CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
He hadn’t let her speak. There’d been something on her mind, and he’d sensed she wasn’t in a good place. He hadn’t believed she been ill at the beach, and her behaviour had been erratic when they’d come home. Then when he’d gone to her bedroom to talk to her and seen the strap of her bag on her shoulder, his gut felt as though it’d been punched to the floor.
In that moment, he knew he couldn’t let her go. He’d done the wrong thing by not letting her talk. He’d kissed her to show how much he wanted her, and when she’d melted into his arms, he hadn’t wanted anything expect her soft curves and willing body.
He could only hope that now she knew how much he cared for her. If last night didn’t show her how much he worshipped her, then he’d just have to damn well show her again until she believed him.
His bed was different this morning. It wasn’t cold or empty. An auburn-haired, beautiful woman snuggled into his arms, dainty fingers splayed over his chest, her slender thigh thrown wantonly over his. She belonged in his arms. There was a sense of rightness he felt to the centre of his soul. The fact that she’d shared herself with him so passionately last night told him her feelings ran deep.
She filled a hole that had existed like an endless vacuum since Hanna’s death. He’d merely thought it before. Now he knew it with every cell in his body. All he had to do was convince her that this was her place.
She sighed in her sleep, a slight frown marring her forehead. He pressed his lips to smooth it out. His heart wrenched as she tucked in her chin and sprawled more over him. She hadn’t known much kindness or gentleness in her life, but now he had her right where he wanted her, and it was up to him to show her a lifetime of difference.
She thought so little of herself. Didn’t seem to know the difference she’d brought to both his life and Madeline’s, although if she’d witnessed the emptiness before her arrival, she would soon see the difference.
The house was alive. His daughter smiled and had changed from the shy, solemn little girl he’d come to know. He’d come alive. He hooked his arm firmly around her shoulders and held her close, reveling in her warmth.
He wanted to keep her in his arms and bed for the next week, but the party tonight was too close to cancel. Damn if he wouldn’t have loved those roads to be closed now.
He’d let his business define who he was for too long now. Had let himself be carried away, hiding behind long work hours to dull the ache in his heart. At first, it had given him space not to think about Hanna’s death. He hadn’t realised what a noose it had become. Not until Elizabeth had stirred it alive again and let him see how empty his life really was.
A deep sigh lifted his chest. He’d like nothing more than to spend his weekend with Elizabeth, not with his clients and staff. However, it was only one more night. One more evening with Anastasia. After she’d approved these last lot of changes, he’d allot his foreman to be the contact. Once she saw Elizabeth, hopefully she’d understand he wasn’t interested in her like that.
Many men would be. The woman was beautiful. Not as warmly beautiful as Elizabeth, but sophisticated as a world-wise city-chic woman who knew what she looked like and knew how to use it. But when he compared the woman in his arms, Anastasia didn’t come close. He’d never come home in his heart with Anastasia the way he had with Elizabeth.
Elizabeth stirred, her large eyes blinking awake. He firmed his fingers on her delicate shoulder, not wanting her to move from his side, and smiled down at her. “Hello, beautiful.” He bent to press his lips against hers, losing himself in their softness.
Her eyes softened and fluttered closed. God, she tasted so good in the morning. She pulled back. Reluctantly, he let her.
“I can’t believe I slept here.” Her voice was husky.
“I’m glad you did.”
Her mouth curved into a soft smile. “Me too.” Her body then stiffened as her forehead pulled into a frown. She pushed back. “James, there’s something I need to tell you.”
She hadn’t forgotten what she’d wanted to tell him last night. He had a bad feeling he didn’t want to hear it. He caught her chin between his thumb and knuckle.
“Can it wait? There’s a myriad of other things I’d like to do to you this morning.”
He caught her mouth in a languid kiss. She moaned, tilting her head so she could plunder his mouth with her tongue. Her fingers firmed on his chest.
It amazed him how such a light touch could do such things to his body. He came to his side, pressing her back to the mattress, and slipped his hips between her things. His erection rubbed in her slick heat. He gently tilted his hips back and forth, delighting in the sensual friction. She shuddered, her legs drawing behind him, heels pressing into the back of his thighs.
“The things you do to me,” she said.
He dipped his head, nipping her lips. “The things you do back to me, Elizabeth.”
He increased the pressure of his thrust, drawing the full length of himself through her slick folds. She threw her head back, mouth falling open, eyes closing. That action arched her back, her breasts pressing upwards.
He bent, capturing a nipple in his mouth. A sound between a gasp and a groan rose from low in her throat. He positioned himself at her entrance as he swirled the tip of her nipple with his tongue.
A slight move of her hips had him entering her. He groaned as her heated tightness enveloped him. She wound her arms around his shoulders, her thighs locking around his hips, clinging as he thrust long and slow, teasing both of them. He placed his palms on either side of her face, holding her so he could deepen his kiss.
One repeated thought entered his mind with each growing thrust. Whatever was on her mind, they would face it together. She just needed to be convinced that she could depend on him. He shuddered his release as she splintered around him. Somehow, he had to undo a lifetime of abuse.
* * *
James wasn’t making this easy. Each passing moment, each gentle caress, each time he pushed her out of her mind with explosive sex chipped away at her decision to tell him about David.
After what they’d shared, even thinking about leaving tore a hole in her heart. It was going to be so hard. However making love to him like this was only putting off the inevitable.
She sighed, steeling herself. At least she had memories to take with her. Memories she’d covet like aged whiskey. She’d let the memories flow, smooth and heated when she only had herself to keep warm at night. After he hated her for bringing David Logan to his doorstep and deceiving him from who she actually was.
“What was that sigh about?”
She closed her eyes for a moment, scooting back on the bed and pulling out of his reach. She tucked the sheet around her breasts. It would only take a mere touch to completely undo her, and she needed distance to do this.
“Don’t tell me,” he said.
Her brow scrunched in a frown. “What?”
“I can tell something is wrong. From yesterday. You haven’t been yourself. If you don’t want to tell me, don’t,” he said.
She shook her head. If he knew what she had to say, he wouldn’t be telling her to keep it to herself. “You can’t say that.”
“All I know is, whatever it is, it can’t be bad enough for that look on your face,” he said.
“What look?”
“That look as though the end of the world is coming,” James said.
Not the end of the entire world; just the world as she wanted it to be. This was so hard. He reached for her, but she drew back. “You wouldn’t say that if you knew what it was.”
James leaned back against the headboard, pulling the sheet to his waist. At least now she could think a little clearer without the temptation of his naked body. He turned those serious eyes on her, pinning her.
“Whatever it is, we’ll get through it. I’m not going to let anything come between us. You’re not alone anymore, Elizabeth.”
“You wouldn’t say that if you knew what I want...need...to tell you.” The words that fell from her mouth were as sharp as ragged glass splinters.
“Elizabeth, understand me, whatever it is, I’ll help you.” He splayed his fingers through his hair. “I know I’ve only known you a week, but...”
“No! Don’t!”
She held out her palm, panic causing her heart to pound against her ribs. Whatever he said was only going to make it harder. She didn’t know what to do with this understanding. She didn’t deserve it. Any of it.
“The way I feel...”
“Stop!”
She leapt from the bed, yanking the sheet around her. She grabbed the jumper he’d shrugged off last night from the floor and tossed it to him. He caught it with a deep frown on his face.
“Just listen to me, James.”
He covered himself with the jumper, a dangerous look on his face, “Tell me, Elizabeth, but it’s not going to change the way I feel about you.”
“You won’t say that when you know,” she muttered.
“Did you have a sleepover in Daddy’s bed, Liz’beth?”
Elizabeth spun to see Madeline peeping around the open door. Her hair was sleep-tussled. She wiped unruly strands out of her eyes and tucked her teddy bear she slept with under her chin.
Elizabeth forced a relaxed smile on her face. "Hello, honey. How are you this morning?”
Madeline’s large blue eyes slid from her to James. “How come you have a jumper in your lap?”
James slipped the jumper over his head. “Just getting dressed, sweetheart.”
Madeline smiled. “You have to stand up to get dressed, silly.” She raced to the bed and jumped on James, squealing when he wrapped his arms about her in a bear hug.
“Are you coming to bed, Liz’beth? We can all play bears in the bed together,” Madeline said.
Elizabeth shook her head, desperately trying to ignore the temptation to take Madeline up on her suggestion and hug the two people who had come to mean so much to her.
“No, honey. Not this time. You have some time with Dad, and I’m going to go and get dressed.”
“We’ll talk about this later, Elizabeth,” James said.
She paused, one hand on the door frame, studying the pair as her heart swelled. She nodded, not trusting herself to speak, knowing there would be no later.