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The Baby Contract by Riley Rollins (69)

Grace

I woke gently to the sound of Kaine’s voice. “Sweetheart, it’s time we got you into bed.”

I opened my eyes to see his face close to mine, and I remembered the soothing feel of his hands as he’d washed me. Another unexpected moment. That I could ever fall asleep with his hands on my naked body

I sat up, standing when he held out a thick bath towel for me. He wrapped me inside it and inside his strong arms. I leaned into him, happy for his warmth and the support of his body as he dried me. “Come.” He took my hand and led me back to the bedroom. Lifting me, he settled me under the covers and kissed me on the forehead. He stood to go and I caught his large hand in both of mine.

“Stay with me, Kaine. Please… just for tonight?” My voice sounded thin and needy. Any other time I would have been embarrassed by it, but right now I didn’t care. There was no way in hell I would be able to sleep alone in the big bed again, no matter how tired I was. “You promised you wouldn’t leave me…”

Even in the darkness, I could sense the conflict inside him. What I couldn’t tell was whether he wanted to stay… or he wanted to leave. He stood still long enough to make me wish I hadn’t asked. But then he moved to the other side of the bed… and I watched his silhouette as he removed his jeans and slipped into bed. He stretched out a hand to me, across the expanse between us.

“I’m right here,” he said. “But you need rest. And believe me, if I come any closer than this, you won’t get any sleep at all.”

* * *

Even with the distance between us, it took hours to fall asleep. I was too aware of his body and mine. I’d never seen him completely naked and the idea that he was so close… I wondered what it would feel like, the touch of all that skin on mine. I was twenty-two and still didn’t know that feeling. Flesh on flesh, bodies tangled and joined together… I ached to reach out to him, but didn’t want to risk what we had now. Even if it still wasn’t quite close enough

I rolled onto my side away from him and listened to his breathing in the darkness. Deep and steady. Comforting, even if he wouldn’t hold me. Eventually, exhaustion took over and I dropped off, sleeping like a child does… deeply without dreams or awareness or any sense of time passing. I didn’t know if it was minutes later, or hours. It was only starting to get light outside when I heard him, and I was suddenly bolt upright in the bed and grasping to understand.

Danny!”

I started to reach for him, but stopped cold as he called out again.

“Leave it, Danny! Come back… oh, god, Danny…” He was sound asleep, but thrashing and tangled in the sheets. “NO!! Oh, god, I’m sorry. I tried… I didn’t mean to… No, Dad. Please. I didn’t mean to…”

I reached out and put my hand gently on his shoulder and found it drenched in sweat. “Wake up, Kaine. It’s just a dream.” I shook him gently. “Please… wake up.”

His hand shot out and gripped my wrist. His eyes were wide open, but he didn’t seem to see me. His eyes were unfocused and looked somehow beyond my face.

“Please, Dad. Not again. Don’t hurt him again. He’s too little and it’s not his fault…”

“Kaine! It’s me, Kaine. I need you to wake up.” I took his face between my hands. “It’s Grace. I’m here Kaine. It’s me.”

I saw the change fall like a curtain over his features. All of a sudden, he was back in control, his eyes sharp on mine. He swallowed and put his hands over mine. The Kaine I knew was back, and I felt a strange, unexplainable feeling of sadness. His dream had obviously been terrifying, but it seemed so much worse for all those emotions to be bottled up again. Forced back down by the steel of his damned self-control.

He sat up and turned his back to me, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. The dim light made his scars even more visible. The raised, organized pattern of them cast tiny shadows and they stood out in contrast. I reached a hand up, aware of the risk I was taking. I held my breath and touched him.

His skin shuddered under my palm, but I went on. Putting my other hand on his back too, I ran them slowly over the surface of his skin, touching. Exploring. He was breathing too fast, but he didn’t stop me. And he didn’t pull away.

I worked slowly, touching each tiny mark with my fingertips, exploring each moment of the pain he must have felt. There were a thousand details I didn’t know. Maybe I would never know. But something deep inside me understood anyway. Pain is pain, no matter the cause. And we all carry scars somewhere

I leaned forward and touched my lips to one, then another. I felt his skin move under my lips as if it were trying to crawl away. But he didn’t move. And he didn’t speak.

I kissed each mark, slowly, deliberately. One at a time until I had touched them all. The sky had lightened and I could hear birds singing outside. I shifted behind him and reached around his chest with my arms. I pressed my breasts against his back and held him. For a while our bodies moved out of time with each other, his breathing too fast, mine slower. I held him until we moved in time. Until our bodies rose and fell in unison.

“I’m sorry, Grace,” he said gently, turning his face close to mine. “I didn’t want this for you…”

My heart sank as he said the words and I held him tighter, refusing to let go. “How can you not see it, Kaine? How kind you’ve been to me… how you’ve protected me and treated me like I was good and beautiful?” I leaned my face into the back of his neck. “You’re beautiful too, Kaine. How can a man like you not see?”

He stood abruptly and moved away toward the window. Looking out, he took a moment, seeming to gather his thoughts. “There’s a lot you don’t know, Grace. About… about a lot of things. Things that aren’t your concern.”

He turned and stood looking back at me. The light came from the window behind him, lighting him around the edges and leaving his features in darkness. I shifted, waiting for him to go on.

“I have my own issues with Cole. There’s a lot of… history.” He cleared his throat. “My company intends to tear out an old street that his committee is fighting to save. But that’s just business. Even so, there’s never been any love lost between us.”

I nodded. “I heard you talking to someone,” I said slowly. “Rance Street… and something about a house you want torn down. It didn’t sound like business, Kaine. You were angry…” I decided to take a chance. “I think it has something to do with Danny…”

His voice was quiet, controlled, as he answered me. But his eyes were cold and bright. “Leave it alone, Grace.”

He changed the subject. “Have you ever heard the name Marks, Carlson Marks?”

“I heard you say the name, when you were on the call.”

“I had my assistant Brian, look into the man. He’s the witness against your mother, Grace. The one who claimed he saw her kill Cole’s wife.”

Kaine took a step closer and I could see his face more clearly. There were frown lines marring his forehead. “But that’s just it, Grace. Everything came together when I finally remembered.”

“I don’t believe what happened to Claire Cole was an accident at all.”