chapter fourteen
Max
“TELL ME SOMETHING ABOUT YOU. something you’ve never admitted to anyone else.”
Lily’s softly whispered request makes my entire body stiffen and I will myself to loosen the hell up. She’s stroking my chest with her fingernails, her naked body half draped over mine as we sit on the sandy shore, our legs still submerged in the water. Not ten minutes ago I’d been inside her, pounding away, making her beg and plead and cry out incoherently, and now she’s trying to find her way inside me. Inside my thoughts, my past, my secrets.
No way can I let her in. I say one wrong thing and my cover is blown. Bad enough how much I’ve put myself at risk. Fucking around with my subject when I should be following her, plotting my next move so I can get what my client wants.
Instead, I’m plotting ways to get inside Lily Fowler’s body again. Talk about messed up.
“There’s nothing to tell,” I say, keeping my voice deceptively casual. More like there’s nothing I want to tell.
“Oh, come on.” She lifts her head, her gaze meeting mine, steady and true. She’s so pretty like this, her skin still flushed from our lovemaking, her hair in disarray, her lips swollen from my kisses. “You can’t give me a little something? Just a hint? I feel like I hardly know you.”
“Isn’t that the point of a vacation fling?” I swear I see hurt flicker in the depths of her eyes just before she looks away and I immediately feel like an asshole. “You know what I mean,” I say, my voice softening.
“Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.” She rolls away from me and stands just as I sit up, her ass practically in my face. She walks over to where we hastily tore off our clothes and slips on her shorts—sans panties, since they’re probably still floating in the water somewhere—then jerks on her tank, messing up her already wild, damp hair. “I just thought …” Her voice drifts and she shakes her head, a small laugh falling from her lips though she doesn’t sound happy. “Never mind.”
“You thought what?” I stand as well and go to her, grabbing my clothes from the ground and casually putting them on. Her back is to me, her shoulders stiff, as she steps into her flip-flops. “That we’ve had sex a few times and now we should play true confessions?”
Lily whirls on me, indignation flaring in her eyes. “Yes, okay? You’re right. Is that a crime? I thought—I don’t know what I thought. All I know is I like you.” Her expression doesn’t change when she says that, though I can feel mine changing, I’m so shocked by her admission. “I wanted to maybe, I don’t know, find out a few more things about you besides that you’re from Texas and you’re an expert kisser. Oh, and an expert rescuer. That’s all I have. All I know about you.”
Expert kisser? I figure Lily Fowler’s kissed a bunch of guys—and no, the thought of her kissing a bunch of guys doesn’t make me jealous at all.
Not really.
Keep convincing yourself.
Nice to know that I rate highly at least. “Isn’t that enough?” I ask her softly. I don’t want her to know anything else. I thought she preferred the casual fling, the anonymity of a revolving door of lovers. That’s how they make her look in the press.
Maybe they’re wrong.
“Not really, but I guess it’ll have to do.” She rests her hands on her hips, drawing my gaze to her shapely body, the way her tits look beneath the tank top without a bra. High and firm, I can just make out the outline of her hard nipples poking against the thin fabric and just like that, my cock twitches back to life.
Unbelievable.
“Why do you care?” I ask with a shrug, trying to figure out her motives. Does she have suspicions? Is she faking me out with the I like you speech because she has a hunch that I’m up to no good?
Because her hunch would be correct.
“Do I really have to explain myself again?” She crosses her arms in front of her chest, plumping up her breasts so they curve above the neckline of her tank top. “Didn’t you hear me the first time? I like you, Max. I’m trying to get to know you beyond the—sex stuff.”
“Did you just stumble over the word sex, baby girl?” I tilt my head. “After I just made you come all over my cock a few minutes ago?”
She shakes her head, a little smile curling her lips. “Stop teasing. You know what I mean.”
I leave her alone. May as well turn this around and work it so I’m the one asking questions, not her. “So what more do you want to know?” I throw my arms out wide, then let them fall at my sides. “There’s not much. I’m a pretty boring guy.”
“I find that hard to believe.” She arches a delicate brow. “But I know what you mean. I’m incredibly boring, too.”
“Uh-huh.” Give me a fucking break. She’s had a crazy life, traveled everywhere, has all the money she could ever want, and is a constant figure in the media. And what is she? All of twenty-five? “Tell me about the belly ring,” I demand. If we’re going to play this game, she gets to give up information first.
“What do you want to know?” She briefly glances down at her stomach before returning her attention to me.
“How old were you when you got it? Why did you get one?”
“Sixteen.” Her voice softens and I take a step closer to hear her better. “I did it to make my dad mad.”
“Did it work?”
“Oh, yeah He was furious. Grounded me and everything, though that didn’t work. I still snuck out and saw my friends.” Her cheeks color the slightest bit, and I’m surprised that I made her blush. “It was stupid. And the piercing hurt like crazy. Got infected because I didn’t take care of it at first, I was so ignorant about the entire process. Just … a really dumb move on my part.”
“Typical teenage rebellion, more like.” I pause. “Yet you kept it.”
“I like it.” She shrugs. “It’s fun to find pretty stones to wear, change them out.”
“I like it, too.” I smile. “I think it’s sexy.” Nothing I like better than teasing the dangling stones with my tongue, feeling her belly quiver when I do.
Her cheeks turn even pinker. Probably remembering how much I like to play with it. “Okay, your turn.”
“My turn?” I press a hand to my chest.
“Well, yeah. I just shared a little piece of me, so now you need to share a little piece of you.”
“What do you want to know?” I ask warily. All I asked about was her belly ring and it turned personal in a snap. Whatever she’s going to ask me has the potential to do the same. And I don’t like it.
“Your tattoo.” She reaches out and touches my arm, drifting her fingers across my biceps. “When did you get it?”
“After I came back from Afghanistan.” I take a deep breath and my lungs seize up, just like they always do when I talk about the time I served over there.
I’ve been told by enough therapists and caring family members over the years to know it’s not good to keep all the memories locked inside, but … who the hell wants to talk about death and destruction? About an unnecessary war and the killing of innocent people? Of soldiers and strong men and women who were fighting for their country?
And how I blame myself for so many of my friends’ deaths? Fuck, that’s not fun. It’s miserable. Depressing. “It’s so I never forget the friends I lost over there,” I admit, noting the slight tremor in my voice. I wonder if she noticed.
I hope she didn’t.
“Oh.” Her eyes grow sad and she touches me again, her fingers caressing my forearm. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, well, that’s life.” My words sound flippant, meaningless, even to my own ears, and I immediately regret them. “We should probably get going and hike back to the Jeep. It’s getting late.”
“Yeah. Okay.” She nods, her hand falling away from my arm, and I miss her touch. “Let’s go.”
She follows me back up the trail, never complaining once, though the hike is steep and the ground uneven. She doesn’t say a word, either, and after a while, her silence is unnerving. I wonder what’s going through her head. I wonder if she regrets being with me.
I also wonder why the hell I’m thinking like this when I know what I’m doing with Lily isn’t right. I should say something extra shitty to push her away. Make her regret ever meeting me.
But I don’t. I can’t make myself do it, no matter how much I know I should.
“So, where are you from?” I ask out of the blue, making her pause. I know this because I don’t hear her footsteps against the gravelly trail any longer, and I turn around to find her watching me, her mouth gaping open. “What’s wrong?” She probably didn’t like my question, but tough shit. I want to see just how forthcoming she’ll be with me.
“I—” She shakes her head, flashing me a fake smile. “Did you say something?”
“Yeah, I asked where you’re from.” I wait, anxious for the lie I’m sure is coming. No way is she going to be honest with me now. It’s like I want her to lie, just to prove to myself that I shouldn’t feel guilty for what I’m doing. I’m lying? I’m tricking her? Well, guess what, she’s doing the same thing.
“New York.” Her smile fades. “Born and bred.”
Guess she’s going for the truth. And now I feel even more like shit. “Tough city girl,” I tease, and she shakes her head, waving a hand as she starts walking again. I fall into step beside her. “Not quite sure what you see in a simple guy like me.”
“Please. You are the farthest thing from simple,” she says, incredulity in her tone. “And I wouldn’t call myself a tough city girl. More like a spoiled-rotten city girl.”
“You don’t act spoiled rotten,” I tell her, earning a surprised look. “I’m serious. You’re pretty easygoing.” I haven’t seen one sign of the spoiled, rich, horrible brat that the media portrays her as. Makes me think they’ve got it all wrong.
“Yeah, well, I am. At least, according to my family and … everyone else who knows me,” she mutters, shaking her head.
“Like your mom and dad? Wouldn’t it be their fault, if they consider you spoiled?” I ask casually, already knowing her background. Curious to see how she answers.
“My mom died when I was little.” She doesn’t so much as look at me when she says that, keeping her head bent, her eyes on the ground.
“I’m sorry.” Now it’s my turn to feel as awkward as she probably did when I told her about my tattoo.
Lily lifts her head, a sunny smile plastered on her face. Fake as hell. “Yeah, well, that’s life, right?” She’s repeating my false words right back to me.
And it sucks.
“Right,” I say firmly.
“What about your family?” she asks.
“What about them?” Shit. I don’t want to do this, but she’s making it so easy. She makes me want to tell her stuff, share with her intimate details, which is fucking insane. I can’t give this girl any information. She could use it against me later.
When she finds out I’m working for Pilar.
“Do you have brothers or sisters? Are your parents married or divorced?” She pauses, then blurts, “I have two sisters. I’m the oldest. My dad never remarried, but he has a girlfriend none of us can stand.”
I’m shocked that she’d reveal so much. “I have a brother, he’s older. My parents are still together. My dad is retired military and my mom stayed at home to raise us.” I hope like hell this is enough information to keep her happy so this game of sharesies is over and done with. I’m putting an end to it right now. “You doing okay there, princess? This hill is steep.”
“I’m fine.” She sends me a shy glance, then bends her head again. “Barely making it with the flip-flops, but I’ll survive.”
“Hell.” I step right in her path, my back to her as she comes to an abrupt stop. “Get on my back. I’ll carry you the rest of the way up.”
“I couldn’t. You already carried me to the waterfall. I can’t expect you to carry me back to the Jeep.”
“Don’t fight me.” I look over my shoulder and send her a meaningful glare, one that says I’m not going to let her argue. “I’ll just end up carrying you anyway, so be agreeable.”
“Bossy man,” she mumbles as she takes a few steps back like she did last time, giving herself distance so she can hurry toward me and tackle my back.
I grasp her to me with ease, my hands curved around the back of her knees, her slender arms wrapped lightly around my neck. She presses her cheek next to mine for the briefest moment before her mouth goes to my ear. “Thank you for humoring me.”
“Carrying you is never a burden,” I reassure her. More like a tricky form of torture, since I can feel her soft, tempting body wrapped all around me.
“I wasn’t talking about that, though I’m thanking you for that, too.” She pauses, gasping and tightening her arms around my neck when I climb a particularly steep part of the trail with no problem whatsoever. Years in the military is excellent training for this kind of hike. “I’m referring to when I asked about your tattoo. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, either. Besides, you were straight with me, so I thought I would be straight with you.” And it’s the truth. I couldn’t keep everything from her when she was so forthcoming in regards to my question. Yeah, we’re talking surface stuff here. Silly stuff. Non-important stuff, like tattoos and belly rings, but little slivers of our personal lives came out with those revelations regardless.
Not enough to do either of us any damage, but it allowed me a glimpse into the secret world of Lily, the world Lily doesn’t let just anyone see. And damn it, now I want to see more.