chapter eighteen
Max
I TOOK HER TO DINNER, to torture myself and to give us some much needed distance. My irrational anger at her getting herself off by humping my dick while I had my swim trunks on still simmered low in my gut, which was ridiculous. But I didn’t like how she defied me, how she did what she wanted despite my telling her not to.
It was the first time she’d done that since we’d started playing this sick game and it made me mad. Made me feel out of control. I didn’t like it.
At all.
I really wanted to walk out on her and never look back, but I couldn’t. Not only because I flat-out can’t leave her, but I have a job to do and by God, I’m going to finish it. Plus, if I left her and gave back Pilar her fucking money, that bitch would send some other dick after Lily instead and God knows what would happen. So I’m protecting her.
Yeah, keep telling yourself that, jackass.
The idea of not having this last moment with her hurts more than I care to admit. It was Lily’s idea to suggest a hands-off approach for tonight and like a dumbass, I agreed.
“No sex,” she’d said, her expression stony, her gaze steady. Though I saw the slight flicker in her eyes. She was probably afraid I’d tell her no and leave her. Like I could. “We only seem to piss each other off.”
Easy for her to say—she already got her orgasm for the day.
“Fine,” I said, rubbing a hand over my face, ready to agree to anything so I could see her again. I almost blew it, getting so mad at her. But this is what happens when you get yourself physically and emotionally involved with someone you have no business being with.
Heavy emphasis on the word business.
We went to a restaurant in the resort, a place that was dark and expensive and served up intoxicating, exotically named drinks. Lily had three and I had two and she was a little giggly, a lot beautiful, helping me forget my anger, the tension that radiated through me over what I was about to do.
Steal from her. Betray her.
I’ve done a lot of things in my life that I didn’t like or that I didn’t want to do, but I always did them honestly. With integrity, though I know of others who would disagree with me, especially from my military past. Going off the mental deep end still embarrasses me when I think about it, but what’s done is done. My family accepted me back into the fold, even though my brother Sam thought I was a complete dumbass at first. He served his time in the military, left after four years, and is now a cop, just like our dad. He did everything right.
I, on the other hand, did everything wrong. Guess Lily and I have more in common than I first thought.
But never have I done something so dishonest, so cruel. So fucking risky, both to me and to Lily. I can’t study my subject with an objective eye. I’ve had her every which way I could sexually. I know the taste of her lips, the taste of her pussy, the way it feels when it clamps tight around my cock before she comes. I’m in way too fucking deep.
I like her. A lot. If I’d met her under any other circumstance, I’d pursue her relentlessly until I made her mine. Pretty much like I’m doing right now. The difference?
There’s no choice. I have to walk away. And I don’t want to.
The minute I pay the dinner bill I’m on my feet, offering my hand to Lily. Our conversation when we first arrived at the restaurant had been stilted. Awkward. She knew I was mad—though I was more angry at myself than at her—and it pissed her off, too, so we had a sort of standoff across the table from each other.
I gave in first. I needed an opportunity to get back to her bungalow. To spend time with her alone. Once our food came—and we were both on our second drink—the conversation flowed, the flirtation grew, and I knew I had her.
She is too damn easy. I feel like a complete asshole for thinking like that.
I passed on a third drink because I wanted to keep my wits about me, and too much alcohol would result in me falling into a deep sleep later. Something I can’t do considering I need to stay awake past Lily so I can grab that fucking laptop.
“Thank you for dinner,” she says after we leave the restaurant, reaching out to touch my arm as we walk side by side. Her fingers burn my skin and I almost pull away from her, but instead I stop, my fingers curling around her wrist so I can pull her in closer. She goes willingly, her eyes wide, her lips parting.
Looking sexy as hell.
Doesn’t help that her hair is up, revealing her edible neck, and she’s wearing a strapless bright green dress that makes her skin appear extra golden. Large, thin gold hoops dangle from her ears and a delicate long gold chain hangs from her neck to rest between her breasts.
She’s not just sexy, she’s also beautiful. Sweet. I want more of her. So much more … but I can’t have it.
“I should’ve never agreed to the conditions you put on tonight,” I mutter, running my gaze over her body, wishing it were my hands trailing all over her.
She laughs, her eyes sparkling, her cheeks the faintest pink. I made the secret dirty girl blush again? Go figure. “Are you the type who wants what you can’t have?”
“Not usually.” My fingers tighten around her wrist. With her, yes, a thousand times yes. “I tend to just go for it.”
Lily presses her lips together, and I feel her heart rate speed up since my fingers are pressing directly against her pulse. “Like you did with me before?”
“Exactly.” She’s so close, I can nuzzle her hair, breathe in her sweet scent. Damn, the woman smells good. Fragrant and fresh, rich and decadent, a contradicting combination I want more of.
Just one more taste. One more night.
“I never go against a lady’s wishes, though,” I tell her, stepping away. I see the disappointment cross her face and it matches the disappointment that spreads through me. I mean what I say but I’m hoping … I’m fucking praying she’ll give in and let me have her. At least one more time. “I may be an asshole, but I’m not that much of one.”
“Sometimes …” She moistens her lips, the luscious, shiny curve of her bottom lip sending a bolt of lust straight to my dick. “The lady says things too rashly. She has a bad habit of not thinking things through.”
Hope sparks within me. Stupid, idiotic hope. I squash it down. I shouldn’t do this. Shouldn’t want this. But I do. God, I do. “Does she, now?”
“Oh yes. All the time. Usually it ends up with her doing something she regrets. She tends to make a lot of mistakes,” Lily admits softly.
I don’t know what she’s talking about. Past regrets? Possibly. I understand that. “Does she think what happened between us is a mistake?”
Slowly she shakes her head, taking a step toward me. Her body brushes against mine and it’s like my entire being has been lit on fire. “Maybe. I don’t know. But I don’t care. Some things are just too hard to fight.”
I give in to my urges and touch her. Cup her cheek, tilt her head back, and I know by the way she parts her lips that she’s ready, eager for me to kiss her. I love how responsive she is to me. It makes me feel like I can conquer the whole damn world. “I won’t do a thing until you say the word.”
Her delicate brows draw down as she stares up at me. “What word is that?”
Leaning in so close my mouth hovers above hers, I whisper, “Yes.”
Her breath wafts across my lips, minty and sweet from the chocolate mint I saw her pop in her mouth as we exited the restaurant. She tilts her head back the slightest bit, aligning our mouths perfectly, and murmurs, “Take me to your room, Max.”
I settle my lips on hers, not caring that we’re surrounded by people as they exit and enter the restaurant. The Hawaiian music that plays fades to the background, as does all the chatter. All I can see and hear and taste is Lily, the perfect offering to placate my raging need. She tastes like heaven, her mouth opening eagerly to mine, our tongues sliding.
She draws away from me before the kiss gets too out of control and keeps her hold on my wrist, my hand still at her cheek. “So is that a yes?” I ask.
Nodding, she kisses the side of my jaw. “Yes.”
UNFORTUNATELY I COULDN’T CONVINCE her to go to her bungalow. She was adamant about seeing my room, so here we are, frustration rippling through me as I escort her down the hall toward my door. My mind is scrambling, trying to come up with a plan B, but then she looks at me, the smile on her face soft, her eyes glowing, and fuck, all plans to take what belongs to her are obliterated from my brain.
All I can think about, all I can focus on, is Lily.
Maybe I don’t need to grab that laptop after all. I can destroy whatever evidence is on the damn thing and somehow prove it to Pilar. Hell, I can make a copy of everything on it and give it to her. Though that would probably not ease her mind. I don’t think anything will pacify her. She’s as high strung as they come.
We’re silent as Lily enters my hotel room, her gaze scanning the interior, as if she’s looking for clues. Hints of what makes me tick. I’m sure she’s disappointed by the cleanliness of the room, the fact that my suitcase sits on the folding stand they provide for it, zipped closed and packed, ready for my early morning departure that she has no clue exists.
Whereas her villa was always a bit of a mess every time I was there, with clothes everywhere, jewelry scattered on the dresser, shoes kicked off by the front door, and an array of beauty products spread all over the counter in the bathroom.
The mess had been telling. A hint of chaos in her life, not a surprise. She claims she likes control but her habits, her behavior, prove otherwise.
I could be the one to control her. To calm her. Growing up, my life hadn’t been mine. I’d wanted to meet my father’s expectations. I’d had no choice. It was his way or no way. I’d learned that fast. When I was a teen, I hadn’t understood my need for control with a girl. Not that I was an abusive asshole, but I was intense. I’m still intense.
Now I understand it, run with it. Find a woman who understands my needs, too. I can see it in them sometimes. The way they lean into me, the words they say, the look in their eyes.
I couldn’t with Lily, not at first. She presented a challenge. One I pursued doggedly.
“Do you have a good view out there?” she asks as she draws closer to the sliding glass door that leads onto a balcony.
“Not as stellar as yours, princess. But it’ll do,” I answer, smiling at her when she glances at me from over her shoulder.
She looks nervous. Unsure. I plan on easing all that nervousness right out of her, so I’ll let her look around, do what she needs to do to get comfortable. I need her comfortable, trusting, open. Then I need to exhaust her and slip out of this room while she sleeps.
Fuck, talk about doubling the risk.
Lily opens the sliding glass door and steps out onto the balcony, her voice carrying on the breeze that slips through the room. “It’s beautiful out here,” she calls out.
Stopping in the bathroom, I grab a condom from my travel bag that still sits by the sink and shove it into my pocket. I want to be prepared. She’s so nervous, I’m afraid one wrong move and she’ll run. And I can’t have that.
I join her outside, the cooling air washing over my skin, carrying with it Lily’s addictive scent. She’s leaning against the railing, staring out at the ocean in the near distance, the palm trees that line the resort property swaying to and fro, their fronds rattling with the wind. “You like the view?” I ask. I know I’ll miss it when I return home. This island is truly a paradise, and the view from my bedroom window in my apartment is the brick building across the street.
“I do. It’s gorgeous. The way the moon shines on the water, it’s so bright.” She stiffens when I stop just behind her, as if she can sense my nearness though she never looks back. I hope I don’t make her too uncomfortable. The last thing I want is her being afraid of me. “You can see everything this high up. Imagine if you were higher.”
“I can’t afford higher. No penthouse for me,” I joke, settling my hands on her bare shoulders. They tense up as she breathes deep and I whisper close to her ear, “Relax. I’m trying to show you how sorry I am for what happened earlier.”
“I’m sorry, too,” she whispers as she bends her head down, offering me a tempting view of her neck. I give in, pressing my mouth against her nape, trailing light kisses to her shoulder. She softens with every touch of my lips, gooseflesh rising in my wake, a quiet sigh escaping her. I crowd in closer, my hands going to the railing as I box her in.
“What are you doing?” she asks, turning her head toward mine just as I take her mouth in a deep kiss. I don’t want to talk. Talking causes problems between us and tonight I plan on finishing what I started. Her hand goes to the back of my head, fingers threading through my hair as she holds me close, and I drink from her lips.
“I just want to make you feel good,” I whisper against her skin, satisfaction filling me when I feel her shiver. My cock is already hard, just being this close to her. Tasting her, feeling her, smelling her again. I break the kiss and she turns her head, facing toward the ocean once more. A couple passes by down below, holding hands as they walk along the winding sidewalk, and I slip my arms around Lily, reaching my hands up so I cup her breasts.
“Someone could see us,” she whispers as she pushes her breasts into my palms. Her automatic responses to my touch build the need already roaring inside of me to a near frenzy. How can I walk away from her?
How can I let her go?
“Max,” she whispers urgently, though she hasn’t pushed my hands away. “I’m serious.” She doesn’t sound serious. No, more like she sounds keyed up. Turned on.
I smile. I think she likes the idea that someone might see us. “I doubt they’d look up.” I tug on the elastic that keeps her strapless top up, pulling the fabric down so her breasts are bared. A gasp escapes her as I brush my palms over her hard nipples, kneading her abundant flesh, and she leans into me with a soft moan, her ass rubbing against the front of my pants, teasing my dick.
“What if they do?” she asks breathlessly.
“Then we’ll put on a show for them,” I whisper in her ear, then kiss and lick her neck. With my right hand I reach for the fabric of her skirt, gathering it, lifting it up. Leaning away from her, I watch as I pull her dress up past her perfect ass, hissing out a breath when I reveal her to my gaze.
A lacy white thong runs up the crack of her ass, all that tight flesh on display just for me, and I smooth my palm over the tantalizing curve, triumph filling me when she backs into my touch. I squeeze her ass cheek hard, leaving marks on her skin, and then I spank her, more of a light tap that makes her suck in a harsh breath.
I slip my hand down between her legs, where the lacy fabric of her panties is soaked straight through. I nudge it aside, sinking my finger into her drenched heat, and she moans my name as I start to finger-fuck her.
“Like that, princess?” I ask, my other hand busy squeezing her breasts. She nods furiously, like she’s too overcome to speak, and I slide another finger inside her tight pussy. “I want to fuck you right where you stand,” I growl, overcome with my base need for her. I touch her, kiss her, and all I can think about is conquering her. Making her mine.
All mine.
“Do it,” she murmurs, working her hips against my fingers and sending me deeper within her. “Fuck me.”
“That means I have to stop touching you and I’m not ready yet.” She doesn’t protest, doesn’t make any sorts of demands, and I’m surprised. That’s our biggest problem when we’re together like this. It’s a battle of wills, a show as to who’s the one ultimately in control. Drives me fucking nuts and I know it makes her crazy, too.
But we’re so damn good together. She’s so responsive, so needy for my touch, my mouth, my cock. She’s writhing against me right now, her pussy so wet, and those inner walls are clenching rhythmically. She’s getting off on this, her hands gripped tight around the metal railing, her ass thrust toward me almost obscenely.
Hell, I’m getting off on this, on watching her, touching her, feeling her. My cock strains so hard against the front of my pants, my zipper will probably imprint on my fucking skin if I don’t let it free soon. It’s as if we can’t resist each other.
And we can’t. I don’t want to resist her.
I think she feels the same.
“Please,” she whispers as she strains against my hand. The need in her voice is intense and I slip my arm around her waist, my fingers still buried in her pussy.
I bend over her, resting my cheek against hers as I whisper, “Please what, baby girl?”
“Please let me come,” she says, whimpering when I still my fingers.
It’s the words let me come that gets to me. As if she’s asking permission. As if she’s finally realized who’s the one in charge here and it’s not her.
Fuck.
“You don’t want to wait for my cock?” I ask her.
Now it’s her turn to go completely still, though her body trembles in my embrace. “I do. I want it. But …”
“You want to come now,” I finish for her.
She nods. “I’m sorry.”
That does it. She’s giving me everything I crave, saying all the right things, responding in exactly the right way. If she’s purposely trying to drive me out of my fucking mind, it’s working. “No need to say sorry,” I reassure her. “I’ll give you what you want.”
Before she can say anything, do anything, I angle my hand, slipping my thumb over her swollen clit, and press hard. A relieved sigh escapes her and she rotates her hips, grinds her pussy against my hand as she starts to pant. She’s working toward her orgasm, racing toward it I bet, and I decide to help her along.
“So goddamn tight, princess,” I murmur against her cheek. “You like the way my fingers fuck you? Do you like them better than my cock?”
“I—I like b-both,” she stutters, and I’m impressed she can even speak.
“I’ll give you both. Come with my fingers and then I’ll have you coming all over my cock. Do you want that?”
“Oh God … yes,” she moans as I feel her pussy tighten around my fingers and then she explodes, sobbing as her entire body is overcome. She shakes within my arms, my fingers coated with a fresh gush of wetness. When she sags against me, I carefully withdraw from her still shuddering body, grabbing the condom out of my pocket before I’m shoving off my pants and underwear, practically hopping out of them when they fall to my feet.
I tear into the wrapper, pulling the rubber ring out as I kick her legs open so she’s spread wider for me. Stopping in my race to get inside her, I stare dumbfounded for a moment at her pussy. It’s pink and glistening, on perfect display just for me, and I tear my gaze away from the fascinating view to catch her studying me from over her shoulder.
Her shoulders heave with her still ragged breaths. Her lips are parted and wet. Those big, luminous eyes watch me and I lean in, kissing her fiercely, stealing her breath and mine with the intense connection that we’ve woven between us in such a short amount of time.
“So fucking beautiful, princess,” I tell her, my gaze never leaving hers as I move away from her so I can slip on the condom.
Voices sound and she turns her head on a gasp, peeking down below. More people are walking by, looks like two couples this time, and they’re laughing and chatting loudly, sounding a little drunk. Lily leans over the balcony railing, her hands still gripping the metal, her breasts practically dangling over the edge, and I take that moment to slip inside her, inch by inch, filling her up.
Making her sway and moan low in her throat.
The sound makes the chatter stop and we both go still, my cock throbbing inside her tight pussy. I wait, all the air trapped in my lungs, one hand smoothing over her ass, the other gripped around her waist. Slowly she starts to move and I look down at the spot where we’re connected, entranced by the way her pussy glides over my dick, taking it deeper and deeper until I disappear inside her body and then moving back out till only the very tip is nestled within.
I exhale through my nose, telling myself to keep it together when all I want to do is ram inside her until we both splinter apart. She’s riding my cock back and forth, in and out, her breasts swaying, her ass nudging against my front until I’m balls-deep buried in her snug heat.
“Fuck, you feel good,” I tell her, urging her on. The people are gone. I didn’t even hear them leave, too enraptured with the way she’s taking me, fucking me. Because she is definitely the one fucking me right now. I’m letting her control the depth, the speed, because I’m fascinated with the way she moves, the shape of her ass, the eager yet controlled way she rides me.
She swings her head, the hoop earrings flaring out as she watches me from over her shoulder yet again. Her eyes are dark, her mouth parted as if she’s struggling for breath. I reach for her, my hand snaking into her hair, fingers gripping the strands as I tug, bringing her to me. She lifts up, my cock still embedded in her body, her back to my front as we kiss, tongues tangling, teeth clashing, and she moans so loudly I’m afraid she’ll draw attention to us up here.
Not so afraid that it’ll stop us from doing this, though. There’s something freeing about being up here where anyone could see us, our bodies bared and the moonlight shining on her skin, her soft moans, my harsh grunts, the breeze wafting across our connected bodies, cooling our heated skin.
“You having fun controlling our fucking?” I ask when I break the kiss first. She smiles against my mouth. “Ready for me to take over?”
“You don’t like what I’m doing?” She squeezes those velvety inner walls around my cock, making me groan, and then I’m shifting her around so she bends back over, her hands on the railing once more, my hand in her hair and the other hand on her hip as I start to pound inside of her. Taking her.
Claiming her.
She doesn’t miss a beat, her body moving with mine, her legs going wider and somehow sending me even deeper. I let go of her hair and grip either side of her hips, thrusting so hard my stomach slaps against her ass hard. Again. Harder. Taking her deep, my fingers embedded in her skin, my balls brushing against her pussy.
“Oh, fuck yes,” she whispers just before I feel her come apart, her pussy clenching around my dick, her body quivering. I gather her up close, hold her through her orgasm, crooning a mixture of sweet and dirty words in her ear that make her shudder harder, her body melting against mine. I’m strung tight, my head spinning, my heart racing, my cock pulsating with the need to come, and when she finally quiets, that last shivery breath escaping her, I begin to move again.
“Bend over and hold on tight, princess,” I tell her, and she does as I command. “I’m going to fuck you hard.” It’s supposed to be a warning, but I don’t think she’s scared.
No, not scared at all. She wags that tempting butt at me, my cock still buried deep, and I slide in farther, as far as I can go. Taking her without care, using her with every mad thrust of my hips. I’m like an animal out of control, unleashed, the familiar tingling at the base of my spine starting, spreading up, over, taking me straight over the edge until I’m the one falling completely apart.
And wondering, for once in my life, if I can ever be put back together again.