Sara
THE PRAYERS WERE short and sweet as the priest didn’t know my parents personally. I wished them the peace in death they couldn’t find in life. They disowned me years ago, so my grief wasn’t about missing them. I mourned for what should have been. As I waited for my sister in the living room this morning, my eyes searched the room as I imagined all the moments we should have had: Victoria crawling over the carpet as a baby; her grandparents reveling in each milestone; congratulating me with pride in their eyes when I found a way to go back to school; the moment with my mother when I told her about falling in love for the first time with Drew. When we left my parents at the cemetery, the finality of what I never had sunk in, and I was sadder for them and their wasted years than I was for me.
The car dropped us back off at the funeral home and Drew drove us to the lawyer’s office—the air in the car thick with uncomfortable silence. I wished the lawyer hadn’t insisted on reading the will an hour after the funeral, but it was probably best to get it all over with. I worried about my sister. Yes, she was an adult, but a young one. The thought of her living in that house all alone didn’t sit right with me at all.
“Sara, Denise, come in.” A stocky man in a tight suit motioned to us to come into his office when we arrived. For a reason I couldn’t explain, my stomach twisted. The cemetery was our final goodbye, but this would be the permanent confirmation of how they felt about me—or how little they felt about me. I expected absolutely nothing and only came along to support my sister. My chest tightened again at all these big decisions about to fall into her lap before she was ready.
“I’ll wait out here,” Drew whispered.
“No, you’re coming in with me.” I rose from the chair and pulled him up by the hand. I didn’t want to experience the final “eff you” from my parents alone. We ambled into the office and sat down on the leather couch across from his desk.
“I’m sorry for your loss.” He looked between Denise and me as he unfolded the papers in his hand. “Your parents were very specific in their wishes, so this shouldn’t take very long.”
“I bet they were,” I huffed to Drew. He draped his arm around my shoulders and rubbed my back.
“The house and any savings are in a trust for Denise Marie Caldwell until her twenty-first birthday. She can sell the house at that time but not before. A trust of $50,000 was left to a Victoria Elizabeth Caldwell.”
“Wait.” I grabbed the edge of the desk, positive I heard that completely wrong. “They left a trust in my daughter’s name? Why?” I stammered as my body went rigid with shock.
He pushed the rim of his glasses up as he nodded. “Yes, and there is also an annuity in her name as well. Your parents knew how to invest, and your father had a great pension. Looks like you have a little help with college tuition.” He leaned over to hand me an envelope. “All the information is there.”
All these years, they never bothered with either of us or even opened up a Christmas card to see her picture. Is it possible they regretted cutting us out of their lives? I couldn’t describe how I was feeling. It was a cross between getting punched in the stomach and holding a winning lottery ticket.
“When did they set this up?” I whispered as I grabbed the envelope with a shaking hand. “This has to be a mistake.”
“They added this in January. I assure you these were their final wishes.”
This was a dream, right? A month after my mother hung up on me—on Christmas Eve—my parents set up a trust for my daughter. As much as my head ached from trying, I couldn’t connect the dots.
I draped my hand over my mouth in an attempt to control the myriad of emotions rushing through me. Help in paying for Victoria’s college tuition and whatever else she would need as she grew was a dream come true, but my bigger dream was having them be a part of her life. I’d never understood what was in my parents’ heads or hearts and never would.
I guessed some mysteries were never meant to be solved.
“Longest day ever, right?” A nervous laugh shook my sister’s shoulders as we shared a pizza at my parents’ kitchen table. Most of the afternoon was spent in stilted and awkward conversation after we arrived back from the lawyer’s office. Denise’s eyes darted between Drew and me, a thousand questions dangling between us—questions I had no clue how to answer. I loved him for what he did, for rushing all this way to be with me when I needed him the most, but nothing had changed. He was still a young man with the world at his fingertips, and I refused to be the woman who got in the way.
“Are you staying, Drew? I can get you some pillows and blankets for the couch. It’s actually pretty comfortable.”
“That would be great. I thought I could stay with my aunt, but I forgot they’re all away. I could use some sleep before the drive back up. Thanks, Denise,” he answered as his eyes caught mine.
“I’m looking at an apartment tomorrow,” I said to my sister while ignoring the heat of Drew’s stare. Not the best thing to bring up in front of him, but in my desperation to divert attention from the discomfiture in the room, it was all I had. “And I’m seeing Victoria tomorrow. Would you like to come?”
She gasped and fell back into the seat. “I . . . you’ll let me meet her?” She nodded with a quivering chin.
“I always wanted you to meet her.” I dropped my eyes to the table. “All of you,” I whispered to myself.
“Do you think she’ll, you know, be weirded out by an aunt she doesn’t know?” My sister’s pleading eyes begged me to say no.
“She wasn’t weirded out by a father she didn’t know,” I chuckled. “You’ll be fine.” I dropped a hand to her forearm and squeezed.
“She’s pretty lovable,” Drew added. “In fact, she’s impossible not to love. Knows her comics, too.” He regarded us with a sad smile before rising from the table and tossing his paper plate into the trash. “Bathroom is upstairs?”
My throat was too thick to utter a reply. I motioned toward the stairs with my chin.
“What’s going on with you guys?” Denise’s whisper tore me out of my thoughts.
“It’s complicated, DeDe.” I stood to clean off the table.
“Doesn’t look so complicated. I’ve known him less than a day, and it’s obvious he adores you. Hasn’t today taught you anything about waste?” She clucked her tongue before storming out of the kitchen.
That talk needed to happen tonight, but I didn’t know how I could let him go a second time.