Chapter 10
Alex found herself sneaking looks at the picture Amir had sent her as she worked the next day. His chest was lightly furred, with the darkest line going down to his navel and points below. The thought of seeing his body in nothing but a swimsuit had her nerves jangling, and after the way they had ended the evening two nights ago, she knew they had crossed a new threshold, and the way he had made her lose control was something she would have to face again and again with him. She hoped she was ready for a relationship with him. It had been too long since she had even thought seriously about finding someone of her own. And the secret she had not told him would need to be revealed. How would he take her deception?
Shutting off the unsettling thoughts, she looked over at her charge, currently staring out at the garden. The king was subdued, but his vital signs were stable, and she realized that he must still be caught in that web of memory that was making him depressed. She would need to have Amir come in and talk to him as soon as he returned. Sometimes relatives were able to bring patients back from depression by sparking different memories, or bringing them back to the present. She looked at his thin face, and noted how age and his debilitating illness were ravaging his features. And still, she could see a strength in him that was mirrored in his son, whom she was sure would make a good ruler when his father passed away.
Her heart softened as she thought of how much Amir would mourn for his father. She knew first hand the depth of grief that came with the death of a parent. She had lost both of hers at the same time, in an accident involving alcohol. Even now, six years later, her gut clenched whenever she thought of how her father had gone to get her mother, who was too drunk to drive herself home from the party they had argued about her going to in the first place. She remembered the last words she heard, after her mother called her to say they’d be late getting to her. She had heard her telltale slurred speech, and the wild laughter as her mother, forgetting she hadn’t hung up, implored her father to pull off so she could relieve her bladder. She heard again his angry “Let go of the damn steering wheel, Jo!” before a horrific screech of tires, a curse, and the sound of one vehicle hitting another. Then screams…and silence.
Her hands shook as she sat in her chair, and tears spilled down her cheeks. The anger and sorrow she felt caused the pain to intensify, and she felt almost as though there was no air to breathe. Opening her mouth, she took shallow breaths until she grew calmer, reminding herself that it was over, and that she could not let the emotions cripple her. When she graduated from college, after four years of having to remind herself that it was what her father had always wanted for her, and she wanted to honor his memory, she had had no idea that she would end up pregnant and alone. The party had broken something loose inside her, something she had kept under tight wraps for four years, so she could finish the course. And Simon, who had been her friend from their high school days, had got her to agree to having a graduation party, and she had relaxed so much she had let him take her in a way she had never even imagined he wanted her, because he had hidden his interest so thoroughly.
It had been a combination of pity, guilt, and alcohol, with a large side of grief, that had driven her into his arms for an encounter which she could only recall as having been over more quickly than she had expected. She had let all her grief at the loss of her parents out in that drunken session, and the anger and hurt that they were not there to enjoy her accomplishment with her had also driven her to throwing caution to the winds. Before Simon, she had had a rather tepid relationship with a boy whose lovemaking was even blander. At least Simon had made her feel alive, if only for a few minutes till he collapsed on top of her.
The king stirred, breaking into her unhappy thoughts once more, She rose to check on him, and found him dozing, a spot of drool sliding from the corner of his mouth. Extracting a tissue from the pack she always carried on her, she wiped it away gently, and took off the brake on the wheelchair so she could take him back to bed. He had not eaten much at dinner, and she was worried that he would be starving when he was fully awake again, so she had ordered a basket of fruit to be brought to his room. She knew he was partial to peaches and strawberries, and she was glad that those things appeared to be readily available.
“Your Majesty,” she said quietly in his ear, “it’s time to go to bed, sir.”
He blinked up at her, a faint smile curving his lips, before he closed his eyes again. She set the wheelchair next to his bed and spoke again.
“Let me help you into bed, sir,” she said, and touched his shoulder.
He opened his eyes again, somewhat more alert than before and she helped him into bed, settling him back against the pillows. She handed him his night time medications and held a glass of water for him to swallow them with. He was his weakest at night, and she had noted how these last two nights he was even more weakened by his memories. He lay still for a moment, his eyes closed, and then he opened them again, and gestured for her to approach him.
“What can I do for you, Your Majesty?” she asked.
He stared at her for a long moment, and then he said, “You have my Fatima’s eyes. Deep and full of love. Be good to my son.”
Alex stared at him aghast, wondering how much he knew about what she and Amir… His eyes drifted shut, and she forgot to worry about what or how he knew anything. He was asleep. Just like that. She smoothed his blanket across his chest, and switched the light off, leaving only the night light glowing faintly beside his bed. Moving the wheelchair to the wall, she picked up her tablet, which she always left on the chair she now sank into, but did not wake it to find her page. She just sat and watched the king sleep.
“Alexandra!”
Amir’s quiet call made her turn to see him at the bedroom door watching them both. She had not heard him enter the suite, and he had not knocked, as he usually did. She stood and smiled at him, and he walked to her, bending to kiss her cheek.
“Hi,” she said shyly. “Welcome home.”
His smile was warm and sweet, but she could see that he was tired. She wanted to reach out and caress his cheeks, and hug him to her, but she was still feeling pretty unused to the new dynamic between them.
“Thank you, habibti, “ he replied, and slid his mouth to her lips.
He nipped at them so she would open for him, and when she did, he kissed her deeply, dragging her into his arms. The thought that his father might wake and see them brought her hormones skidding to a halt inside her.
“Amir, we shouldn’t…in here,” she whispered.
He cast an eye over his father’s sleeping face, and then took her hand and practically dragged her out of the room, waiting till she pulled it almost closed before taking her mouth again.
“I don’t understand all that is happening between us, Alexandra, but I feel as though I have been away from you a lot longer than three days,” he murmured, nuzzling her ear with his lips. “We leave tomorrow at dawn,” he added, nipping the lobe, “and then you are all mine for the next twenty-four hours.”
“What happens to your father if there is an emergency?” she asked, ever mindful of her charge.
Although the old king could be brusque and petulant, she found that she liked him a lot. He was a fighter, and even when he was lost to memories of his Fatima, there was a core of steel in him that never wavered. She admired and respected him, especially when she thought back to the nursing home where she used to work, and some of the clients there who were not aging gracefully. Amir’s father reminded her of that Dylan Thomas poem she had fallen in love with in college, in that poetry class she had been forced to take as an elective and had come to love. “Do not go gentle into that good night,” Thomas had written. “Rage, rage against the dying of the light!” The old king was doing just that every day, and she was determined to help him until the end.
“Your substitute has a direct line to me, to Malik, and to the hospital. He will be safe.”
When Malik came to fetch her and Simone next morning, Alex was as excited as she used to be when her dad took them on a road trip. She had not been outside of the city limits since her arrival three weeks earlier, and she was eager to see something other than the four walls of the palace. The ride in the big black SUV was a thrill for her as they drove through the desert with what looked like miles of nothing but dry heat and sand dunes. After a couple of hours, she thought she saw a glimmer of something that looked like water.
“Is that a mirage, or am I really seeing water?” she asked Amir, pointing to the vision in the distance.
“It is the oasis to which we are heading,” he said, and grinned at her.
As they drew closer, Alex could see palms and other flora, and by the time the vehicle drew to a halt, she could also see the water source, a beautiful sparkling blue lake.
“Oh my, it’s beautiful!” she exclaimed, her face wreathed in smiles.
“I am happy you think so, habibti,” Amir said, helping her from the vehicle and lifting Simone down to stand between them.
It was hot, although it was not yet noon, and Alex was glad to get out of the scorching heat into one of the the large tents that had been erected close to the lake. Inside, Alex marveled at the luxurious appointments. Were it not for the sandy ground, she could be forgiven for thinking she was in a very upscale desert retreat. There was a large seating area, covered in throw pillows, a table and chairs, presumably for dining, and an enormous bed hidden behind mosquito netting and a discreet curtain. The table was already laid for lunch, and Alex was surprised at how cool it was inside. She watched as the men took the supplies for an overnight stay in the desert to the tent opposite to theirs, and when Amir invited her to sit with him, she gladly reclined on the luxurious couch. Simone climbed into her lap and promptly fell asleep.
“Later, when it is cooler, we will swim. She will enjoy that,” Amir said.
“Is this somewhere that your family visited often?” she asked.
“We only came here once, as a family,” he said. “It was the year my mother passed away. She asked to be brought here.”
He said no more, and Alex reached out to comfort him with a light touch. He took her hand and brought it to his lips.
“You have a quiet spirit,” he told her, “just like my mother did. I find it very calming.”
Alex blushed, feeling the weight of his compliment down to her toes. No one, aside from her father, had ever told her she had worth. No one had seen it, until Amir. She felt herself falling deeper for the man who was sitting next to her, watching her face. She didn’t know how to respond to his comment, so she kept silent and smoothed her hand over Simone’s hair.
One of his bodyguards came to the tent flap and spoke to Amir in their native language. He nodded and turned back to Alex.
“They’re ready for us, now,” he said.
“Where are we going?” she asked, letting him take Simone off her lap.
Before he could answer, the little girl woke up as he walked toward the SUV, and she looked up at him sleepily.
“Where’s Mommy?” she asked him.
“I’m right here, baby,” Alex reassured her, coming round in front of him so her daughter could see her. “Prince Amir is taking us for another ride in his big truck.”
“Can I call you Baba?” she asked next, and Alex noted how Amir froze, shock written clearly on his face for a long moment before he gathered himself and moved again.
“Do you know what ‘Baba’ means, little one?” he asked, looking gravely down into her face.
“My friend calls her father that,” she said, not directly answering his question.
Alex watched as Amir swallowed, placing her daughter securely in the car seat that he had had installed for her. Before he moved away, he asked,
“Why do you want to call me Baba, little one?”
Alex waited tensely for her daughter to reply. It had become clear to her, over the last three weeks, that Simone liked Amir and Malik, and she had even begin to warm up to the king. However, she had no idea that the little girl was looking at Amir as a father, and she was as shocked as he was. She hoped fervently that he didn’t think she had been planting any ideas in her daughter’s mind.
“Because you’re nice to me, like my friend’s daddy,” Simone replied simply, as though that was the major requirement for being a father.
Amir climbed into the front seat of the Range Rover and his head of security set the vehicle in motion after speaking quietly into the mic attached to his ear. She was glad for the distraction of the drive, which took them to a wadi, where she was treated to the sight of some kind of caravan of camels. And she was surprised to see that there was vegetation in such an arid place. The ride took them over and around some impressive dunes, and then they returned to the oasis, where lunch was served immediately.
It was too hot to eat much, but she made sure Simone drank all the water she was served, and ate some fruit. And when Amir suggested that she take a nap, she gratefully lay back against the plush pillows and closed her eyes, her daughter cradled in her arms. When she woke up, it was to find Simone sitting on a plush carpet with Malik playing some kind of game, and Amir next to her, watching her come awake. Her cheeks heated.
“How long have I been asleep?” she asked, struggling to regain some dignity, and testing to see if she had drooled.
“A few hours,” he replied.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t awake to take care of Simone,” she said next, wishing she had something to drink to wash the dryness from her mouth and throat.
As though she had spoken aloud, Amir stood and went to pour a glass of water for her. She accepted it gratefully and drank it all, feeling the welcome wetness relieving the parched feeling.
“Mmmmm, this is good,” she said, licking her lips, missing the look that crossed his face, and gladly accepted a second glass, which she sipped this time. “Thank you,” she murmured.
“Malik and I will leave you to change,” he said. “We’re going swimming before dinner. Half an hour okay?”
“Yes, of course,” she replied, smiling.
She looked around for her overnight bag, and he pointed it out before leaving the tent with Malik. The flap closed behind them completely, and she helped Simone into her bright white bathing suit with the yellow daisies, and covered her in sunscreen from head to toe, braiding her hair and pinning it atop her head, before hurriedly slipping on her own one-piece sapphire-blue halter-tied suit. She braided her own hair and pinned it up and was just about to apply sunscreen to herself when Amir called.
“Alexandra, are you decent?”
She walked to the tent flap, her body covered in a cotton coverall, her legs exposed, and pulled it aside.
“I was just going to put on some sunscreen,” she began, but he interrupted her.
“I’ll do that for you,” he said. “Come, little one,” he added, extending his hand to Simone, who took it and skipped outside to wait for her mother.
Alex picked up the towels, the sunscreen and her dark glasses and walked out, following him down to the lake. She was glad that the sun was going down, because though the heat was still fierce, it was waning. They set up under a large palm, and Simone screeched in delight when Malik ran with her into the water. Alex listened to her daughter’s happy laughter, and watched her for a moment, lost in memories of happy times with her own parents, before things went bad.
“Alexandra?”
Amir’s voice brought her back to the moment. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention,” she said.
“I forgive you,” he answered, smiling slightly. “The little one’s laughter is captivating.” He paused for a moment, just studying her face, before seeming to come to himself. “Ready for sunscreen?”
Alex handed him the bottle and removed the coverall, feeling heat slide up her cheeks and down her chest as he explored her body with his eyes. She wondered if his security detail was also inspecting her person as keenly, and inhaled deeply to ready herself for the touch of his hands. She would have to limit the amount of contact between them, especially in public. She knew how she responded to his caresses in private, and the last thing she needed was to have a similar kind of meltdown where his men and Malik, not to mention Simone, could see.
“I…I just need help with my back, please,” she said, her voice the texture of sand. “I will do the rest myself.”
He approached her, a knowing smile on his face, and murmured, “I promise to behave, Alexandra.”
He chuckled at her deepening blush and popped open the bottle, pouring some of the creamy liquid into his big palm. Handing it back to her, he rubbed his hands together and told her to turn around so he could slather it over her back and shoulder blades. His hands were warm and heavy, and he massaged her muscles a little as he worked the sunscreen into her skin. She managed not to moan in absolute pleasure at the sensuous feel of his hands sliding over her skin, and the raunchy images of those hands doing naughty things to her elsewhere on her person that assaulted her inner eye.
She gasped and pulled away from him. “Please…”
She didn’t know what she was pleading for. It might be mercy, because she was rapidly losing control, and any second now she was going to collapse against him in boneless bliss. What she wanted him to do was turn her around and kiss her senseless. What she did was step away from him and pour some of the sunscreen into her own shaking palm and rub it into her arms and on her chest and neck. She felt him move away as she finished covering her skin with it, and she heaved a sigh of relief. She walked down to the water’s edge and stuck her toe in. The water was surprisingly warm, and she waded in, laughing when Simone waded over and splashed her.
She frolicked with the little girl, laughing with her and thoroughly enjoying the water, eventually forgetting the man who made her pulse race and her core tighten with need. She swam lazy circles around Simone, helping her to float, and laughing when the child tried to dunk her. Simone squealed when Malik grabbed her from behind and splashed her, and the two of them played gleefully together while Alex watched and marveled at him. Malik was all big muscles and wide grins, with a little bit of a belly, and she wondered what kind of prince let his workers play with him as though they were honored guests or family.
“You’re thinking too much.”
Amir’s voice broke into her musings and she whirled to see him standing behind her, his chest gloriously exposed. Every wayward thought she had been harboring about him returned full force, and she sucked in a breath at his broad shoulders, lightly furred chest, with the darkest hair forming a trail down into his black swim trunks. The muscles on his upper body were well defined, and his six pack led past his navel in a gradual hard V down into his trunks, and she wondered what it would feel like to touch him there, to slide her hands over that expanse of wet chest, to slip inside his trunks and…
“If you keep looking at me like that, habibti, we might end up in a compromising position in front of my staff,” he said, moving closer.
Her eyes caught on the telltale bulge in his shorts and she stumbled back, tripped over her feet, and tumbled into the water. A hand reached in to pull her up and she grasped at it, but let go as soon as she surfaced and saw whose hand it was. She swam over to where Malik and Simone were still playing, and was promptly splashed. She laughed a little bit hysterically, and joined in the play, ignoring Amir and her growing desire for him. And when he struck out from the shore and began to swim, she made her way back to the little beach area and sat on the towel after she had dried herself a bit with it. She donned her sunglasses, ostensibly to shield her eyes from the brilliance of the setting sun, but really because she wanted to check him out without being obvious about it.
She was in so much trouble here, and mostly, she didn’t care. But that small voice of reason said she had to come clean with him before she let things go too far. If she had listened to that voice almost five years ago, she would not now be a single mother, and though she loved her daughter, she had not been a conscious choice on Alex’s part. She was done with happy accidents. She could only forgive herself the one she already had. If only she could think of a good time to tell him about Simon.