I looked out over the long stainless steel and glass table that dominated the conference room, making brief eye contact with every one of the people seated around it.

“Lastly, we’re proud to announce our newest drug, a promising treatment for Parkinson’s disease, has had spectacular results in the small clinical trials we’ve done so far. We’re also happy to announce that we will soon be able to open those trials to a larger audience.”

This declaration was met with pleased murmurs by the board members. They all knew our power as a cartel and a company would skyrocket. People would be willing to pay or do anything to get a shot at a cure, a chance at a longer life. While we always made sure to include worthy candidates who couldn’t afford it, the rest were the beloved of the movers and shakers of this world, because it never hurt to gain their loyalty.

The doors at the back of the room opened and Mark came in, his face tense and his eyes meeting mine. Right away, I could tell something was very wrong, and I cut my speech short. “Thank you for your time. I’ll now turn you over to my father.”

My dad, being the professional that he was, picked up the meeting where I’d left off as I made my way over to Leo and Mark. Instead of heading toward me, they started to leave the room. I hurried to catch up, not giving a shit that everyone was openly watching me. A terrible fear had begun to creep over me, tearing at my chest and sinking my stomach.

As soon as we were outside, Leo grabbed me by my shoulders and looked me dead in the eye. “Joy is missing. We have reason to believe Nova Santiago has her.”

“What!”

Mark grabbed me by one arm, Leo the other, and they practically dragged me down the hallway as they lowered their voices. “Listen, we’ll find her. She has multiple tracking devices all over, including your engagement ring. It’s only a matter of time until we get her back.”

“She could already be dead!”

We’d made it to the stairway, and my voice echoed all around us.

Leo shook his head. “No, don’t even think it. We’re going to find her.”

I couldn’t answer him, my mind too full of the horrors Joy could be enduring right at this moment. Nova Santiago was a thug through and through, an acting lieutenant for the Santiago cartel for a long time. I’d had a run in with him in the past, which hadn’t ended well for him, and I knew Joy was as good as dead if he knew who she was to me. The only consolation I had was he’d need to get permission from his higher ups before taking her out. Killing the fiancée of a Cordova would bring death raining down on them and they knew it, but those crazy fuckers would do it anyway.

My mother was waiting for us in the main control room of security floor, her back stiff as she stared at a map of Phoenix on the wall with a series of blinking red dots. Despite being perfectly dressed in a no doubt designer gown, there was a feeling of unraveling coming from her that plucked at my nerves.

She didn’t even notice we’d arrived until Leo said, “Judith, have we learned anything?”

When my mom turned around and looked at me, her eyes were red and swollen from crying. “Nothing. Tino found Joy’s satchel in the parking lot. Her purse was tossed on the side of the road about two blocks away. It looks like they were trying to get rid of any electronics that we could use to track her, but they haven’t taken away the ones in her rings or earrings yet.”

I’d initially felt guilt knowing practically everything I gave Joy had a minute tracker in it somewhere, but now I was glad. “Where is Joy?”

“I think here.” She pointed to a dot heading west, out of the city. “We have men on their way to intercept, but they’re about ten minutes away.”

I shrugged Mark and Leo off. “What the fuck happened?”

Leo spoke up, his deep voice gruff. “One of Joy’s students called Mark. It seems he had Mark’s number because Joy asked him to watch out for the kid, Devonlin. He said she freaked out about something and ran out of the school. Devonlin was following her into the parking lot where he saw Nova Santiago grab her and stuff her in a car then take off.”

I crouched down, nausea filling me, making my mouth water and my stomach cramp. “They’re going to kill her.”

“She’s a strong, smart girl. She’ll be okay until we can get to her.”

“She has fucking panic attacks! They’re going to kill her and all she can do is suffer! My woman could be dying out there right fucking now, and I can’t do anything to help her!”

My mother moved over to me then grabbed my face between her hands, forcing me to look at her. “We will find her, Ramón, I promise. She will be okay.”

I closed my eyes, fighting back the tears of grief, rage, and frustration as I whispered, “Somewhere, out there, right now Joy is terrified, praying for me to rescue her, and I can’t do a thing to help her.”

“Listen to me, Ramón. She will be okay. Joy is very smart, and she’s been training with Leo on how to defend herself.”

“Defend herself?” I barked out. “How the fuck is she going to defend herself against someone like Nova Santiago?”

My mother released my face and looked away, fiddling with her ring. “Have faith, Ramón. Joy will do whatever is necessary to save her own life, I’m certain of it.”

Something about what my mother said caught my attention. Before I could question her further, Mark interrupted us. “Come on, we’re going to take the helicopter. They’ve found Joy.”

“Thank the Blessed Mother. Is she okay?”

“She’s alive, but she’s been in a car accident. I don’t have the details, but I know they’re flying her to the hospital right now.”

 

Six hours later, I sat at Joy’s bedside, waiting for her to open her eyes. She had a broken leg, sprained wrist, and a mild concussion, along with cuts, scrapes, and bruises. Laying in the middle of her big hospital bed in her private suite, she looked so tiny and frail, but from what we learned at the scene of the accident Joy was anything but. We still weren’t totally sure what happened. Joy was the only one who survived the crash, but we’re pretty sure Joy somehow managed to stab Nova in both of his eye sockets with some sticks from her hair, then she literally tore the driver’s eyes out.

I had no fucking clue what to make of that.

Looking down at her, I was proud as hell that she’d fought them off, that she’d managed to basically rescue herself, but I was also really worried about the aftermath. Joy was so kind-hearted, so sweet, that I wondered if she’d feel guilt for killing those bastards. Holding her limp but warm hand in my own, I continued my constant vigil at her side while people filtered in and out of the room.

The doctors said to allow her wake up on her own, but I was having a hard time letting her sleep. I wanted to see her open those beautiful green eyes, to know that she was okay. We’d learned that the reason Joy had run was because she’d finally figured out the dark side of my family’s empire, and I couldn’t help but wonder if she would still love me. The thought of losing her forever threatened my sanity, so I focused on watching her sleep and counting her breaths.

Voices hummed behind me, Hannah and my mother talking softly while Leo spoke with my father near the door. Joy’s parents were on their way and should be here soon. We had guards stationed outside, and the floor was secure as could be, but I still felt better knowing Leo was there. So far, we’d managed to keep the media at bay, but eventually someone would find out that my fiancée had been involved in a car crash and kidnapping. Thankfully, our lawyers would make sure Joy was protected, but I still hated her being exposed like this.

Joy’s hand twitched in mine, and I instantly sat up straight, leaning over her bed to study her face. Her eyes moved behind her closed eyelids, and her breathing picked up. I waited, not wanting to startle her.

“Joy?”

Instantly, the room got quiet and everyone moved closer to the bed.

Her eyelids fluttered open, and she squinted.

“Joy?” I tried again, needing to hear her voice. “Sweetheart, can you hear me?”

She nodded slowly, then turned her head to look at me. She whispered in a ragged voice, “Where am I?”

“You’re in the hospital. Can you remember how you got here?”

Her brows drew down, and she tried to lift her broken leg, then winced. “No. Why am I here?”

My mother joined me, her hand resting on Joy’s blanket-covered leg. “You’re okay, darling. You were in a car accident. What’s the last thing you remember?”

“Need water,” she rasped. I helped her sit up while Hannah poured her a cup then handed it to her friend

“Thanks,” Joy said in a stronger voice then groaned. “My head hurts.”

“You have a mild concussion, in addition to your other injuries.”

Looking down at her arm encased in a cast, she frowned. “I remember driving to my tutoring job…but that’s it. What happened?”

I hesitated, torn between telling the truth and upsetting her or distracting her.

My mother took the choice out of my hands by saying, “A man by the name of Nova Santiago tried to abduct you from the school.”

“What?” Her grip on my hand tightened. “I don’t remember.”

“It’s okay,” I soothed after giving my mom a disapproving glare. “Don’t worry about that now. You’re safe.”

Joy shook her head, then groaned. “Everything hurts.”

“Take it easy,” Hannah said in a soft voice while she crouched down by Joy’s bedside. “The only thing you have to worry about is getting better, okay?”

Looking up at me, Joy whispered, “I’m so confused.”

My mother spoke up again, “Everything is going to be okay. You saved yourself.”

“Save myself…” Joy’s gaze went distant. “I remember that. Save myself. It kept repeating over and over in my head…but I don’t know why. I can’t remember.”

“Ms. Holtz,” came a woman’s voice from the doorway. “So good to see you awake. I’m Dr. Francis. How are you feeling?”

The older doctor with her white hair in a bun made her way into the crowded room, trailed by other physicians and a few nurses.

“Fine,” Joy said, then winced. “Okay, maybe not fine.”

The doctor checked her tablet then looked over at me where I still sat, holding Joy’s hand protectively. “Mr. Cordova, if you could give us some room, I’d like to take a look at Ms. Holtz.”

I waited until they were done, hovering over them while they asked Joy questions until my mother dragged me over to the corner of the room. “Ramón, let them work.”

By the time they were done, exhaustion lined Joy’s face. I knew the accelerated healing drugs we had Dr. Francis give her were kicking in. I knew all too well how drained she would be feeling, so when I resumed my station by the side of her bed, I stroked her hair and whispered for her to go to sleep. She did, holding my hand and looking into my eyes while I told to her how much I loved her before she lost the fight and slept.

 

I had no idea what time it was when I woke up later that night, but it was dark and the usually busy hospital was quiet. Joy’s parents had arrived earlier and were now staying with my parents. Everyone had gone home except for me and my guards, though Leo had to practically drag Hannah out. I stirred in my chair that pulled out into a bed next to Joy, wondering what had woken me up.

Then I heard Joy crying.

I tossed the blanket off and moved to her side, sitting on the edge of the bed and looking down at my woman as she sobbed. “Hey, hey, Joy, it’s okay.”

“It’s not okay,” she cried in a raw voice. “You’re a criminal.”

That was one of the last things I expected her to say. “What?”

“I remember. Devonlin said the Cordova cartel.” The rest came out garbled as she turned her face into her pillow.

“Joy, I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“I’m in love with a monster!”

That hurt, but I’d been preparing for this moment since I decided to make Joy my own. Too bad all my pretty speeches and explanations seemed weak as shit. Still, I had to try, because losing Joy was unacceptable.

“I’m not a monster.”

She peeked at me through swollen eyes. “Is it true? Is there a Cordova cartel?”

I met her gaze, even though it pained me. “Yes.”

Her lower lip trembled. “And you…you do bad things?”

“I guess that depends on who you ask.”

“Do you…do you hurt people?”

“We don’t hurt innocent people.”

I took her uninjured hand in my own, grateful when she didn’t jerk away. “But you’re criminals.”

“We are. The things we do aren’t always legal, but we don’t just randomly go out destroying people.”

“Wh-what do you do?” Tears filled her eyes again. “Are you like the Santiagos? Do you sell women?”

“No!” I lowered my voice, hating that I made her jump. “No, sweetheart, we’re nothing like those sick fucks.”

“So, you don’t sell women?”

We had a thriving prostitution business, but I don’t think that’s what she meant. “No, we don’t kidnap and sell women. We don’t do human trafficking of any kind. We specialize in drugs.” She tried to pull her hand away, but I wouldn’t let her. “Yeah, we sell recreational drugs, but that’s not where our money comes from. We also sell cutting edge cures, things the FDA hasn’t approved, medicines that are desperately needed, but people can’t get their hands on for various reasons. Cancer drugs, infertility drugs, experimental treatments and therapies that save people’s lives.”

For a long moment she stared at me, searching my face. “But you also sell recreational drugs.”

“I’m not going to lie to you Joy, we do, but I swear to you, we don’t hurt innocents.”

“Your mom…your dad. They’re the head of the cartel?”

“They are.”

I waited, my muscles tense with the need to keep her, to make her love me, to never let me go, but at this moment I was powerless.

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

“Yes. I had planned on telling you after we got married.”

Her gaze flicked to mine. “After?”

“I didn’t want to give you a chance to run. I love you, Joy, with everything I have. I’d walk away from it all. Today, if that’s what it took to keep you.”

She frowned. “You would?”

“I would, but I’m afraid it would put us in grave danger to be without the protection of my family, so I beg you not to ask that of me.”

“Hannah…does she know?”

“Yes.”

“But she didn’t tell me?”

“She couldn’t. Leo made her promise not to until I had a chance to talk to you first. She didn’t like it, but she understood the need to keep you unaware, to protect you as much as we could from the truth.”

Joy closed her eyes and turned her head away from me, but didn’t let go of my hand. “I don’t know what to do. I should hate you, be disgusted by all of this…but I can’t. I love you. Does that make me a terrible person?”

“No, sweetheart, not at all. You’re the best person I know, the absolute best. You are everything good in this world, everything we’re trying to protect. If it wasn’t for the Cordova cartel, people like the Santiago’s would have free rein to spread the evil. We keep them in check, we fight where the government can’t, do what the police won’t. They come to us when they have a problem they can’t handle.”

“The police come to you?”

“Yeah. Cops, politicians, lawyers, priests. They all know they can come to us for help they can’t get anywhere else.”

“For a price.”

“For a price,” I agreed, waiting to see how Joy would react.

Letting out a big sigh, she whispered, “Can you please hold me? I’m so tired, and the only time I feel safe is in your arms. How messed up is that?”

Moving as quickly as I could, I slid into the bed next to her, careful of her IV and broken leg. Once I was lying on my side looking down at her, she burrowed into my chest and got as close to me as she physically could. I held her against me, thanking God, the Blessed Mother, and all the saints, that Joy hadn’t rejected me, at least not yet.

“I’m so sorry you got hurt today,” I whispered against the top of her head. “When I found out you’d been taken…when I thought I’d never get to see you again, I thought my heart was going to stop.”

“I know how you feel.” She tilted her head up from my chest so her words weren’t muffled. “When you were missing, I felt the same way. I was so lost without you, Ramón.”

“Never again, sweetheart. I swear, I’ll do a better job protecting you.”

She shivered against me. “I killed those men, didn’t I?”

“Can you remember anything about what happened?”

She went through her abduction, but her voice turned odd, cold as she talked about killing Nova. Almost clinical in her detachment, like she was talking about someone else. I listened carefully, grateful beyond words that she’d managed save herself, even as I mourned the loss of her innocence.

“You did what you had to do, never doubt that.”

She rubbed her face against my shirt, getting it damp with her tears. “I know. Trust me, I know. And this may sound messed up, but I’m kinda proud of myself. Proud that I didn’t sit there and cry like a victim. Proud that, even when I was so scared I was about to puke, I pulled it together enough to eliminate the threat.”

Once again, her voice went odd, cold, and I hugged her closer. “You’re amazing, Joy. I love you.”

“God help me, Ramón, but I love you to. More than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything.”

“Do you forgive me for not telling you the truth sooner?”

I held my breath, hoping against hope.

“This…this is a lot to deal with.”

“It is.” The bed creaked beneath us as I shifted into a more comfortable position, my gaze on the closed door, my men visible through the window flanking it. “But I’m here to help you. So is Hannah, and my family.”

“It all makes sense now,” she said in a low voice while petting my chest with her free hand. “There were so many things that didn’t seem right…but I ignored them, or tried to pretend I didn’t notice, but I did. I think I’ve known for a while, I just…was in denial or something.”

“I’m sorry,” I said again, unable to find anything better to say to try and convey just how much I meant it. “Please forgive me. Please tell me you’re not leaving me.”

“No, no I’m not leaving you.” She took a deep breath, then let it out, the warmth seeping through my shirt. “My mom would shoot me for saying this, but I felt so lost without you. You make me happy, really and truly happy. Even knowing you’re a criminal doesn’t make me love you any less.”

“That’s because what we’ve got, me and you, it’s stronger than anything on this earth. I will do anything, absolutely anything, for you.”

Her body softened against mine, her breath evening out. “I’m so tired.”

“Accelerated healing medicines. They’ll wipe you out, but you’ll heal in half the time.” I pressed my face into the soft mass of her curls. “One of the perks of being the fiancée of a cartel lord.”

Her giggle was soft, but my heart rejoiced. “Well, that is a nice bonus.”

“Go to sleep, mi amor. I won’t let anything harm you.”

“I know.”