Magni
If not for my fucking pride, I would’ve gone back by now. It had been more than a month, and I missed Laura and Mila like crazy.
They were the first thing on my mind when I woke up and the last thing when I went to sleep. It was a constant state of worrying and longing for them. On my good days I thought about going back and convinced myself they would be happy to see me.
On my bad days, I was sure they were better off without me.
The solitude of Alaska left me alone with nothing but the torture chamber of self-reflection.
Like most of the men I’d ever interrogated during my career, my vanity and pride had refused to cooperate and admit to any blame. Instead, I’d stayed busy, focusing on improving my already great shape with an obsessive determination. I had walked on my hands, done push-ups, climbed trees, and been out hiking every day.
After four weeks of stubborn denial and resistance I’d begun to crack with the humbling realization that I was a giant shithead.
I’d promised Mila that I’d be there for her, and instead I was hiding like a coward.
I cringed to my toes when I thought about my reaction to learning about Laura having citizenship in the Motherlands. Why hadn’t I spoken to her about it? How would I live with myself if anything happened to Laura or Mila and I wasn’t there to protect them?
For years, people around me had made excuses for me, allowing me to throw tantrums like I was a fucking three-year-old. I was embarrassed to think about all the times I had thrown things around, and verbally abused people.
Two days ago, while dragging myself through deep snow, an epiphany had suddenly struck. I doubted that any of the Motlander women could have been more insightful than I was at that moment. For days I’d been asking myself why the fuck I had to be such a hothead, and then a childhood memory offered me an answer.
“He’s only five and he doesn’t like potatoes. Can’t he eat the other things on his plate?” Dina’s eyes were downturned and her hands were trembling a bit. Standing up to our father wasn’t easy.
“Stay out of this. Magni is a big boy and he doesn’t need his sister to protect him.” Our father resumed eating and when he looked up again, I still hadn’t touched the mountain of potatoes in front of me. Khan and my mother were quiet and kept their gazes down. When our father was in a certain mood, it was best not to speak or we would set him off in one of his explosive fits of rage.
“Eat the fucking food,” he repeated.
I picked up a potato and took a bite, but the damn thing grew in my mouth and I couldn’t swallow.
Dina offered me her napkin when my cheeks grew to double size and I was close to throwing up.
With a loud thud, my dad’s elbow hit the table as he leaned forward with his eyes narrowed and his knife stabbing through the air. “Did you just spit out your food, boy?”
“I hate potatoes.”
“That’s too bad, because you’re going to eat every one of them, including the part you spit out.”
“Marcus,” my mom said in a pleading voice.
“Don’t!” He gave her a hard stare. “If you think eating potatoes is the worst that will happen to him, you’re wrong. Magni will grow up to be a warrior and he’ll endure torture and pain like a real man.”
“But he’s so little,” Dina defended me.
“Eat the fucking potatoes!” My dad’s hand flew to my neck and forced my head down to my plate.
It made me see red. I knocked the plate from the dinner table and kicked the chair back to get up.
“I’m not eating them,” I shouted and swung my hand across the table, sending my plate, glass, fork, and knife into the wall.
“Magni,” my mom screamed and reached for me.
That only made me scream louder, trampling on the potatoes that were now on the floor, and picking one up to throw again.
It was my father’s deep laughter that got my attention, and my hand with the potato stalled mid-air.
“That’s my boy. Did you ever see such fire and strength in a five-year-old?”
My mom gave a strained smile.
“You’re not going to allow any man to mess with you, are you, Magni?” My father was still laughing and used his finger as a hook to reel me in. “Soon, grown men are gonna fear you, my son.” His large hand tousled my hair and everyone relaxed again. “You chose his name well, Erika.”
My mother smiled. “Yes, he lives up to it.”
“Tell me the story about my name again.” It was one of my favorites.
“Magni was the son of Thor and the strongest among the Norse Gods,” Khan said in a flat tone and rolled his eyes. “We’ve told you a million times.”
I lifted my chin, declaring, “I’m going to be the strongest too.”
Even my sister was smiling now. “I know you will, Magni.”
I plumped myself down on the small bed in the cabin, pushing the childhood memory away. No wonder I’d become so temperamental, when it had been a source of amusement for my father. Problem was that even though I understood it, I had no clue how to change it.
Closing my eyes, I directed my thoughts to one of my favorite memories instead, bringing back images from my first night with Laura.
“I choose Magni Aurelius.” April’s words made my body tense up. I hadn’t waited this long to marry the wrong sister.
Laura’s head turned to her twin and her eyes narrowed a little. She wasn’t happy about April’s choice.
Khan stood between the two brides and us ten champions. He knew I wanted Laura. We had talked about it many times.
My lips were pressed together and I was breathing through my nose. Why the fuck had he asked April before Laura? No one in the audience would have noticed if he’d made a small error and asked the younger twin before the older. What was an age difference of seven minutes anyway?
Laura was watching the nine champions left to choose from. I wanted her to look at me, but her eyes stopped and rested on the man to my right.
No no no… I wanted to shout for her to pick me, but speaking could get me disqualified.
“I choose…” she began before she trailed off and lowered her eyes.
I’d never used the word please in my life, but at that moment, I chanted it over and over, willing her to pick me.
As if hearing my thoughts, Laura lifted her face and locked eyes with me. Please, please, please pick me, I repeated on the inside, not speaking a word.
“I choose Magni Aurelius too.”
At the wedding reception everyone was talking about the cat fight that Khan had to break up between the two sisters. Men gave me nods of respect and envious smiles when they saw my arm around Laura. Both twins were beautiful, but to me Laura was the most incredible woman in the world. Her innocence intrigued me but it was the strength that shone from those pretty blue eyes of hers that had me fucking obsessed with her.
We didn’t stay long at the reception. I wanted her for myself and led her to my suite in the Gray Mansion.
“Your new home,” I said and let her take in the large room with the fine furniture. “Make yourself comfortable, what is mine is yours.”
Laura looked like a lost swan as she stood in her white dress taking in everything around her.
“Here.” I handed her the glass of wine that I’d just poured and took one for myself. “Cheers to our new lives as husband and wife.”
Her hands trembled a little when she raised the glass and took a sip. “It’s very nice here.”
“Uh-huh.” Every nerve ending on my body was on alert. In my mind we’d consummated our marriage a hundred times, but this was real life. Now that the door was closed and Laura was all mine, I wanted to experience everything I had dreamed of with her. The thought alone was more intoxicating than the wine in our glasses. After so many years of waiting, she had chosen me and soon she’d give herself to me.
“Are you nervous?”
Laura shook her head but the way she licked her lips and kept her gaze on my shoulder revealed that she was.
“I’m not going to hurt you.”
“I know,” she whispered.
“Are you tired?”
“No, I’m wide awake.” She leaned her head back, emptying her glass.
“Do you want more wine?”
“No.” Putting her glass down, she lifted her gaze to meet mine. “I’m ready.”
“You’re ready?” Butterflies spread in my stomach at the resolve in her eyes.
“Yes.”
Part of me wanted to ask her what she was ready for, but teasing her wouldn’t be fair. Instead I put my own glass down and led her to the bed at an unhurried pace. “You want to consummate our union.” It wasn’t a question, and I followed up by leaning down to kiss Laura for the first time since the wedding ceremony. God, the sensation of her soft lips on mine was more divine than I could have imagined.
“I have wanted to do this for a long time,” I whispered and kissed her again – this time a little harder with my hand snaking around her waist, pulling her closer.
Laura made the sweetest sounds as our kissing grew deeper. She was like the most delicious dessert: every bite an explosion of sweetness on my tongue.
“I want you out of your dress.” My voice was raspy with need, and she stiffened a little. “It’s okay, I just want to see you.”
Laura was compliant when I turned her around and opened her dress in the back. She kept her gaze down when I slid the dress off her shoulders and let it fall to the floor. My experience with women’s underwear was nonexistent, and I had to study her bra a little before I undid it.
My hands slid down her back, feeling the creamy skin against my fingertips. Planting small kisses down her spine, I inhaled her feminine scent as if it was a fragrance designed to enslave me.
Every part of me tingled when I slid my fingers inside her panties and pulled the white silk fabric down over her delicious ass. It was like unpacking a gift that I’d waited twenty-nine years for.
Squatting down behind her, I let Laura’s underwear fall to the pool of white fabric already by her feet. And then I looked up to see the whole vision of my gorgeous wife, naked with only her long red hair to cover her shoulders.
Laura was leaning on her left leg, her right knee slightly bent and her heel lifted just a bit. She didn’t turn, but waited for my next move.
Her ass was magnificent and with my hands I made circles on it, feeling the fleshy part of her hips and buttocks.
“Laura.”
“Hmm?” She still didn’t turn.
Standing back up, I undressed myself, letting everything drop to the floor. Maybe she had hoped sex would be done in the darkness under the covers, but that wasn’t what I wanted.
Turning her around I saw how perfect she was before I met her eyes. “I’m not going to hurt you,” I repeated.
Laura’s right hand was clenched around her left wrist. Her crimson cheeks made her large blue eyes stand out even more.
“Have you ever seen a naked man?”
She gave a small shake of her head, swallowed hard, and kept her stare fixed on my face.
“I’ve never seen a naked woman either.”
We gave our eyes time to explore each other. My focus lingered on her breasts. They were fuller than I’d expected, and I couldn’t wait to feel the weight of them in my hands.
The small sound she made had me look up to see her staring at my very erect cock.
“Do you want to touch it?”
With shallow breaths Laura tore her eyes away and held her position when I stepped a little closer.
I lifted her hands and placed them on my chest. At first, she didn’t move them, but when I began touching her shoulders and breasts, she reciprocated.
“Why do men have nipples?” she asked in a low voice. “I always wondered about that.”
I gave a small smile and leaned in to kiss her neck and jawline. “Don’t you like my nipples?”
“Yes, you’re very attractive, it was just a silly thought.”
“You think I’m attractive?” My hand fisted into her long hair, pulling her head back a little. My mouth was licking and kissing her neck.
“Uh-huh.” Laura’s eyes were closed and she sucked in air when I closed the gap between us. My cock pressed against her belly and it gave me chills to feel her skin rubbing against it every time I moved a little.
“I think you’re fucking gorgeous.”
Laura moaned in reply, and I couldn’t stop myself from bending down and lifting her onto my hips.
Her arms wrapped around my neck and we kissed as I carried her to the bed. My head was full of things I wanted to experience with her and the warrior part of me wanted to conquer and howl out my victory. This woman wasn’t just the prettiest, she was loyal too.
So many questions were on my tongue, but I didn’t ask her if she remembered making me a promise of marriage almost a decade ago. If she had forgotten, I didn’t want to know. Loyalty was everything to me and at that moment Laura was the loyal partner I’d waited for my whole life.
She smiled at me when I spread her legs and kissed my way down to her brown curls, eager to taste her.
“What are you doing?” she asked in a raspy voice and gasped when I licked her.
I didn’t answer her but tightened my grip around her thighs, holding her in place.
“Oh shit,” she moaned, and arched her back.
The taste of her was nothing like I’d expected. I had once read a book that called it sweet honey, but whoever wrote that book either hadn’t tasted honey or women. Laura’s taste was pleasant, like a female nectar that couldn’t be compared to anything I’d ever tasted before. Her moans intensified and she closed her eyes when my tongue circled her clit. She liked it; the research I’d done on sex between men and women had been right on that part.
“Scooch up on the bed,” I instructed her and got up on my knees.
Lying on her back with her legs spread, Laura looked like a goddess. Her nervous smile, when I lay down on top of her, made my protective side flame up again.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“Yes, I’m just not sure what to do.”
“You don’t have to do anything. I’ll take care of you from now on, Laura.”
“I meant about the consummation thing. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to do something.”
“You can do whatever you like. With me you’ll be safe.”
Her hand lifted and she played with my hair. Even that small touch had my cock hammering with excitement. When I was around seventeen, I’d overheard my father give advice to a champion before his wedding night. “Don’t make the mistake of waiting,” he’d said and slammed the man’s shoulder. “Establish your rights from the beginning and make sure she understands what you expect of her. You have the rest of your life to get to know each other; the breeding comes first.”
I wasn’t sure what he had meant when he said that the first time was always going to be bad for the bride, but I would do my best to make it tolerable for Laura.
Holding myself up on my elbows, I positioned myself and started pushing inside her.
Her eyebrows drew inward and she tensed up.
“Relax,” I whispered and kissed her again, eagerness tearing me up from the inside.
We looked deep into each other’s eyes, and the small nod that Laura gave me made my heart fucking burst with pride. That nod silently told me that she trusted me and that she wanted me to go on.
I pushed in deeper and pulled back a little, only to push in again. Being inside Laura was a thousand times better than having sex with a sex-bot. She was a real woman, with a beauty mark on her arm, and a small scar on her chin that no one would notice unless they were as close to her as I was.
“Ohh.” Her small moan made me almost lose my mind. There were so many things I wanted to try with her, but I’d promised myself that the first time between us would be about making her feel safe with me.
“We’re going to be doing this a lot,” I whispered into her ear and rotated my hips to get deeper inside her.
“I won’t mind,” she breathed and pressed her fingertips into my shoulder blades.
In my head, I checked off the box of establishing my rights. My woman understood that sex was expected of her and she was submitting herself to me.
Increasing the pace, I put my weight on my left elbow and took her hand. She intertwined our fingers and looked down at my lips with an invitation to kiss her again.
This time, I let my tongue slide inside her mouth and explored the feeling of our first French kiss.
Laura tightened her squeeze on my hand and moaned into my mouth, making my head feel like it was about to explode with pleasure. All my plans about being gentle and taking it slow were forgotten after that. My face grew hotter and perspiration formed on my forehead as I pumped in and out of her with speed and force.
“Get on your knees,” I instructed her and pulled out to give her room to turn.
Laura complied, and the mere sight of her on all four in front of me, with her creamy ass welcoming me, made me smile. She was my reward for fighting in the tournament, and with deep satisfaction I pushed inside her from behind.
“Careful,” she mumbled when I was a bit rough, boring my fingers into her hips and hammering my cock deep inside her.
My right hand smacked her fleshy cheek, making her jerk and look back at me with a raised eyebrow.
“Stand still and let me take you,” I ordered, and her face softened a little.
“That’s it, Laura, you’re going to make me a good wife, aren’t you?”
Her answer came out breathy: “Yes, Magni.”
“And are you going to do as I tell you to?” I pushed in to the root of my cock and felt it hammering inside of her.
Laura leaned down on her elbows, making the sexiest arch that made her ass stand out in a perfect shape. “Yes, Magni.”
“Good girl,” I muttered and fucked my perfect wife until I came in an orgasm that had me groaning out her name.
Lying on the bed in the Alaska cabin, I rolled to a fetal position, trying to ease the pain in my chest. How had Laura gone from being such an obedient wife to becoming a constant challenge?
Even good memories, like my first time with Laura, left me unable to breathe and filled me with regret. I’d lost her and every other good thing in my life.
It was just as well no one could see how fucking pathetic I was, or how wet my pillow was in the mornings from crying in the night. I didn’t cry during the day; my pride wouldn’t allow it. But being stuck in this fucking cabin, with too much time to think, had forced me to face my demons and I was exhausted from battling them.
Because of my stinking pride, I’d doomed myself to a life in isolation and loneliness. If I stayed here, I would end up like that deranged store owner with nothing but bitterness and anger to keep me company.
This is stupid!
The longing to see Laura again and experience the magic of being close to her made me stand up.
It’s too late, she doesn’t love you anymore. It’s better to stay away than have her pity you.
Pride made me sit down again and kick at the small table in front of me. I fucking hated this cabin and its crappy furniture. I wanted my suite with a nice bathroom and a comfortable bed.
Even if Laura divorces you, it’s better to go back than live in this shithole.
I stood up again, pushing my unruly hair back. My stomach was growling for food and the thought of going hunting in the snow was depressing. What I wouldn’t give for a shower, some decent food, or a hug from Laura.
I wished that I weren’t too fucking proud to go back.
If only pride were a physical opponent I could fight. Tearing the door open, I walked outside in the cold and screamed out my despair. Bending forward, I clenched my fists and emptied my lungs in a soul-wrenching scream that had me almost blue in the head from a lack of oxygen.
Birds lifted from the trees and took flight. For a second I wished I had wings and could escape too.
“I hate you, I hate you.” My words were directed at my pride and an eerie laughter from within filled my head.
You’re not going anywhere. You would rather rot here, than admit that you were wrong, and we both know it.
“I’m not staying here.”
Images of my brother with Pearl as his co-ruler made me groan and pride laughed again.
You’ll be Pearl’s little errand boy if you go back.
I’d never fought a greater opponent or felt this beaten in my life. Pride was a sadist that taunted me with the power he held over me, pushing at every sore wound.
In return, I focused on Laura, Mila, and the few other people I loved. I would never see them again as long as I stayed here. Falling to my knees, my scream of pain morphed into a sob accompanied by snot and tears.
Pride mocked me: Real men don’t cry, Magni.
“Shut the fuck up,” I hissed. With the amount of pain I was in, I almost expected the snow around me to be red with blood, but pride didn’t leave any trace in the white snow. With an evil laugh, Pride whispered back, Laura chose the Motherlands – you weren’t enough.
“I hate you,” I repeated.
I’m just protecting you my friend.
“No.”
Stay here where no one can hurt you again.
It took everything I had to push back and ignore all the worst-case scenarios playing in my mind. Sucking in air as a fuel, I got up from the ground. “I’m going back,” I declared.
Don’t be stupid. You’ll be ridiculed.
Dusting snow off my pants, I muttered, “I might be crazy enough to talk to myself, but I’m not stupid enough to stay in this miserable place for the rest of my life.”