“You think I should cry?” Iris squealed with hysteria. “At the dinner table? Are you insane?” She was actually bent double with laughter, this was the funniest thing she’d heard in a very long time. The idea was completely ludicrous, which made it all the more hilarious.

“Maybe I am,” Daisy chuckled just as gleefully. It was so lovely to see her friend full of mirth, it made the whole mad plan worth it. She knew that she’d do anything to cheer Iris up, even if it was insane. “But have you ever noticed how it is impolite to show emotion when around others? I think wealthy people consider it an act of the poor.”

“Maybe you are right, although I can hardly be considered an expert on what is and is not acceptable having spent very little time with others. What if I cannot cry? I do not think that weeping on command is something that I can do.”

“Then you should laugh. Loudly, obnoxiously, make him feel uncomfortable in the middle of your meeting. I do not think men understand that women laugh. It is ridiculous. Oh, and do not curtsy. You must not curtsy under any condition.”

“Even if he bows?” Iris screwed up her nose in disgust. This was something that had been ingrained into her from a very young age. She could not imagine ignoring that tradition, it would be very difficult. Her instincts would undoubtedly force her into it, regardless of how hard she tried not to. “Are you mad?”

“How about talking about driving?”

“But I do not know how to drive...” Iris did not understand this at all. Why would she lie to this gentleman? It made no sense.

“Of course you do not, it isn’t permitted for women to drive. If the Duke believes you do things that are not supposed to, he might be put off.” Daisy could see that was not going to work. Iris wanted to rebel, she wanted to act out of character, but she couldn’t get all her life lessons out of her head. It had been forced upon her since birth. “Or maybe you should hint that you owe a tradesperson money.”

“What?” Iris was stunned by these suggestions. They seemed too silly for words. She knew that there were a lot of complicated expectations in polite society, but really thinking about it was starting to give her a headache. “Why would that matter?”

“Everything matters with the wealthy. You could even offer to lend him money, that would really insult him.”

“I do not think I can do any of those things.” Iris looked helpless, like the end of her life was coming. “They all seem far too hard. I know I need to act differently to make this man want someone else, but I do not think that I will be able to go through with it when the time comes.”

Daisy paused, realising that Iris was probably right. In front of her, she could act in any way that she wanted, but with others, she reverted right back into her shell. Maybe if she had been encouraged out much sooner it would not have become such a shock to her system.

“That is alright, we will rule out anything that you have to say. Maybe we can make it about how you appear instead.”

Still, Iris could not shake the uncomfortable sensation that this wasn't right. If she wasn't so desperate to escape this arrangement she would put an end to it already. But every time she felt like giving up, she remembered what would happen to her if she did.

“What do you mean? How can my look put him off?”

“It will be very difficult,” Daisy admitted. “You are extremely beautiful. So much so that the Duke might wish to marry you however vulgar you are.”

“Do not say that,” Iris begged. “Do not leave me with no hope whatsoever. I am not that beautiful. Especially if I do nothing with myself. Right now, for example. I do not look beautiful right now.”

"You truly do not see yourself, do you?" Daisy felt amazed. Iris was the best-understated beauty that she had ever seen in her life. People raved about her wonderful, natural looks before she retired to her bedroom. Daisy knew for certain that if her mother hadn't died, the marriage proposals would have come from everywhere. "Iris, you are so beautiful that the whole world would want to be you if they could see you. Plus, you have the name. The name is worth a lot."

Iris pouted out her lips, she knitted her eyebrows together and she tried to contort her face into as ugly an expression as possible. "I do not want to be beautiful, Daisy, I do not want the name. I just want to be free."

“Then let us practice walking,” Daisy announced with a smile. “You will wear a slightly muddied dress and you will walk without any grace. That will be much easier than having to say anything.”

Daisy grabbed hold of Iris’s hand and she allowed herself to be dragged upright. There was a giggle, bubbling up in her throat, she could feel it in her chest. It was only this mirth that allowed her to continue with this insane plan. If it wasn’t so funny, she probably would have succumbed to hopelessness already. Despite where it would lead.

"I recall my lessons in posture when I was a very young child," Iris said as she stood at one end of the room. "My mother hired an expert in that sort of thing to help me and my sisters to get a head start." She smiled to herself as she remembered. "I always thought it was more for me than anyone else. I was the one who lacked in everything. Olivia has always been graceful, and Elizabeth is a very quick learner." Iris grabbed a book from the shelf nearby and she balanced it on top of her head. "She made us walk across the room for hours and hours. One foot in front of the other."

Daisy laughed at the sight of Iris doing a slightly awkward walk. She could tell that without the book, she would be very good at being graceful, but it was impossible for anyone to not look silly like that.

“You are walking like a penguin,” she giggled while clutching onto her stomach. “Why did your mother feel the need to torture you so much?”

“You try it,” Iris demanded. “Let us see if you can do any better.”

Daisy tried, she really did, but actually, the whole balancing a book on her head while she tried to move her feet was more challenging than it appeared. Every time her foot moved, the book slipped. If she shot her hands up to catch it, she lost her balance and her posture, and if she didn't the book fell to the ground with a loud bang.

“See?” Iris practically yelled with glee. “I told you. It is not easy. I was seven years old when I started.”

“Right, well we are not here to teach me how to walk anyway,” Daisy declared, trying to disguise her embarrassment. “We need you to forget how to do all of those things. So it would be a good thing if you try to walk without that grace.”

“Yes, of course.”

Iris stood back against the wall and she tried to walk without grace. She moved her feet in a way that was clunky and heavy, she let her back sag and her shoulder fall forwards. Actually, she felt like she was actually getting it!

“No, no, no, you cannot walk like that. You look like a gorilla. You need to be more like this, more natural...”

Daisy walked with the swagger of a common girl. She exaggerated it slightly to help Iris get the point. She threw her hands on her hips, she smiled and wiggled, she even blew a kiss to Iris. She was being a caricature of herself and every other common girl she knew.

“Oh my goodness, Daisy, that’s too much.”

“No, I know, but a bit like that.”

Iris tried, but again it was comical. She went too far with trying to throw off all the lessons she’d spent her entire life learning. It was so ingrained within her to act in a certain way that a few hours with Daisy wasn’t about to change all of that.

Daisy took the limelight again and did it in a more subtle way. If she could get Iris to shake off her learnings even slightly, then she felt certain that they could do it. Time was against them, that much was clear, but she was determined and it seemed Iris was too. She hadn't ever seen her concentrating so hard before.

"Now, try it like that. A little less... everything. A little less hip, less stamp, a lot fewer feet dragging. You need to seem natural as if you never had the lessons in the first place."

“Less,” Iris sighed and nodded. “Yes, I can do that,”

* * *

“This is not going to work, is it?” Daisy asked with exasperation on her tone. “We cannot shake off everything that you’ve been taught.”

"I am so sorry." Iris was furious with herself. She couldn't remember ever putting so much effort into anything before, but still, it wasn't going anywhere. Every time she felt like she was getting somewhere, she fell again. There was no way she could keep it up long term. "I know that I am hopeless."

"No, it is not that." Daisy didn't want Iris to feel bad, it wasn't her fault. This was just the way that things were. "We should just come up with another plan."

She didn't think it would be a good idea to send Iris into a meeting at the moment, just in case she didn't instantly fall for the Duke. It would be a disaster and it would only ruin the Warwick reputation. Robert had spent his entire life trying to maintain it, Daisy didn't know a lot of things about him but she knew how important that was to him.

She didn’t want the reason it fell apart to be because of her. He had paid her well for the last few years, that she could not complain about.

“What do you think?” Iris asked wearily. “Should I say some of those things that you suggested earlier?”

“I thought you wouldn’t be able to.”

“No. I do not think I will.”

They sat in silence for a while, both lost in their own thoughts. Iris was slowly slipping into that awful pit of depression, while Daisy searched for a way out.

“Maybe...” she pursed her lips and squeezed her eyes shut, hating herself for even suggesting this. She was just so desperate to help out her friend, it was getting to the stage where she would do anything to look out for her. “Maybe we should reconsider swapping places.”

“But... that was a joke, right?” Iris whispered in shock. “You did not really mean it when you said it.”

Her heart pounded in her chest, she could almost feel her pulse in her ears it was so violent. The more she tried to make herself uncouth, the more desperate she became to put an end to all of this. She just wanted the marriage proposal to go away. Her years locked away from the world had done nothing to help her prepare for it.

“I did not mean it,” Daisy admitted. “But I am starting to think that it might be the only way out.”

“Do you... think that we will get away with it?” Iris did not dare to breathe as she waited for a response. This was almost too much for her to dare dream of. She felt guilty for putting her friend into such an awkward position, but if it was the only way out then she had no choice?

“Well, your uncle does not know you, your betrothed does not know you. We do not look too dissimilar.” Daisy cursed herself with every single word that fell out of her mouth. Why did she have to adore Iris so much? If only she could feel the same professional detachment that she had with the rest of the family, everything would be so much easier. “If I was dressed up like a lady then maybe I could pass for it... and if you wore my maid’s uniform you could pass for me. We would,” she gulped loudly, “we would have to inform the other servants, I suppose. Maybe...”

“It seems very complicated, doesn’t it? Maybe it is too much.”

Iris stood up and paced the room, really thinking it through. She wanted this, she yearned for it so badly that it killed her, but she did not intend to cause her friend trouble along the way.

“It could be fun?” Daisy suggested. “We could maybe try it out once your uncle gets here, see if he believes us. If he does not, we can tell him it was a little childish trick. He might be offended but it is unlikely that he will be too angry at us. He will just assume that we are bored young ladies, trying to have some fun.”

"Yes, I could serve your table." Iris felt the thrill building up inside of her again. That much was possible, she could actually imagine them doing that without too much trouble. "Then we could tell him it was just tomfoolery if it came to it."

Neither of them really wanted to think about what would happen if it did work. This plan seemed to work much better if they took it one step at a time.

“So I shall teach you how to be a lady at dinner, and you shall teach me how to serve a table.” Iris threw her hand over her friend’s shoulder. “It will be fun.”

If they considered it as a game, it didn’t feel so serious. If they just thought about themselves playing a role, they could just forget about any potential pain they could cause or any mess they might find themselves in. They both knew that it was not right to do this, but Iris was desperate, she needed help.

For the first time ever, Daisy did not want to toughen Iris up, she wanted to shield her from the things that could cause her. This was a brand new sensation for her, and she could not seem to shake it.

"I suppose we should start in the kitchen then since everything always begins in there. Start you from the ground up."

Iris’s breath caught in her throat. She could not remember ever being in the kitchen in her own home, and she was oddly excited by the idea. She wanted to examine the serving staff, to see how they behaved so she could throw herself into the role. She could almost feel herself becoming a maid as they spoke.

Maybe then she would find out if her romantic notions about how other people lived actually became anything... even if only for a short while.

“Once you have shown me everything, I will take you to my wardrobe and you can pick out any dress that you want. I am sure you must have had your eye on at least one of them. I think I have seen you looking at the purple one a few times...”

Daisy could barely contain her excitement. That was like a dream come true for her. A lady’s dress, a lady’s hair, she could really get used to this. This was a terrible, dangerous plan, but the idea thrilled her massively.

“Yes, thank you, Iris.” She held her hand tightly. “That sounds absolutely wonderful.”