Chapter Twenty-Three

 

 

ISAIAH “IZZY” Green was back to stay.

Russ couldn’t quite wrap his head around it. He walked the ranch in a daze all afternoon and barely slept that night. At four in the morning, he’d finally given up and snuck out of bed so at least Jordan could get a few hours of undisturbed sleep.

“Good morning,” Phyl said as she settled in her rocker next to him.

A slash of orange had just erupted along the horizon, so at least someone in the house was able to sleep to her usual time.

“Mornin’.”

“Coffeepot was almost empty. How long have you been up?”

He shrugged. “A couple hours.”

She took a sip of her coffee and eyed him for a bit. “You know, if that boy weren’t such a good person and a pillar of the community, I’d be tempted to put my boot in his ass until he never came back.”

“What?” He gaped at her.

“What?” she threw right back at him. “Isaiah. That’s what. Ain’t never seen anyone that can tie you in a bigger knot than that man. He’s not back in your life a day and you’re already not sleeping and brooding on the front porch… when everything was just fine, better than fine, not twenty-four hours ago.”

“He just caught me by surprise. That’s all. I need a minute to wrap my head around the fact that he’s back.”

“Uh-huh.”

Russ’s lips twisted sullenly. “We left it as friends, Phyl. You know that. We’ve traded emails over the years. We’re good.”

“But it’s different seein’ him in the flesh, knowing he’s going to be an hour or so away. Isn’t it? You may have parted as friends, but that wasn’t what you really wanted. You were being noble and letting someone you loved follow his dreams and his passion. He left you hurtin’, even if he didn’t mean to. You can’t lie to me about that, ’cause I was here to watch you put the pieces back together.”

With a sigh, Russ let his head thunk back against the rocker and closed his eyes. “It was almost three years ago. And as you said, I put the pieces back together. I’m okay.”

“No, you’re not. Not yet anyway. You’ve obviously still got some things to work through in your head. Otherwise you’d have been tucked up with that lovely boy upstairs instead of brooding on the front porch in the dark.”

“Before, you were warning me against Jordan. Now he’s a ‘lovely boy’?” he said, giving her a pointed look.

With a wave of her hand, she rolled her eyes. “That was weeks ago. Besides, I warned you to be careful, not to stay away from him. And if you remember correctly, it was because of Isaiah that I felt I needed to butt my nose in and give you that warning… and I never said Jordan wasn’t a sweet boy.”

Holding up his hands in surrender, he said, “Okay. Okay. You made your point. Maybe I have a few unresolved issues with Izzy, but I’ll work ’em out. I promise. I’m not gonna dump Jordan like a hot rock just because Izzy’s back in town. You know me better than that… or you should.”

“Of course you won’t. All I’m sayin’ is don’t just remember the good times with Isaiah and forget everything else you went through. That man could charm the hair off a frog’s ass. I won’t deny it. He and our Jordan got a little bit in common there, I think.”

“Our Jordan?”

She smacked him lightly on the arm. “Don’t change the subject.”

“And what is the subject again?”

She huffed. “Don’t let him and all that unfinished business rattle your cage so much you do something stupid and forget what you’ve already got in front of you. And that’s all I’m gonna say on it.”

With that, she stood and strode back into the house, leaving Russ with a headache starting behind his right eye. He rocked for a while, not really thinking about anything, until his phone buzzed in his pocket. Grateful for the distraction, he pulled it out and read the text.

Morning, Russ. I figured you’d be up with the dawn, as always. It’s Izzy. This is my new number. I forgot to give it to you yesterday. Things were a little crazy, huh?

Russ blinked at the screen for a few seconds, and before he could think of a proper response, it flashed with a new message.

BTW, I know I said it yesterday, but it was really good to see you. I missed you.

It was good to see you too, he typed back after blowing out a breath.

I gotta go. Shift starts in an hour. But we should get together soon. Just the two of us, and really catch up.

“Shit.”

“Everything okay?” Jordan asked as he pushed open the screen door and stepped onto the porch.

“Yeah. It’s fine,” Russ said, shoving his phone back into his pocket.

Jordan frowned as his eyes tracked the movement. “Okay. Phyl says breakfast is almost ready.”

“Okay, I’m comin’.”

 

 

EVEN AFTER breakfast, Russ was still so distracted he decided to take a ride to clear his head. Jordan and Phyl had eyed him strangely the entire time he’d been eating, and Ernie and Jon joined in as soon as they arrived for the day. The scrutiny made him itchy and irritable. The way they were watching him, you’d have thought someone died.

It was Friday, so the early weekenders would be arriving soon, and Russ was likely to bite some unsuspecting volunteer’s head off if he didn’t have some time to himself.

On the ridge above the ranch, where he’d first kissed Jordan, he dismounted and plunked his ass on the ground under the dubious shade of the live oak, while Archer, a big gray that was close to being ready to be adopted, grazed on the sparse vegetation.

Phyl was right. He was rattled. He didn’t want to admit it to anyone, especially not Jordan, but he and Izzy did have a lot of unfinished business. Russ had given his heart completely to that man. Three years ago, he’d even had dreams of a little house somewhere close to the ranch, or halfway between the ranch and the hospital, where he and Izzy would raise a couple of kids together. He hadn’t exactly been clear on the details of how that was going to work with him working full-time on the ranch and Izzy pulling crazy shifts at his job, but the dream had been there—however unrealistic.

Then Izzy had been offered the opportunity to travel the world, and Russ had learned that the selflessness and civic-mindedness he’d admired so much in Izzy was also what would be taking him away. Healing the sick in Texas was no longer enough to satisfy Izzy’s humanitarian passion. He needed more. How the hell could Russ have said no to that?

“And now he’s back.”

Archer twitched his ears in Russ’s direction and lifted his head a little, but when Russ didn’t say anything else, he went back to grazing. Despite the early hour, the Texas heat rose off the dusty turf in shimmering waves as he watched people moving about their business down below. He could just make out Jordan’s blond head by the barn.

Did he still have feelings for Izzy?

Of course he did. He didn’t just stop loving someone because they’d gone away for a few years. They’d agreed to stay friends, but Russ had assumed Izzy would find someplace more exciting to settle down—and someone more exciting to settle down with. Russ had thought he might see Izzy once a year or so when he came to visit his folks, never that he’d come home to stay.

Russ pulled his phone out of his pocket and read the messages again.

If they really were friends, like he’d promised they would be, one dinner would be harmless enough. He’d be wrong to refuse such a simple request from a friend. He doubted Phyl and Jordan would see it that way, though.

Jordan.

Resting his head back against the trunk, he stared up at the clear blue sky above. Jordan had been unusually quiet since yesterday, despite Russ’s efforts to hide how unsettled he was. He was pretty sure Jordan would not understand him wanting to have dinner with his ex to work some of this out in his head, which left him in a damned-if-he-did, damned-if-he-didn’t situation.

It wasn’t as if Jordan intended to stay on permanently anyway. Jordan had made that clear from the get-go. What they had was only temporary, and Russ had accepted that. He was a grown-up. He knew he couldn’t ask more of anyone than they were willing or able to give, especially someone who’d just had his whole life ripped out from under him.

“I sure can pick ’em, can’t I?” he said to Archer, who twitched his ears but didn’t bother lifting his head. “You’re not much help.”

With a sigh, he stood up and dusted off his jeans. The weekend was coming, and he couldn’t afford to spend all day sitting on his ass. He needed to check on their newest additions before Tish arrived that afternoon, and he needed to make sure the horses closest to being ready for adoption were cleaned up and looking pretty. He had a job to do. The question of Izzy could wait.

 

 

ANOTHER WEEK went by with Russ feeling as off-balance and out of sorts as he had the day Izzy surprised him on the ranch. Izzy kept texting him, here and there, subtly pushing for a get-together, but luckily he was too busy with his work, his parents, and finding a place to live to pay another visit, and he was easily put off when it came to deciding on an actual date for dinner.

Jordan was as edgy as a wet hen all week, but Russ had issues of his own to deal with, in addition to their four newest fosters that needed practically round-the-clock care. He and Jordan slept in the same bed each night, but the ease, tenderness, and teasing they’d had before was strained. Russ should have taken the time to ferret out whatever bug crawled up Jordan’s butt, but he didn’t. Jordan was avoiding him, and he didn’t have the emotional energy to chase him down right then. Phyl was right. No one could tie him in knots like Izzy, and he needed a breather to wrestle with those knots, so he pushed his guilt aside and let things go on as they were, despite knowing he’d probably pay for it later.

 

 

IN KEEPING with this trend, he rode out by himself every day for at least an hour to give himself someplace quiet to think, where no one needed anything from him or constantly jawed at him. He didn’t exactly make much progress on these trips, but the respite was nice.

That was where he was on Friday when a flash of light drew his attention to the long drive up to the house in time to see Jordan’s red sports car headed for the main road, kicking up a cloud of dust as it went. Feeling a sudden twist in his gut, Russ mounted his horse and nudged him into a canter back to the barn.

Phyl was talking to Michelle by the donkey pen, so he dismounted and walked Archer the rest of the way over to her. “Where’s Jordan going?” he asked when the ladies turned to greet him.

“He said he had some errands to run in the city,” Phyl answered, her expression inscrutable.

“He didn’t say anything about it to me,” Russ grumbled, some of the tightness in his chest easing. “He does know today’s Friday, right?”

“I didn’t ask him, but I imagine he knows what day of the week it is,” Phyl replied blithely.

Russ narrowed his eyes as irritation took the place of his earlier anxiety, and Phyl rolled hers. Placing one hand on her hip, she wagged a finger at him. “Don’t get your panties in a bunch. We have plenty of people to help get ready for the weekend. If the boy wants a day off, he can have a day off. I think he’s earned it and then some. It’s not like we’re paying him, in case you forgot.”

“Still, he could’ve asked. I got Tish coming in a couple of hours. I have Red and Archer here that need a bath, in addition to everything else that needs doing,” he defended crossly.

“Well, we managed all right before he got here. We’ll manage today too, I expect. Might do you some good, actually. Remind you of what you might have taken for granted.”

A quick side glance at Michelle reminded him they weren’t alone, so he bit back asking her what the hell that was supposed to mean, spun on his heel, and led Archer back to a pen where he could get someone to give him a good grooming and possibly a wash if they had time.

After making sure Archer had water and giving him a little treat for being such a good boy under the saddle, he stomped off to the barn to check his to-do list for the day and make adjustments for Jordan’s absence. He was still glaring at the seemingly endless list of chores when he heard a shout from the yard. Poking his head out the door, he saw Jon and Ernie running for the house. Russ started running too before he even got a good look at what they were racing toward, or who.

“Phyl!” Russ shouted as soon as he saw her on the ground.

She had a gash on her forehead that was bleeding heavily and dripping down over one eye. Her face was scrunched up with pain as she held her right wrist gingerly to her chest.

“What happened?” Russ demanded of the others as he dropped down next to her.

“I don’t know,” Ernie answered anxiously. “She was just climbing the stairs to go inside and she fell, I think.”

“Shit. Jon, go inside and get a towel,” Russ ordered harshly.

There was a lot of blood.

“Say something, Phyl. Is anything else hurt?”

“Nope,” she gritted out through her teeth. “Don’t think so.”

Her voice was threadier than Russ liked, and her deeply tanned skin looked a little gray.

“You’re gonna be okay, Phyl. We’re gonna take care of you.”

“Everybody stop fussing. I just got a little bump on the head and hurt my wrist. I’m not dyin’,” she grumbled.

When she moved to get up, Russ put a hand on her shoulder and smiled in relief. “Don’t you dare. Just sit still for a second, stubborn woman.”

Jon returned and handed over two towels. Russ used the first to mop up some of the blood so he could get a look at the wound on her head. It wasn’t big, despite all the blood—a small, rapidly swelling gash through her eyebrow—but it meant she’d hit her head pretty hard on something, and Russ’s stomach twisted.

“Can you move your wrist?” he asked.

Phyl winced and shook her head.

“Okay,” he said, placing the second towel Jon had dampened with cold water to her forehead. “Jon, will you go back and grab us a bag of ice and meet us at the truck. It’ll be faster if I just drive her to Lake Granbury myself instead of waiting on an ambulance.”

Ernie stepped forward, and the two of them gently helped Phyl to her feet. She didn’t seem all that steady, so Russ picked her up and carried her to the truck.

“If I’d known I could get carried around by a handsome man like a princess, I’d have fallen down the stairs years ago,” Phyl teased weakly.

“Stop jawin’ and save your strength for the ride,” he said as he strapped her in.

Jon returned with a bag of ice wrapped in another towel, and Russ gently placed it over Phyl’s wrist in her lap. Turning to the others, he said, “You guys got everything covered here? Tish is supposed to be here soon.”

“Go,” Ernie ordered, shooing him toward the driver’s side. “We know what we’re doing, and so does the doc. We’ll check the board. Don’t worry.”

Russ’s hands shook, and he gripped the steering wheel harder as he pulled out onto the main road. He’d tried to drive as carefully as possible, but the bumping and jostling had left Phyl looking grayer than ever, though she didn’t make a peep.

“Let me know if you need to puke, and I’ll pull over,” he said.

She threw him a scathing look. “Don’t get cheeky. I can still whoop your ass left-handed.”

Russ’s answering grin died when she hissed in pain at another bump in the road.

At the ER, they took her back right away, probably because of her age and the blow to her head, and Russ was left to worry in the waiting room. The smells, the sounds, the people bustling here and there were all too familiar. Memories of the hours he’d spent holding Phyl’s hand in waiting rooms when Sean had gotten sick—hours sitting next to the once strong man’s bedside, watching him waste away—came flooding back, and Russ felt ill. For the life of him, no amount of talking to himself would let his heartbeat slow or the sick knot in his belly loosen.

He tried Jordan’s cell phone three times before he gave up. He texted Jon and Ernie to let them know he and Phyl had made it, and he’d call them later when he knew something. Then he was left to twiddle his thumbs and pace until a woman in a dark ponytail and white lab coat approached him.

“Are you Russ?”

“Yeah. That’s me,” he replied, hurrying over to her.

“I’m Dr. Woolsey. Phyllis asked me to come out. So far, we know she has a broken wrist, and we think only a mild concussion. She’s resting a little more comfortably, now that we gave her something for the pain, but we’re going to take her back for an MRI in just a little bit. She’s awake and engaged, which is a good sign, but because she felt dizzy and faint right before her fall, I’m a bit concerned, so we’re running some other tests as well.”

“She what?”

Dr. Woolsey’s thin sculpted eyebrows lifted. “She didn’t tell you that,” she guessed with a small smile.

Russ growled. “No, she did not.”

“Has she complained of any tiredness, weakness, or dizziness at all recently?”

“She’s been tired a bit, but running a ranch will do that to you.”

The doctor nodded. “I have a call in to her regular GP. Once I talk to him and get some of her tests back, I’m sure we’ll know more. We’re just waiting on the machine to free up right now, and after her scan is done, I’ll send someone to take you back to her, okay?”

After blowing out a breath, Russ thanked her, and she gave him a sympathetic smile. “She’s in good hands. It may just be that she got a little dehydrated or overheated and tried to do too much, but with a head injury at her age, we just want to make sure.”

If the doctor’s intent was to reassure him, she’d failed miserably. What else had Phyl neglected to tell him concerning her health? He’d been so caught up in his own bullshit, he hadn’t been paying attention. He’d promised Sean to take care of her, and he’d been doing a piss-poor job of it lately.

Agitated, frustrated, and worried, Russ pulled his cell out again and texted Jordan.

Where are you?

When he still received no reply, he growled and scrolled through to the last text Izzy had sent and tapped to call him.

“Hey, Russ!”

“You busy?”

“Not really. I just got off shift. What’s up?”

Russ started to relate what had happened, but Izzy cut him off only a few words in. “What hospital?”

“Lake Granbury.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

Russ slumped into one of the waiting room chairs and sighed. “Thanks, Izzy.”

“Be there soon, babe,” Izzy replied before hanging up.

Just knowing someone was coming and he didn’t have to do this alone eased some of the ache in his chest. Sean’s passing had been too soon for the echoes to fade, and all that remembered fear and dread was making him queasy.

He called Ernie to let everyone back at the ranch know what the doctor had said. Apparently Phyl hadn’t confided any health concerns to anyone there either, which made him feel a little less guilty. By the time Izzy walked into the waiting room, a nurse was ready to take him back to see Phyl, and Izzy took his hand and they followed the nurse back. Russ gave him a smile and squeezed his hand in gratitude.

Phyl looked pale and ten years older lying in the hospital bed. They’d given her an IV. Her wrist had been put in a temporary brace, and they’d bandaged her forehead.

“Look that bad, do I?” she slurred with a goofy smile.

“Guess they gave you the good drugs, huh?” Russ teased, trying to school his expression into something a little less pained.

“It’s sweet of you to stop by, Izzy. Thank you, hon,” she said, turning her head and smiling at him.

“Anything for you, Phyl. How are they treating you?” Izzy asked, taking her good hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“I’ve been poked and prodded every which way, but I guess I can’t complain.”

“Has your doctor been back in yet?”

“No, not yet.”

“Okay, good. I’d like to hear what she has to say.”

When Dr. Woolsey returned, Izzy introduced himself, and she smiled.

“It’s a pleasure. Well, I won’t keep you in suspense. We can go over the specifics in a bit, if you like, but what we think is going on here is that you’re on too high a dosage with your blood pressure medication, Phyllis. I’ve spoken to your doctor, and he’ll get a copy of the bloodwork we’ve done. The MRI showed you do indeed have a mild concussion, but with a few days’ rest, you should be fine. We’ll give you a prescription for painkillers, and obviously, you’re going to have to take it easy. Dr. Trent, our orthopedist, will be here in a little while to do your cast, and you’ll be able to go home after that. So, until then, try to get some rest.”

The flood of relief made Russ’s knees weak as he smiled at Phyl and took her good hand. Dr. Woolsey and Izzy stepped to the side to talk in medical-ese, but Russ ignored them. He knew what he needed to, and he trusted Izzy to tell him anything important later. It wasn’t long before Phyl closed her eyes and dropped off to sleep—as if she had just been waiting for permission to do it—and Russ, Izzy, and Dr. Woolsey crept out of the room.

After saying goodbye to the doctor, Izzy grabbed Russ’s wrist and led him down a series of hallways until he pulled him into an empty room.

“You okay?” he asked as soon as the door closed behind them. His gorgeous amber eyes were filled with concern, and Russ blew out a breath and slumped against the wall.

“Yeah. Just flashbacks getting the better of me, I guess. I really don’t like hospitals. No offense.”

Izzy’s full lips curved, and he nodded. “None taken. You’re thinking about Sean, right? I know that had to have been hard. I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you.”

“It’s okay. You called when you found out. It helped. Thanks for coming today.”

“Of course. Anytime. You know that.”

Izzy dragged his fingers through Russ’s hair before resting his palm on the side of Russ’s neck and squeezing. “I really missed you, Russ.”

He held Russ’s gaze as he leaned in close, and Russ was just needy and confused enough not to stop him. Izzy’s lips were as warm, lush, and soft as Russ remembered. The familiarity was comforting. He’d kissed those lips thousands of times before, felt the strength in that body wrapped around him. Still shaky from an emotional day, he longed to lose himself in that comforting familiarity, but guilt needled him, and he put a hand to Izzy’s chest and pushed.

“I can’t,” he sighed.

“The blond? Jerry? Jory?”

“Jordan,” Russ corrected.

“Is it serious?” Izzy asked, absently caressing Russ’s jaw and throat.

Russ’s entire body was starting to tingle, so he wrapped his hand around Izzy’s to stop him and cleared his throat. “Yes… and no. It’s complicated.”

Izzy smiled and took a step back. “It doesn’t have to be complicated, you know.”

With a grimace, Izzy straightened and adjusted himself. After studying Russ for a second, he cleared his throat and smiled sheepishly. “I know I can’t just come blazing back into town and expect you to upend your life for me. You know I’m not that guy. But if things aren’t serious with this kid—”

“He’s only a couple of years younger than you are,” Russ pointed out with a wry smile.

Izzy shrugged. “Still, if they aren’t serious, or they’re complicated, all I’m saying is I’d like to toss my hat in the ring. But if you tell me it’s serious, I’ll back off.”

Russ would have been lying if he said he wasn’t tempted. When things had been good with Izzy, they’d been really good. But he wasn’t as tempted as he might have been only a few weeks before, even knowing what he had with Jordan wouldn’t last, and that surprised him. Knowing something and feeling it were two different things, he supposed, even if he was pissed at the bastard for not responding to his calls. This was too much for him to deal with at the moment, though. Especially on top of worrying about Phyl.

With another sigh, he pushed himself off the wall and headed for the door. “Come on. We need to go someplace a little more public before I get myself in real trouble here. I want to be there when Phyl wakes up, and I’ve already got something I’m going to need to confess and grovel over.”

Izzy’s chuckle followed him out the door.