He was a second away from putting his hands on me. The world started to spin and my face had a funny, tingly feel around the edges. The next thing I knew was the feel of Kaine’s arms around me, and sight of Bastien Cole lying unconscious in the hallway, his nose and mouth bleeding onto the pale grey carpet.

I wrapped my arms around Kaine’s powerful neck and held on tight. I was pretty sure he was taking me back to the Citadel, the place I thought I’d just left for good. As I felt his hard chest, warm against me, and felt his strong arms carrying me as easily as a child, I realized that I was glad he was taking me back to the suite. All the way down in the elevator, I’d had the awful feeling that I was making a mistake by leaving. It’s just that I’d suddenly been so afraid. Seeing all those scars.

Not until the door was locked and Kaine had put me down, did he speak. He picked up the house phone and asked for security. After a short, angry sounding conversation, he turned to me.

“You left,” he said, accusingly. He raked a hand through his hair and I could see his knuckles were bruised and bleeding. “You wanted to leave me.”

I stood up from the chair he’d dropped me in and went to him, taking his hand in mine. I reached for a box of tissues and pressed a wad of them against the broken skin. I felt a shudder go through him and looked up into his eyes. It was the first time I’d seen them unguarded. He looked vulnerable suddenly. And something in my chest caught.

“My reasons are personal, Kaine. I didn’t want to leave you. I felt like I had to. And I know that this… well, that things between us aren’t… personal. It seemed better just to leave…”

He took my hands, covering them with his. The bloody tissues fell to the floor. “I heard what Cole said to you,” he said, as he looked unblinking into my eyes. “I heard him threaten you, and I heard what he said about your mother.” Kaine stroked a hand down my face, letting his fingers trail through the ends of my hair. “I think you need to tell me yourself what happened. And why you came to La Laisse.”

I nodded, unable to look away. And unable to tell him less than the entire truth.

“I will, Kaine. I can tell you everything… if you want to hear it. But there’s something more. Something else I have to tell you too.” I shifted awkwardly and bit my lip. His eyes move to my mouth. “You have a right to know.”

“It was part of why I had to leave. You didn’t intend me to see, and now I understand why you didn’t want me to touch you. And why you didn’t sleep with me last night. I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to… but I saw them, Kaine.” I looked away, suddenly ashamed. “On your back…”

“I saw the scars,” I whispered.

* * *

At first, I felt nothing but a sick feeling of dread. I’d done it. I’d ruined everything. He wouldn’t want to hear anything I had to say now. If he’d wanted to help me before, he never would now. I’d ruined it. I’d ruined everything.

My heart sank as he looked away from me, walking over to the huge window. He was quiet in a way he hadn’t been before. It felt like he wasn’t even in the room with me anymore. It felt like he was lost somehow…

I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t move. I wanted to break the spell by doing something, but I just couldn’t. I stood as quiet and still as Kaine, needing desperately for him to talk to me. It felt like I waited for hours.

“Tell me why you came here, Grace,” he said softly, still looking outside at the brightening sky.

I took a step forward. He was still several feet away, but I wasn’t brave enough to get closer. His hand with the skinned knuckles was at his side and I ached to hold it. What I was less sure of, was whether I wanted to comfort him, or because I needed the comfort of touching him for myself.

“I’m Evelyn’s daughter,” I said quietly. “And she’s on trial for the death of Mr. Cole’s wife.” I wrapped my arms tightly around myself as Kaine finally turned around to face me. “She came home drunk that night… although there’s nothing so unusual about that. The car was… well, she didn’t remember anything… but she’d clearly run into… something. There was a lot of damage.” I sat back down.

“She’d hit things before. A fire hydrant once. A car even. But she’d never hurt anyone.” I put my face in my hands, shocked by her blindness… and mine. “We never thought she could hit a person, Kaine. We should have, but we never did. It just didn’t seem possible. But I see it now. That it had all only been a matter of time.”

He came closer, crouching on the floor in front of me, but not reaching out. I looked into his face, wanting something I couldn’t name.

“I saw the headlines,” he said. “She died instantly. And there were witnesses?”

“One. A city councilman.” I pushed my hair back over my shoulders. “It’s his testimony that’s going to put her in jail, Kaine. I’ve hired the best lawyer who was willing to take her case, and I put everything we had into it. That, and a rehab therapist.”

“And that’s why you came here…,” he said slowly. I saw something, a look, a thought, move fast across his face. Then he pulled my hands into his big warm ones, and I finally felt like he was fully present again. Here with me in the room. I couldn’t explain why, even to myself, but it felt like an enormous weight was lifted.

“You want to help her,” he said, searching my face. “You love her…”

“She’s my mother, Kaine. Sometimes I can’t even bring myself to like her. It was my job growing up, to protect her from herself, to try to keep her safe. To try to keep both of us safe. I’d feel like I was failing her, Kaine. If I didn’t try.”

“And you were willing to trade your body for that… for her?” He took my chin in his hand so I couldn’t look away. “You were just a child. She should have been the one…”

Suddenly his intensity was almost frightening. His eyes searched mine, taking in every feature, watching every breath I took. He let go of me, gripping my hands in his, bringing them to his own face. I held him, feeling the silken bristle along his jaw, the muscles working as he spoke to me. “You can love her,” he breathed. “In spite of what she’s done, who she is. You were willing to give your body to a stranger, to try to protect her…”

I ran my hands gently along the angles of his face, exploring, needing to know the story behind this complicated man. His eyes were warm, velvety grey. The color of the sky on a soft, wet day. Days when I’d stayed home from school, waiting for Evelyn to wake up. It had been just the two of us and I’d curled in bed beside her and pulled her arms around me. Pretending that she was the one keeping me safe. Suddenly I was grateful, almost painfully grateful to still be here with Kaine. That my confrontation with Cole had kept me here, long enough for this man to bring me back upstairs. I swallowed and looked into his eyes.

“Yes, Kaine,” I said. “I loved her.”