CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Jonathan sat in the darkened room in the hospital wing next to the bed where Cassie lay unconscious. Everyone said she just needed to sleep. The doctor and nurse had gone away. Once they had, Jonathan had tried to wake her up anyway, to reassure himself that she was okay, but she remained dead to the world.
Should he pray for her? It probably wouldn’t do any good. As a teenager, he’d prayed every night for months for a miracle for his mother. Since that time, he hadn’t asked for any healing, though he often asked for strength and wisdom. Those requests hadn’t always been answered, either, but maybe that was his fault.
He sent up a prayer for the peace of Lucia’s soul. She hadn’t believed in God, but he didn’t believe in a God that punished people for things that harmed no one. Lucia had worked night and day trying to figure out the codex and help Cassie. Had Jonathan ever even remembered to thank her? No, he hadn’t. He remembered his irate tone with her when she’d just been following orders by debriefing Cassie on Manus Sancti. His only consolation was that Lucia probably didn’t care what he thought of her since he’d never gotten to know her as well as he should have. Sophie had been better friends with her when they’d all been in London and he’d still been dating Sophie. It was strange to think that Sophie wouldn’t even know about Lucia’s death, but leaving Manus Sancti had been her decision.
Lucia’s heartrending scream at the other end of the phone echoed in Jonathan’s consciousness. At the end, she’d been so brave, hanging on until he contacted her, laying down her life rather than endanger the group. Samir should be very proud of her. But Samir had always been proud of her, and now she was gone.
Jonathan said a brief prayer for Samir, as well, wishing him comfort and strength. It seemed pointless, though. Samir and Lucia had been engaged—planning their wedding at Anantara, the beautiful estate in Saint Augustine, and their married life together. What comfort could there be for Samir?
Footsteps sounded behind him, and Val sat down in the chair next to him. She’d left a few hours earlier, and he suddenly realized how tired he was. She set one of the biodegradable containers from the cantina on the table. “I didn’t know if you’d gotten a chance to eat.”
He hadn’t. The spicy smell of the food, whatever it was, revolted him. “Thank you.”
She slipped her hand in his. “You know she’s going to wake up, right? All the tests say she’s fine.”
He could tell her what he’d kept thinking when the doctors had assured him of this. “They thought my mother would wake up.”
“They hoped. But it was different since no one could Read her.”
Jonathan had refused the doctors who’d asked him to go into Cassie’s psyche. They’d needed to do it to make sure everything was normal, but in her state, he was afraid he’d accidentally hurt her or make things worse. They’d brought Val in to do it, which hadn’t worried him, because Val could drift into another psyche so lightly. She’d assured everyone that there was no damage. “I didn’t tell you this with the doctors here, but Cassie’s psyche is more beautiful than ever.” Val squeezed his hand. “She’s fine.”
A dark suspicion still clung to his mind.
“What?” she asked.
“Michael and now Lucia. I feel like I’m cursed on missions.”
“Neither one was your fault! You’ve saved so many lives. I’ve seen you do it. Cassie thinks you’re about the last thing from a curse. Maybe she hasn’t told you she loves you yet, but—”
“She did.” It lit a small hope in him, shining in the darkness.
Val smiled. “The bond between you two is so strong.”
Did he catch a note of wistfulness in her voice? As far as he knew, Val had never dated anyone. To him, she was simultaneously a child and a Mage of formidable power, although he supposed the first thing wasn’t true anymore. Relationships were so difficult for strong empaths that they often remained alone. The thought made him appreciate even more how lucky he was to have Cassie.
After a little while, Val left him again, and he looked at Cassie where she lay in serene, deep sleep. They could have the things Samir and Lucia had wanted, things many people wanted: a wedding, a shared life. A family, maybe—the thought of it filled him with longing. If Cassie were a fellow Knight, they could always be together, or at least as long as they lived.
The idea of her becoming one still scared the hell out of him. After seeing what she was capable of, though, it was almost hard to imagine her doing anything else. And if she were a Knight, she’d know how to defend herself in more ordinary ways, as well.
No matter what one chose, there were no guarantees of safety. Maybe that was all the more reason for them to do what they wanted most and to get as much joy out of their lives as they could.
Cassie woke up in a hospital bed with Jonathan lying next to her. Panic sent her heart into overtime, and she grabbed his shoulder. “What happened? Did I hurt you?”
“Cassie! Hey.” She’d woken him up. “No, no you didn’t.” Tenderness filled his voice.
She remembered Lucia. Then the attack of the birds. “Oh my God.” In her disoriented state, it was too much, and her throat tightened with sobs. Jonathan pulled her close to him. Someone had put her in a hospital gown, but he was wearing a T-shirt and jeans—he wasn’t a patient. She sank into the blessed comfort of his strong, warm body.
“You passed out,” he said. “At first, we thought it was a stroke. The way you were glitching.”
She frowned, remembering her babbling. “And Val was in my psyche.” Or had she dreamed that part?
“She didn’t erase the memory of her being there?”
Cassie shook her head. Maybe it meant she and Val were friends now. “She said you all had to make sure nothing was damaged.”
“They did an MRI, a bunch of tests. You’re completely fine.”
They had time to do all that? She drew back to look at him. “How long have I been out?”
“A little more than a day.”
“God.” She rubbed her eyes.
“They say you burned up too much energy with the animal spell. Controlling something across the world…” He gave a wondering shake of his head. “You told me, but I didn’t believe you.”
“I didn’t know for sure.”
He stroked back a strand of hair that had fallen into her face. “How are you feeling?”
“I think I’m okay. I’m sad.” The shock of Lucia’s death had settled somewhere deep in her bones. She hurt all over. “How are you?”
“The same.” He grabbed her hand and kissed it, a quick, impulsive gesture familiar to her by now. “But a lot better, now that you’re conscious.” She’d given him a scare on top of everything else.
“Wait. Were there any other animal attacks?” Maybe her spell had found the other men who attacked Lucia.
“Andre’s team was watching for them, but no.”
“What about the Knights in Rome? Did they track any of them down?”
“No. I’ve been getting updates on everything on my phone.” Had he been here the whole time? His face settled in grim lines. “The Knights went through Lorenzo’s apartment—the palaeographist who got killed. Lorenzo had started helping Lucia on her translation of the codex, but the Tribunal took Lorenzo’s computer and ransacked his books and papers.”
So strange that a group of humans would exist for centuries, trying to bring Manus Sancti down. Or maybe it wasn’t any stranger than Manus Sancti itself. “They think you’re like the Illuminati,” she said.
“Yeah.”
“Well?”
His brow puckered. “You’re asking if we want to secretly take over the world? Don’t you think I would have told you?”
“No,” she said. “Because it would be secret.”
“Well, there’s nothing like that.” He looked beyond weary. “I’ll always tell you anything you want to know, I promise. And probably some things you don’t.”
She kissed him on the cheek, and they were quiet for a minute. Her mind returned to the codex. “So they have the translation.” They could find someone else who could use the animal spell. She gritted her teeth at the thought of those monsters using her magic.
Jonathan shook his head. “Lorenzo and Lucia wouldn’t have used the computer. Lucia wouldn’t have trusted it for security. She mailed the latest translations to our safe house in Taos, tucked in a big stack of Italian fashion magazines.” Damn, that was clever. “We’re sure they didn’t get anything from Lucia about the codex or about us. She dropped too fast.”
Cassie’s stomach felt like a lead weight. “Did they find her body?” Jonathan barely nodded. “Did they do anything to her?”
He gave her a pleading look. “You don’t want—”
“You have to tell me!”
He’d just told her he’d never keep secrets, but he looked like he was about to be sick. “They gouged out one of her eyes. They must have done it immediately.”
Oh no. Oh God. Her hands flew over her mouth.
Jonathan pulled her close again. “I know.”
Hatred coursed through her veins. “I’m going to kill them,” she whispered. “Why didn’t my animals get to all of them?”
“We talked about that, too. It seems like you have to know what someone looks like.” That sounded right to her. “I’m so glad you didn’t,” he added with soul-deep sincerity. “Multiple long-distance attacks… That much power might have broken you.”
“Maybe it would have been worth it.” She wanted them torn to shreds.
The corner of his mouth turned up in a rueful half smile. “It’s no wonder Capitán wants you with us.”
“Right,” she said, cautious. Her heart couldn’t take another bitter fight, not now.
“Does knowing what happened with Lucia… I wonder if that changes your thinking about it.” He didn’t want a fight, either. She could hear it in his voice.
“It does.” She looked in his eyes—beautiful eyes the color of the sky before a rain. “Now I know I want to join.” He said nothing. “They killed Lucia because of me.” Jonathan began to object, and she cut him off. “I never even heard of them before, and they killed her and some old guy I never met over my codex. And I hear about your guys’ missions. There are bad people and bad things out there, and I can help fight them. I want to.” He still didn’t say anything. That drove her crazy. “Are you mad at me?”
“No. God, no.” He let out a harsh sigh. “I know it’s your choice. I’m scared for you, and at the same time, I’m…very proud of you.” He shook his head. “And I can’t help it. I’m so glad you’re going to be here with me.” His forehead creased. “Not that you’re committed forever. I mean whatever happens, I’ll always be your friend—”
“Shut up,” she interrupted him. “You know I love you.”
He cupped the side of her face and kissed her like he was drinking the words from her mouth.