Liam

Kevin and Felicia loved her. I knew they would. What’s not to love? I think Felicia has found herself a new best friend, which is cool because she hates Amira. The double dating possibilities are endless, and the family outings would be great. The girls had a blast with Toby. The three of them played so hard, Toby passed out in Steve’s hammock in the yard while we all sat around the fire pit.

After a quick stop at my house for my things, we’re on our way home. Lourdes is sleeping in the seat next to me with her head propped against the glass. I hate taking them back to her apartment in that neighborhood, but at least I’ll be there on the couch tonight to make sure little man doesn’t take a walk on the wild side while she’s sleeping. I’d much rather be sleeping in her bed with my arms wrapped around her warm, soft body. Being in the same tiny apartment with her all night is going to be torture enough. I wouldn’t be much good to Toby in his mother’s bed, and that’s what I’m there for, right?

Wrong.

I do worry about him, but I’m pretty sure we could install a chain on the door and solve the problem easily. I hate leaving Lourdes every night. I worry about her. I don’t sleep. I lie in my waste of a king-sized bed and think about all of the things I want to do to her, the places on her body I want to explore, the secrets her clothes hide from me. I want to press my face against her neck and breathe her in for hours. I want to explore every dip and curve of her body and find the spots that drive her crazy. I want to taste her, feast on her, make her come over and over. I think about how it would feel to be inside of her and how it will sound when she screams my name, because she’s going to scream my name. It’s just a matter of time.

Fuck, I’m going to have to carry Toby inside with a raging boner if I don’t quit thinking about his mom like this. Mom. That’s it, think of my mom. That always ruins a good vibe. Not that she was a terrible mother. She tried, but parents are supposed to protect their kids at all costs. She didn’t protect my brother, Dylan, from my father. She knew he was dangerous, and part of me will always blame her for not escaping earlier.

Boner eliminated, and just in time. I pull into the parking lot and wake Lourdes. I lift a limp, dirt- and chocolate-covered Toby from his car seat, and we make our way inside.

“Go on to bed. I’ll clean his hands and face off and put him to bed.”

She surprises me by not arguing. Instead, she drags herself into her bedroom and falls into bed fully clothed. When Toby’s all tucked in, I turn his nightlight on and pull his door halfway shut. I only have to turn around in the tiny hallway to see her sleeping in her bed.

I lean my shoulder against the frame of the door and watch her chest rise and fall with every soft breath she takes. God, she’s so damn beautiful. She’s positioned exactly the way she fell into bed, with one hand thrown above her head and the other across her belly. The night light in her room is almost as bright as a small lamp, and it casts an angelic glow on her skin.

Her shoes are still on. I can’t resist the perfectly good excuse to be closer to her. I shove off the door and toe off my shoes just inside her room. I close the small gap that separates us in three steps and stand inches from her. She’s even more fascinating up close. Her eyes drift back and forth under her lids, and I wonder what she’s dreaming about or if she’s dreaming at all. I’m almost afraid to remove her shoes. I don’t want to wake her, and I can’t be sure that I would stop with just her shoes.

Her head turns toward the light, and she mumbles something, but I can’t understand what she’s said. I have to take off her shoes. She can’t sleep like this. Clothes, maybe, but she’s sort of a germaphobe, and I know she’d freak if she knew her shoes touched her sheets.

I crouch down and carefully slide one sandal and then the other off and lay them on the floor next to the bed. I’m eye level with her entire body now, and she’s so inviting, so intoxicating that my fingers twitch. I’ve never wanted anything more than to ravish this woman right now.

And then I hear her again. This time, clear as crystal, she says my name.

“Liam.”

I take a deep breath in and blow it out. The sound of her sighing my name in her sleep nearly drives me over the edge. I drop my chin to my chest and clasp my hands together in front of me. My desire for her is physically painful, my cock is rock hard, my muscles tense, and if I don’t get out of here, I’m bound to break a tooth from clenching my jaw so tight.

I raise my head a bit and risk one last glance at her. She curls up on her side and slides her hands, palms together, under her pillow.

“I want to kiss you,” I say, and she smiles in her sleep. I stand and pull a throw blanket from the foot of her bed to cover her. I back out of her room, and just when I’m pulling the door closed, I hear her again.

“I want you to kiss me,” she says so softly that I can’t be sure she said it at all.

I grip the doorknob and close my eyes, mustering every last bit of restraint I have left. When I’m fifty percent sure that I’m not going to cave—because it’s not getting any surer than that—I let go and leave her to lie down on the couch. It smells like her here. She napped with Toby on this couch today. I take her throw pillow and stuff it under my head. The television remote is on the coffee table within my reach. I snatch it and punch the power button. Distraction. That’s what I need. I have to forget that she’s sleeping just a few steps away in the next room, sighing my name and asking me to kiss her. No television show is going to do that, but I try until I’m fed up with the stupid reruns and infomercials that are on in the middle of the night. I brought my laptop. I need to work. The only thing that consumes my mind as much as Lourdes is music, and it’s the only thing I know of that will get me through this night.

Two hours later, I have decided that this isn’t going to work long-term. She needs help, and being in such close quarters with this woman is killing me. There’s no way I can do it every night. She’s going to have to move into my house, and that’s that. I’ve wanted her out of this neighborhood from the first time I brought her home from the club six weeks ago. I have an entire level of my house that no one ever uses, four thousand square feet of living space wasted. She and Toby will be comfortable there temporarily while she’s pregnant. After she has the baby, the plan is to buy her a house in Berkeley so she can be close to school, but until then, she’s living with us. Amira will just have to understand, and if she doesn’t, tough shit.