chapter nineteen
Max
LIKE THE DICK I AM, I walked her to her bungalow, claiming I wanted to tuck her in.
“Can’t I just stay the night in your room?” she’d whispered as she’d rubbed her hands all over my chest, her sexy body scooting closer to mine.
I’d slipped out of my bed and gathered up her clothes, thrusting her dress and panties out toward her. “Get dressed, princess.” I ignored what she said, and she was still a little drunk, a little too out of it to question me further.
She let me into her bungalow—through the locked front door since she didn’t keep the slider unlocked anymore, thank God—and I steered her toward the bedroom, helping her strip out of her clothes before I took her by the shoulders and gently pushed her into bed.
“Don’t go.” She held her arms out to me, the sheet falling to her waist, those spectacular breasts on display just for me. I see a red mark on her neck and I know that’s from my lips. Pride fills me, swift and sharp, and I tell myself I’m an asshole for getting a thrill out of marking her, but that doesn’t matter.
It still makes me proud. Makes me want to beat my chest, grab Lily by the hair, and proclaim to the world that she’s mine.
Fucking ridiculous.
“Come here.” I stretch out beside her on the bed, above the covers, because I know if I slip below them, I’ll start touching her again and then I’m done for.
She snuggles into my arms, a sigh escaping her as she rests her head against my chest. I press a kiss to the top of her head and rest my chin there, willing myself to resist her despite how good she feels, how delicious she smells. I just had her not even twenty minutes ago. We had sex three times in the span of no more than ninety minutes and it was fucking amazing every single time.
But then she started to fade. Lots of yawning. A few silly giggles, her eyes falling closed, and she’d cuddled with the pillow. Too much alcohol was putting Lily under, and I knew this might be my only chance to get back to her bungalow. She was reluctant, she put up a fight, but now here she is, in my arms, soft and sweet and trusting, and I’m feeling like the biggest asshole on the planet.
I can’t believe I’m going through with this. I’ve had ample chances and blew every one of them on purpose. I told myself I couldn’t take it from her, not yet. My motives were purely selfish. Every single time I was with her, in this bungalow, when I had my chance … I told myself no. One more afternoon with Lily. One more night with Lily. One more kiss, one more time inside her body …
Why the fuck does Pilar need the damn laptop so desperately anyway? What could be on it? What did Lily discover about the woman who is dating her father? She has something on Pilar. She must. Lily’s smart. But so is fucking Pilar. She’s calculating, too. Mean as hell.
Dangerous.
“Tell me we’ll hang out again tomorrow,” she says sleepily.
My heart seizes in my chest. “We will.”
Liar.
“Tell me we won’t fight and say stupid stuff.”
“We won’t.” That isn’t a lie. We can’t fight if we’re not together.
“Good.” She sighs and kisses my chest, her lips damp and warm and making me shiver. “I like you, Max. I like you a lot.”
I’m miserable. Why does she have to go and say something like that and worm her way into my hard-as-steel heart? Fuck this, I didn’t mean to … fall for her. Not that I’ve fallen for her for real, more like I’m physically attracted to Lily and I find her hard to resist.
Admit it, you’ve fallen for her, you heartless bastard.
Fine. I have. But I’m not heartless. My heart is beating like crazy, pounding to a rhythm that suspiciously sounds like her name. Li-ly. Li-ly. It’s fucking crazy. I’m crazy.
Crazy for her.
Sighing, I keep my gaze fixed on the window across from us, staring at it until my vision goes fuzzy and I close my eyes. Lily’s body grows heavier and heavier and her breathing evens out, indicating she’s fallen asleep.
A few minutes, I tell myself. I’ll stay with her a few minutes and wait until she’s in a deep sleep and then I’m out of here with what I came for.
Problem is, I fall asleep, too. For a couple of hours—and I dream. Horrible, shitty dreams that feel so damn real. I’m escaping the bungalow, the laptop clutched tight in my hands, and Lily catches me. Tears stream down her face as she yells how much she trusted me and I hurt her so bad. That she hates me. She hates me so much, she’ll never talk to me again.
I beg for her forgiveness. I try and hand her back the laptop but she won’t take it. She keeps refusing it and I become more insistent, shoving the damn laptop toward her, pushing it into her stomach …
And then she turns into Pilar and she’s laughing at me. The sound is mocking, shrill, and she snatches the laptop from my grip. I clamp my hands over my ears and try to turn away so I don’t have to look at her but it’s as though I can’t. She laughs and laughs, her mouth getting wider and wider, like a black hole, and then she’s coming toward me, the laptop held over her head, as if she’s going to hit me with it.
I startle awake, lifting my head, holding back the groan that wants to escape at the pain in my neck from sleeping in such a weird position. Lily is still snug against me, her head fitting perfectly between my shoulder and neck, and slowly I disentangle myself from her, slipping from beneath her inch by careful inch. She never wakes, I’m able to adjust her into position in her bed, and I tug the sheet and comforter up higher, covering her to her neck.
I stand above her for a moment, blinking hard as I try to wake myself up. She looks so beautiful, so peaceful, lying there on her side. Her lips are pursed, her hair is a wavy mess, and she’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.
I don’t want to walk away. I want to keep her. I want her to be mine. We could really be something, Lily and I. I know we could. We’re more alike than even I care to admit. I think we could be good for each other. Good together.
But we can’t. I have to do this. It’s my job. And my job—my business—is all I have. Despite how I feel about Lily, there are no guarantees. I must take that fucking laptop, despite my never wanting to do it since I got here, hating Pilar Vasquez and her shitty demands.
Closing my eyes, I tighten my hands into fists and take a deep breath. I’m being completely irrational. This woman … I don’t know what could happen between us, but it’s not real. It can’t be real. I’m too caught up in this tropical location, the pretending I’m on vacation. If she finds out the truth, I’m fucked. I need to go. Just … grab that fucking laptop and leave. But this is the last time I’ll be with her, look at her, touch her …
Reaching out, I streak my fingers across her cheek, lightly. She shifts and sighs, her eyelashes fluttering, and I snatch my hand back, praying she won’t wake up.
She doesn’t. I can’t help but be relieved—and a little disappointed, too. If she woke up, I’d have no choice but to stay.
I take a deep breath and go to the closet, quietly sliding the door open. Stepping inside, I reach for the laptop, not surprised at all to find it in the exact spot that I last saw it.
Holding it close to my chest, I make my escape from the bungalow.
And never once look back.