Chapter Fourteen

Owen

“GIRLS, BE CAREFUL!” HE yelled. Nadia squeezed his hand, and he looked down at her. She was a beautiful sight to behold. Wind-blown hair, lips slightly dewy from some coconut lip balm she liked to use, all dressed up in old, faded jeans that made her ass look great and her legs long, while the simple bright red of her sleeveless tank top made it feel like he couldn’t stop looking at her.

“They’re fine, Owen.” She winked at him. His heart, along with his gut, clenched. Not only was she gorgeous, she was all brightness and goodness, and he was so damn thankful he had this moment.

He had been with them in Santa Barbara for a week. Every morning started in a flurry of activities. By Tuesday, the second full weekday, he had a greater appreciation for everything she did. She made getting the girls ready and balancing what activity they were off to that day look seamless. Hell, if it had been left to him, he would have probably mixed up the days and somehow forgotten where he had taken them.

Not Nadia, though.

Nadia had it all under control. All week, each new day, she impressed him. She knew exactly where the girls went, never hesitating or questioning if she was right, having their clothes, lunches, and supplies ready. Regardless of whether it was art camp or sailing classes, she had it all under control. If that wasn’t enough on her plate, the bathroom demolition and renovation had simply continued.

“They are walking far ahead of us,” he pointed out, pursing his lips. She simply shook her head, leaning the side of her face on his shoulder as they walked down the pier. He didn’t have to look at her to know that she was smiling. It was humbling. Everything she did. How he had taken it for granted and had shrugged off what she had done these last couple of years at home. She amazed him.

“Kitchen demo starts Monday,” she changed the subject, and he sighed, the girls about twenty feet ahead of them.

“The girls…”

“Aren’t toddlers anymore, baby,” she teased. His jaw clenched. He tried not to take it personally. He knew they weren’t toddlers anymore. He tried to remember them doing something like this, a simple walk together in the past, but he couldn’t remember. But he knew that she had done that countless times with them. “Hey…” She stopped them, and he looked at her. “What’s going on?”

“We’ve never done this.”

“What?”

“Taken a walk. Like a family. Like we are, just…anywhere.”

“That’s not true. We went to Disneyland,” she reminded him. His scowl deepened. He had left them early when he had been called back into the hospital. Anytime they’d planned things, he’d either cancelled, wishing them the best of times, or had needed to leave early.

“I left early,” he reminded her, hating how damn pathetic he had been. All the things he had missed out on. That his family hadn’t had because he simply had not been there.

“But you were there.”

“Right.” He was holding his body tightly, hating how much he had messed up.

“Hey.” She tried to soothe him, but he couldn’t get himself to look at her.

“Owen, look at me,” she gently asked him, and he did. The Pacific Ocean below the pier in one of the most beautiful places their state had, and she was still all he ever wanted to gaze at. “We are here now. We talked about all our issues and what we want to change and work on. We are doing it. Right here, right now, we are working on us. All we can do is keep moving forward. One step at a time,” she reminded him. He nodded before pulling her into his body and holding her tightly. He could hear his girls approaching, their giggles the second-best sound he’d ever heard aside from their mother’s voice.

“I’m gonna work hard so one day you don’t even remember the bad shit between us, Nadia,” he vowed seriously, and her dark eyes glistened with moisture, tears his strong girl would never let herself shed.

“Why would I want that?” she surprised him by asking. “Knowing we had those bad times will make the good ones even sweeter.” Without thinking, his lips crushed onto hers and he kissed her until he heard their daughters’ giggles and teasing clearly.

Pulling away, leaving her breathlessly staring back him with heated eyes, he moved his hand up the side of her face. “I guess I’m going to have to give you a lifetime of sweet, then.”

Nadia

Back home, I found myself in our bathroom putting moisturizer on my face and looking at the mirror. I had tanned more than I usual did this last week. Being out in the sun almost daily did that to you under the southern California sun.

The last week had been perfect.

To an outsider looking in, it would have seemed busy and hectic. Just the way life usually was with us, but not. Owen had been at my side, our side, the entire time. Working on the guest bathroom, helping with the girls and dinners. Even so, I couldn’t seem to shake off the concern that had started to bubble up on the pier after Owen and I talked. I would have thought our conversation would have set both our minds at ease, but in trying to soothe him, it seemed I had worked myself into a tizzy.

“Hey! There you are.” He snapped me out my thoughts. My hands dropped from my neck to my sides and I tried to smile genuinely at him.

“Here I am.”

“What’s up?” Owen asked. I could see the worry in his eyes, but I simply shook my head.

“Nothing…” Guilt immediately ate at me. He had been working alongside me the entire week, working on us. Communicating with me, giving me him, and I was up to my same old crap of sweeping things under the rug.

“Nadia,” he pressed. I opened then closed my mouth and frowned. “What is it?” he asked, closing us into our bathroom. I heard the distinct sound of the door locking behind him.

“This week has been…” I started to say but shook my head. “It’s exactly what I needed. Us. You…”

“Okay,” he cautiously responded, and I frowned. I wasn’t making any sense.

“We have three weeks left and…” My throat felt like it was closing in on me and suddenly breathing wasn’t second nature. What if it isn’t enough time? What if we returned and all this effort was for nothing? What if what we had was unfixable? What if we simply went back to how things were?

“Shh...” he started to soothe me, pulling me into his embrace, my face in his cotton-covered chest.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, ignoring the wetness at my eyes and how I couldn’t seem to make it stop. “I’m such a phony.”

“What?”

“You’ve been working hard to get things to change, yet I start to bottle up and building walls…” I told him, but he ran his fingers through my hair. Soothing tingles rushed through my body, and I all too easily relaxed in his arms.

“Shhh,” he comforted me. “You talked to me. You didn’t bottle it up,” he gently reminded me.

“I would have if you hadn’t called me on it,” I mumbled mid-sniffle and felt his arms tighten around me, making me feel safe.

Anchored.

“You would have told me, and, baby, just saying, I didn’t have to push a whole bunch,” he sweetly pointed out. I pulled away from his chest, finding myself easily lost in the beautiful green pools of his eyes.

He really believed what he was saying to me.

He believed in me.

As much as I believed in him.

“Owen?”

“Yeah, baby?” His hands in my hair felt good. He soothed and unknowingly turned me on. I fought from moaning into his touch, suddenly finding myself horny and needy. The last week, we had messed around, getting each other off with hands and mouths, but he hadn’t let us go all the way. I was done.

I needed more tonight.

“The girls asleep?” I asked, running my hands up and down his chest, his strength radiating off him.

“Yeah.”

“Good.” I pulled away from him, my back slightly hitting the vanity, but I ignored it. Staring into his confused eyes, I pulled my top up and over my head, along with taking off my pants. Standing in front of him with nothing but a teal lace thong I had picked out especially for tonight.

“What are you doing, Nadia?”

“If you don’t know what I’m doing, it really has been too long.” I smirked, trying to tap down my nerves.

“Is my girl feeling in the mood to play?” His lips quirked up. I laughed.

“No.” I shook my head. He tilted his, his eyes intense and hungry on me. “No more games, Owen.”

“Nadia—”

“I need you.” I’d hardly spoken the words when he moved faster than I had ever seen. One moment there was space between us, and the next his hands were lifting me up and onto the vanity. The intense way Owen looked at me made my heart rate pick up, my entire body hot and needy.

“You sure?” he asked. I moved both my hands to his shoulder and wrapped them around his neck, my fingers playing with the short dark, slightly peppery strands on the back of his head.

“It wasn’t me holding off, Owen,” I reminded him. His forehead touched mine, his eyes shut, like he was trying to talk himself out of giving me what we both wanted. Hell, what we both needed.

“I fucking love you, Nadia,” he declared hoarsely.

“I fucking love you, too,” I repeated with a smile, and when he opened his eyes, I couldn’t read what was staring back at me.

“If I take you now, I don’t think I can be gentle.” And just like that, my pretty thong was ruined. A thrill shot down my spine.

“I don’t want gentle.” I panted, my cheeks reddened.

“What do you want?” he asked, his hands gripping me tightly.

“Everything you, and only you, can give me,” I answered honestly and gasped when he picked me up, my legs wrapping around his waist.

With me in his arms, he somehow managed to smoothly unlock the bathroom door. I licked my lips, hornier with every second that ticked by as he carried me like I weighed nothing at all. He took us right to our bed that was still just a box spring and mattress lying on the floor. He used to carry me around like this all the time; the memory made me smile instead of ache for the time lost.

“What’s that look about?” he asked, and I realized he had stopped and his eyes were searching mine.

“I love you. I love you more today than yesterday but not as much as tomorrow,” I blurted out. I used to say that all the time to him. But I had stopped. Before the girls were even born. Instead of dwelling, I made a silent promise to remind him every day.

“Good. Because you’re stuck with me,” his voice rasped with emotion, and as silly as it was, it made my heart full and my eyes fill with happy tears.

We weren’t perfect, not by a long shot, but we weren’t lost.

We had something worth fighting for.