“I’M SO HAPPY EVERYONE’S HERE,” Annie says, reaching out for Deacon’s hand and then Sam’s, while the rest of us follow suit. “There’s so much goin’ on, what with gettin’ ready for the baby and Micah and Deacon startin’ work on Pockets. Seems like we’ve all been so busy lately.” She sighs, looking down one side of the table and then the other. “Today’s message in the sermon reminded me to be grateful for the time, because it slips away too fast.”
We all sit there for a minute, no one saying a word. If we’ve learned nothing else over the years, we’ve learned that when Annie speaks, we listen. I look down at Sammy who’s smiling across the table at Annie, happy as can be.
“Sam, say the blessin’,” Annie instructs.
Sam gives Annie a smile, followed by a kiss to the back of her hand, then we all bow our heads.
“Lord, bless the food before us, the family beside us, and the time we share. Amen.”
Everyone does the sign of the cross. I watch Sammy from the corner of my eye. She doesn’t miss a beat. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think she’s been coming to these Sunday dinners at the Landry’s her whole life.
“Dani, how’s Piper?” Annie asks as food starts getting passed around the table. “I miss her.”
“Well, she’s back in Connecticut.” Dani sighs and I watch for any subtle reaction that would give me a clue as to how Piper’s doing, because the two times we’ve talked since she left, she’s been vague at best.
Maybe I shouldn’t have kissed her before she left, but damn it, I would’ve regretted it if I hadn’t. I regret so many things already, mostly not telling her how I feel. I couldn’t add another thing to the list.
Dani cuts her eyes over at me, like she can sense that I’m watching her.
“Is she gettin’ settled?” Annie asks, drawing both of our attention back to her.
“She went for a job interview. That’s about all I know.”
“Well, I just hate that things didn’t work out in Birmingham. I was gettin’ way too used to havin’ her around.” Annie continues passing food. She and Kay are always making sure everyone has everything they need before they ever take a bite of food.
“I hate it too. I miss her.” Micah pulls Dani over to him, kissing the top of her head. “Hopefully, she’ll come for a visit at least.”
“Is she seein’ anybody?” Annie asks, causing me to choke on my bite of mashed potatoes.
It’s a normal question. Annie is always interested in people’s love lives, but when it’s concerning Piper, it feels off limits.
Dani looks back across the table at me before answering. “Well, she did mention someone by the name of Greg.”
Everyone else is so engrossed in their meals and side conversations that this is now mostly a conversation between Dani and Annie . . . and me, because I can’t peel myself away.
Who the fuck is Greg?
“Greg,” Annie repeats, smiling at Dani. “That’s a nice name.”
Dani laughs, shaking her head. “That’s what I told her. Doesn’t it just sound like a name of a nice, normal guy?”
“That’s what everyone says about Sam,” Sam chimes in, winking at me across the table.
“What about Deacon?” Deke asks, taking offense, of course. “I’m the nicest guy you’ll ever meet.”
Pretty soon, everyone is laughing and Annie is rolling her eyes. “Y’all have very nice names. I should know. I picked them out.”
“Hey, now,” Sam says. “I get a little cred.”
“All the credit for Tucker and Cami go to Jessie,” my dad says. “I told her she carried them for nine months, so she earned the right to pick their names.” He smiles, looking across the table at my sister. “She had Camille picked out from the time we started dating. Always knew she wanted a Camille.”
“Mommy named me Samanie because she wanted me to remember where I came from,” Sammy pipes up and we all turn to look at her. She just smiles, not fazed by all the attention in the slightest.
“It’s a great name,” Kay assures her. “Beautiful. Your mommy knew what she was doing, because it fits you perfectly.”
Sammy grins up at me, so proud. Leaning over, I kiss her head and squeeze her to me.
As everyone else goes about their conversations, I can’t help thinking about what Dani said. Who’s Greg? Is he someone Piper met in Connecticut? Is that why she’s seemed distant lately?
All the unanswered questions are killing me.
After dinner, Sammy and Carter are playing on the jungle gym Sam and Annie had installed a week or so ago. It looks like something you’d find in a city park; the kids love it. Even the big kids. Micah and Deacon were out here the other day, seeing who could cross the monkey bars the fastest.
“Hey,” Deacon says, coming up beside me and nudging me with his elbow.
“What’s up?” I ask, keeping my eye on Sammy and Carter. The monkey bars are really high and Sammy insists on figuring them out, but she refuses help. It makes me nervous.
“Everything alright with you?”
“Sure, man. Everything alright with you?” Deacon has been acting weird around me all day. Weirder than usual, I mean. He obviously has something on his mind. I wish he’d just spit it out but, at the same time, I’m gonna play dumb until he does.
“Come on, Tucker, you can talk to me, man.” He sighs, folding his arms across his chest. “I know this has been difficult for you, but we’re all here to help. Sammy is our family, too.”
Deacon is a great friend, the best, but he’s really making me feel like shit right now. Since Sophie died, things have been okay with me and Sammy. Better than okay, actually. We have our difficult moments, but we’re acclimating to this new normal, or at least we’re doing the best we can. I know everyone is concerned and wants to help.
But how do I admit the reason I’ve been such a moody bastard lately isn’t because of my situation with Sophie and Sammy, but because of Piper? She’s on my mind more than I care to admit, and I can’t do anything about it. I should be trying to move forward with my life like she seems to be doing, but I can’t.
“I know, Deke, and I appreciate it, I do. I have a lot of crap goin’ on in my life right now that I’m tryin’ to get sorted. It’s more than just Sammy, although she’s the most important.”
“Well, maybe I can help with one of the other things troublin’ you.” I take a good look at my friend’s face and see nothing but genuine concern. “I hate seein’ you sad and mopey all the time. It ain’t right. How about we hit the bar tonight? The kids can have a sleepover here at the big house and you, me, and Micah can have a guy’s night out, like we used to do. Lord knows I could use a high-priced beer right about now.”
“A beer with you two sounds pretty good, but I don’t want to go out.” I lived the bar scene for ten years and the thought of going back anytime doesn’t appeal.
“When was the last time you got your dick wet, man?” Deacon asks in a low, conspiratorial whisper.
“Dude!” I look over at where the kids are playing and hope to the high heavens they didn’t hear what Deacon just asked.
“They didn’t hear me. Don’t get your panties twisted. That’s it, isn’t it? You haven’t been with someone in so long, you’ve forgotten how to do it. I swear, I never thought I’d see the day when Tucker the Fucker lost his mojo.” The bastard has the nerve to shake his head at me like he pities me.
“Shut up, Deke. You don’t know everything about me. I know you think you do, but you don’t.” I know I’m probably being a little too harsh, but damn. The last thing I need is Deacon all up in my business.
“I bet I know more than you realize.”
“Oh, yeah? Try me,” I challenge, because he doesn’t know shit. No one really knows anything. They don’t know about Piper.
He stares at me, clenching his jaws so hard, I see the muscles in his face tense. I know this look. For some crazy reason, he really thinks he has something on me and he’s debating whether or not to admit it.
“Just fuckin’ spit it out, man. You’re obviously dyin’ to call me out on my shit, so just do it.”
After a moment, Deacon moves closer to me and looks me dead in the eye. “I know about you and Piper.”
Well, fuck me running.
“There is no ‘me and Piper’. I don’t know what the hell you’re talkin’ about.” Deny, deny, deny. There’s no way he knows about us. We were way too careful.
“Oh, really? So, that wasn’t you and Piper fuckin’ each other’s brains out in the bathroom last year at my parents’ anniversary party?”
Okay, so, maybe, we weren’t always careful.
Desperate times, desperate measures. And all that bullshit.
Deacon crosses his arms over his chest while quirking an eyebrow at me, waiting for my response. I think about denying it again, making up some kind of lie, but, really, what’s the point? Piper and I are over and, surprisingly, I just don’t give a shit that Deacon knows.
“Shit,” I mutter under my breath, breaking eye contact with him.
That’s all he needs. “I knew it!” he yells and punches his fist in the air.
“Yay, you figured it out. Big freakin’ deal. What do you want me to say?”
“For starters, I’d like a ‘thank you, Deacon’.”
“Thank you? For what?”
“For keepin’ your secret! Ya’ll shit on me all the time, sayin’ I can’t keep a secret and I’ve been keepin’ the biggest one for months!”
He’s so ridiculous to be so butt-hurt about this, but he’s right. On both accounts.
“Fine. Thank you for not tellin’ anyone about me and Piper. We didn’t want anyone to know and there’s no reason for anyone else to know, got it?”
“Why not? Why are you hidin’? And why are you two not together anymore?”
“We never planned on bein’ anything other than fuck buddies, with more emphasis on the fuck and less on the buddies. I guess it all fell to shit when I proposed to her.”
Deacon starts coughing but manages to squeak out, “You did what?”
“Yeah, the night Micah proposed to Dani. We were drunk and didn’t even remember it happenin’ until Dave posted it on Twitter or some shit.” Thinking back on that night—what I remember, that is—and the following morning brings a smile to my face. I haven’t allowed myself to think about it much over the last couple of months. Even though it all went downhill after that, I don’t regret a single thing.
“Damn, that’s crazy. I can’t believe you didn’t tell anyone.”
“It was right after that that I found out about Sammy. So, to say my priorities changed would be the understatement of the century.”
“I get it. I’m guessing Piper didn’t want to play house with you and Sammy?”
My gut reaction is to be pissed at Deacon for assuming that about Piper, but he doesn’t know her like I do. If he did, he wouldn’t have asked. He’s just jumping to conclusions.
“I didn’t give her a chance.” I kick at an imaginary rock on the ground. More and more, I’m realizing this is my fault. I’m the one who pushed Piper away, and now I’m the one suffering for it. I deserve to feel miserable.
“Hmmm,” is his only response, keeping his thoughts to himself.
“I fucked this up so bad, man. But shit, this is uncharted territory for me. I didn’t know what the hell I was doin’ or what was comin’ next. All I could think about was Sammy. Piper knows that.”
“So, you think it’s best for Sammy if you’re completely miserable?”
“What? No—”
Suddenly, Deacon thrusts his hand out to me, like he’s expecting a handshake.
“What on earth are you doin’?” I ask.
“Hi, I’m Deacon Landry and I’m callin’ you out on your shit.” He’s lost his mind. It’s official. This will break Annie’s heart. “You do know that I pursued Cami, your sister, when she was a single mom, right?”
“It’s not the same thing,” I argue.
“The hell it’s not. I was in love with her and she’d just had another man’s baby. Was it complicated? Sometimes,” he says, shrugging. “Was it worth it? Absofuckinglutely. Don’t make assumptions about Piper, or Sammy. You’re forcin’ them to respond to a situation without givin’ them a chance to decide for themselves, and in the meantime, you’re sellin’ them both short. You’re doin’ the same to yourself. Life is much better when you open your heart to all its possibilities, rather than blockin’ everyone out. You and that precious girl of yours have some of the biggest hearts I know. It’d be a shame not to share them.”
Deacon walks over to the kids, leaving me completely dumbfounded and with a lot to think about.