‘My wedding day? You are having a laugh, my girl. I’m not getting married. No way. No freaking way.’ Chloe walked into the transformed yoga studio. Not forgetting her manners, she smiled at everyone as she walked past them, but made a beeline for Vaughn. She was mad as hell, but the moment her eyes connected with her boyfriend’s, the anger steamed out of her. ‘Vaughn? We’re not getting married, are we?’

He shrugged, all dressed up in the suit Jenna had sneakily commandeered from his wardrobe. ‘Apparently we are.’

‘Did… did you plan this?’

He smiled and raised his hands. He was a man who knew the Chloe Bridezilla score. Too well. ‘Not likely. I wouldn’t dare.’

She whipped around to Jenna and pointed her finger. ‘You planned this. You.’

‘I did. Yes.’ Damn. Damn. Damn. Jenna’s gut contorted. Why had she thought this would work? She’d got all carried away on a fairy tale instead of listening to everyone else. No one had thought this was a good idea. Except her. ‘Because I believe in love and you believe in celebrating it. You’re a wedding planner for heaven’s sake. You love weddings. I just thought you needed a push.’ Jenna held her breath. Please. Please. Please. ‘Call it an intervention.’

‘An intervention? Why?’

Jenna smoothed her sister’s hair and touched her cheek. This woman had loved her and protected her and supported her, even when Jenna didn’t want supporting and would have preferred to fester in her sad, lonely bed. She’d do damned near anything to make her happy. ‘Because you need one. It’s with the very best of intentions. I know it’s a surprise. I know you’ll probably hate me forever. But I love you and I want you to be happy.’ She didn’t mention the jilting and Jason the ex and the bouquet-bashing Chloe had done in her Bridezilla state when her plans had been utterly dashed the first time around. ‘I know you love Vaughn and he loves you. And I know you want to be married.’ Because she’d spent so long planning and dreaming over her last intended nuptials.

Chloe turned to Vaughn. She was shaking, but it didn’t look anger-induced. ‘Do you want to?’

‘Hell yes. You know I do.’ He kissed the top of her head and then her mouth. For a long time.

Jenna tapped him on the shoulder. Time was ticking and the celebrant had other things to do. ‘Ahem. No one’s said you can kiss the bride yet.’

‘Sorry.’ Vaughn laughed. ‘Can’t help it.’

Chloe was still staring in disbelief. ‘In my yoga clothes? You want me to walk down the aisle—lovely aisle by the way.’ Chloe knew understated chic when she saw it, and the book group girls had done a fabulous job. Across the ceiling, they’d strung palest pink and gold bunting to match the curtains. A myriad of candles were lit so there was a flickering soft glow over the ribbon-adorned white chairs set out in two rows. An aisle down the centre led to a small white table, Jenna’s crafted posies, two stand-in rings courtesy of Nick, and the celebrant. ‘In Lycra?’

‘Don’t be silly, we’ve got a dress and shoes. And food.’ Jenna pointed to the side table where there were piles of sandwiches, samosas, cakes, tarts, canapescanapés, nibbles and a beautiful iced wedding cake. ‘I know you’re scared. It’s okay to feel that way, but Vaughn’s here and he’s not going to run.’ She turned to her soon-to-be brother-in-law. ‘You’d better not or I’ll kill you.’

He planted his feet firmly on the floor. ‘I’m here. Forever. I love you, Chloe. Let’s do this.’

‘I love you, Vaughn.’ A tear ran down Chloe’s face. Then another. She turned to the breathless guests. ‘I love you all, thank you. Thank you so much. I’m… I’m stunned.’

Jenna let out the longest held breath ever. Another thing for the Guinness Book of Records. She took her sister’s hand and squeezed. It had worked. It had been worth it. Every worry-fed, catastrophising moment. ‘Better get you dressed up then? Come on.’

---

If anyone was going to pull this off, it was Jenna. Her sweet nature and good intentions had succeeded and won her sister over.

Nick watched in awe. Because, frankly, if anyone had done this to him, he’d have killed them, but Vaughn and Chloe took it in their stride… after the initial shock. It had taken a lot of hedging to get Vaughn here, and it would take some work to get his new friend to trust him again. Still, as Jenna kept saying, it was for their own good.

What did he know? He was just the unpaid hired help. Hot damn, he knew he was more than that. A whole lot more, but if he kept on telling himself that was all he was to Jenna, then maybe that ache in his chest might go away.

He flicked on the music system and breathed a sigh of relief the happy couple weren’t walking down the aisle to “The Lion Sleeps Tonight.” Because, judging by the selection of family and friend tunes, anything could have happened.

But Chloe started to walk down the aisle with Evie at her side to a beautiful love song that set the mood perfectly. Nick knew nothing about wedding dresses but imagined the women here were swooning at the dress Chloe’s mum had made for her. Not one of those long ones with a train halfway down the aisle, it was knee-length, like something from the Great Gatsby. A luminous white. Shimmery. And the little girl’s was cute too. Then, that wasn’t hard for Evie.

His heart twinged. He’d had a glimpse of what it would be like to be a father the other night, and it had made his chest ache more. The breathless wonder of a little girl’s trust, the punch to the solar plexus of pride as she slipped her hand into his, the breath of weight on his feet. Then that giggle…

Gah. He was getting soft. And that was when you stopped assessing the risk, when you forgot about how close you were getting, letting your guard down…. Then the heart hurt blindsided you.

Close on their heels came Jenna. In fifteen minutes, she’d created a miracle with her hair, which was now in sexy, loose curls framing her face, and slipped on a dress in the same style as her sister’s but in a green that matched her eyes. Amazing. Stunning. She had little pearls entwined in her hair. Sparkly, glittery stuff on her face and the smile of someone who knew deep in her heart that she had done a very good thing.

‘Thank you,’ she whispered as she slipped into the space next to him. ‘I couldn’t have done this without you.’

But she could have. She’d have made it happen. She could do anything, she just needed to have a little more faith in herself. He hoped that at least he’d done one good thing and planted a seed of self-love in her. If that grew, she’d be doubly amazing, if that were even possible.

He watched as Vaughn and Chloe made their vows. He heard the break in Chloe’s voice as she told Vaughn she would love him forever. Saw the emotion in Vaughn’s face as he repeated those words back to Chloe, and he meant every word. He saw the small gestures of kindness, the shared intimacy of two people who knew each other and accepted each other wholly. He saw something everlasting and perfect.

He saw kept promises. He saw whole truths. He saw belief in a forever love, and for a moment, he was almost convinced it could happen.

Almost.

He half turned and looked at Jenna, saw the same hope shining in her eyes, the yearning for something like that in her life, and knew she deserved it. More. Everything. Because she’d survived and helped him survive. For that he’d always be indebted to her.

He watched little Evie standing in between the bride and groom, looking up at them one at a time, confident that there was nothing that would sway this love.

Then, she was a child. She knew nothing of hurt and betrayal. She knew nothing of being led to believe you had a family and then to have that cruelly stripped away in front of your colleagues. She knew nothing of watching your friends die and telling them lies to help them go in peace. She didn’t know what he knew. Didn’t know how close to the edge loving someone could take you. Didn’t know how it could raise you up so high you felt you could fly with the angels, and drop you so deep you felt like you were in something worse than Hell.

He wanted to be like Evie, to have faith and hope and belief in love forever. He wanted to be like Jenna and have the courage to let go of the hurt and the pain and allow yourself to take another chance on love again. He wanted to not be the guy who was waiting for it to fall over. Waiting for it to end. Waiting for the bomb or the bombshell. He didn’t want to be that guy. But he was.

And in that moment, as Chloe and Vaughn slipped on their makeshift rings, Nick assessed the risk and knew exactly what he had to do.

---

‘So, you’re not going to kill me?’ Jenna hugged her sister, but stayed just out of bouquet distance, just in case. Most of the guests had gone home now. The dancing had happened and there’d even been speeches; Chloe was always one to get a word in and Vaughn grabbed the chance to talk about his lovely wife.

She could finally relax. It was done, thanks to everyone who’d buoyed her along and helped out. Thanks to Nick who had kept his misgivings silent, even though she saw them in his eyes, and helped her regardless.

As she’d watched the ceremony, she’d had an overwhelming feeling that it was safe to let go, to follow her heart just as her sister had done.

And as she’d seen the luminosity in Chloe’s eyes as she’d said her vows, Jenna had vowed something too; she was going to take a risk and tell Nick how she felt. Not in a demanding way, but in a gentle, caring way. She was going to open her heart to him. She was going to tell him how happy he made her. How she had started to trust him, how she wanted things to move to the next level. Because life was for taking chances.

Just like Chloe, she was in love with her best friend, and she was going to grasp that chance before it was too late, before she regretted holding back. Because one day he may never come home, and she didn’t want to regret a single minute. Not a single second.

‘You are one crazy, out-of-your-mind sister, but no. You’re right, I was scared. I didn’t want to have to do all that again and become an obsessed control freak like last time. You’re forgiven for giving me a near fatal heart attack. Just.’ Chloe gave her a squeeze. ‘And you planned a whole wedding. You’re after my job now?’

‘No fear. I’m sticking to flowers, thanks. The hardest part was getting a celebrant.’

‘Really? I know most of them around here, but this one is…’ They both looked over to the buffet table and saw Andrew the Celebrant chatting to their mother. Or rather, their mother chatting at him. She had her hand on his arm and was smiling up at him and laughing.

She had her hand on a man’s arm. Laughing. Unheard of. ‘Poor bloke, won’t be able to get a word in.’

Chloe’s eyes narrowed. ‘He looks really familiar. I don’t know why, but when I look at him I get a funny feeling… like, of doom. What’s his name again?’

‘Andrew Frame. He’s got a lovely website with a picture of him and a cute little dog in a really well kept garden.’

‘Dog? Andrew… Andrew…’ Chloe squinted over again, and her eyes grew huge. ‘Wait a minute… that’s, oh my God, that’s DrewsAmused.’

‘The online dating guy? The one with the dog he carried round in a bag?’ Jenna’s chest had a weird crushing feeling. That man had been rude to Chloe, and Chloe had snapped back and the date had been a disaster. This had been before Vaughn, in the lead-up to Vaughn, when Chloe had needed a date for a wedding. But she’d described someone who was messy and grubby and depressed. This man was smart and smiling and charming. And he was getting close to their mother. ‘He married you? Oh hells bells, I am so sorry.’

‘Aha. Perfect. Just perfect.’ Chloe’s eyes pigged a little, and then her shoulders started to shake as she hid her face. For a moment, Jenna panicked. Her sister was crying. Shit. Shit, not at her own wedding. It had all gone so well. But when she moved her hands away from her mouth, Chloe was laughing. Hard. ‘You are one in a million, Jenna. Maybe you could fix Mum up with him?’

‘No thank you. I am not matchmaking or organising secret surprises. I’m done. I’m completely done with romance.’

‘Jenna?’ Nick’s hand moulded into the small of her back. The little hairs all over her body prickled to attention. His hand was warm and steady, and she curled slightly into it, craving that hand in other places, doing other things. As soon as possible. And he’d heard her decrying romance?

Bugger. ‘Hey, Nick? I didn’t mean… I like romance… I mean—’

‘Can we talk? Just for a minute?’ He took her gently by the arm. He looked a bit nervous, serious, which was unlike him recently. ‘Can we go outside?’

‘Sure thing.’ Maybe this was her moment to confess her feelings? She slipped her hand into his and they walked outside into the dark. The high street was still buzzing with people on their way out for the night. Laughter and shouts and car horns filled the city air along with hope. ‘Do you want to get a drink, Nick? I’m sure the group will look after Evie for a bit longer. To be honest, there’s something I need to say too.’

He turned to her at that, questions in his eyes, but he looked guarded too. ‘Sure.’

Monosyllabic wasn’t Nick’s usual nature. He was brooding over something, but she couldn’t imagine what. He pushed open the door of the first pub they got to, settled her in a seat with a drink. Maybe she’d done something wrong? Maybe… maybe—goosebumps lifted her skin—maybe he was going to do something special. Say something special. Wedding beget weddings, Chloe often said. Wedding guests got all teary-eyed and romantic. People set the date and made promises at weddings, and not just the bride and groom.

Geez. She was really taking this to another level. Her head screamed, too fast. Too much. Too soon. But her heart was ready. She loved him.

‘I think—’ They both spoke at once.

‘You go.’ He pushed his drink back and forth over the beermat. Nervous.

She wanted him to get it out, to confess whatever it was, to say what he was too nervous to say, so she could tell him she was feeling the same. She smiled. Ready. ‘No. You go first.’

He took her hand. ‘Jenna…’

‘Yes?’ She inhaled and waited.

He smiled, but it was sad and tired and made her heart ache and her stomach tighten, but not in a good way. In fact, safe to say she was scared. ‘These past few weeks, I’ve been thinking in bloody poetry and now I can’t find the right words.’

She wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear what he was struggling to say. So she just sat there with a lump in her throat.

He took a deep breath. ‘This has got to stop, Jenna. I’m sorry. It’s got to stop. I can’t do it.’

‘Whoa.’ She could see the pain behind his eyes. If it hurt so much, why do it? ‘Why? Don’t you like me all of a sudden?’

His mouth lifted at one side and he shook his head. ‘Geez, no. It’s not that. You’re amazing. It’s not you—’

‘Oh, I see. It’s not you, it’s me. Right? Cheesy, Nick. What the hell?’ Surely they were past that? Surely? She’d given him everything. He’d given her so much in return. They were good together, so damned good. He gave her the confidence to try. He made her feel beautiful. And he knew she made him laugh, that she turned him on, that he’d told her things he’d never told another soul. They were better together. She shook her hand out from under his and sat on it so she wouldn’t do something she’d regret with it. He was breaking up this precious thing they had. Breaking her heart.

‘You’re amazing, Jenna, and don’t let anyone tell you any different.’

‘So is it because of Evie?’ Because no one, no one. upset her daughter and got away with it. And she could never love anyone who wouldn’t accept and cherish her little girl.

‘No. I love Evie. She’s great. I just… hell, Jenna. I’m broken and I don’t think I can be fixed. Part of me doesn’t want to be fixed because it’s safer being on my own. I told you before, I’m damaged.’

‘No, you’re not. You’re just looking for excuses. You’ve had a hard time, but you got through.’

‘Yeah? Anyone else would have sat in that beautiful wedding and thought happy thoughts. Me? I just went over and over all the things that could go wrong. I looked at it from all angles, I did a risk assessment and I costed it out.’ His head dipped as if he had a huge weight across his shoulders. ‘Turns out, falling in love is a price I can’t afford to pay. I don’t want to love you. I don’t want to need to be part of your life. I don’t want to stay awake at night and wish I was with you… every single night. I don’t want to feel the things I feel about you. That… that stresses me so much I can’t tell you. Because I keep waiting and waiting and waiting for the fallout.’

He was scared. Running scared. And there was Jenna thinking she was the world’s worst catastrophiser. There was Jenna thinking he was going to propose. Stupid. Foolish. Silly, hopeful woman. To believe she, of all people, could have a second chance? She’d be believing in unicorns next. And the bloody tooth fairy. She certainly didn’t want to believe what he was saying. ‘There doesn’t have to be fallout, Nick. We’re survivors, remember?’

‘You saved me.’ He shook his head. ‘You’re the brave one. You don’t need me. You don’t need anyone. You’re just goddamned fabulous as you are.’

‘Don’t tell me what I need. Who I can fall in love with and who I can’t. Don’t break my heart, Nick. Don’t.’ But the pieces she’d so carefully fitted back together were starting to show cracks. A tight ache started under her ribcage and radiated up to her throat. She fought the tears. She would not cry in front of him.

His head shot up. ‘You love me?’

Risk assessments? No. She took a risk, because that was what this was all about. About putting your heart on the line, and if she expected him to do it, she had to do it too. ‘Yes. Yes, I do love you, Nick Welsh. And you know what? It’s the best thing I’ve done in a bloody long time.’

She waited, silently prayed for him to say the same thing back to her. Take a chance. Be honest and open and true.

He blew out a breath. ‘You only think you love me.’

‘You don’t trust my feelings? You don’t trust me? After everything we’ve shared together?’

‘Of course I trust you.’ He shook his head slowly, eyes hollow and dark. ‘I don’t trust the whole happy ever after thing. You’ll thank me in the long run. I’m protecting you.’

‘From what? A relationship? A chance at happiness? Because I wouldn’t hurt you, not ever.’ A tight knot of anger settled in her gut. ‘All you have to do is let go. Let go of that edge you’re holding on to. Let go, Nick. Let go for me and for Evie. And for yourself.’

He didn’t move. Didn’t speak. He didn’t let go. If anything, his fingers tightened more as he gripped the tabletop.

She suddenly felt unbearably weary. Tired of hoping. Tired of believing better times were ahead. Tired of digging deep and pretending to be all shiny and happy when inside she was rusting and breaking all over again. She scraped her chair back and stood up. ‘I think if two people love each other, they should be brave enough to say it. To fight for it. To build a life with it.’

He stood to face her, clearly torn. Clearly wretched. Clearly stuck. She willed him to hold her, to tell her he was talking rubbish. To tell her he loved her. To fight.

But he didn’t.

There was no going forward with this. And no going back. He loved her, she could see it in every gesture, every look, every thought. But he was too damned scared to believe in it. Or to admit it to either her or himself.

She gave him one more chance and heard him out. ‘You’ve had enough crap in your life, Jenna. I’m just trying to save you from more pain, can’t you see?’

Not enough. Nowhere near enough. She grabbed her coat and bag and started towards the door, her heart in pieces. She looked at him through a blur of tears that she no longer had the strength to fight. She wanted the safety of her mum’s arms, her sister’s smile, her daughter’s hugs. But even then, she knew they wouldn’t be able to take away this hurt. He had no bloody clue. Saving her from pain? Ha. ‘Too bloody late, Nick. Too bloody late.’