Sara
“THAT WAS A nice place; you guys think you’ll get it?” Denise’s voice had a nervous shrill as she wrung her hands in her lap. She was equal parts excited and terrified to meet her niece, and as soon as Drew found a parking space by Josh and Brianna’s apartment, her chest began to heave, and her words fell out of her mouth at a rapid rate.
“I think so. One of the apartments anyway.” I craned my head and gave my sister the most reassuring smile I could pull off. It always worked when she was little, and I prayed I hadn’t lost my touch. “Hey, she’s going to love you; no need to be nervous at all.” I reached back to give her knee a squeeze. “She’d love it if you’d live with us, too.”
Both Drew and I kept extending the invitation to live with us, but for the moment she wouldn’t budge.
Her eyes rolled as she shook her head. “I’m fine, Sara. I’ll come visit but I don’t need a room in your new apartment.” Drew shot me a side-glance before we stepped out of the car. The apartments we viewed today had plenty of room for more than the three of us and part of me yearned for the chance to make up for lost time with my sister. I’d have to settle for visits, but I was overjoyed to have her back in my life in any capacity.
Our parents had just died, but after the initial shock faded, all I’d felt was relief. Always sadness for what we should have had and what could have been, but mostly closure.
“I told Victoria I had a surprise for her so she’s probably chomping at the bit until we get inside.” I nodded in the direction of their front door, attempting to urge my sister to move from Drew’s back seat. I ignored my own tension to ease hers.
When we left the landlord’s office, I should have been elated. This was my goal, what I worked so hard for over the past year. We’d have a great apartment and a lifestyle much more comfortable than the one I was barely holding onto. But, after being with her father for so long . . . maybe she didn’t want to leave. Josh did a stellar job stepping into the role of full-time parent, and the old Sara would have resented the shit out of him for it. This one only wanted happiness for everyone involved. If Victoria wanted to stay with her father, I’d be devastated but would deal.
“What’s wrong?” Drew whispered in my ear as we ambled up the block.
“What? Nothing.”
He pulled back and squinted at me. “If you bite your lip any harder, you’re going to draw blood.” He snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me close as Denise trudged in front of us. “It’s not the good kind of biting your lip, either. So, spill.” He pinched my side and made me jump.
“Victoria may not want to leave.” His shoulders dropped in irritation when he caught my gaze.
“Are you serious right now? The same little girl Josh had to pile into his car in almost tears when she left my apartment and left you? You’re her mother. She’s always going to want to be with you.”
“Maybe, but they made a nice home for her here. Is it selfish of me to pull her out of it?” My eyes drifted to their apartment windows and the Wonder Woman window clings decorating the panes in Victoria’s room. “I took her away from her father before, and all it did was hurt her.”
“You didn’t know him before; you thought that was the only choice to make. He’s a reasonable guy, you’re more or less reasonable now.” I punched his arm when he let out a snicker. “You both can make it work so that she’s not pulled from either of you.”
“Right.” I reached for my sister’s hand before I rang the doorbell. “Neither of us get to chicken out.” The corners of my lips lifted into a smile at the scampering of feet followed by the locks clicking.
“Mommy!” Victoria leaped into my arms and clutched my waist. She was so tall now that her head grazed my chest.
“Surprise,” I whispered in her ear.
“Drew’s here, too!” She gasped when she caught sight of him next to me.
“Hey, pretty girl.” He kissed her forehead and stepped aside, revealing where Denise hid behind him.
“Who are you?” My daughter’s brow furrowed as she brought her eyes back to mine.
“This is your Aunt Denise. My sister.”
“You have a sister?” Her nose crinkled at me. “Since when?”
I laughed. “It’s a story for another day, but she’s dying to meet you.”
Denise’s eyes welled as she leaned over to be eye to eye with her niece. “Hi, Victoria. You’re even prettier than your pictures.”
“You’re like, my real aunt?”
She laughed and gave her a slow nod. “Yes, I am. And you have no idea how happy I am to finally meet you.”
“Cool! Want to see my room?” Drew and I shot Denise our best “I told you so” glare before Victoria dragged her away by the hand.
“Hi, Sara.” Josh ushered all of us in before he shut the door behind us. “This had to be an awful couple of days for you. I’m so sorry.”
I shrugged, still unsure of how to respond when someone offered their condolences. I thanked him for the gesture, but my parents were gone to me a long time ago. I mourned, but I wasn’t bereaved.
“Josh.” Drew extended his hand and Josh took it like they were old friends, a huge comparison to how he looked him up and down on Christmas.
“Hi, Sara, Drew.” Brianna came behind him and offered me a warm smile.
“I actually have things to discuss with you. Can we go into the living room?”
Josh nodded and followed us inside. He took a seat on the couch with Brianna as Drew and I settled on the loveseat across the room.
“Well, I have some news. I got that assistant chef job in Midtown.”
“That’s awesome! Congratulations!” Brianna beamed with pure and sincere happiness. “When do you start?”
“June first, and I may have an apartment. It’s actually pretty close by—walking distance, in fact.”
“That new complex by the train station?” Josh asked with his elbows resting on his knees.
“Yes, we looked at two of the vacant apartments. One has a terrace and one doesn’t, but Victoria will have her own room, plus a spare—”
“‘We’?” Josh’s eyes darted between Drew and me. “So, you both are making this . . . permanent, then?”
“Yes.” My abrupt answer came out just as tense as my sister’s on the way here. Drew rested his hand on my thigh and gave it a squeeze. Why was I so nervous? Josh always had Brianna, so why did it seem as if I had to ask permission to move in with someone? A pang of guilt twisted my gut remembering how I’d purposely made Josh and his then girlfriend squirm whenever they wanted to take my daughter anywhere.
His mouth stretched in a smile as he caught Brianna’s gaze. She returned the same wide grin.
“Good for you.” He nodded at us. “Vic will be happy. She talks about Drew nonstop.”
Drew nudged my leg with his and threw me a wink.
“I’ll be working nights and I’m sure a lot of weekends. I’ll be living close enough that she can go back and forth without too much trouble. I . . .” I lifted my eyes to their expectant but so damn good-natured expressions. “I don’t know how I’ll ever thank you. She’s happy and healthy and . . . you’re great parents to her. The last thing I’d want to do is take her away. I kept her away from you for a long time, and it’s a little hard to forgive myself for it.”
“Sara, we’ll work it out as we go. Not that I don’t think she likes it here, but we aren’t you. She’ll have you back and that’s all we want. She’s got a lot of love, more than I had as a kid.” Josh huffed out a laugh. “There are worse things for a little girl, right?”
“Oh, yeah.” I nodded with a sad chuckle.
“I don’t think we’ve met formally. I was dragged past you on my way in. I’m Denise.” My sister came into the living room and shook Josh and Brianna’s hands.
“Sorry for your loss,” Brianna offered. Denise nodded, unlike me, still getting used to not having her parents around.
“Victoria wants a sleepover, so I guess I’ll be staying at your apartment at least once.” She laughed as she pulled Victoria into her side. My soul sighed, their similarities as they stood side by side overwhelming me. My sister passed her boisterous spirit along to her niece, and I knew if they could only meet, they’d be instant best friends.
“Of course, she does.” I scoffed. “She probably won’t let you leave.”
Drew leaned back on the couch and extended his arm on the cushions behind me. “Lovable as hell, right?”
She smiled and crossed her arms over her torso. “Absolutely. I have a lot of spoiling to catch up on.”
“Mommy!” Victoria barreled over to the couch where Drew and I sat. “Aunt Denise said you got a new apartment!” Her eyes widened.
I pulled her to sit between us. “Almost. I’ll probably move in at the end of May, and Drew is moving in with me. With us.”
She popped off the couch and gaped at the both of us. “You are?”
“I am.” Drew nodded before she flung her arms around his neck, and the elation on both their faces almost had me in tears.
She ran back over to where I sat, eyes wide and hopeful. “That means I can go home? Let me get my stuff.”
I caught her arm before she made a mad dash to her room. “Not yet, and it’s not the same home. It’s a nicer one, though. Much bigger and nicer.”
“You won’t go away anymore?” Her voice was small and caught me right in the chest.
“Well, I’ll be working some nights, and you’ll still stay here sometimes, too, but yes. I won’t be away anymore.”
“Yes!” She tackled me with a hug so strong my head fell back. I enveloped her in my arms and buried my head in her neck.
My chest flooded with warmth and relief. All this time I worked my fingers to the bone to give Victoria a better home. But she didn’t care where home was—as long as it was with me.