“She is probably in shock, Evan.” Charlotte tries to explain why Sienna didn’t want to see me. Vanessa and Derrick both couldn’t meet my eyes when they stepped out of her room ushering everyone back to the hotel. I’m so confused; I thought she would want to see me? Shit, maybe she’s disfigured and doesn’t think I will love her? No way in the world would that happen.
“Or maybe she is just dosed up on drugs and isn’t thinking clearly?” Blake adds.
Scrubbing my hands over my face, I don’t know what to think anymore. I hate being this close to her and not being able to touch her.
***
Sienna has tests for most of the day and it’s non-visiting hours so we are hanging around at the hotel.
“Why don’t you guys go out, I’m just going to hang here,” I tell Charlotte and Blake.
Charlotte gives me a frown. “I’m not leaving you, Evan.”
“I’m okay Char. Honestly, I want to be alone.”
“I could kill for a croissant,” Blake adds, grabbing Charlotte’s attention.
“Fine, but I will be back later to check on you, okay?”
Finally, I was alone sitting in the living room staring off over the rooftops of Pairs thinking about Sienna and how close I came to losing her. After a couple of beers, I realize she needs to see me. Sienna needs to know that I am here for her. Grabbing my wallet I head out, passing Sammy, my bodyguard, on the way. “I’m going back to the hospital, can you take me?” He nods and we make our way down to the lobby.
Non visiting hours were just about over by the time I got to the hospital and approached Sienna’s room. I see a nurse step out of her room.
“Can I see her?” I ask.
The young nurse’s eyes widen when she sees who is asking the question.
“Of course,” she smiles, looking a little flustered.
I open the door and see Sienna resting in bed looking fragile and pale; she hasn’t noticed me yet. I can see the white cast around her left arm. Her beautiful face marked with blue and black bruising from the accident. She’s staring at a white piece of paper lost in her thoughts. I move further into her room hoping she will notice me.
“Evan,” she gasps, dropping the piece of paper, panicking as the paper flutters to the ground. The machine behind her starts to beep uncontrollably as she tries to manoeuvre herself out of her bed to get the piece of paper.
“Sienna, don’t move, let me get it,” I offer, as I rush forward towards the paper.
“Evan, no,” Sienna screams.
Ignoring her, I bend down and pick it up. Looking at that piece of paper, my heart starts to thump, my world tilting on its axis. The grainy black and white image of a jelly bean tells me Sienna is pregnant.
“Evan,” Sienna whispers.
Looking up at Sienna I see her tears falling down her face, my stomach sinking. She is pregnant.
“I just found out, Evan. I was going to tell you. I just didn’t know how as I’m shocked myself with the news. That’s why I couldn’t see you today.”
Fuck, my whole world is spinning.
“Is it mine?” I question, looking down at the piece of paper, my finger touching the little jelly bean.
“How fucking dare you,” Sienna spits at me.
Her tone pulls me away from my thoughts; her face is red with anger. Fuck, I just said the wrong thing. “No, that’s not what I meant, Sienna,” I say, rubbing my head as the shock sets in. I’m going to be a dad. “You caught me off guard.”
“Yeah, well I’m in fucking shock as well, Evan. I woke up from a car accident and have been told that I am pregnant to my ex. I had no fucking idea; remember I got my period? I’ve even been drinking,” she yells in panic. I can see the fear on her face. The medical machine she is attached to lights up; its musical notes beeping at Sienna’s distress.
Moving closer to her now, I ask, “Is the baby okay?”
“The doctors think so. They want to keep an eye on me for the next couple of days. They want weekly check-ups for the next couple of weeks until I pass the three-month mark.”
I can’t believe this is happening, I’ve come back to win the love of my life and find out I am going to be a father; that we are going to be a family. I am so happy my heart is about to burst right out of my chest. Everything I have ever wanted is staring back at me.
“I promise I will keep you up to date with all the baby scans and you can visit the baby anytime you want.”
Huh, what is she talking about? I won’t need to visit the child because they will be with me, together in our house. “I’m not going to be an absentee father, Sienna. I missed our baby’s first scan; I won’t be missing anymore.”
“But, Evan, that is going to be hard when I live here in Paris and you live in LA.”
My heart is racing looking at the scan again. “Nothing hard about it, sweetheart. We will get married, we will become a family. I will buy us a beautiful house near the beach to live in. All our friends will come over; we will have an enormous number of babysitters to help us out. Plus my family is in Texas so they can fly in anytime we need help or we can fly your parents over if you want.”
Sienna looks pained by my declaration. “No,” she shouts.
“What do you mean no?” I look at her confused. “I am going to be in both of your lives for a very long time. The sooner you catch up and come on board to the plan the easier it will be.”
The machine goes off again.
“Get out, get the fuck out, Evan,” Sienna screams at me.
“How dare you come back into my life like this after two weeks of no contact. You kicked me out of your room in London like I was just some trash. How dare you come back here and demand all these things from me.”
The nurses file into the room trying to calm Sienna down.
“Just leave me alone, Evan,” she finally says, the nurses escorting me out of the room.
***
“Fuck man, you’re having a baby,” Christian says, handing me a beer as we sit in the living room of my hotel suite. I fucking needed a drink. All I could do was stare at the picture of the little bean, my little bean.
“I fucked up with Sienna, man. I told her we were going to get married and be a family; that she was going to live in LA with me. I thought we wanted the same things.”
“Seriously, are you fucking stupid?” Derrick sneers, as he walks into the room. How the hell did he get in? The rest of the crew follow behind, Charlotte, Blake, Vanessa, Chance.
“I’m going to be an aunty?” Charlotte screams, grabbing the scan out of my hand staring at it. The room erupts into loud cheers as everyone speaks about the baby.
“I can’t believe after everything you put her through, Evan, you would demand those things,” Derrick adds.
“What I put her through? She’s the one that was caught with her ex. Not me,” I scream at Derrick.
“You’re still going on about that. Sienna could have died and you’re still going on about how your damn fucking egos bruised.”
“Derrick, back the fuck off my bro, man. That’s not cool,” Christian says, beside me.
“No, Christian, he broke her heart. She was heartbroken when he threw her out of his room that day as if she was nothing. She loved you, Evan; she loved you so fucking much and wanted to put her past to rest so you could build a future together. Instead, you kicked her out; then probably went on to fuck a million groupies just to make yourself feel better. Sienna couldn’t function Evan, she was heartbroken over you,” Derrick bellows, his chest heaving as he defends his best friend.
I get it, I fucked up again.
Derrick was so pissed, that Chance got up and removed him from the room.
“He’s protective of her, Evan,” Vanessa adds. “We all are.”
Looking up at Vanessa, I mumble, “I’ve fucked everything up. I’ve lost her haven’t I?”
Vanessa shakes her head. “No you haven’t, but walking in demanding she marry you, become a family and move to LA was probably not the way to say sorry or to tell her you still love her, was it?”
Fuck she’s right. “I was in shock, Ness. I mean I panicked.”
Giving me a pat on the arm, she says, “I know Evan, but Sienna was just as freaked out as you. She was upset this afternoon finding out about the baby. She keeps thinking maybe she hurt it. She feels incredibly guilty that she didn’t know she was pregnant. So you know what, tread carefully for a while. I’m sure the shock of the baby and the shock of seeing you in Paris after everything might be too much for her to handle at the moment.”
Vanessa’s right, I’ll give her some time. But I’m going to show Sienna that the future I saw when we met is worth fighting for, I won’t give up.