Cody — 19
Three weeks. It had been three fucking weeks since Adrian drunk dialed me and told me he loved me. Three weeks since he went off to Arlington on assignment, and I’d barely heard from him since. Three weeks since…shit. I slammed the door to the walk-in cooler and went back out into the kitchen. What the fuck was I even in there for in the first place?”
“Hawke!” I yelled as I walked into the kitchen. The absolute last person I expected to see standing there leaning against the counter next to Hawke was Adrian Fucking Fisher. No. He was supposed to still be in Arlington. He was supposed to be…
He was my everything.
“Hey, baby. Can we talk?”
“If you’re dumping me, no. I’m not doing that shit right now. You’ve put me through hell the past few weeks, asshole,” I yelled as I pointed a finger at him. And he had. He’d dozed off after he said those three little words, and when I hung up and called Bishop, he went next door and told me Adrian was passed out. He put him to bed and called me back about ten minutes later.
“Cody, don’t hurt him. He’s tied up in knots over you, and if you’re just looking for fun, find it with someone else. Adrian’s playing for keeps.”
“Why wouldn’t I be doing the same thing? He’s unlike anyone I’ve ever dated, and he’s really special to me, Bishop, so you don’t need to worry about him. I have no intention of hurting him, ever.”
“Good. He’s going through a lot of shit right now at work, but he’s worried about keeping you at the same time. We get called away and can’t always say what or where we’re going.”
“Don’t worry. I know how to keep it in my pants. Like I said, I don’t want to hurt Adrian. He means a lot to me.”
There was absolutely no way I was going to say those three words to Bishop before I said them to Adrian. I’d never said them to anyone other than my family. I watched as the man in question hesitantly walked toward me. Why was he nervous?
“Hawke?”
“Go, dude. I’ve got it covered here,” Hawke said, waving us off.
I beamed a smile in his direction and simply walked out of the kitchen.
“Hey, Cody. Everything…oh. Hi, Adrian. Are you back in town?” Emme asked, smiling up at her brother after he followed me out of the kitchen.
“I just got back about an hour ago. I’m going to steal Cody for the day, okay?”
“Sure thing. We’ll see you tomorrow, Cody.” I watched as Adrian gave his sister a quick hug and kiss. Once they parted, I turned and left.
“Why do I get the feeling you’re mad at me?” Adrian asked once we’d made it outside. His SUV was parked next to my truck, so I headed in that direction.
“I’m not mad. You wanted to talk. I don’t want to talk in the middle of the kitchen. Especially if you’re going to dump me.”
“Cody, stop.” Adrian pulled on my arm and spun me around, forcing me to look at him. “I’m not breaking up.”
“Good. Then it’s safe to talk at your place?”
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Well, if I’m crying while driving home, that’s not exactly safe, is it?”
“Why would you be crying?”
“I won’t unless you dump me. And since you aren’t, I want to go get reacquainted with you. I’ll follow you?”
“You still don’t know where I live?”
“I do, actually. But at this point, it’s just habit for me to follow you.” I climbed into my truck and waited for Adrian to get into his SUV. Once he did, we backed out of our spots and left the resort area. I glanced in my back seat, making sure I had an overnight bag, just in case, and when I saw it on the seat, I sighed in relief. I didn’t want to have to go home and pack one.
During the drive to Adrian’s place, I thought about the past two months. I’d first seen Adrian at the Blue Diamond, but he had seriously terrified me that night. Now, looking back and knowing him the way I did, I wondered why I ever thought such a thing. Adrian was big, sure. And his muscles had muscles. His body was hard and thick, and he had a seriously intimidating scowl. But he was also a teddy bear. He was one of the sweetest people I’d ever met. And instead of the nearly two months we’d been seeing each other, it could have been closer to six.
Before I even realized we were close, we pulled into the neighborhood that Adrian lived in. I’d come to really like the place. It was quiet and surrounded by trees, which offered a sense of peace. When we pulled onto his driveway, my truck bumped along behind his SUV and disappeared into the woods where his house was located.
I pushed the button on my visor and opened the garage door the same time Adrian opened his. Once we were both parked, I got out and grabbed my bag from the back before heading inside. Adrian met me by the tailgate of my truck.
“Everything okay?” I asked, curious about the look on his face.
“I’m not sure. You said you weren’t mad, but you looked pretty pissed if you ask me.”
I sighed and gently placed my hands on Adrian’s sides, resting my forehead on his shoulder. “Can we go in and talk? You said you wanted to talk.”
“I always want to talk to you, baby.” I nodded and immediately gave Adrian my hand when he reached for it. It was a short walk, but I felt so much more grounded when he laced our fingers together. I dropped my bag by the pool table as we walked by, and Adrian led me to the living room. When he tugged on my arm, I sat down beside him and waited. He wanted to talk and I was going to let him go first.
“You’re mad. Tell me why so I can fix it. Please.”
“I’m not mad. Honest. Irritated, yes. But not mad. You drunk dialed me, Adrian. And you don’t remember any of it.” With how big Adrian’s eyes got, I knew I was either right or he was hoping I’d forgotten.
“Fuck. That’s not how I wanted to do this. I woke up the next morning and because the memory was so fuzzy, I thought I’d been dreaming. Shit. So I said everything I thought I’d said to you, huh?”
“You didn’t say much. Only a couple of lines before you passed out. But then you never brought it back up. It’s been three weeks and nothing.”
“I’m sorry, baby. I told you the assignment would be tricky and I wouldn’t get to talk to you much.”
“Adrian, I don’t care about the assignment. Well, actually, I do, but I’m not worried about it right this moment. I know you’ll have to go out at times. I get it. I understand. I’m not a kid who can’t occupy himself when you’re out in the field. But you fuckin’ told me you loved me, and you did it when you were drunk. Drunk. Should I be worried?”
Adrian’s face fell. What the fuck did that mean? Was that not how he actually felt? Shit, what if he didn’t feel that way?
“Bishop told me not to call you. If I hadn’t had so much alcohol, I probably wouldn’t have. I’m sorry. I can’t stress enough how sorry I am. You deserve so much better than that. But the truth is, I love you, baby. But I don’t want to scare you off. I can’t keep on lying to myself. I swear, I don’t normally have more than one beer or one glass of wine. And even then only on occasion.”
Adrian reached for me, and when I didn’t pull away, he ran a finger down the side of my face.
“I’m not running, but I’m scared. I haven’t ever had feelings like this for anyone in my life. I understand I’m not that old, but you do things to me I’ve never felt with anyone before. Yeah, there’s only a few people before you, but that doesn’t mean what I feel for you isn’t real.”
“I know, baby, and I’d never say it wasn’t.” Adrian glanced out the back windows and looked into the yard. Soon the leaves would fall from the trees and we’d have an unhindered view of the mountains, but for now, we still had all the privacy that the woods provided.
“Adrian? What do you want?”
“I simply want you. The first night I laid eyes on you, you took my breath away. I’d been in a funk for so long, and all of a sudden, my mind and heart started to feel alive again. I know I came on strong, but you do that to me. You make me feel alive.”
“Did you know that no matter how much Tristan and Hawke teased me about the bear from the club, I never told them how much I thought about you?”
“No? Why?” Adrian asked as he turned and looked at me.
“Mostly because I was trying to figure out how to let myself feel something for someone. I’d been hurt in the past, and you’re older than me. I figured you’d be looking to get married and have a family or something.”
“I’ll be honest, I won’t say no to either if that’s what you decide you want to do further down the road. But for now, I’m perfectly happy just getting to be with you.”
“Adrian?”
“Yeah, baby?”
“I love you, too. Please don’t hurt me though. I’ve been cheated on and thrown to the wolves basically, and even though I didn’t love them, it still hurt. I think it would devastate me if you did either.”
“Come here, baby.”
I climbed onto Adrian’s lap, straddling his legs with mine. The kiss he gave me was unlike any we’d ever shared before. It was soft, sweet, and gentle. Adrian slowly ran his hands up and down my back while his lips gently caressed mine. I couldn’t stop the moan that escaped my throat. It came out a muffled rumble and caused Adrian to pull away. That was the last thing I wanted. It had been several weeks since I’d seen him, and I wasn’t ready to stop kissing. I moved in for another kiss, but Adrian stopped me.
“What?”
“I want you, but I don’t want to rush. Let’s wait until after dinner, and we can spend the rest of the night in bed.”
“Adrian, it’s the middle of the afternoon.”
“I know, baby, but if we keep going, I’m not going to want to stop. I need to stop now because I have so much planned for us tonight.”
“Okay. So, dinner? Do you want to go out or cook here?”
“Here. I don’t want to leave this house until tomorrow morning when you have to go to work.”
“Okay. Since I smell like a bakery, care if I shower?”
“My place is your place. You know that. You’re welcome to shower if you’d like. I’ll go digging in the freezer and see what we have. We don’t have any fresh vegetables, though, so everything will have to come from the freezer.”
“I can work with that. Just pull out something you’re interested in and we’ll make it work.”
I climbed up off Adrian’s lap and walked to the bedroom, stopping at the pool table along the way to grab my bag. After I’d spent the weekend with Adrian before he went out of town, my bag’s contents grew to a three-day supply of everything, so I was set for today and tomorrow.
Once I’d showered, thoroughly cleaning certain parts extra well for activities planned for later, I got out and dried off. When I entered the bedroom to get dressed, my bag was missing, but one of my sets of clothing was on the bed, so I quickly pulled it on and went in search of my boyfriend.
“Adrian? What did you do with my bag?”
“I unpacked it. If you go digging in the dresser, I cleaned out the top two drawers for you. You can leave them empty, or you’re welcome to fill them. Either way, I’m going to ask you to stay over more often than once a week. Just so you know.”
“So my stuff is in your dresser?”
“Yep.”
“And you’re okay with that? You’re sure? We’re not moving too fast?”
“If we are, we’ll figure it out. That’s the beauty about us and our relationship. We’re the only two in it and I really don’t care what others have to say about it, unless it bothers you.”
“No, I like the idea of having my things here. I didn’t want to assume anything though.”
“Assume all you want. You’re exactly where I want you and that’s what matters most to me. Now, are you hungry?” Adrian gave me a quick kiss before he pulled away and looked down at the counter.
“Yes, what’d you find for dinner?”
“How about fajitas? I have tons of frozen peppers and onions. There’s some steak already stripped and frozen, so if we throw it on the grill in a cast iron pan, it should cook even though it’s frozen,” Adrian said as he held up a couple packages of what had to be the steak he was talking about.
“Do you have tortillas and sour cream?”
“Yes, and yes. The sour cream is new and sealed and good until the end of the month. The cheese is frozen, but that’s okay.”
“Then I say let’s do it. I’ll prep in here if you want to get the grill going.”
“Sounds like a perfect plan. I’ll be back in just a few.” Adrian gave my cheek another quick kiss, and then he was gone. I found the skillets, and after prying the steak apart, I put the strips on the flat griddle and took it to Adrian.
“Perfect timing. The grill is hot and ready.”
“Great. I’ll go back and get the other pan for the peppers and onions.”
I retrieved the skillet and the bags of peppers and onions, then took both out to Adrian. “Do you want to eat on the porch? It’s beautiful out this evening.”
“That works for me.”
I gave Adrian’s back a rub and went inside, still wondering if I was going to get my heart shattered or not. I guess that’s a chance you had to take if you wanted love in your life.