Chapter Twenty-Six – Little Brothers
Are A Pain In The Ass
Blake
“So?” Luke asks as he sits on the chair across from me. After I left Carly’s yesterday, I went to the crappy apartment and grabbed what few things I was keeping. I was ready to close that chapter of my life. When I took the undercover assignment, we knew it could be quite a while before the job was done. So, I sublet my apartment and stored all of my old furniture and clothes in my parents’ shed. The stuff in the apartment I’ve lived in for the past two years is old hand-me-down crap that I picked up to help me play the part. And that part is done.
“So what?” I ask, not giving him one inch.
“Are you gonna play dumb with me? You show up at my house yesterday with my Tahoe filled with your crap–that I had to unload, might I add–before passing out in my guest room. You haven’t left all day, which tells me that going to Carly’s isn’t an option for you. I take it she didn’t take the news too well. So, what happened?” Luke asks as he takes a pull from his beer bottle.
“No, she didn’t take it well,” I tell him, rubbing the back of my neck with my hand. “She did exactly what I was afraid she’d do. Exactly what I hoped she wouldn’t.”
“So why are you here, sulking on my couch?” he asks, smug smile across his face. Asshole.
“I’m not sulking. I’m giving her space. And the thought of going to Mom and Dad’s wasn’t all that appealing. So I decided to grab your guest room before you could tell me no,” I reply, taking the final drink of my own beer.
“It’s yours as long as you need it. You know that,” he says with a pointed look. Yeah, I knew my brother wouldn’t have a problem with me crashing with him until I figure out how to return to the human race and secure my own place.
After several minutes of silence, I finally say, “I told her I loved her.”
Luke’s eyebrows rise heavenward. “Really?”
“Yeah, I told her everything I could about her dad and who I was, and that I was in love with her. She didn’t take it well,” I mumble, not really liking the bitter taste in my mouth.
“Wait. You told her that you loved her after you told her all that other crap?” I look up at Luke and his face is full of shock. It’s like I’d suddenly grown a second head.
“Yeah, so?”
“You fucking idiot. You don’t lay all that crap on her and then tell her you love her. No wonder she didn’t believe you, shit-for-brains. You always lead with the dramatic love confession. That way she’s all buttered up for when you drop the bomb. If you do it the way you did, she’ll think you’re only saying it because she’s mad and it’s your last resort.”
I stare at my younger brother. It’s like I don’t even know him anymore. “Have you been watching the Hallmark Channel while I was away?” I ask him, not understanding how my brother, who hates relationships, suddenly became some sort of expert on the topic.
“No,” he says, squirming in the chair. “My point is that you did it backwards. No wonder she doesn’t believe you.”
“Wait. Go back to the words of wisdom by the great Luke Thomas. Where did you learn all that shit? Unless you’ve been hiding a relationship, how in the hell do you know what’s the right way and wrong way to behave?”
Luke lets out a frustrated growl before getting up to get us each another beer. I’m not about to let him off the hook this easy, so I wait him out, letting my eyes follow every move he makes. “Fine. When I was younger, Sidney always made me watch these girly movies on television.”
“Sidney, the neighbor girl?” I’m flabbergasted that he even spent any amount of time with the girl. From what I remember, Luke used to pick on her and tease her relentlessly from the first day she moved in until the moment he went off to college.
“Yes, that Sidney. She used to give me these big sad eyes every time I wanted to watch an action movie, so I always relented and let her pick.” Luke shrugs his shoulder as if it’s no big deal. This is a huge deal.
“But I thought you hated her?” I ask, suddenly wondering if there was more to Luke’s feelings for Sidney than I originally thought.
“No, I didn’t hate her. She was a brat who followed me around all the time. Sometimes I couldn’t get away from her so I just conceded and let her hang with me. Nothing happened,” he defends with too much force, instantly making me think that something did, in fact, happen.
I stare at my brother for several minutes. His green eyes remain locked on mine, neither of us ready to concede defeat. The room remains quiet for another ten minutes. Yeah, we’re both stubborn enough to keep the mind games going for as long as it takes. I have no desire to let him off the hook. Plus, when we’re both silent, we’re not discussing the mess I made of my love life.
Finally, Luke speaks. “I promised Mom that we’d come over for dinner tomorrow.”
The groan erupting from my lips takes me by surprise. It’s not that I’m not happy about seeing my family for the first time in months, but I’d really like nothing more than to lick my wounds for a few more days before having to face my mom.
“You should be thanking me. If I hadn’t told her we’d be over for dinner tomorrow night, she would have been here yesterday before you even had the keys out of the ignition. I told her you needed to catch up on your sleep, but that you’d have dinner to catch up with them.”
“Thanks,” I mumble to my brother. Even if he is being an ass, he definitely was looking out for me in this respect. “Anything else on Styx?” I ask, anxious to know the creep is behind bars where he belongs.
“Nothing definitive. We’ve had two reports of possible sightings along I-15, which tells us he may be heading towards Los Angeles. One of his aliases has an LA address so we’re thinking he’s heading towards his old stomping grounds. Highway Patrol has stepped up their search for him. We’ll find him, brother,” Luke says with a firm head nod.
After a little more comfortable silence, I finally say, “Let’s order Chinese takeout and find a bloody action movie on television.” Maybe watching something blow up will get my mind off the fact that my life imploded yesterday. I long to call Carly, to hear her voice. I want to drive over there and beat on her door until she opens up and lets me in. I want to hold my little girl and reassure her that her Daddy isn’t going anywhere.
Instead, I sit here on my brother’s couch.
And so I spend my first Friday night as a regular civilian again having Chinese takeout and watching Die Hard–with my brother.
* * *
“My baby!” my mom hollers from the open front door, arms extended in the standard Mom greeting.
“Hey, Mom. I missed you guys,” I say just before I’m enveloped in a fierce hug filled with tears and sobs of joy. Her familiar perfume fills my senses as I hug her back. Warmth and contentment wash through me. My mom can be a little overzealous at times, but she’s still my mom and I love her.
“Son,” my dad says just before shaking my hand. I’d be lying if I said the tears I see in his eyes didn’t affect me. Not tears of joy or sorrow, but tears of pride.
“Hi, Dad.” I clasp his hand and pull him into a big hug.
“Come on,” Mom says after releasing Luke from a death grip. “Dinner is ready.”
Inside the dining room, the table is already set for four. I pull up my usual chair across from Luke as Mom delivers a roast with potatoes to the dinner table. I haven’t had Mom’s cooking in ages. My stomach growls loudly and my mouth waters as she brings a green bean casserole and sweet rolls.
“So, Blake, anything you want to share with the ol’ parents?” Luke says with a smug grin across the table. If looks could kill, my dear little brother would be bleeding to death on my mom’s expensive rug at this exact moment.
My parents both look from him to me expectantly. You could hear a pin drop in the room as everyone waits to hear whatever is going on. Not exactly how I wanted to tell my parents about their granddaughter, but I guess it will do.
“I have news,” I tell them before taking a big gulp of ice water. There’s no easy way to do this. Just rip the band-aid off. “Mom, Dad, you have a granddaughter.” For several seconds, my announcement is accompanied by silence before being quickly followed by laughter.
“Oh, Blake. That’s not a very funny joke,” my mom scoffs as my dad tries to get his fits of delight under control. Luke smiles broadly at me from across the table. Bastard.
“I’m not joking,” I tell them, looking from left to right until they both see the seriousness in my face and hear it in my voice. “I have a daughter. Her name is Natalia, and she’s fifteen months old.”
“You’re serious?” Dad asks, his mouth gaping open.
“As a heart attack,” I confirm as I gulp the rest of my water.
“Why in the world are we just now learning this, Blake Andrew?” my mom asks, the confusion written all over her face.
“I didn’t know it myself until recently. I met a woman, Carly, two years back right before I went undercover. Without getting into any details, I spent one night with her and we agreed to part ways. While I was undercover, I reconnected with her and learned that I have a beautiful little girl. She has the darkest hair, the color of midnight. She has big curls in her hair just like I did when I was younger, and her eyes are the same green as ours,” I say looking at my dad. That’s where Luke and I get our bright green eyes.
“I was a little shocked, to say the least, but I instantly fell in love with her. She’s perfect in every single way,” I tell them, unable to keep the pride out of my voice.
“That’s wonderful, son. I’m sorry we thought you were joking, but it’s not like you’ve ever talked about a girlfriend or anything.” My dad smiles broadly, excitement evident in his sparkling eyes.
Mom takes a drink of her white wine. “I have a granddaughter? Really?” she asks, her eyes twinkling with delight.
“Yes. You’ll love her.”
“We already do,” my dad adds.
“When do we get to meet our granddaughter?” Mom asks with a eloquent look.
“Soon, I promise,” I say, hoping I can keep it. I haven’t talked to Carly since I left her apartment Thursday morning. I’m giving her the space she has requested, but I’m about at the end of my rope. I’m about to run in there, both guns blazing.
“So, her mother. Carly, is it?” my mom asks before diving back into her dinner. Luke grins from across the table, which results in a swift kick from my steel-toed boot straight into his shin. The grunt brings me a little satisfaction.
“Yes, her name is Carly.”
“Tell me, what kind of woman sleeps with a man she doesn’t know?” Mom asks, her tone anything but pleasant. Accusing. Critical.
“Mom, it’s not like that. There was something different about her that first night we met. The only reason I walked away was because I was going undercover the next morning. I couldn’t exactly start a relationship with someone on the outside, could I?” I’m instantly irritated that my mom is judging Carly. She’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met, and I’m not about to let my mother degrade what we shared. “I made the choice. I walked away. Not because I wanted to, but because I had to. If it weren’t for that damn job, I would have woken up that morning, taken her to breakfast, and never let her go. I would have been with her every step of the way through her pregnancy. She would be here right now.” My voice comes off clipped. I’m aggravated at her line of questioning, but mostly because I want nothing more than to have Carly and Natalia here with me at this exact moment.
“Sounds like you love her, son,” my father states very matter-of-factly, the ghost of a smile on his aging face.
“I do.”
“Then where is she?” my mother asks, her tone instantly pissing me off all over again.
“Trying to decide if she wants to see me again. For the past month, I’ve lied to her. It was to protect her and myself, but lies nonetheless. She found out the other day that I was the man responsible for her father’s incarceration. She found out that I’m not the man I said I was. Carly has a lot to process right now, and I just pray that at the end of it, she finds it in her heart to forgive me.” What little dinner is left on my plate turns cold and inedible.
“What does her father have to do with this?” my dad asks, all food at the table completely forgotten.
When I’m finished telling them what I can about the case and how it affects Carly, neither of them speak. Everyone, including Luke, seems to be lost in his or her own thoughts. My cell phone chimes in my pocket, which is a welcome reprieve. I politely excuse myself from the table and step into the living room. When I open the screen, I see a text from the woman I can’t stop thinking about.
Carly: Tomorrow is Halloween. I’m taking Nat to the festival on Broadway if you want to join us. 2pm.
I quickly type as fast as my fingers will allow.
Me: I’ll be there. Tell me where to meet you.
Her response is instantaneous.
Carly: Corner of Broadway and Jackson.
Me: I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Thank you, Carly. See you tomorrow.
This response comes several heartbeats later. For as long as it took her to type it, I was expecting a longer message.
Carly: You’re welcome
I’m suddenly ready to go home–or back to Luke’s place–and get to bed. The sooner I get to bed and sleep, the sooner it’ll be before I see Carly and Natalia again. I’m not sure if she invited me primarily because I’m Nat’s father, or if she invited me because she misses me. I’d like to think it’s a combination of both. But tonight, I’m going to hang on to the fact that she invited me at all. That’s the lifeline she’s dangling in front of me and I’m going to hang onto it with all I have.
Being without her and Natalia isn’t an option.