Adrian — 18
Cody: Can you believe I miss you?
Me: I’d hope so. I miss the fuck out of you. How’re things going?
Cody: Good. Did you hear about Emme and Denver?
It took several deep breaths to not squeeze the phone to where it broke. Yeah, I’d heard about my sister and her boss. He was a nice guy. I genuinely liked Denver. But he was her boss, and I was worried if things between them didn’t work out, she’d feel uncomfortable at work and quit and move away. It was never a good idea to get involved with your boss. It just wasn’t.
Me: Yeah, I did. I’m still not sure about it, but she’s not a kid.
Cody: Denver’s a good guy. He’s always been awesome. Especially when we were growing up.
Me: I know. I’ve heard it all before. He’s her boss, though, and if things don’t work, she might leave.
Cody: Maybe. But isn’t it a possibility you’ll leave?
That made me stop and think. Was that why it seemed as if Cody was holding himself back? Did he think I was going to get reassigned? We’d spent an amazing weekend together a week and a half ago, but there was just something that didn’t quite click. Was that it? Did he think I was leaving?
“Yo, Adrian. You wanna get lunch?”
I rolled my eyes at Bishop but had to chuckle. Since Cody, even I could tell I was more laid-back and understanding.
“Your Rocky impersonation needs more work.”
“DILLIGAFF?”
“I’ll DILLIGAFF you,” I said as I tossed a paperclip at my partner. We were in Cheyenne, and it looked like we weren’t going to be given a choice, we were headed to Arlington next.
“Yeah, I want lunch. Let me reply to Cody real quick and I’ll be right out,” I said as I started typing my reply. I glanced at Bishop but quickly back at my phone.
Me: Headed to lunch with the ass. Call you after we get back to the hotel?
Cody: Sounds good. I’m hanging with Hawke tonight. I’m staying at his place because Trace is on shift and we’re going to kick ass in Halo.
Me: Okay, talk to you later.
My phone vibrated as I tucked it into my pocket, but I’d kept Bishop waiting long enough. I was certain he would leave without me. I know I would. I caught up with him at the front door of the busy station. I hated borrowing space from the local police station, but this was where we were needed, so this was where we were.
“Get everything sorted with your guy?”
“Pretty much. I told him I’d call later. He’s spending the night with Hawke, so I figured it would be a short call.” We walked down the front steps and toward the rental we’d been given. Damn, I hated that the department would never splurge for a bigger rental. I did not fit into a fucking compact car. Period.
“You want to drive or sit squished in the passenger’s seat again?”
“You’re driving. There’s no way I’d be able to,” I grumbled out. I had tried to rent something larger, out of my own pocket, but they’d been completely out of rentals when our plane landed.
“Where to?”
“Don’t care. Food is good right now, so anywhere.”
Once I’d crammed myself into the stupid-ass tiny excuse for a car, we drove to a local diner we’d often hit up while we were in Cheyenne. Much like the diner in Crooked Bend, it had a lot of home-style meals as well as a good selection. We found a booth, and once we’d placed our orders with the waiter, Bishop stared at me.
“What?”
“You tell me. When you don’t care where you get food that usually means you’re stressed about something.”
“I’m too old for this shit.”
“What shit?”
I ran my hand down my face and contemplated my response. “You ever think about changing careers?”
“No, why? Are you?” Bishop’s eyes got huge, and I could understand why. If—and that was a really big if—I changed careers, he’d be stuck with a new partner. We didn’t always see eye to eye on everything, but we knew each other. We trusted each other.
“I didn’t say I was leaving, just thinking about changing careers. Maybe looking into some sort of higher-up position. Hell, I’ve already turned it down once. Maybe it’s time I accept the chief position so I’m home every night.”
“Fuck. You’ve fallen for him, haven’t you?” Bishop whispered to me as he leaned over the table a bit.
“You already know that. Cody has had me tied up in knots for months. Yeah, technically we’ve only been dating for a month, but DILLIGAFF?”
It was Bishop’s turn to laugh. But the acronym really worked in the current situation, especially since the restaurant was packed.
“Man, you know what I mean. Have you told Cody yet?”
“What part of we’ve only been dating for a month did you not hear? If I say anything, he’ll bolt. I know it.”
“Are you sure?”
“He’s twenty. Yeah, he’ll bolt.”
“Maybe not. Aren’t his friends in committed relationships?”
“Yeah, but neither of them had an issue with their guys being older. I’m still not sure Cody’s completely comfortable with our age gap.” I looked out at the diner and took in the patrons of the place. Some were happy, some looked stressed, but none seemed to have the age difference Cody and I had. Maybe he had a point.
“No. Don’t make me call your guy on you,” Bishop said, getting my attention.
When I looked back at Bishop, he was pointing at me. “No. I know that look. He makes you happy. He makes you smile. He makes you easier to get along with. The only two people who should have a say in anything about the two of you are you and Cody. That’s it.”
I tried to smile, but the doubt had already set in. Our food came and we both dug in. I’d ordered a club sandwich and Bishop a cheeseburger. After we’d eaten about half of our food, Bishop started in again.
“You know…” I groaned, wishing he’d just drop it. “No, hear me out. His friends are with older guys. He might surprise you. You never know unless you take a chance and tell him.”
“True, but he might dump me. And then I’d be a complete mess. I can’t. I’m happy with the way things are. I just want to be with him, and if what I currently have with Cody is all I ever get, then I’m happy.”
“But are you? Truly?”
I sighed, knowing he was right. I was lying to myself, and eventually that shit was going to catch up with me. “What do you suggest?”
“I’m not sure. Maybe you could ask his friend? Tristan, was it? The one that helped with the paintball. I mean, aside from telling the guy how you feel, I’m not sure. You usually just go for what you want. With Cody, things are different.”
“It can’t be helped. The situation with him—”
“Is different. I know. If you don’t want to talk to Tristan, maybe just wait it out and see how things go? I know I’m not really helping, but you’re asking the wrong guy. You know I’m Mr. No Strings Attached.”
“Yeah, so you say. I’m not buying it though.”
Bishop looked like he wanted to say something but chose not to. I knew there was something going on with him; I didn’t know exactly what though. If he wanted to tell me, he would. Otherwise, if it didn’t affect the job, then it wasn’t my concern.
“You two need anything else?” the harried waiter asked. When we both shook our heads, he dropped the check at the end of the table before he moved on.
“Have you told Cody about us having to go to Arlington yet?”
“No. I figured I’d do it tonight when I called. I didn’t want to tell him in a text.”
“I don’t know. In a text he can’t yell.”
“Yes, he can. Trust me. If I call him, I can at least hear the tone of his voice and if he’s upset or not.”
We got up from the table, and after we paid for our lunch at the register, we went back to the pathetic excuse for a vehicle. I sighed, not quite ready for the pain I was about to endure in the contraption. Even with the seat all the way back, my knees still hit the glove compartment. My head grazed the roof, and my shoulders were about eight inches wider than the seat back, which meant I had to lean toward the middle of the car.
“Why do they make such tiny contraptions?” I asked as we opened our doors. By the time I was in, Bishop already had his seat belt buckled and the vehicle on with the air cranked.
“They make them because they get good mileage supposedly. But I think that’s a lie. Something this tiny should get better than the whopping twenty-eight MPG we’re averaging.”
“See, that’s what I mean. We’re not even saving the planet with killer mileage. Damn tin can.”
“I agree. I’m only six-one, but it’s a tight fit for even me. Hopefully the rental in Arlington will be bigger.”
“But I’m over this thing. Never again.”
“Sorry, man. I know you’re uncomfortable. We only have tomorrow left here, and then it’s on to Virginia for however long that takes.”
“I really am too old for all of this shit,” I grumbled as I looked out the window. Cheyenne was pretty, but so was Sulfur Springs. And Cody was in Sulfur Springs, so that was more of a reason to stay there. But they didn’t need a chief in that area. They were looking for one in Arlington and here in Cheyenne. It seemed they were looking anywhere but in Jackson. And that just sucked ass.
Once Bishop pulled into the parking lot at the office we were working out of, I quickly climbed out of the deathmobile that was disguised as a car. My back actually cracked when I got out and stretched. Yeah, so over that damn thing.
Bishop gave me a sympathetic look, but I simply shrugged and went into the building. It wasn’t his fault the rental car place sucked. The rest of the afternoon droned by, causing me to snap and growl at everyone. When it was time to leave, I gladly rushed out of the building, ready to get away from the station.
“You want dinner on the way or delivery when we get to our rooms?” Bishop asked as we walked back into the contraption I’d come to hate.
“On the way. I don’t want to have to go back out, and you know how I get. I eat when I’m stressed.”
“One more day. Just keep telling yourself that. Only one more day in this thing.”
I admitted defeat and somehow contorted myself into the damn thing again. Once we’d stopped at a local Mexican food place and eaten too many fajitas, I did it once again, only this time, it didn’t seem to hurt quite so much. It must have been the three beers I’d had.
“You okay over there?”
I turned and looked at my partner. “Just peachy. I’m ready to do nothing for the rest of the evening. What are your plans?”
“Same as you. I’ll probably play Fortnite on my laptop, but that’s probably it. Oh, and drink half of the six-pack I have in my room.”
“Sounds good. Do you actually have six beers or only three?”
“Six. Want to join me?”
“Fuck yes. The three from dinner weren’t enough.”
“Adrian, hiding your feelings with alcohol won’t make them go away.”
“I know that. I’m trying to get the courage to tell Cody how I feel.” I looked at Bishop as he laughed at me. I didn’t blame him. I’d laugh at me too if it wasn’t me we were talking about.
“Fine. Do you want me to stop at the liquor store and get more beer?”
“Yes. You said you only had a six-pack. That might not be enough.”
“The fridge is small, I can’t help it if it only holds a six-pack and that’s it.”
“Let’s stop, that way if I get buzzed, I might be able to tell Cody. Shit, what’s wrong with me, Bishop?”
“Nothing, Adrian. Nothing at all. Sit tight. I’ll be back in a jiffy.”
I watched as Bishop got out and went into the liquor store that was about a block from our hotel. He came back a few minutes later, carrying a brown bag. I readily took it from him, and when I looked inside, there was a six-pack of beers but also a few tiny bottles of whiskey.
“Should I be worried about you? You don’t have a drinking problem, do you?”
“No. I was happy with the three beers. You had three at dinner and are planning on more. I figured if the beer didn’t work, maybe the whiskey would. If you don’t drink them, take them in tomorrow and give them to Jamie.”
“Oh, hey, that’s a good idea.” We were back at the hotel, and I opened the door and all but spilled out of the car. Only two more times, I kept telling myself. Only twice more.
After a few beers, he showed me the mystery that was Fortnite. “That’s cool. So you just go around and fight off the zombies?” I asked as I took the last swig of my beer. We’d gone through the entire six-pack, and that probably wasn’t the smartest thing. Not only had I had six beers alone—three at dinner and three in the room—I’d also gone ahead and drank two of the three little bottles of whiskey.
“In this mode, yes. There’s another one that doesn’t have zombies, but I like this one.”
“I wonder if Cody plays this. I should go. You have more beers to drink, and I’m starting to feel the six I drank.”
“Just don’t call Cody. It would be bad if you did, man. Okay?”
I nodded and got up to go to my own room. Once there, I did exactly what Bishop told me not to do. I called Cody.
“Hey, baby. How’s everything?”
“Adrian? You sound funny. You okay?”
“Yeah, just relaxed. And tired. We have to go to Arlington tomorrow, and I miss you.”
“I miss you, too. I’ll see you when you get back from Arlington though, right?”
“Yeah, but I don’t wanna go. I want to come home so we can talk.”
“Adrian, have you been drinking?”
I snorted, my nose was starting to feel a little numb. Shit. What was in that whiskey? “Yeah. I needed the courage.”
Cody laughed through the line, and I heard him talking to someone that was most likely Hawke and then he was back on the line. “Courage for what?”
“To tell you I love you. But if I tell you, you’ll leave because I’m too old. So Bishop said to not call, so I probably shouldn’t, huh?” I dozed off, the alcohol finally catching up with me.