Laura
I was abruptly woken by someone shaking me.
“Laura, wake up. It’s me,” Hans whispered.
“What are you doing here?” I asked in a drowsy voice and blinked my eyes open.
Hans had turned on a night lamp and was sitting on the bed. “Your invitation has me unable to sleep.”
“What invitation?”
“You know, your suggestion that we should have sex?”
I rubbed my eyes, unsure if this was some kind of nightmare. “I don’t follow.”
Hans smiled and slid a finger down my arm. It made me jerk back. I wasn’t used to men touching me. My father would have cut his fingers off, and Magni would have beaten him for touching me without permission.
“I’m sorry,” he said and tucked his hand in his lap. “Do you prefer to be the aggressive one?”
I shook my head to get my mind to work. “What? You have to be delusional if you think I invited you to have sex with me.”
He tilted his head. “Ah, I see. Is this where I pursue you and you pretend not to want me?”
“Huh?”
Hans narrowed his eyes, thinking, and then he pushed me back with decisiveness using both hands on my shoulders.
“What are you doing?” I protested while pushing back. But Hans kept fumbling around on top of me, trying to kiss me.
I punched him square in his face, making him cry out in pain. “Get off of me.” I bucked and kicked him to the floor, where Hans curled up with his hands covering his nose, making whimpering sounds.
With every hotel fully booked because of the earthquake we’d been staying with people that had volunteered through a public system to take strangers in for a night. Hans slept on a couch while I’d been in a guest room.
“Shhh,” I shushed him. “Be quiet, you’re waking up the whole house.
Hans scrambled to sit up, his fingers dabbing at his nostrils to check for blood.
“Don’t look so offended,” I told him. “You were way out of line, and you only got what you deserved.”
“But all the signals were there,” he defended himself.
“What signals?”
“You’ve made several sexual references today and you told me I should try sex.”
I rolled my eyes. “I didn’t say you should try sex with me.”
“Oh…” Hans got up and dusted himself off with a pout. “I see that I’ve misread the situation, but there was no need to assault me like that. I could report you for your aggressive behavior, you know?”
I got out of bed to stare him down.
Hans cleared his throat and moved to the door. “Don’t worry, I’m a big enough person to forgive you.”
Looking down my nose at him, I spoke in a sharp tone. “Goodnight, Hans.”
“Goodnight.”
When he finally closed the door behind him, my shoulders relaxed and I went back to bed. With restless energy, I tossed and turned for what felt like hours, wondering how in the world Hans could have gotten the impression that I wanted to have sex with him. At least I was certain he would never make that mistake again.
I’d only dozed off a little when Magni called me around three a.m. It alarmed me that he would call me at this time of the night and sitting up straight, I answered, “Magni, what’s wrong?”
“Laura, it’s me.” Magni’s voice was slurred and the hologram above my wrist was too dark for me to see his face.
“Are you drunk?”
“Pretty drunk.”
“Magni, what’s going on?” I turned on the light, not liking the sadness in his voice.
“I’m calling you to say goodbye.”
“You’re calling me to say goodbye?” I repeated, since his speech was so slurred he was hard to understand.
“That’s right.”
“Where are you going?”
“Maybe Alaska… or the moon. Not sure yet.”
I rubbed my eyes again and sat up in my bed. “Magni, what’s going on?”
“I’m a joke.”
“What? Did you say you’re Joe?”
“A joke.” This time he pronounced the word slowly. “Don’t come back, Laura, you’re better off without me.”
I sighed. “How much did you have to drink?”
“A little woman is going to outrank me. Can you imagine me taking orders from a Momsie?” He gave a hard laugh. “I’d rather die than have Pearl boss me around.”
“Is Finn with you?”
“Nope, he’s on your side of the wall. I’m all alone over here.”
“You’re not alone.”
“Very alone. You left. Finn left. Khan hates me.”
“Why would Khan hate you?”
“Because he’s bedaz… bedazzled.”
“What are you talking about? How about you get some sleep?” I suggested.
“Don’t have time.”
“Why not?”
“There’s an asshole staring at me. We’re going to fight.”
“Magni, no!” I got up and paced the floor, my heart beating so fast that it hurt in my chest. “Why would you fight anyone when you’re this drunk?”
“He talked shit about you. I don’t toler… tolerate that.”
“I know, but I need you to ignore it tonight.”
“Can’t do that, babe. I already said I’d kick his head up his ass. You should see how ugly the fucker is. Something’s seriously wrong with his head. He’s got four eyes.”
“Hey, enough with the chit-chat,” someone yelled in the background.
“Shhh, I’m talking to my wife.”
My mind was spinning with a way to get Magni out of the hole he had dug for himself. “If you promise me not to fight him, I’ll come home.”
“Don’t come,” he mumbled. “You don’t want me anyway.”
“Magni, where are you?”
He didn’t answer but shouted at someone. “Hey, shithead, don’t touch my beer.”
“Magni, meet me back at the suite. I’ll leave right now,” I said in a frantic voice.
“No, I mean it, Laura. Khan has lost his mind and Pearl is run… running the country. It’s all shit here!”
“That’s the alcohol talking. Put the bottle down and go home.”
A gruff male voice sounded in the background. “Hey, asshole, time to dance.”
“Magni… Magni, don’t.” I gave a yelp of frustration when the connection between us was cut. Eight times I called him, but I got no answer.
Not knowing what else to do, I called Finn.
“Magni called me. He’s drunk and getting himself killed in a fight right now. You need to help him,” I pleaded.
Finn’s voice was rusty from sleep. “Don’t worry. Magni’s been in drunken fights before. He’ll be fine.”
“You didn’t hear how drunk he was. I could hardly understand what he was saying.”
Finn yawned. “Trust me, killing Magni will take an army.”
“Or one knife placed in the right spot. Finn, he’s not immortal.”
“All right, you’ve got a point.” He yawned again. “I’ll get someone to pick him up.”
“But all I know is that he’s in a bar somewhere.”
“I have a pretty good idea where he might be. Don’t worry about it, Laura. Magni is strong, and tomorrow he’ll have a headache and regret the whole thing.”
I made a pained sound. “He never used to do anything like this.”
Finn sighed. “What can I say? Things changed when you ran away.”
Guilt gnawed at me again. “I never meant to hurt him. I wasn’t trying to get away from Magni. I just wanted to see the Motherlands for myself. If I’d known how bad things were at home…” Tears were pressing and my voice grew thick. “It’s all my fault.”
“Laura, please don’t cry.”
I couldn’t help it. Self-blame and fear for Magni had my tears running freely.
“Oh, crap, Athena, I think Laura is crying.”
“She’s crying?” I could hear Athena’s soft voice.
“Look, you handle Laura while I call the guys and get them to pick up Magni before he kills someone.”
“Sweetie.” Athena’s pleasant voice sounded clearer now. “Talk to me.”
“I messed up and now Magni might die because of me.”
“Finn is doing what he can. He says Magni will be fine. You’ll see him again.”
“I don’t know. Magni doesn’t want me to come back. He called to tell me goodbye.”
“Oh, honey, you don’t believe that’s what he wants, do you?”
“I told him I’d come back home, but he said I shouldn’t. I wish I knew what he was really thinking, but he’s so closed off to me.”
“Laura, you’re young and it will take time for the two of you to grow together. That’s normal.”
“It’s not normal for him to get so drunk he can barely talk. Why would he do that?”
“What does your gut tell you?” Athena asked. “Why do you think he’s getting drunk?”
Tears were still falling. “Because he’s angry with me.”
“You see anger. I see hurt.”
I dried my nose and whispered. “I guess.”
“And why is he hurting?” she asked.
“He said it’s because Pearl will outrank him.”
“That might be one of the reasons, but according to Finn, Magni’s drinking binges started when you left. Why do you think that is?”
“Because people mocked him.”
“No. That’s why he fights. It’s not why he drinks.”
“Then you tell me, Athena, because I can’t read his mind.”
Athena made a sound of sympathy. “You don’t have to read his mind, dear. You have to read his heart. What did he lose when you left?”
“Me.”
“Yes, but what did you represent to him?”
I was losing my patience with Athena. “You keep asking me questions, but I don’t know the answers – all I know is that I’m his wife.”
“Yes, but I’m looking for the word ‘purpose.’ Being your husband and protector gave him purpose.”
“Purpose.” I sighed. “Yeah, I suppose so.”
“He’s drinking to forget his pain. To not feel so lost for a night.”
I dried my nose again. “How do you know him so well, Athena?”
“Darling, I don’t know Magni. But I know people.”
“But Magni isn’t like other men.”
“Why not?”
“He’s stronger.”
“Only physically. Mentally he’s fragile. Tonight shows that very clearly.”
The thought of Magni being fragile had me frowning. “I always thought of him as special.”
“He is special,” she said. “I’ve never met anyone like him. Magni reminds me of the wind.”
Talking to Motlanders sometimes made me feel like we spoke two different languages. They spoke in metaphors and used references no Northlander ever would.
“Magni is a strong force of nature. And you know, sweetie, there’s nothing wrong with being powerful if the power is channeled into something constructive. A strong wind, for instance, can be harvested and light up entire cities with its energy. But sometimes the wind takes a destructive path, turning into tornados that can tear the city apart.”
“You’re calling Magni a tornado?”
“What he does with his power only time will tell. I would like to see him use it for good, but right now I see Magni as unbalanced and ungrounded. That’s what makes him fragile.”
I was listening to Athena with deep frown lines on my forehead.
She continued, “He can’t use his physical strength to fight the enemy within him.”
“You’re talking about him being a hot-head, but I have no idea why he’s like that.” I brushed tears away.
“Neither do I. My guess is that Magni has never learned how to express his emotions. Maybe he was ridiculed for crying as a child. Maybe he was always second because of his brother the future ruler. Maybe he is boiling over on the inside. Maybe throwing a fit is learned behavior, since his father did the same and got respect for it. Maybe he experienced people being afraid of him and felt a surge of power. Who knows, Laura?”
“Athena, please just tell me what I need to do.”
“That’s not my place.”
“But I’m not sure if I should stay here or go home.” I sat down on the bed.
“Then meditate until you get your answer,” she suggested and sounded like my sensei. It annoyed me that Motlanders thought everything could be fixed with meditation.
“I can’t sit still. I need to do something to help him,” I said and got up to pace the floor again.
“In that case you have your answer.”
“But what if I get home and he rejects me?”
“Laura.” Athena’s voice dropped. “You’re the warrior who didn’t think twice about going after a group of violent men to protect the innocent. If you can do that, you can face anything.”
It’s not the same thing, I thought, but was grateful that Athena was taking time in the middle of the night to talk to me.
“Thank you, and tell Finn to call me as soon as he knows anything.”
“I will, dear,” Athena promised before we ended the call.
Tiptoeing through the house, I woke Hans up in a hushed voice. “Listen, something happened at home, and I’ll have to return.”
“What, now?” Hans pushed up on his elbows and I gestured for him not to get up.
“You can go back to sleep. I’ll take the drone and send it back to you. If you get a lead on Devlin, call me.”
He frowned. “Just tell me the truth. Are you leaving because of what happened between us?”
I wanted to roll my eyes. But maybe I was being too hard on Hans. It wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t read my signals and that he had made a mistake. “No, I’m not leaving because of you.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure; there’s a situation at home that needs my attention, but I’ll be back, I promise.”