is to her. She’s in a waitress uniform, and from the looks of her she’s heading in for her evening shift.

“I can’t be late. Plea—”

“Off now. You’re blocking other passengers,” the driver snaps, cutting her off.

The woman turns, and I dig into my purse and pull out a five-dollar bill.

“Wait.” I place my hand on her shoulder. She turns to look at me. She’s probably my age and she looks as tired as I feel. “Here.” I slip the money into her hand.

She looks down and I can tell she’s not sure if she should take it or not.

“Just pay it forward,” I tell her, giving her hand a squeeze before stepping off the bus.

“Thank you,” I hear from behind me. I give her a smile over my shoulder before continuing on towards my apartment. I never understand how people can be so mean to one another.

I really hope my roommate Roxy isn’t home tonight, but I have a feeling I’m not going to be that lucky.

I really should have met Roxy before I moved into the apartment. Then maybe I would have known that Roxy is a man and not a woman like I thought.

When I found the apartment online I thought I’d struck gold. The price was affordable and close to my work. Not to mention it had a small gym and even a pool. The pictures of the place looked amazing and I knew I could never afford a place like this on my own. Not to mention it was in a safe gated community.

The ad said that Roxy played violin and would sometimes practice at home and was in a band that traveled often for gigs. I thought hearing a little violin wouldn’t be so bad. And as a bonus, I’d have the place to myself from time to time.

I was oh-so wrong. I should have looked them up first. Roxy plays the violin in a death metal band. I didn’t even know that such a thing existed, but apparently it does. And let’s not forget the singing he does with it, or as most people would call it, screaming. Also, he hasn’t traveled once since I moved in. Which is not shocking, because who would book his band for a show? They’re terrible. Or at least to my ears. It also doesn’t help that I can’t stand Roxy. He’s a jerk and rude most of the time. It doesn’t help that he’s a slob. I thank the heavens that he at least hires a cleaning person to come in every other week to clean up after him.

“Johnny,” I call out to the guy who is always sitting on the bench outside of my apartment gates. “I got us dinner at some fancy place,” I tell him as I make my way over to where he’s sitting.

Johnny is probably in his late sixties if I’m to guess from the gray hair and wrinkles on his face. He’s the only friend I’ve made since I moved into my new place. I bring him food at least once a day. I love cooking when I have the extra time, it’s not a problem. This is the first time I’ve ever really had a kitchen that’s actually stocked. I may have gone overboard a few times, but Johnny seems to enjoy it.

“One day at that art studio and already too fancy for fast food?” he teases me.

I laugh. “To be honest there wasn't a fast food place close enough for me to walk to. My feet are dead.” I drop down onto the bench next to him. He gives me an easy smile. Johnny is always smiling, and it lights up his whole face. It’s contagious. It helps that he’s so easy to talk to. I spend more time with him than I do with my own boyfriend.

“I’ll eat anything.”

“Okay. Well, the place might be fancy, but I can’t understand their menu, so I acted like I was ordering for children and got us stuff off the kids menu. I think it was a French place. It was crazy busy and I thought if it was so busy it must be good. All those thoughts disappeared when I saw the menu.”

Johnny bursts out laughing and I pull out the containers. “Chicken fingers or cheeseburger?” I give them a little shake.

“Chicken,” he says, and I hand it to him.

We open the boxes and start eating. I tell him about my day and he tells me about his. I always worry about him. A few times I’m pretty sure he slept out here. He always tells me he gets into a shelter at night, but I’m not so sure he does. I’ve stopped asking because I know it makes him uncomfortable. I may not be able to do much for him, but I can always get him a warm meal. It’s the least I can do for a man who fought for our country. Johnny can talk for hours about his time in the Army. I love listening to his stories. He reminds me of a grandpa that I never had.

“I better get inside. I need a hot shower and my bed.” I stand, and a yawn leaves my mouth. I glance up at the window of my living room. The light is on, so I’m guessing Roxy is home. Lovely. I hope that he’s at least alone tonight. His bandmates are creepy. They like to stare a little too much. I hide out when they’re around, not even going out to the kitchen. I’ve got a mini fridge in my room to keep stuff for when I get hungry and I’m barricaded in.

The women he brings home aren’t much better. I’ve tried to make small talk with a few of them, but they ignore me for the most part. I walked in on him having sex on the sofa over the weekend and that image will forever be branded into my brain. He lost his shit on me after the girl left. Not that they stopped going at it when I walked in. Nope they kept on going, like it was totally fine. I stood there shocked for a good ten seconds. It was like a train wreck and I couldn’t look away. All those years in college and I never walked in on two people doing it.

The girl he was with asked me if I wanted to join in. That’s when I came back to reality. I shook my head then ran to my room. Roxy started calling me a voyeur after that. I naïvely had to look up what that meant. I’m still a little unsure if he was pissed I walked in on them or that I hadn't joined them. From the look of the women he’s been with, I’m so not his type in any way.

“Roxy’s home,” Johnny says as if reading my thoughts. “You let me know if he’s giving you trouble again.” My eyes meet Johnny’s dark blue ones. I swear the man has a sixth sense sometimes. It’s like he knows what I’m thinking. I smile at him. At least someone cares.

“Nothing can be worse than last weekend.” I let out a forced laugh.

I try to lighten the situation, because I don’t want Johnny to worry about me. I told him everything that happened, and I might have dumped more on him than I should have. But my roommate is super crappy, and I don’t have anyone else. Fritz is too busy, and I’m still kind of upset that he didn’t mind my roommate was a man. When I asked Fritz about staying with him only for a few days while I tried to find another place, he looked at me like I was crazy and I didn’t bring it up again. So I moved in with Roxy and tried to make the best of it.

I hadn’t even told Fritz about what happened. Sadly, I think I’m telling myself I haven’t because he’s been so busy, but the truth is I’m scared that he won’t care. I can almost hear his voice in my head saying, “just ignore him, Blair. Stay in your room. You’re an adult, these things happen. It’s no big deal.” I didn’t want to hear that from him. I wanted him to get mad and come to my defense. Should a boyfriend do that? Get jealous? Maybe punch him or something? I shake the thoughts, knowing I’m being juvenile. Hit him? Really, Blair? Still the thought lingers.

“See you tomorrow, Blair,” Johnny says, giving me a wink.

“Later.” I give him a small wave before grabbing my leftover container and tossing it into the trash can.

I scan my card, and the gates to my complex open. I make my way inside and up the stairs to my place. I slip my key into the door and listen for a moment before I open it. I don’t hear anything but the television, so I turn the key and go inside.

When I open the door, Roxy jumps off the couch and sits up. Our eyes meet, and I see his face is swollen like he ran into a wall or something.

“Are you okay?” I ask, taking a step towards him. His normally black oily hair is pulled up into a bun. His dark eyes narrow on me and they look a little crazy.

“Like you don’t fucking know,” he grits out as he stands.

He turns off the television and tosses the remote onto the glass coffee table with a loud bang. The sound makes me cringe. One plus to this apartment is that it’s nicely furnished. I’m pretty sure Roxy comes from a well-to-do family that handles most of his bills. I’m also guessing they don’t give him outright cash, though. That’s the reason he got a roommate. He wanted some spending money his parents didn’t control.

I don’t think they care for Roxy’s career choice, but at least they care. Or that’s the way I look at it. The grass is always greener on the other side. Who knows? I don’t know why I’m trying to understand someone who clearly doesn’t like me. Maybe I’m not the only one who should have met the other before we agreed on this living situation.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I walk over to the fridge, open it and find a bag of frozen corn. I grab it and turn around and try to hand it to him. But if looks could kill, I’d be dead ten times over. Maybe he’s been drinking or something. I know he and his bandmates can party pretty hard, but it seems a little early for that.

“You stay out of my way, and I’ll stay out of yours.” His eyes are still locked on me, making me feel uneasy.

“Okay.” I say the word slowly.

That’s what I’ve been doing since the day I moved in. I spend ninety percent of my time in my bedroom. I only come out to use the kitchen and I do that mostly when he’s gone. God knows I won’t be hanging out on the sofa, especially after seeing what he does on it.

I drop the bag of frozen corn on the table next to the remote. Up close I can tell it looks like his face took a few rounds with a wall. It looks painful.

“Maybe you should look into a new place,” he throws out. He looks like he is second-guessing his choice of words.

It’s clear he’s more than pissed at me, and I panic. It’s not like I have somewhere else to go. “I’ll stay out of your away,” I offer, trying to calm him down. “Plus, the lease.” I signed a lease when I moved in. He can’t just kick me out. Or maybe he can. I should probably look over it again.

“Whatever,” he mumbles. “Stay, but let’s avoid each other.”

He picks up the bag of frozen corn, his keys, and cell phone from off the table. He shoves past me, and I almost trip over my own feet. He stops at the front door and turns around to glare at me.

“Keep your boyfriend away from me,” he says before slamming the door closed.

I stand there for a moment, still not sure what happened. What does this have to do with my boyfriend? They have never even met. Fritz has been here maybe twice since I moved in. Actually, maybe it was only once.

I slip my heels off, letting out a small moan. Bending over, I pick them up before heading towards my bedroom. I open my bedroom door and smile when I see Bear laid out in the center of my bed. He doesn’t even move. He opens one eye as I toss my heels towards my closet before falling onto the bed next to him. He’s the reason Fritz won’t come over more. He’s allergic to cats.

I run my fingers through Bear’s thick black fur. “How’s my baby doing?” I coo at the giant cat that’s clearly not a baby anymore. He purrs loudly. Bear was roaming around the apartment when I moved in. When I asked Roxy about him he said he belonged to his grandma who died. Roxy and Bear hate each other. I think Bear hates everyone but me. For some reason I kind of like that.

“Do you know why Roxy is so grumpy?” I ask him. His only response is to roll over and give me better access to his tummy. I keep petting him as I dig through my purse looking for my phone. When I find it, I send Fritz a quick text.

Me: Home! First day was awesome.

Okay, maybe that was a lie, but I don't want to seem ungrateful. I felt productive and after the little slip with sitting in the wrong chair I started to get the hang of things. Well, at least I think I did. Lilith never yelled or snapped at me, so I’m taking that as a positive. She isn’t one who will hold back if I do something wrong. I may have just met her today, but I can tell that much already. She gets straight to the point and doesn’t hold any punches. She’s fascinating to watch as she’s always in control and poised.

Fritz: That’s great, sweetheart.

I stare at the message, willing him to say more. I don’t want to come off needy, but maybe we’ve become used to not seeing each other. Things are supposed to be changing between us, but they are more stagnant than ever. I’m not sure if it’s a good or bad thing. I know we both want to focus on making something of ourselves, but it feels like there should be something else between the two of us.

I sit up and cross my legs. I hit the call button and the phone rings and rings and rings before it goes to voicemail. I toss the phone on the bed before getting up and slipping out of my dress. I search for something to wear tomorrow along with something I can bring to change into. I hope I get to spend most of my day in the back. While checking the inventory I took down as many artist names as I could so I could Google them tonight and learn as much about them as I could.

I decide on what to wear, then I set the pile of clothes aside on a chair. Once I’m finished with that, I go into the bathroom and begin my nightly routine.

When I hear my phone ring I drop my brush and rush over to answer it before it goes to voicemail.

“Fritz,” I say happily. I don’t want sound tired from my day at work.

“Hey, sweetheart. Sorry I’ve been so busy.”

I fall back onto the bed. Bear gets up and lies on my chest. “That’s okay. I know you have a lot going on,” I respond. I’m just thankful he could at least find the time. That maybe he does care.

“I stopped by the studio hoping I’d catch you.”

“Oh. If you would have told me you were coming I could have waited.” I try not to sound snippy. I know he’s busy, but is it that hard to send a quick text?

“No worries. We’ll plan for dinner sometime this week.”

“Okay, when?” I question.

“I don’t know. I’ll have to look over my schedule,” he says, sounding distracted. I hear a feminine laugh in the background.

“What are you up to?”

“I told you. I’m at the studio.” This time Fritz’s voice is a little sterner with me. It’s the one he uses when he thinks I’m acting childish.

“Of course. Sorry.” I pet Bear as I try to ignore the sting of his words. But I feel like I’ve just been scolded. Maybe I am being childish. What do I know about being in the business world, or even having to multitask that with a relationship?

“Sweetheart, I really have to run. I promise I’ll try and come by again tomorrow when you’re here. I haven’t see you in days.”

“Okay.” I let out a deep breath.

Fritz pauses for a moment, and for a second I think he’s hung up. “Lilith told me you did a good job today. I’m proud of you.” At that, I smile, feeling a little bit better. “Gotta go, I’ll text you later,” he finishes before hanging up.

I drop the phone back down onto the bed next to me. It’s then I realize I forgot to ask him about what Roxy said.

“Guess it’s just you and me tonight, Bear.” I pull the cat close as I reassure myself that this is what I wanted.

* * *

My hands are shaking as I take the steps to her apartment. When I get to the door, I don’t bother to knock as I burst through the door and see Roxy on the sofa.

“Hey, who the fuck—” he starts to say, but I cut him off when my fist connects with his face. He had it coming and I don’t feel any guilt about it.

He goes down hard in the middle of the room, and I let my anger and frustration guide me as I pick him up off the floor by his shirt. I hold him a few inches off the floor so we’re face to face.

“I heard you’re giving my girl a hard time,” I say, getting in his face.

“Who?” he asks, confusion clear in his eyes.

“Blair,” I say through my teeth. I have to remind myself that I can’t kill him. “She’s been complaining about you, and I don’t like it.”

“I didn’t touch her,” he says, holding his hands up. It’s then I see real fear from him as he tries to explain. “It was just a joke that one time. She’s so uptight.”

I backhand him across the mouth for daring to speak anything negative about her. “Listen, you little punk bitch. You so much as look at her sideways and I’ll take your eyes out.” He tries to push away from me, but I hold him tight. “Do you understand?”

“Yeah, yeah, man. We’re cool,” he says, and there’s no fight in him.

I release him and take a step back as he tries to stand on his own feet. “No, we’re far from cool. But you’ve been warned.” He nods, coughing as he rubs his neck. I take a business card out of my pocket and hold it out to him. “If anything strange happens with her, or that guy Fritz shows up, you call me.”

He takes the card and nods, glancing up at me then away.

I don’t say anything else as I turn away from him and walk out the door. I’m too on edge and too worked up. I would have never done anything like this before Blair, and I don’t know how much more of this shit I can take.