CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
The flight was uneventful, and I was relieved to finally be at the resort. Jackson arranged for me to have a suite, complete with a private swimming pool outside my patio doors. It was lush — even more so than the Four Seasons — and when I arrived, I found a note from Kennedy.
Claire,
I’m truly sorry this happened to you. Of all the people I know, you’re the sweetest and deserve so much better. Relax, enjoy, and splurge a little. You have an appointment already made at the spa. Use it. The hotel will accept no money from you, so enjoy a steak, buy a cute bikini, and take a dip in the pool.
We all love you very much,
Kennedy
Tears flowed from her kindness. She hadn’t said “I told you so” as I’d feared. She was classy, kind, and extremely generous.
Kennedy’s advice was taken, and I was starting to feel more like my old self. The spa appointment was an all-day event, and after so much pampering, I fell asleep on my enormous bed for what felt like days.
A knock on the door pulled me back into reality. I hadn’t ordered room service, although I was starving. Maybe Kennedy had the front desk keeping an eye on me and knew I hadn’t eaten. I laughed to myself and flung open the door.
It was Shep.
He stood there, his hands shoved in his pockets, looking extremely nervous.
“Shep?” I squeaked, confused that he would even know where to find me. “What are you doing here?”
His dark eyes simmered with uncertainty and compassion and something else that made my heart squeeze in my chest.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I had to check on you after… well, after I heard what happened.”
I didn’t mind, I realized. I was actually very happy to see him, happier than I would have expected to be.
“No, come in,” I said, no longer fearing tabloids catching our actions. I had been through enough, there wasn’t much more they could do to me.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Aiden,” he said. “I just felt like you wouldn’t believe me anyways.”
He was right, I wouldn’t have.
“It’s okay, like you said, it wasn’t your story to tell.” I chewed my bottom lip. “But, you didn’t know about Elle, did you?”
“No, of course not,” Shep said quickly. “But, it didn’t surprise me.”
Shep sat down on the soft white sofa and looked around the room. “This is a hell of a place.”
“Yes, it’s my friend’s resort. They only have the best.”
“It’s very—”
“How did you find me?” I blurted out, interrupting him but unable to stop myself. The question couldn’t go unasked a second longer.
Shep worked his hands together and stared into my eyes as he took a deep breath. “Don’t be mad,” he said cautiously, “but I called your friend Asher.”
I sank into the oversized stuffed chair across from Shep and stared into his deep dark eyes. Asher was so protective, and after the tabloids, I couldn’t believe he would give Shep my whereabouts.
“And, he just told you where I was?”
“No, not exactly.” He ran a hand through his hair, and I’d never seen him look so embarrassed. “I had to do a lot of begging, and he spent quite a while checking me out. That’s why I wasn’t here sooner.” He laughed, which make me laugh. I loved that Asher put him through hell before he would give up any information.
“Why didn’t Asher just call me and ask?”
Shep’s eyes were still filled with amusement. “More begging on my part. I asked him not to.” He pointed a finger at me. “I want you to know I’ve never begged for anything in my life.”
Something deep in my stomach twisted. “Then why did you?” I asked softly, almost breathlessly.
He scrubbed his hands over his face. “Because I wanted to surprise you, and because I was afraid you would say no.”
I knew there was a good chance I would have said no. I’d come here to be alone, and after Aiden made such a fool of me, having any man around wasn’t something I felt fondly about, with the exception of Jackson and Asher of course.
Silence stretched between us as we gazed at each other, the electricity seeming to change in the room.
I cleared my throat, needing to say something. “Will you tell me what the warnings were about in Boston?”
Shep’s eyes dropped to the floor, and he continued to work his hands like they were a wet rag. “Aiden and I were roommates in college. Best friends actually.”
I was shocked. Aiden never once mentioned that he knew Shep personally, let alone were friends. My mind reeled with reasons why Aiden would keep that from me. It didn’t matter.
“We had a falling out when Aiden took advantage of my little sister,” Shep said. “She was only sixteen, and he had taken her out and gotten her drunk. I came back to the dorm and found them in bed together. She could barely open her eyes.”
The pain he felt from the memory was written on his face.
“I’m so sorry.”
He nodded and met my eyes again. “Aiden was a Romeo, a player, and he was good at the game. He still is.”
I leaned back into my chair and wrapped my arms around my knees. “He never told me that you were friends before,” I admitted. “I’m not surprised that he hid that from me though, knowing the details of how your friendship ended.”
“He’s a horribly selfish man, Claire, and he uses people to get what he wants.” He leaned forward, the look on his face so earnest. “I hadn’t seen him in a long time and had hoped he’d grown up, had become a better man.”
“I should have listened to you,” I whispered. “I should have listened to my friend. To my intuition.”
“It’s—”
I held up a hand, and he stopped talking. He gave me a little smile to go on.
“I was raised to be polite and kind, to bend over backwards to please people. That’s what I’ve done all my life. Not made waves. Been the caregiver. I stayed with my first boyfriend for most of my life because it was comfortable. Easy.” I barked out a laugh. “Well, it was easy until he left me.”
Shep stood and walked over to the little refrigerator. He pulled out two bottles of water and handed one to me. I smiled my thanks and watched him take a long sip. But he said nothing. Just waited for me to continue.
“You’ve been my idol for a long time, and when I first saw you, I was all fan girl.”
He laughed, and I smiled at the memory of meeting him for the first time. I’d been so innocent then. Stupid and naïve to the ways of the world. I’d grown up so much over the past weeks. God, I hope I have!
“It’s funny. I wouldn’t let myself be attracted to you because you were a judge and I didn’t want anyone to think I was being favored.” I rolled my eyes and groaned. “Look at where that got me.”
Shep laughed again but sobered quickly. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s hard living your life in front of a camera and with people pushing you in different directions. It makes for good drama. That’s why reality shows thrive.”
It was my turn to groan. “Think I’ll be nominated for Biggest Idiot in a Reality Show?”
His dark eyes grew darker. “Stop it! You so happen to be one of my favorite people, and I don’t like to hear my favorite people speak about themselves that way.”
My face burned, and I pressed the ice cold bottle of water against my cheek. “How can I still possibly be a favorite?”
“Because I can see past all of that, Claire. I can see the path you were pushed down and the reasons behind it. You’re right. It would have been impossible for us to be together during the show. No one would have ever believed you won based on your own talent. It was I who was the fool for pursuing you.”
I licked my lips, and his eyes followed the movement. “Then why did you?”
He exhaled a long breath. “Have you ever looked at something and knew right away that you needed it in your life?”
I nodded.
“You don’t know how special you are, do you?” he asked gently, and my face burned even more. I blinked hard and pressed the back of my hand to my nose to keep the emotion at bay. It didn’t work. “Claire, don’t cry. I don’t want to pressure you. I just wanted to see you in person and tell you how sorry I am for my role in how everything went down. And I want you to know that my feelings haven’t changed and that I’m proud of you.”
My head jerked up at that, and I scoffed, a sound so harsh it hurt my throat.
“Yes. I’m proud of you.”
“How can you be? I slept with…” I couldn’t say Aiden’s name.
“Shit, Claire, this is the twenty-first century.” His voice was louder now, his face angry. “You can sleep with whoever you want to, whenever you want to. Hell, you’ve slept with how many men in your life? Two?”
I nodded, embarrassed at the admission.
He jumped up from the couch and began to pace the room. “Fuck anyone who wants to look down on you for that. You had every right to sleep with that asshole. You believed in him, and I’m sure you were attracted to him. You did nothing wrong!”
I don’t know why, but I laughed. Laughed at the vehemence in his eyes. Or maybe at the relief I felt for not being the horrible person I’d thought I was.
He stopped pacing. “What’s so funny?”
I twisted open the water and took a long drink. “I don’t know,” I finally confessed. “I just can’t believe you’re here, defending me after everything that’s happened.”
He walked in front of me and extended his hand. I stared at it for a long time before taking it. He pulled me to my feet and removed the bottle of water from my hand, setting it on the table next to me.
My heart raced when his hands came down on my shoulders. “Look at me.”
I swallowed hard and looked up, meeting his eyes.
“You have a competition to win. Right now, nothing else matters. Got it?”
I’ve never seen eyes so kind. I nodded because I wasn’t able to speak.
He squeezed my shoulders tighter. “This thing between you and me, let’s put it on hold so you can focus. Then, I want us to talk. See where we both stand. Decide how or if to move forward.”
I reached up and cupped his cheek with my hand. “That sounds like a good plan.”
He smiled and turned his head to kiss my palm. “You can win this.”
I wanted to pull his face down to mine. I wanted to kiss his lips. Wanted to make love to him. Lose myself in his strength and scent. Instead, I took a step closer and simply hugged him tight and sighed as his arms came around me.
He had come all this way to find me, to tell me about Aiden and offer encouragement. He truly was a gentleman, and I’d overlooked him for the bad boy, imagine that!
“I don’t know if I can beat him,” I confessed against his chest.
“You can, I’ll help you,” Shep said. “We have five days to prepare.”
Excitement returned, and my adrenaline started to flow once again through my veins. I was ready. I wanted this. I wanted to win. I looked up at him. “Yes, let’s do it!”
He spun me around and then put me back on my feet, holding me close again. I pressed my face into his chest and breathed him in. His scent instantly took me back to the night in the hotel. He was so attentive, so skillful. So…
Focus Claire!
“Thank you for helping me,” I whispered.
Shep pulled me from his chest and looked down at me with a wide smile. “Let’s go to Austin and get you ready to kick some ass!”