Chapter Nine

I did come home with a sexy little black thing of a dress. Not sure where I was going to wear it to or why I let Gelaire talk me into getting it. Maybe because it was the first time in a long time I felt like a woman when I tried it on. And it was the first time since yesterday morning I looked at myself in the mirror for longer than two seconds. In fact, I stared at myself for a good five, pulling my hair up, sweeping it to the side to see what worked best with the dress. I stood on my tip toes, checking out every angle of the spaghetti-strap dress. Gelaire also insisted on buying me the most expensive Italian leather high heels that felt like butter. Gorgeous and comfortable was a win. I still wasn’t sure when I would ever use them, except she did mention me escorting her to some concert in the fall. Normally that was Neil’s job, but she wasn’t fond of her son at the moment.

She was especially upset with his neglect of Cody. She begged me to bring him by before school started. Cody loved his grandmother, but he found her house boring. He didn’t appreciate art or the classical music his grandmother adored. He very much took after my side. The world could thank me for another loud-mouthed Decker man, even if technically he was a Higgins. Cody had asked if he could change his last name too. Part of me wanted to say yes, but I knew how much that would hurt Gelaire. And someday I hoped he and his father would work things out like they should. And maybe someday I would be a better person and help them figure all that out. Today wasn’t that day.

But today was a bizarre day. Avery called while I was making spinach manicotti for dinner.  Cody was in the shower, where I prayed he was washing off the stink he brought home from practice. It wasn’t bizarre that she called, but her yelling into the phone was unlike her, and her news was the most unexpected news I had ever received. I take that back. It was second on the list, but far more pleasant than the first.

“Sam, Sam, Sam, you are never going to believe this!”

“You sound too happy for there to be anything wrong, or is this so bad you’re losing it?” Honestly, she never sounded like this before.

“I am kind of losing it, but it’s good. So, so good.”

“Did James finally figure out that dirty clothes go in the hamper?”

“Ugh, no. But you, my dearest, are famous!”

“What are you talking about?” I opened the refrigerator to grab some parmesan cheese.

“Your blog post.”

“What about it?”

“AUTUMN MOONE POSTED IT ON HER WEBSITE!”

I stood frozen in front of the open refrigerator door staring blankly inside of it. “Autumn Moone? As in the author we secretly love, but hide her books and don’t tell anyone we devour them, Autumn Moone?”

“The very one!”

“How? What?” I couldn’t think.

“Go to her website. It’s posted on her home page.”

“Let me put you on speaker.” I set my phone on the counter and clicked the speaker button before I clicked on my browser app. The refrigerator door was still wide open. “It’s autumnmoone.com, right?” My hands were shaking.

“Yes, but you should get her new app. It sends you notifications when she’s posted something new. By the way, a sneak peek of Hunter’s new book is out.”

Avery and I were shamelessly in love with Hunter Black, the protagonist in Autumn Moone’s only series. It’s why we bought hardcovers of the books and hid them. Hunter Black covers weren’t the same on an eBook. He was best held and admired and then kept hidden under my bed. That sounded creepy. But honestly, he was the only romance I’d had in months. There was something about his chiseled face and how in love he was with his best friend, Laine. She, of course, didn’t know, and he kept having to watch her be with the wrong guy while he tried to be with other women who weren’t meant for him. The angst and the drama were captivating. And Autumn Moone had this way of raising your pulse without being graphic or crude. That new book of hers, A Black Night, needed to come out stat. I would probably read the sneak peek a hundred times tonight. But first, Autumn Moone’s post about me. How weird was that?

“Are you there yet?” Avery was growing impatient.

“Getting there. How good was the sneak peek?”

“Oh my gosh, it’s running an ice cube over my chest good.”

“Avery.”

“What? James thinks it’s because we made out in the kitchen before the boys caught us.”

I laughed at her, jealous, but happy my brother was the kind of man that let his wife know he still loved her, in all ways. I would give props to my parents—they raised good men.

Autumn Moone’s site finally loaded on my smartphone. I didn’t have to scroll far to see her post, dated for today.

“I’m there.”

A friend shared this blog post with me today. Never have I read anything that has touched me so deeply. I ache for this woman, but applaud her spirit. If only I could write the kind of emotion in my books that this woman conveyed, I think I could count myself a true writer. Here’s to you, Sidelined Wife. Get back in the game of life and give ‘em hell.

I wiped the tears out of my eyes and read her message one more time. “I can’t believe it. I wonder who gave it to her?” I thought no one knew who she was. Could someone I know be her friend? Autumn Moone was a mysterious character. She used a pen name and had never been seen. She started off as an independent author, but her first book, A Black Heart, was so popular one of the powerhouse publishers picked it up. Her profile pictures on all her social media sites were of the moon in various phases.

“Who cares who she is, as long as she keeps Hunter Black books coming. But look at all the comments down below, and she added a link to your blog.”

Scrolling down, I was barraged with over a hundred comments. Most all of them positive. Several women posted they’d had similar things happen to them and this was an inspiration to them. There were a few trolls who said I should get over my privileged self and quit whining. I ignored those and focused on all the other beautiful messages of hope and comradery.

“I can’t believe this.”

“Believe it, sister, your fifteen minutes of fame have arrived.”

“It’s probably more like one or two.”

“Are you kidding me? Autumn Moone is the hottest author since J.K. Rowling. Her acknowledging your existence is huge. You should probably go check your blog. I bet you have a ton of new followers.”

“No way.”

“Check.”

“You’re bossy today.”

She laughed. “That’s what older sisters do.”

I loved that we never used sister-in-law. “I’m checking.” I logged into my blog’s site. Avery was right. “I went from two hundred followers to seventeen hundred. That’s crazy.” I blinked several times, amazed.

“Did any of them comment on your site?”

I looked at the comments section. I had to approve any comments before they would appear on any given post. “Yes. Several. It’s going to take me forever to go through these.”

“Sounds like you have a good night ahead of you. See you tomorrow. That is, if you aren’t too famous by then.”

“Ha. Ha. Goodbye.”

I hung up, shook my head a few times, and finally closed the refrigerator. I forgot to get the parmesan cheese out. I forgot about dinner. Cody was quick to remind me of that when he came downstairs, clean and smelling like Irish Spring.

Cody stood at the breakfast bar expecting food. “Are you okay, Mom?”

I stood mesmerized by my phone. “Yeah.”

I couldn’t tell him about the post. I didn’t want him reading it. I had mentioned having sex in there, or the lack thereof. Nothing a teenage boy wanted to know about his parents. Obviously, he knew his dad had been having some. Cody would be a brother soon. We didn’t know if the baby was a boy or girl. Neil and Roxie wanted to be surprised. I think it had more to do with the fact that it made it less real for Neil. He didn’t want to be a father again. From the tiny bit I caught the night I found out about the pregnancy, I knew he was unhappy about it. In a jerk move, he asked if it was his, and he told her she ruined his life. A baby was a secret he couldn’t keep very well. He begged me that night to forgive him. It was the first time he sounded truly sorry for the affair. I could see the fear in his eyes.

That night had been a turning point for me. I had been afraid too. Afraid what people would think about me if I got divorced. I was afraid that Cody would hate me. I was afraid of my future, emotionally and financially. I was afraid to live without Neil. But in that moment, I had clarity. My fear had been preventing me from really living. I would be no one’s doormat.

I looked up from my phone into my son’s eyes. “Do you want to go out to dinner? I want to celebrate.”

He cocked his head, just like his father. “What are we celebrating?”

“Life.”