Chapter Thirty-One –What The Hell
Did He Just Say?
Carly
I’m stunned silent. I can’t move. Blake just said that he loved me–again–and said we were going to get married. But what I don’t know is if that’s how he really feels or if it’s the high dose of painkillers mixed with a touch of delirium talking. And the worst part is that he’s already passed back out so I can’t even tell him that I love him, too. Doesn’t that just bite the big one?
Dr. Sanders comes up to the bed with a smile on his face. “I hear Mr. Thomas has woken up,” he says.
“Yes, for a little bit,” I reply, slowly getting up and out of Blake’s hospital bed. I mourn the loss of his body instantly as cool air replaces what once was peppered with Blake’s heat.
“That’s a great sign. Luke says he was talking coherently and didn’t seem to have any confusion,” Doc says as he lifts Blake’s eyelids and shines a light in his eyes.
“No, he seemed to be in his right mind,” I confirm. Or was he?
“Though I have to say that I’m not sure proposing right now means he’s in his right mind,” Luke adds laughing, vocalizing the point I was just thinking.
“Well, it’s not my first marriage proposal. There’s something about life or death that makes people truly consider where they see their life heading. Why don’t you two step out into the hall so I can check Blake over,” Doc says.
Stepping into the hall, I’m quiet as I ponder all that has happened in the last twenty-four hours. Hell, in the last few days. Weeks. Years. Two very long years.
“Do you think he meant it?” I ask Luke because I can’t seem to settle my mind long enough to really wrap it around all that he said.
“You mean about loving you and wanting to marry you?” His eyes are the exact same color as Blake’s, though Luke has more of a boyish appearance. Blake appears to be much older than the two years he has on Luke. It’s as if he grew up way before his time.
I can’t seem to get the words out to answer his question so I just nod enthusiastically.
“He meant every bit of it. Carly, he’s been a mess these last few days. The thought of losing you and maybe even Natalia weighed him down like never before. I don’t want to plead his case because that’s something for you two to talk about, but he hasn’t been the same. Years ago, he took an oath and for the first time in his life, he was torn between doing his job and doing what was right by you. He made the only decision he felt that he could, and I’m sure it was the hardest thing he’s ever done. But don’t take that one act as anything less than what it was: his need to do the right thing in the big picture. It killed him to have to lie to you about it, but it killed him more when you walked away.”
“I know that he did what he had to do.”
“He did. The only thing that kept him going, that kept him from giving up and quitting, was knowing that he was doing something worthwhile. When he found out Roman was your father, it twisted his mind into a damn pretzel. I’ve never seen him like that. He knew he would ultimately be hurting you, but he couldn’t quit. He couldn’t stop. He had put in two years on that job with thousands of other man hours devoted to it.”
“I understand all of that. I’m not angry with him anymore, Luke. I think I stopped being angry the moment I stepped inside of my apartment and he drove away. I just had to take a few days to get things figured out for myself. But do you know what the first thing I realized was?” Luke doesn’t answer, just shakes his head from side to side.
“I realized that I was in love with him with everything I have and that letting him walk away would be the biggest mistake of my life.”
“Well, I’m glad to know you are both on the same page then. Make sure you tell him that as soon as he wakes up,” Luke suggests with a bright smile.
“I will. Promise.”
We’re pulling apart from our brief hug when Dr. Sanders steps back out and runs through Blake’s assessment. Hopefully, tomorrow he’ll be discharged home where he can work on recovering from his gunshot wound.
Inside the room, the lights are dim as Blake sleeps soundly in bed. Luke and I make small talk for about an hour before a knock sounds at the door. I recognize the man and woman instantly as Blake’s parents. I met them briefly yesterday, but I was so out of it with worry that I didn’t make for good company.
“Come on in,” Luke says, getting up from his chair. The woman has short pristine brown hair, cut in the perfect bob. Her blue eyes sparkle like diamonds in the sky, and she’s only as big as a minute. The man next to her is well over six feet tall like the boys. His striking green eyes are friendly and his hair is a dark salt and pepper color. For as put together as they both appear, you can still see the exhaustion in their faces and the worry in their smiles.
“How is he?” Blake’s mom asks to Luke while giving him a warm hug.
“He’s good. He woke up about an hour ago for a little bit. The doc says he’ll probably sleep most of the rest of the day while his body recovers from the gunshot and surgery.”
“Oh, thank God he’s going to be alright,” she says while wiping a stray tear from her cheek.
“I’m sorry, we’re being rude,” Mr. Thomas says as he walks over to where I stand next to Blake’s bed. “I know we met yesterday, but it wasn’t under the best of circumstances. I’m Blake’s father, Dan. And that’s my wife, Janice.”
“Yes, I remember. It’s very nice to meet you both again,” I reply as I shake both of their hands. I try to school my features as much as possible so that they can’t see how nervous I really am. I’ve never been in this type of relationship before. I’ve never really met the parents. Especially someone I’m linked so closely with, as sharing a child. That alone makes me want to run from the room screaming. Of course, I won’t. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to.
Janice looks me over several times, taking in my rumpled clothes that I slept in last night. I’m sure my hair is a fright and what’s left of my makeup is smeared all over the undersides of my eyes. With the chaos and emotions of the emergency room and waiting room yesterday, I’m sure I’m making a wonderful impression on Blake’s family.
“So, it’s my understanding that my son is the father of your child,” Janice says cooly.
“Mom,” Luke states, the warning very clear.
“I’m just conversing with the mother of my granddaughter, Luke. Trying to understand what has led to this moment in our lives.” Janice turns and looks back at me. “To say we were surprised the other night when Blake shared his news is an understatement. We just wanted to get to know you and maybe have a few questions answered. We have yet to even meet our granddaughter.”
“Not now, Mom,” Blake mumbles without opening his eyes.
“Oh, Blake, you’re awake!” Janice exclaims before rushing to his bedside and grabbing his hand. I can tell she adores both of her sons, but she seems a little over the top. I hate to judge her without even knowing her, but she appears to be a little overzealous when it comes to her sons.
“I’m awake, and I want you to leave Carly alone. What happened to get us to where we are now doesn’t matter anymore. The only thing that matters is that we’re together now and will be for a long time. Forever, actually. As soon as I get out of here, I’m going to marry her.” He says it so matter-of-factly that all I can do is blink, mouth gaping wide open. Blake’s eyes remain closed, though. In fact, he has yet to move.
“You’re getting married?” she asks in surprise before turning and looking at me. All I can do is stare. The only sound I make is a weird inaudible squeak.
“Yep. As soon as I can get out of this bed, we’re getting married.” It has to be the drugs talking. No way did he just tell his parents–parents that I just met for the first time yesterday–that we’re getting married as soon as possible.
“Well, I’d say congratulations are in order,” Dan says with a bright smile. I can see where the boys each get their charm. He winks at me and goes to pull his wife off Blake. Her death grip on his hand surely isn’t helping him any.
“Oh, yes. Congratulations,” she says as if in a daze.
“Where is my beautiful fiancée?” Blake asks, raising his hand for me to grab. When I glance over at Luke, he’s wearing the matching ornery grin his father sports.
Hesitantly, I take a few steps back towards Blake and take ahold of his hand. My racing heart instantly calms down with just the slightest touch. I’ve never experienced any sort of connection to anyone that I’ve shared with Blake these past few weeks. Hell, since that first night we spent together. Our connection was undeniable. It was pure and raw. It was destiny stepping in. My destiny.
“I love you,” he mumbles as if he can’t stop himself from saying it as often as possible. The fact that he says it so comfortably while his family is in his hospital room doesn’t go unnoticed by anyone in the room.
Crouching down next to his head, I whisper the three little words I’ve wanted to say forever. “I love you, too.”
My statement is met with green eyes as he opens them for the first time since waking up. “Say it again.”
“I love you,” I tell him confidently. His smile could light up the entire hospital.
“That’s all I needed to hear,” he says before bringing my hand up to his mouth and kissing our linked fingers.
A knock at the door interrupts our moment. Assuming it’s the doctor or nurse coming back in to check Blake’s vitals, I don’t turn around until I hear one word that clearly doesn’t come from the nurse.
“Da da!” Natalia exclaims from my mom’s arms.
Blake and I both look to the doorway to see my mom hesitantly entering the room. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know there would be so many visitors. I hope it’s okay that I brought her. Someone has missed her mommy and daddy.”
Blake lets go of my hand as I make my way over to my mom and reach for our daughter. Even just one night away is difficult when you’ve raised her solo for the past year. I quickly give Natalia a big hug, but it’s not me that she’s trying to get to. She’s pushing away from me, trying to get out of my arms and over to Blake.
“Come here, baby girl,” Blake says. Natalia’s face lights up like the Fourth of July as she reaches for her dad.
“You’ve got to be careful, sweetie. Daddy has a big ouchy.” Natalia is practically clawing at my arms to get on the bed. I gingerly set her down on his good side, making sure the railing is up and she can’t fall out of bed. She settles instantly against his side, cradled in his good arm. As if settling into our nightly routine, I grab the remote that has sat unused on the bedside table for the past twenty-four hours and turn on cartoons. They both lie there, content as can possibly be, while watching Dora the Explorer together.
When I look up, Blake’s parents are staring. Dan’s smile never falters as he takes in his own son with his granddaughter. Janice appears to be in too much shock. Her wide blue eyes taking in the scene playing out in the bed before her.
“She’s beautiful,” she whispers. I catch the first of many tears leak from her eyes.
“She looks just like her mom,” Blake says before turning and looking at me. His eyes tell me everything I need to know. I can see his love for me and for our daughter shining brighter than any star in the sky.
“Mom, this is Janice and Dan Thomas, Blake’s parents. And this is his brother, Luke. This is my mother, Georgia.” I turn back to Blake’s parents and say, “And this is your granddaughter, Natalia.”
Our parents jump easily into conversation as they carry on as if they’d known each other for years, not minutes. After about thirty minutes, Blake’s eyes start to get heavy again. But when I look over at our daughter, I see that hers are as well. I offered to take her several times so that he can rest comfortably, but he won’t have it. Blake continues to snuggle with Nat, throwing in the occasional comment into conversations floating around us.
“We should be going so that Blake can rest,” Dan says. He leans over and gives his son a gentle hug. “Glad you’re okay, son.” Before he stands up, he places a tender kiss on the almost-sleeping Natalia’s forehead.
“Thanks, Dad,” Blake whispers. “As soon as I’m up and moving around more, we’ll all come over for dinner so you can get to know your granddaughter.”
“We’d like that,” Janice says as she steps up to the bed. Ever since she caught sight at Natalia, she has seemed calmer, friendlier. Her earlier cold veneer was replaced with something warmer and pleasant. “We’ll see you soon,” she says while giving Blake a kiss on his cheek, followed by one to Natalia. Her hand lingers on Nat’s full head of dark curls as she gazes adoringly at the now-sleeping toddler.
“I love you, sweet baby girl,” she whispers to Natalia, just loud enough that I can hear. Blake looks up at me with the hint of a smile. I imagine he’s as happy as I am that his mother took to her grandchild as quickly as we could have only hoped.
When Janice stands up, tears shine brightly in her eyes. “We’d love to have you all over as soon as you’re able. We have a little time to catch up on,” she adds with a warm smile. Stepping towards me, she extends her arms and gives me a gentle hug. I’m shocked speechless, yet ultimately grateful that Janice has warmed up to Natalia and me so quickly. The thought of her having any underlying issues with me would only strain the relationship Blake has with his mother, and that is something I definitely don’t want.
“I’m out, too,” Luke says while going over and giving his brother a pat on his good arm–which is wrapped around his sleeping daughter. Luke also bends down and kisses his niece’s forehead before walking over to me. “Take care of him,” he whispers against the side of my head.
“I will. Promise.”
“I’m going to take her back to my place and let her get more sleep,” my mom says before walking to the bed.
Gingerly, Blake leans down and kisses Natalia’s head before my mom picks up her placid body. “Georgia, I’m going to marry your daughter. I hope you’re okay with that.” His words are steady, but my heart and breathing are anything but. I all but choke on the very air I’m trying to inhale into my lungs.
How does this man know exactly what to say to melt my heart and break away any remaining defenses I may possess? Every time he opens his mouth, I think I fall deeper and truer in love with him. He’s possessive and bossy, yet so sweet and caring. He treats both Natalia and me as if we’re rare gems that he’s treasuring with everything he has and everything that he is. It’s a heady feeling to know that all of his love and adoration is for us.
“Nothing would make me happier,” Mom says with a smile before stepping out the door.
I close the door behind them and the room is instantly quiet again. For the past twenty-four hours, this room has been silent as Luke and I both kept vigil by his bedside. Now, he’s watching me with glossy eyes as I walk back towards the bed.
“Come here, you. You’re not sleeping in the chair tonight. I need to hold you in my arms. Arm,” he corrects with the hint of a smile. At least he can smile about the fact that he was shot the day before.
Even with the fear that I might hurt him, I still give in to my desire to be as close as humanly possible, given the circumstances. Mirroring the same position Natalia was in moments ago, I rest my head against Blake’s good shoulder and sigh deeply.
“I wasn’t kidding, Carly. I know I probably shocked you silent earlier, but I’m going to marry you. As soon as I possibly can. I can’t wait any longer. I’ve wanted to be with you from that first night we spent together over two years ago. The hardest thing I’ve ever done was walk away from you that night. That night was life altering for me. I wasn’t the same after it. That was the night I fell hopelessly in love with you. That was the night we created a miracle. We created our daughter. And I want to create more just like her. I want everything with you because you are everything to me. Do you want that, too?”
“More than anything,” I choke out over the lump in my throat.
“Good, because I wasn’t letting you go anyway. You’re stuck with me now. Forever.”
“Forever.”
I snuggle in closer and let my eyelids flutter closed. This is heaven, right here. Wrapped up in his arms with his warm breath fanning out across the top of my head. Nothing will ever compare to the way I feel with him, the way he makes me feel inside.
I’m finally home.