Chapter Fifteen
“NOT QUITE THE Boston Symphony Orchestra, is it?” Vera smoothed her long black skirt and patted her hair. She and Jessica had driven to the harbor together. It was almost eight o’clock and they, along with the other musicians in Vera’s quartet, were preparing for their show.
There were only a handful of people seated in the metal chairs waiting for them to begin. Jessica had been watching the parking lot, waiting for Jamie to arrive. She knew that the girls were having drinks down the street at the Bookstore Restaurant with their significant others, and they’d be there any minute.
“It’s better than the symphony in many ways,” she answered Vera.
“How so?” Vera asked.
“Well, for one thing, Jamie will be here, so that makes it a million times better.” She inhaled deeply. “And this is so comfortable, Vera. Don’t you think so? With the breeze coming off the sea and children playing behind us. It’s casual and much less stressful. Although I have to admit that my heart is going crazy. I’m not sure why I’m so nervous.”
Vera touched her arm. “It’s because you care. You’re an accomplished musician, and when you play, every note carries a piece of you with it.”
Vera truly understood, and it made her realize that she would miss the camaraderie of her musician friends if she didn’t return to the orchestra, and she did sort of miss having people around who understood the pressures of a musician’s lifestyle.
A little boy darted past the tent and Vera laughed. “I miss little ones.”
“I’m sorry about your daughter, Jamie’s mother. That must have been very difficult for your whole family.”
Vera dropped her eyes for a beat. Her eyes were warm when she met Jessica’s gaze again. “Yes, it was beyond difficult when we lost our daughter, but I had Jamie to focus on. I think there is only one thing that could be worse than losing my child.” Vera watched the children play for a moment, then brought serious eyes back toward Jessica. “If I had never had her in the first place. I would have missed out on all those wonderful years that we had together. Nothing can replace time spent with family.”
Vera paused, looking into the distance with a sorrowful gaze. “Do you hope to have a family some day?”
“Before this summer, I didn’t have time to think about what I wanted. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking lately. I do want a family one day, but I have a lot of decisions to make before that can happen.”
“Oh, I have faith in you.” Vera squeezed her arm. “You’ll figure everything out.”
They settled into their chairs.
“Try not to be too nervous tonight. We’re like family now. And as far as making your decisions goes, you’ll know the right thing to do. Sometimes the heart tells us things in whispers, and we miss them. When we’re ready, we hear them loud and clear.”
Jessica loved the words Vera chose. Sometimes the heart tells us things in whispers, and we miss them. She wondered how many whispers she’d missed in her life—or if she’d missed any at all. Thinking about what Vera had said, she assumed that one day she’d know that answer—she’d hear it loud and clear.
She looked into the sparse audience. Her Seaside friends were all there, except Jamie. Jessica closed her eyes as they began to play, trying not to focus on missing him. The music carried her worries away. After they were done playing the first piece, Jessica opened her eyes and was immediately drawn to the dark-haired man in the second row, wearing a navy-blue tee and gazing right through her. Jamie. My Jamie. She was so happy to see him, and he looked so proud of her. He was sitting beside Mark, whom she suddenly realized looked a lot like the actor Peter Gallagher.
Jamie blew her a kiss as they began playing the next piece, and Mark shook his head. She closed her eyes again, choosing to ignore Mark’s head shake and soaking up the comfort of having Jamie nearby. She allowed herself to get swept into the vibrations of the cello, the higher notes of the violin, and the energy of the musical piece.
By the time they finished playing for the evening, the children were gone from the playground and the metal chairs were nearly full. The audience clapped and lingered, talking to the musicians, asking questions, and telling them how lovely they played. Jessica’s friends from Seaside hugged her and Vera and doled out accolades that made her head spin. As the crowd thinned and Jessica began putting her cello in its case, Jamie and Mark finally joined her.
Jamie handed her a bouquet of white and pink roses and kissed her cheek. “You were incredible. You’re so beautiful when you play. It’s as if the music is a part of you.”
“Thank you. These are so pretty.”
“Pink, for your graceful elegance when you play, and white, for our new beginning.”
The roses were gorgeous, but it was the thoughtfulness of the color roses he’d chosen and the meaning behind them that made her swoon like a schoolgirl.
Jamie drew her into his arms and kissed her.
“Come on. I am right here, you know.” Mark turned away, crossing his arms over his chest.
Jessica stepped back, feeling her cheeks pink up. “I’m sorry.” She turned to finish putting her instrument away as Jamie and Mark joked around about their kiss.
“Babe, I’m going to help Vera with her violin. I’ll be right back.” He turned to Mark. “Behave yourself.”
“Me? I’m not the one playing tonsil hockey.” Mark laughed as Jamie walked away.
Hearing them joke with each other made Jessica feel a little better. Maybe Mark wasn’t as crass as the girls thought.
“You were good,” Mark said in a hushed tone as his eyes darted around the tent. Their friends were gathered just a few feet away.
“Thank you.”
“Working for the BSO is an important job,” he said in a voice that sent an icy chill down Jessica’s spine. Gone was the joking smile he’d flashed so easily when Jamie was with them, replaced with a manipulative look in his eyes, even as they jumped from person to person, to the beach across the street, and to the tennis courts to their right—everywhere but where she stood.
“Yes. It is.”
“You know who Jamie is, right? Of course you do.” He moved closer to her, pressed his shoulder to hers as she closed her cello case. “You also probably know that he needs to focus on his billion-dollar business and all this playing around is just that. Playing around.”
Stunned into silence, Jessica held her breath.
“Jamie’s not a knight in shining armor. He’s not going to swoop you off your feet and make everything in your world flowers and bunnies.”
She froze, unable to think. Her limbs trembled, and it was all she could do to grab the edge of the table to remain erect.
“Jamie Reed can have any woman he wants,” he said in a low growl. “You’re no different from any of the others he’s been with, no matter how pretty you are. He needs to focus, and unless you want to be the cause of his empire’s demise, I suggest you back off.”
Ohnoohnoohno. She couldn’t even begin to process the things he’d said. You’re no different from any of the others…Back off.
“Smile pretty. Here comes Mr. Reed.”
Jessica couldn’t face Jamie. She couldn’t move at all. She felt his hand on her hip. His cheek brushed hers and she closed her eyes.
“Hey, babe. The gang’s going out for drinks. Want to go?”
She opened her mouth, but no words came. The world was spinning out of control, draining her of her strength. She felt dizzy and reached for Jamie’s hand.
“Babe?” Jamie whispered.
“She’s probably tired. Come on. Let’s go grab a few hours of fun before I go back to the Sheraton.” Mark grabbed Jamie’s arm.
“Hold up.” Jamie shrugged him off and moved around Jessica so he was facing her.
She kept her eyes trained on the ground. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. If she looked at him, she’d cry.
“Babe, are you okay?”
She nodded. “Just…not feeling too well.”
“Then we’ll stay in. We don’t have to go,” Jamie assured her.
“I’m here for one night and you’re going to blow me off?” Mark’s voice was light and carefree, as if he hadn’t just shattered Jessica’s world.
“You’re a big boy, Mark. I think you can handle a night alone,” Jamie said.
“Go,” she whispered.
“What, babe?” Jamie leaned closer.
“Go with him. I’ll be fine. I’m just tired.” And I need to think about what Mark said.
“I’ll stay with you. We can relax, go to bed early.” Jamie’s voice was laden with concern, and love, and all the things that had made her fall for him in the first place.
Even if Mark was just trying to scare her off, there had to be a reason. You’re no different from any of the others he’s been with, no matter how pretty you are. He needs to focus, and unless you want to be the cause of his empire’s demise, I suggest you back off. As much as she didn’t care about the other women he’d dated, Mark’s words still stung, and she did worry about taking Jamie away from his work. Hadn’t she done enough of that? Wasn’t that why Mark was there and why Jamie’s company was in the situation it was in?
She managed a glance at Mark, who shook his head the slightest bit, which she read clearly as, Back off. Stop monopolizing his time. Just enough of a sign for her to feel it like a knife to her heart.
“No, go with Mark. I’m fine.” I need to think. She’d been putting off making her own decisions, too. Maybe this was fate. Maybe this was the whisper Vera was talking about, and she should open her ears and listen.
“Are you sure, Jess? I don’t mind.” Jamie lifted her chin and searched her eyes.
She tried to smile, reached out and touched his stomach. She loved him so much it hurt. She nodded.
“I hate to leave you,” Jamie said quietly.
Mark turned a way-too-comfortable smile in her direction. She swallowed the bile that rose in her throat.
“Jessica, do you need Jamie to stay with you tonight? If you do, hey, I’ll back off. Who am I to come between two lovebirds?” He held his arms up in surrender.
“I’m fine. Go. I’ll take Vera home.”
Jamie folded her in his arms and kissed the top of her head. “You sure you’re okay to drive?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. I’ll come by afterward if you’re not asleep.”
It was all she could do to nod her head.