Chapter Thirteen

THE ROOM was dark when Jordan woke. His phone on the nightstand said one thirty when he tapped the button. With a groan, he dragged himself upright. His head pounded, telling him he was probably still dehydrated, so after taking a quick leak, he downed a glass of water from the bathroom sink.

As he replayed the events of that afternoon, he cringed. He’d been really stupid not to stop and drink something in the Texas heat. He’d been so worried about Marina, he knew he wouldn’t be hungry, but he should have forced himself to drink. Crumpling to the dirt in front of Russ and everyone else was 100 percent mortifying. He was going to have real trouble facing any of them in the morning.

A quick glance in the mirror made him wince. His eyes were bloodshot and underscored with deep purple rings. His cheeks looked sunken and sallow.

“And you wondered why Russ didn’t jump all over this,” he grumbled to himself. “You should be lucky he didn’t run away screaming.”

Except he hadn’t looked this bad when he was flirting with Russ. He’d spent forever in front of the mirror to make sure of that, and Russ still hadn’t wanted him.

The rejection stung, no matter how many times he tried to convince himself that Russ was just an asshole who had a hang-up about rich people—that it was nothing personal. It felt personal. It felt all kinds of personal.

Not good enough.

That was what it always boiled down to. He wasn’t deluded about his looks, his abilities, or his intelligence. He had a decent amount of all of that… just never enough, it seemed, not for anyone in his life.

Closing his eyes, he dragged his hands down his face and shuffled out of the bathroom. If he kept looking in the mirror, the rest of the night might turn into a downward spiral of those kinds of thoughts and he’d be useless in the morning. It was Saturday. The weekenders would be coming, and both Phyllis and Russ had warned him of an impending Girl Scout troop they’d need his help with.

He shivered. After the emotional upheavals of that week, he wasn’t sure he had it in him to be “on” all day tomorrow. Maybe he should just tell Phyllis he wasn’t feeling well and stay in bed. He’d fainted, after all. She’d hardly begrudge him a bit of time off. It wasn’t like he was getting paid for his time.

An image of Russ’s disapproving scowl flashed in his mind and refused to be banished. Jordan couldn’t do it. Russ would probably make some crack about the trust-fund baby needing a personal day or something. He’d already shown enough weakness for one week. He’d spend the entire day fighting with himself and battling that tidal wave with no distractions if he didn’t go to work, so looking at it that way, he really had no choice.

Dragging his weary body over to the dresser, he grabbed a fresh set of borrowed work clothes and pulled them on. As he buttoned and zipped the jeans, a small smile fought its way to the surface. At least he’d managed to get in Russ’s pants… in a manner of speaking.

At Marina’s stall, Jordan saw that the mare seemed to be resting comfortably for the night. He checked her over as best he could with a flashlight, but couldn’t detect any problems with his admittedly limited experience. Not wanting to disturb her, he moved back up the aisle and rubbed the neck of any curious head that poked out.

The short trek out to the barn reminded him of how tired he really was, so after snagging some leftover chicken and rice and beans from the kitchen and downing another glass of water, he returned to his room. Thankfully, sleep came quickly again, and he didn’t wake up until he heard his door creak just before dawn.

Blinking blearily at the paneled white wood in the semidarkness, he was confused for a second, since it remained closed, but eventually he just shrugged and rolled out of bed to get ready for the day.

After his shower, he spent several long minutes in front of the mirror again, inspecting himself. He still didn’t exactly look his best, but after a shave and using the last of a very fancy bottle of face cream he probably couldn’t afford to replace, he doubted he’d scare the kiddies.

He didn’t feel up to putting on the charm today. He really didn’t. He felt useless and weak and just a little broken, but the show must go on. He was still a Thorndike, after all, even if his father didn’t want him to be. Thorndikes weren’t quitters, whatever else they might be.

Breakfast was as bad as he’d thought it would be. Everyone hovered over him, making sure he ate until he felt like he was going to throw up. He kept his smile firmly in place and thanked them politely for all their concern. With effort, he managed to wipe the worry from their faces and get them all laughing and kidding around again. Russ didn’t count. He never stopped frowning, so Jordan couldn’t quite make out whether that was concern or disapproval, and he didn’t want to know the answer anyway.

As promised, he waded into the fray of excited, horse-crazy little girls right alongside Phyllis. He charmed and flattered. He was funny and upbeat. His mask didn’t even slip when Russ’s ex, Todd, showed up as one of the troop’s chaperones for the day and eyed him like a Christmas present come early.

Despite being creeped out again that the guy was cruising when his daughters were barely ten feet away currycombing a sweet little donkey named Jasmine, Jordan had to admit to a certain amount of morbid curiosity as he studied the man out of the corner of his eye. At about five foot ten, with artfully layered short light-brown hair, Todd wasn’t a bad-looking guy, but he wasn’t underwear-ad material either. Judging by the general age of his kids, and that Russ didn’t seem the type to go on the down-low with a married man, their relationship had probably ended close to a decade ago. Maybe Todd had let himself go a little in the interim, and he’d been a real stunner ten years ago.

As he was now, Todd might’ve been fine for a hookup, but Phyllis had made it sound like he and Russ were in an actual relationship. Jordan just didn’t get it. What did Todd have that he didn’t?

Maybe the guy had a monster cock hiding in those jeans?

And why the hell couldn’t Jordan just let it go?

Russ was super hot, but he wasn’t the only dick on the planet. Jordan didn’t know how long he’d even be on the ranch, so who gave a shit if one stupid, hot asshole of a cowboy rejected him anyway?

God, he was so fucked-up right now.

BY TWO that afternoon, Jordan’s mask was wearing very thin. The girls in the troop were starting to get a little tired and whiny, and the stress of the last few days was catching up to him. After the troop finished lunch and while they were busy with some craft project they intended to sell to raise money for the ranch, Jordan made a quick run up to his room and dug out his bottle of bourbon in desperation. He wasn’t going to get drunk. In fact, he’d barely had any of it since coming to the ranch, but today, just this once, he needed something to soften the edges and loosen his limbs. The girls’ shrill little giggles and whines were like ice picks in his skull, and the last thing he wanted was to lose his temper with any of them, for Phyllis’s sake, if nothing else. He needed the world to be a little hazy around the edges.

After a couple of quick swigs from the bottle, he put it back in the closet, brushed his teeth, grabbed a water bottle, and headed right back out. Some of the girls were decorating old, worn horseshoes, while others made leather and bead bracelets. Jordan helped where he could, but crafting wasn’t exactly his strong suit. Eventually, Phyllis took pity on him and sent him off to the barn.

“We’ll be done here soon. Go check on Marina and then see if Russ needs you for anything. I’m sure you’d much rather be doing that anyway.”

Jordan’s smile of relief was the first real one he’d had all day. He gave a startled Phyllis a quick squeeze before heading for the barn at a jog. The bourbon had been just enough to loosen him up a little, and after being set free from babysitting duty, he practically danced his way down to see Marina. Despite the sadness of what happened with her foal, the mare seemed better even after less than a day, and Jordan had to admit it had been the best thing for her.

He lingered in the barn rather than going in search of Russ. He was still a bit on the warm and fuzzy side and wasn’t sure seeking out that particular man was the best idea. He’d already embarrassed himself more than enough for one lifetime where Russ was concerned.

The barn was empty of humans, despite all the activity on the ranch. Most of the horses had been let out in the pasture or were moved to a pen or paddock to get a little sunshine and fresh air or get worked on by a volunteer. Deciding he’d put in more than enough work for one day, he stepped into the empty stall where they stacked extra straw and slumped onto a couple of bales to shut his eyes for a few minutes. He’d help clean up when everyone was gone, but a quick nap wasn’t too much to ask, was it?

“There you are.”

Jordan had just dozed off when the unfamiliar voice woke him. Blinking awake, he found Russ’s creepy ex, Todd, propped against the opening to the stall.

Clearing his throat, Jordan sat up and brushed his hair out of his face. “I’m sorry. Did you need something?”

A lazy smile played across Todd’s face. “I could use a sip of that water, if you don’t mind.”

He sauntered into the stall and plucked Jordan’s water bottle from the bale where Jordan had propped it. Standing close enough that his denim-clad knee brushed Jordan’s, Todd wrapped his lips around the bottle, tilted his head back, and took a long pull. His Adam’s apple bobbed, and a little water escaped to trickle down his chin to his neck as Jordan watched with mild curiosity and a sliver of interest.

The devil and angel on each of Jordan’s shoulders had a little debate as Todd stopped drinking and offered the bottle to Jordan with hot eyes, and Jordan drank what was left.

On the one hand, Todd was obviously a jerk. Being married with two kids wasn’t stopping him from cruising the local animal rescue for some tail on the side. On the other hand, Jordan was lonely and in need of a little boost to his ego, so what harm would a little flirting do?

“Damn,” Todd husked. “You’re the hottest thing I’ve seen round here in a long time.”

Jordan couldn’t help himself. He preened under the compliment. He hadn’t been to a bar or hooked up with anyone from Grindr in weeks, even before his talk with his parents. And, weak as it might be, he needed someone to tell him he was desirable, even if it came from a bit of a sleaze.

He grinned and stretched, enjoying the feel of Todd’s eyes on him. “Glad you think so.”

“After spotting you the last time I was here, I definitely wanted a closer look.”

Jordan wet his lips and cocked his head. “I thought you were a little preoccupied with someone else the last time you were here.”

Todd had been angling his body closer but paused. “No. If you mean Russ, he just gets his panties in a bunch sometimes and thinks he has a right to interfere in other people’s business. Believe me, baby, you’re the only one I’m looking at.”

The devil was still winning the argument in his head, so Jordan stood up and propped himself against the stack of bales, spreading his boots wide enough that Todd could step in close.

“You think I’m worth looking at?”

Todd’s hazel eyes took a lazy journey down and back up Jordan’s body. “You know you are,” he said huskily.

It wasn’t until Todd stepped close enough to press his erection to Jordan’s thigh that reason began to return.

What the hell was he doing?

Yes, he was lonely. Yes, he was weak and needy and hurting and horny. But since when was he enough of any of those things to mess around with a guy he didn’t even like, less than a hundred yards away from the man’s little girls?

Just, ew.

Deciding the game had gone far enough, Jordan moved to extricate himself from the situation, but before he could manage to get a word out, Todd fisted Jordan’s package through his jeans… and then all hell broke loose.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Russ shouted from the door to the stall.

“Oh shit.”