Three Weeks Later

 

The sun beamed down through the windshield of Mark’s red SUV, baking my hands as I clutch the wheel. Sweat dripped down my face, even though the air conditioning blasted from the vents and chilled my skin.

I was both freezing and burning, hot and cold, as anxiety sunk its claws into me.

On a clinical level, I knew I had PTSD from my attack. That my fight or flight instincts were all screwed up. I also knew yhe level of danger I felt wasn’t real, but that knowledge did nothing to curb the anxiety building inside of me.

Scanning my surroundings, I studied the crowded parking lot of the rough high school in Phoenix I tutored at. As I tried to spot any potential threats, I marveled at how before, I saw no risk here. I’d blithely skipped my way through life like a fool, unaware bad things could happen to me. With my newly opened eyes, I could see the different gangs hanging on their turf, feel the tension between them as a mint green low rider with utterly black windows rolled up. A group of very scantily dressed high school girls approached it, giggling and looking like children playing dress up.

Ever since Ramón mentioned people actively following me, I felt like malevolent forces lurked in every shadow, hid behind every pair of eyes. Sometimes the hair would lift on the back of my neck, and I’d just know someone dangerous was nearby. Hell, I didn’t even feel safe at my parents’ house. During a brief visit, I swore I saw someone looking through the tall fence surrounding our backyard. I hadn’t been able to sleep until I’d texted Tino about my concerns. He’d set up perimeter guards around my childhood home in the thick of suburbia outside of Tuscan, and I’d only stopped stressing out after he reassured me I was safe.

How fucked up was that?

A car beeped somewhere in the lot, drawing me back to the present.

This was my fourth day back as a tutor. Instead of getting better, my fear was only getting worse. Every day, the temptation to never leave Leo’s compound, to exist only in the bubble of his protection, made me want to become a recluse. The need to flee was strong, but I fought it. I wasn’t going to give in to my fears, and I would not let them rule my life. Besides, what did I have to go home to? An empty house? Hannah was busy with Leo, and Mark was always working. If it wasn’t for Hannah’s dog, Honey, I would be completely alone… other than the guards I never saw, but knew were there.

When I was alone, without fail, my mind went to Ramón while my heart ached.

Three weeks. Three long, long weeks he’s been gone, and every day that passed without word, I could feel myself shattering a little more inside. For the first week, he’d texted and called me regularly, but eight days after he left, all communication had stopped. I tried asking the Cordovas what was going on, but they just put me off with vague promises. They said he was okay, and he was in an area with no cell service. In a normal situation I would have believed them, but I know how the Cordovas work regarding anything they see as a threat to their family. It hurt me that they couldn’t trust me with the information about where Ramón really was.

After all his promises and sweet words, Ramón was long gone and evidently never contacting me again, but I still had the bodyguards he left me like some odd parting gift.

I still hadn’t really told Hannah anything about what happened between me and Ramón. She knew something went on, but she didn’t know the bastard made me fall in love with him. I’d given myself to Ramón, had opened up to him, and let myself believe we really had a future together. He obviously had gotten what he wanted from me, and I wondered if this was a game he played with all women. Maybe he was one of those guys that got off on breaking girl’s hearts.

‘Cause he’d certainly broken mine.

The loud shouts of teenage boys came from my left, and I jumped in my seat, my breath coming in shallow pants.

I wanted to laugh and cry. For over a year, I had no problem parking in this lot and going into the school, cloaked in my impenetrable layer of ignorant arrogance that nothing bad would ever happen to me. What a fool I’d been, so blind to the dangers around me. This part of the city was rough—and I do mean rough—driven by institutionalized poverty, generations of gangs, and politicians more interested in catering to the rich than caring for the poor. The school was surrounded by abandoned or falling down homes that the city needed to condemn, and the neighborhood around us was a constant battle ground between gangs. Yes, the school had security, but they were stretched thin by budget cuts and stuck mainly to protecting the school, not the parking lot. The only thing that stood between the school and the outside world was a massive chain-link fence with razor wire at the top.

God, this place resembled a prison.

I wondered if I was being stupid even coming here, or if I should have brought Tino with me. I thought Tino was my friend, that he’d give me some hint about Ramón, but he gave me the same standard answers the Cordovas did. Even though I was irritated with Tino, I really wished he was on campus with me as I tried to get up the courage to leave the safety of Mark’s SUV. I noticed a couple of the older, more mature looking teenagers were scoping out the Land Rover, which stuck out like a sore thumb in the parking lot filled with beaten-up older cars. I worried that someone might try to steal it while I was inside tutoring, but if they thought Mark’s car was an easy target, they were sadly mistaken.

Mark was a badass guy on all levels. Even when he wasn’t home, I felt safe in his house. He wasn’t around much, he worked a lot with Leo. When he was there, he was a major video game player. I’d spent many nights watching him play, glad for the company during my increasingly frequent bouts of insomnia. Mark was quiet, didn’t pry, and didn’t really answer any personal questions, but he wasn’t a bad guy. He was just one of those people that didn’t feel the need to fill silence with inane chatter. That’s not to say we never talked about ourselves, but he never mentioned his late wife. Still, I could see he carried a massive burden on his soul from her loss.

Part of me wanted to bug him about it, get him to talk about his pain, but I wasn’t going to push him. Lord knows, he respected my desire not to talk about my problems, and didn’t call me out on my increasingly odd middle of the night hobbies, thanks to my insomnia.  See, when you only sleep four to five hours a night you find you have a lot of time to kill. In my case, I used it for canning fruits, vegetables, soups, dry mixes, etc. Thanks to Pintrest, I had a never-ending pool of inspiration for different canning projects. I know it sounds odd, but cooking soothed me.

My abuela was an old-school housewife. She’d made the mom in Leave it to Beaver look like a crack-addicted hobo, and she did it with grace and style. I’d used the skills she taught me in the past weeks to can enough food for an army. Currently, half my room was taken up with jars of jellies, preserves, and enough canned veggies to get a family of five through WWIII.

Soon, I’d have to take another trip to the local foodbank where I’d donate the literal fruits of my labor, but the thought of driving down to the crime infested neighborhood where the foodbank was located made my heart race.

Someone knocked on my window, and I screamed loud enough that I startled myself. When I whipped my head, around I found Devonlin, one of the kids I tutored, staring at me with wide eyes. At seventeen, he was a hulking behemoth of a guy with short dreadlocks who played football and had the massive body of a grown man. He stared at me like I was the scary one. I could only imagine how I must have looked, spacing out in Mark’s SUV while staring at the school and shaking.  Shame raced through me at how weak I was. One bad thing happens, and I fall into pieces.

No, I was stronger than this, stronger than my irrational fears.

Galvanized into action, I turned my car off and got out. I tried to give Devonlin a reassuring smile as I brushed my hand over my hair, hoping it was under control as I looped my bag over my shoulder. “Hey, Devonlin, sorry about that. I was totally daydreaming.”

“It’s okay, Ms. Holtz. I just wanted to make sure you were all right.” He glanced over at the green low rider idling at the curb near the entrance to the school, the driver’s side window now lowered as a guy in in his thirties openly flirted with the high school girls. “You don’t need to be hangin’ in the parking lot today.”

Following his gaze, I took a step closer to Devonlin’s side as we crossed the lot, thankful once again that this massive young man had both a heart of gold and a protective streak a mile wide. “Why?”

A loud whistle split the air behind us, and a man with a thick Hispanic accent to his voice yelled out, “Devonlin? That you, boy? We need to talk.”

I turned and looked over my shoulder, then froze at the sight of a man in a crisp, black suit stepping out of the passenger side of a black sports car that had just pulled up. He was tall, with pockmarked deep cinnamon brown skin and expertly cut and tousled black hair. Even from this distance, I could feel a bad vibe emanating from the stranger. Devonlin froze then twitched. When I looked up at him, I found him standing there with his eyes shut tight, but his protective stance over me increasing until he was crowding my space.

His deep, but scared voice reverberated through me as he growled out, “I’ve got nothin’ to say to you, Nova.”

The other man came closer, and my fear increased as I realized how big he was. The way Nova carried himself, the way he looked at me, they all reminded me of Manny, and I felt ill. But I noticed all the kids watching us, and my mothering instinct began to kick in—the need to protect those who couldn’t protect themselves.

Tilting his head to the side, the stranger smirked. “I think you do, Devonlin. Medication is expensive, isn’t it? You already sold everything you own. How you gonna afford her next round of chemo? Gonna have to pick and choose between keeping the lights on or keeping her alive?”

Even though I was freaking out with my heart pounding, Devonlin was my friend, and nobody talked to my friends like that. I’d known him for a while. Even though he was as big as a house, he was still a kid in many ways. A kid being bullied by some scary criminal. No, this wasn’t happening. Not here, not at my school. Or kind of my school. Whatever, this was my territory, and he wasn’t threatening my students. Schools were supposed to be safe spaces, and this rotten bastard didn’t belong there.

“Devonlin,” I said in a soft voice, “look at me and keep walking. Whatever he’s offering you, it’s not worth it.”

“My mom…” he whispered.

“Cancer returned?”

“Yeah.”

“Boy!” Nova shouted. “Stop talking to that puta and get over here.”

I put some steel in my spine and even though my voice shook, I said, “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave school property.”

He spat at the ground near my feet. Internally, I flinched, fear prickling along my spine, making me want to run. “Stupid bitch. Maybe instead of takin’ Devonlin for a ride, I take you for one instead, ‘eh? Teach you some lessons on manners.”

Though I was about to barf because I was so afraid, I didn’t let it show in my voice, my years of being bullied by my older sister allowing me to remain stone-faced. “You lay one hand on me and I promise you…you will regret it.”

He stared at me, his eyes wide before laughing. “You are one ballsy bitch. Just the kind of woman I like to break and put in her place. Have you at my feet like a dog, make you lick the shit off my boots.”

I tried to swallow past the fist-sized lump of fear in my throat, and I hated that this predator could sense my fear. Students were all around us now, and I knew it was just a matter of time before someone told the guards. I could only hope it was quick, because I wasn’t sure what I would do if he called my bluff.

“Get out.” Devonlin suddenly pushed me behind his broad back like a living shield.

Looking around Devonlin’s side, I watched as the man lifted his upper lip in a sneer, then the guy tugged at his suit. “You are making a big mistake, Huge. Your mother is gonna die in agony because of you.”

A kid yelled from behind us, “Policía!”

The guy in the suit vanished into the sport’s car so fast, he moved like a ghost. I stared in disbelief at his retreating taillights.

After a moment of silence, all the kids around us began gossiping. I hurried Devonlin into the building, ignoring their curious stares. If security was on the way, I didn’t want to be around when they arrived. I knew without a doubt Tino would flip his shit 150 different ways to Sunday if he heard about what just happened, and I did not need that right now. While part of me wanted to raise a stink about that asshole being able to get on campus, I thought it was the wise move to get out of sight.

Keeping his body between mine and parking lot, Devonlin quickly moved me up the front steps. “Ms Holtz, you shouldn’t have said anything.”

We’d entered the school by this point, and I tried to get more information out of Devonlin as we waited to go through the metal detector. “What?”

Devonlin grunted as he went through the metal detector. “Nova is bad news.”

I waited until the guards let us past before saying in a low voice, “Why did that man want to talk to you?”

“He knows I’ve got some big name teams trying to recruit me, that I’m gonna make real money soon. That shithead believes he can buy me now, that he’ll own me like a pet dog and can use me to throw games. I know all about his bullshit and I’m not interested.” His chest puffed up with pride. “He thinks he can own me, thinks he can buy me, but my integrity is not for sale.”

My heart panged in sympathy for this proud young man. “Fuck him.”

Devonlin started to laugh. Once again, he looked like the kid I watched grow up, instead of a man. “I think that’s the first time I’ve heard you swear.”

“Yeah, well, it’s been that kind of day. I think I need to go back and talk to the security guards, maybe file a report or something.”

“No, you aren’t going to do anything.” Guiding me deeper into the school, he shook his head adamantly. “That’s not how things work around here. Even if someone did call the police, nothing would happen. They’re a cartel, and I don’t know if you really understand what that is, but it means they have power and money like you couldn’t dream of. And they didn’t get it by being good people. Those dishonorable bastards would sell their own mother if it earned them a dollar. Only chance I got is hoping I can outlast them until I get drafted, or find another cartel to watch my back.”

“Wait, you’d want another cartel to watch your back?”

“Well, yeah. Not all of ‘em are like Nova and his crew. Some are as close to legit, run by smart people who you can trust.”

“But they’re criminals, Devonlin.”

Shaking his head, he sighed and gave me a look older than his years. “Man, you did grow up sheltered. Don’t you know this world is run by criminals?”

“That’s not true.”

“Yeah, well, true or not, there’s people that aren’t on the right side of the law, but I would trust to have my back. I just can’t afford their protection.”

“All the more reason to alert the police.”

“You aren’t getting it. People like Nova have the connections to make any paper trail disappear, to make the police disappear. Meanwhile, you’ve just painted a big old target on your back ‘cause you know the cartel got enough cops in their pocket. Your name and address is only a phone call away. If you don’t mind me sayin’, you’re very pretty, Ms. Holtz, and Nova would love to have an excuse to get his hands on a woman like you. People that go up against Nova and his men don’t end up so good.”

School had ended over an hour ago, so the hallways were mainly empty. I felt like my voice echoed as I whispered, “Seriously?”

Shaking his head, Devonlin looked down and scuffed the floor with his giant foot, his dark skin gleaming. “Knew a kid who tried to get his mom to stop working for Nova. My friend beat her pimp up and tried to keep her safe, but he let his guard down. They beat the fuck out of him. Put him in the hospital for months and made an example out of him, ‘yah know? No charges were ever brought, no one was ever arrested.”

My lips felt numb as I whispered, “That’s terrible.”

“It is, and you need to stay out of it. You see that guy out there; you turn the other way. He’s got a thing for PAWG blondes.”

“Um, what?”

He blushed as he stammered out, “Uh, you know. Um…”

“No, I don’t know. “

Rubbing the back of his thick neck, Devonlin grinned and said, “I gotta go, see you around, Ms. Holtz.”

“Wait,” I yelled at his retreating form. “You tell me what PAWG means!”

From further down the hall, a group of teenage boys burst into laughter and one yelled out, “It means Phat Ass White Girl.”

With my face no doubt as red as a tomato, I turned and marched down the hallway, wondering if I’d just been insulted or complimented.

 

With a low sigh, I rubbed my forehead then tried to find patience as I listened to my younger sister, Winter, complain about my parents on the phone. At seventeen, she had a flair for drama a mile long, but was also as nice as could be. She was a much better kid than I’d been, that was for sure. Instead of sneaking out to go to a party, she’d stay home and happily spend hours hanging out with her small circle of friends. She had a serious boyfriend, and I know they’d had sex. She was open with me about stuff like that, but overall she was a great kid.

Just a little dramatic...then again, what teenager wasn’t?

“Mom said I have to go on college tours with her!” Winter grumbled as I sat on the back porch of Mark’s house on the hillside, watching the sparkle of the city that stretched into the distance like a field of stars.

“Just a couple local ones. Come on, we all had to go through this with them. Mom loves that shit.”

“But you guys were interested in college. I’m not.”

“I thought your grades were good?”

“They are, but that’s not the point. Mom seems to think if I don’t go to college I’m doomed to a life of teen pregnancy and working two jobs at minimum wage. She seems to think college is some magic ticket to success, and that’s not true. Besides, Paul didn’t go to college, and he’s got a great career.”

Paul was my sister’s older boyfriend, nineteen, who worked in heating and cooling for his dad’s company. They’d been dating since junior high and were disgustingly cute together. I had to admit, Paul was the perfect guy for her. He was sweet, kind, and patient, but strong in a quiet way. You could tell by how he looked at her that he thought the sun and moon rose and set on Winter.

I sucked in a deep breath of the cool night air, inhaling the slight hint of sage coming from the trees surrounding the backyard. The lit belowground pool shimmered like an aquamarine jewel as the gentle breeze blew over the water. While Mark’s place wasn’t as flat-out pimped as Leo’s—that man had some insanely expensive taste—I couldn’t deny the luxury surrounding me. As beautiful as his house was, and as welcoming as Mark could be, this place just didn’t feel like my home. Weeks of living here, and I still felt like I was a guest in his house.

I needed to get a place of my own, but there was no way I could afford the kind of security I had at Mark’s. The house was a luxurious fortress, and I felt safe here, even if I wasn’t entirely comfortable. I had a fleeting, aching memory of the last time I felt safe, in Ramón’s arms.

Trying to suppress a pang of longing, I rubbed my heels against the soft fabric of the lounge chair I sprawled in, watching my glittering toenail polish sparkle in the low light. “So, just tell her you don’t want to go.”

“I tried that. Dad’s even on my side, but Mom is determined to keep me from ‘throwing my life away on some foolish fantasy.’ Well, my fantasy isn’t foolish; it’s my dream. I’m going to make the most beautiful floral hair jewels you’ve ever seen!”

“Floral hair jewels?”

“Yes,” she breathed with a whisper filled with happiness. “Floral hair jewels. It combines everything I’ve been learning, and gives me the chance to grow some of the most beautiful orchids in the world. I’m going to start small—local weddings, prom, stuff like that—but I’m going to do live tutorials while I put the floral arrangements together. I plan on making the bulk of my income from advertising on my videos.”

“Where in the world did you get an idea like that?”

“You know my friend Usha from India? Her mom does it. I’ve learned from watching her work, and I’ve been looking into classes in floral design. I might branch out into corsages in the future, but for now I’m sticking to floral hair jewels. I even got an afterschool job at Millie’s Flowers, helping her run her shop.” She giggled, and I could help but smile in response to the happiness in her voice. “Paul’s work is right across the street, so I get the added bonus of some serious eye-candy when he’s in the office.”

I played with the hem of my silky black pajama pants and smiled. “Sounds like you have it all planned out.”

“I do. I know everyone thinks I’m this ditzy blonde airhead, but I know what I’m talking about. I just wish Mom could see that and stop making me try to live the life she wanted, like she did with you and Brittney.”

“What?”

“Oh, come on, you know it’s true. Mom’s pushed all of us to do what she wanted before she got pregnant with Brittney. Go to college, be wild, have a career, then get married. I mean, she’s like a stage mom in a weird way, but instead of reliving her youth by making you walk in a pageant, she makes you relive the youth she wished she had by encouraging you to party and date lots of guys.”

I sat there, stunned that my little sister had clearly seen what I’d been so blind to. “I never thought about it that way.”

“It’s not that hard to figure out. I mean, when you lived in the dorms, all she would ever talk about was how much fun you must be having, all the parties you attending. Now that you’re in a relationship, she wants to do the same thing with me that she did with you and Brittney. I don’t want that. I’m not into drugs, alcohol, or parties. I mean yeah, I smoke weed, but I’m not into doing keg stands or anything.”

“What does Dad say?”

“You know how he is, busy working. He did tell me that whatever I wanted to do was my decision. If I wanted to go to a trade school instead of a four-year college, he’d be more than happy to pay for it. He even said I could live at home until I saved up enough money for a place of my own, for however long I needed.”

“Dad is awesome.”

“He is, but I won’t be living with them after graduation.” She let out a little squeal, then whispered, “I’m going to move in with Paul.”

“Oh my God…Dad is going to lose his shit if you live with a guy before you get married.”

“Um, that’s kind of the reason I called. I was wondering if you could be there when I break the news to Mom and Dad? You’re a calming influence on Mom.”

“Me? A calming influence? You do remember the epic fights Mom and I have had, right? You’re the one who calms Mom down.”

“Fine, I need you there because you make me feel stronger.”

“Winter…” I swallowed hard, wishing I was as brave as she thought. “You don’t need me, but if you want me for moral support, I’ll be there. I can always say something to piss her off and divert her attention, so you can run away.”

“Should I have Paul there?”

Chewing on my lip, I shook my head after a moment. “No, you don’t want to spring something on them like this with Paul watching. We’ll just sit down, and you can tell them that after graduation you’re going to take some floral design and art classes, college-level courses, so you can learn your craft. You have the talent, I have no doubt about that, but you still need to learn the basics and the special little tricks that will make your work shine.”

“I love you,” Winter sighed. “You’re always on my side, and you know just what to say. You’re my hero.”

Laughing, I shook my head and stretched out. “I don’t know about that. On a serious note, don’t you think you’re a little young for this big of a step? Moving in with someone is huge.”

“Why can’t I meet my soulmate early? Why shouldn’t I be with the man I love? Paul is a man. I know he’s younger than you, but he’s a lot more mature. Besides, it’s not like we’re running off to get hitched. We just want to live together and see how it goes.”

“I think that’s a great idea.”

“Well, Mom’s going to think I’m dumb, like going to a technical college is something only people who can’t get into a ‘real’ college do.”

“Don’t listen to her. You’re smart, and brave, and awesome. Technical colleges are just as good as traditional. Be true to yourself. I’m so proud of you for going after what you want. I wish I’d been brave enough to follow my heart instead of trying to please Mom.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’ve—” I hesitated, wanting to protect Winter as much as possible from how screwed up my life had become. “I’ve been thinking a lot about my life, about what I’m doing with it, where it’s going, and if I’m really happy. I’ve thought about it, and I want what Grandma Rosa and Grandpa Pablo had. I want to be a stay-at-home mom, to raise my family and be there for them instead of working all the time like Mom did.”

“With Ramón?”

Again, I hesitated. I hadn’t told my family that we were no longer speaking. First, it was embarrassing to have someone just ghost on you like that. Second, my Mom was really happy with my relationship and asked all the time how he was doing. I hated to admit it even to myself, but there was a tiny part of me that still hoped he’d come through the door at any minute. That I’d wake up in bed with him at my side.

A pang of hurt lanced from my heart to my stomach, but I swallowed past the pain. “Maybe with Ramón. We haven’t been dating forever like you and Paul.”

“Yeah, that makes sense. But you’re so…driven about school. I thought you loved being a teacher? You’d give up all you’ve done, all you’ve gone to school for, to be a mom?”

I thought of the ideal life I’d imagined with Ramón and said without hesitation, “In a few years, absolutely.”

“Wow…I think you’ll be an amazing mom, but I also thought you’d be a great teacher. Don’t you like teaching anymore?”

Standing, I slowly paced along the wide, long cement back porch, moving in and out of the shadows of dim light coming from hidden spotlights while keeping my eyes open for scorpions and snakes attracted by the pool.

“Well, I do and I don’t. There are parts of being a teacher that I love, but the more I get into it, the more I realize being a classroom teacher isn’t what I want to do.”

“Well then, what do you want to do?”

The feeling of being in Ramón’s arms flashed through me and my voice came out thick as I said, “I don’t know anymore.”

“Are you crying?”

“No,” I sniffed and wiped my face. “I’m fine.”

“What’s going on with you? You’ve been weird over the past few weeks.”

“It’s nothing,” I said in a flat voice.

“Joy,” Winter snapped. “What is going on? Is the guy you’re staying with creeping on you? Do you need help?”

The thought of my sweet sister trying to rescue me from my situation made me laugh. “No, no creeping going on. I’m okay.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Really, I’m oaky. It’s just…boy problems.” I decided to give her part of the truth.

“What happened? Did Ramón cheat on you? Need me to nut punch him?”

“No, no. Thank you, but no. It’s fine. He went on a business trip and hasn’t been in touch in a few weeks. At first he’d text me and call me all the time, telling me he missed me, then radio silence.”

“Ugh, that’s not good.”

“I mean, Ramón’s in like some South American jungle or something, so he told me he’d be out of contact, but I didn’t think it would be for this long.”

“Maybe he really is someplace where they don’t have reception. Those places do exist, you know. And, I mean a few weeks isn’t that long. Then again, do you think he’s really away on business or just avoiding you?”

“No, he’s away on business. At least, I think he is.” I groaned and rubbed my eyes. “God, I don’t know if he was playing me, or if any of it was real, but I miss him, and I really wish he’d contact me and let me know what the fuck is going on.”

A sense of relief filled me as I made my way back to my lounge chair and now probably warm iced tea. I hadn’t been able to talk to anyone about Ramón, not even Hannah. She’d been so hurt, and her healing had been so rough on her, that when she finally came home to Leo’s place, I wanted her to be happy—not worried about me and my totally screwed up love life. I mean, in the grand scheme of things, who gave a fuck about my wounded heart when we had the shit beat out of us?

As far as I knew, no one had ever mentioned that Ramón and I were dating to Hannah. Shit, we’d only been together for a little while, so I knew I was blowing it all out of proportion in my head, but I’d really felt a connection to Ramón. Whenever I was at the Cordovas’, they wouldn’t talk about him unless I brought it up, then it was just brief and polite. Like I was a stranger asking about his life rather than his girlfriend. The things he said, the way he touched me, the way he looked at me, had all seemed so real. But how real could it be if he didn’t let his family know how important I was to him?

Memories assailed me of looking into his eyes, laughing with him, making love and just enjoying life with Ramón at my side.

Everything was just…better when he was around.

I didn’t realize how sad and empty my life had been until he was gone.

Winter sighed. “I gotta go. Mom’s yelling for me to do the dishes. Email me and let me know when you can come over for ‘the talk.’”

I groaned. “That’ll be a fun night.”

I could hear my mom’s voice in the background yelling for Winter to get her butt downstairs, and Winter said quickly, “Gotta go! Love you!”

“Love you too, honey.”