DAMON
I awakened to an empty bed, convinced that what I’d experienced the night before was a figment of my imagination and Patricia hadn’t shown up on my doorstep last night. The idea was short lived when the object of my musings appeared in the doorway clad in nothing but one of my tee shirts. The light of the early morning streamed through the windows behind her, casting an ethereal glow around her form. I crooked a finger, indicating for her to move closer to me. Slowly, she approached the side of the bed closest to me and as soon as she was in arm’s length, I reached out, grabbing her thighs and lowering her onto the bed. As I pressed a kiss to her neck, she drew back, shaking her head.
“I’ve gotta go and we still need to talk. Somebody didn’t feel like letting me get a word in last night,” she said on a chuckle.
“I distinctly remember you repeating two words all night…harder and faster, so I don’t know what you mean?” I asked, pulling her body back flush with mine and pressing a series of fleeting kisses along her neck.
She groaned, arching toward me initially, then pulling back.
“I really have to go, but we really have to talk. Have lunch with me?”
“At the school?” I asked.
“Yeah, we can order in. No kids will be there because today’s an inservice day, but I still have to go in.”
I sighed like it was a big ordeal, “Fine, I guess.”
“If you can’t get away, I understand,” she said, breaking our eye contact and looking away.
I turned her head back toward mine so we were looking in each other’s eyes once again.
“It’s no imposition and I’ll see you at noon. Don’t worry about ordering in, I’ll bring something with me.”
“Okay.”
“All right, now that we have that all settled,” I asked, switching us from a seated to reclined position, “Exactly how quickly do you have to get up outta here…”
Patricia peered over my shoulder to look at the clock on my bedside table, “I shoulda been gone twenty minutes ago.”
“Well since you’re already late…” I replied, grabbing the hem of my shirt and pulling it over her head.
***
After Patricia left, I showered and went down to Sweet Thang to see how things were progressing. I didn’t necessarily need to check in because Ty ran a tight ship, but I still liked to be in the know on the days that I chose not to work. I was surprised to see Dorian, Reema, and DJ checking out at the counter.
“So y’all just gon come through and not tell a brotha?” I called out, walking into the main space from the kitchen.
“Unca Dame!” DJ yelled, running over to me at a clip. He damn near took me out, barreling into my legs full force, nearly cutting me off at the knees.
“Sup, lil dude,” I said, picking him up so we could do our special handshake.
The handshake was a new addition to our arsenal after he became obsessed with the idea of he and I having one because he saw that I had special handshakes with all of the kids I coached that we completed at the end of every practice and game. Dorian had brought the kid to a few games to see JR in action.
“Hey bro, this place is looking good,” Reema said, looking around, “I really like this cashier a lot better than that other chick.”
Dorian nodded in agreement, the asked in a lowered voice, “Did y’all ever get any more information about Jami’s whereabouts?”
I shook my head sadly. Ty and I had worked tirelessly to track her down to ensure that she was all right, but every road turned into a dead end as we searched to find her. I just hoped that everything had worked out for the best and maybe the deadbeat she was involved with had finally turned his life around and they were doing fine. I wanted to hold out hope that things turned out well for Jami because I shuddered to think of the opposite.
“What brings y’all by? Checking in on your investment?”
“Actually,” Reema began, “You’ll get a kick outta this. Somebody is addicted to the honey lavender macarons.”
I looked over at Dorian, surprised, “What?! Mister a cookie shouldn’t be more than chocolate chip Is a macaron fan? Well I’ll be damned!”
“Aye man, them lil moon pie cookies is hittin’. I don’t know what you put in em…and I don’t wanna know, but you need to keep them on the menu for as long as the doors to this place are open,” Dorian said, laughing.
“You got it,” I replied.
I stuck around Sweet Thang for a few more hours, helping out with some prep work before heading out to grab some lunch and meet Patricia at her office. It felt weird walking into the high school into quiet halls because there were no kids present. I followed the signage to the administration offices to find Patricia sitting at her desk, a pair of glasses perched on her nose as she perused some documents in a manila folder.
“Damn if my principal was as fine as you, I woulda worked a bit harder at getting sent to her office,” I said, before sitting down in one of the chairs in front of her desk.
Patricia flinched a bit, startled by my abrupt appearance. She flicked up her wrist, checking the time and shaking her head once she realized that it was well into the afternoon.
“As you can see, I’ve been face deep into docs all damn day. I hadn’t even realized it was lunch time.”
She moved to remove her glasses, but I reached out a hand, grabbing her at the wrist to stop her.
“Keep those on so I can keep my filthy fantasy going a bit longer…”
She laughed, biting down on her lower lip, but leaving the glasses perched where they were.
“Was Tee at her desk?”
“Nope, this place was like a ghost town as I walked through, almost eerily silent,” I replied.
“Damn, I must’ve really been in the zone if I didn’t mouth almighty was gone already,” Patricia replied, smiling, “Do I smell Thai food?”
“You do. Your desk or over there?” I asked, indicating an area in the corner of her office with a small couch and coffee table.
“Here’s fine,” she said, moving the files she had been looking at to the side and pulling out some hand sanitizer. She squeezed a bit on her hands before offering it to me. I grabbed the bottle, squeezing a bit on my hands and rubbing them together.
While I did that Patricia busied herself removing everything from the bag, setting a plate and utensils on either side of her desk for both of us and placing the food in the middle. I wasn’t sure what she liked specifically, so I just stuck with a couple of basic noodle dishes that we could share and some spring rolls. I also opted to grab us two Thai iced teas to accompany our meal. Despite not being aware of the hour, Patricia’s hunger was definitely acutely aware of the time as she loaded up her plate and immediately tucked into eating. We sat in silence for a while before, maxing the food, before she finally spoke up.
“Thank you, for this. If we didn’t have plans, I probably would have kept right on working and left here by dinner time starving.”
“Yeah…I could tell you were a little hungry,” I laughed.
“Just a little bit,” she replied, giggling while holding up her right hand with her thumb and index fingers squeezing an infinitesimal space between them.
“Couldn’t have you out here starving.”
We sat in silence for a little bit longer before Patricia let out a heavy sigh. I looked up from my plate with the remnants of pad see ew to see her resting a palm on her chin as she stared at me.
“What?” I asked.
“We gotta discuss the elephant in the room at some point, you know?”
“We can’t just slide back into our thing smoothly? I mean, that’s kind of working for me so far.”
“Yeah, but for how long, Damon?”
I sat back and took a sip from my iced tea. Truthfully, I was trying to avoid talking to her because I didn’t necessarily trust that I would actually want to hear what she had to say. Patricia’s penchant for wanting everything to fit into boxes for usage in the ways she designated made me hesitant to immediately jump into talks with her about defining our status.
I opened my mouth to speak, but she held up a hand.
“I need to…let me get this out before I lose my nerve. My life is organized, painstakingly so, in order to ensure that it goes to plan. Every single person and thing has its place and they’re rarely jostled out of them. When things go rogue, however, I tend to get a little…crazy. My life has been hit by the impossible from all sides over the past few months and instead of actually facing things head on, I retreated. Buried my head in the sand, trying valiantly to not be rocked by the changing tides, but…some things just refused to be ignored. My feelings for you being one of them. I…I don’t like not being in control, shocker. But…I’ve learned, am learning that I need to be a bit less…rigid. So…” she finished, looking away from me to stare at a bookshelf on the other side of the room.
I got up, circling her desk and pulling her chair back so that she faced me. I perched on the end of her desk, taking her hands in mine and squeezing them. “So…?”
“So,” she said, swallowing, “If it’s all right with you…I’d like to work on releasing my rigidity.”
“And that means what exactly?”
She shrugged, making a noncommittal sound and trying to pull back a bit and release my hold on her. I tugged her hands a bit tighter, pulling her from her chair to stand between my legs. I rested my hands on her waist as her hands curved around my shoulders and she leaned into me.
“Why is this so hard for me to say?” she muttered, more to herself than me. She pulled away from my grasp fully, walking across the room to the couch, pacing back and forth, muttering under her breath.
“Hey,” I said, getting up from where I’d perched upon her desk and pulling her into my embrace once again. She sank into it, dropping her head onto my shoulder and releasing another one of those deep sighs.
I pulled back a little; so we were making eye contact, “Talk to me. What’s up?”
She shook her head then opened her mouth to speak again. “I…can we just start over? Press the reset button, forget the mess of before and begin with a clean slate?”
I shook my head, “Nope.”
She stepped back, breaking out of my embrace once again.
“No?”
“That’s what I said. I don’t want to forget what happened in the past, but what we do need to do is use it as an example of what not to do going forward. No pushing me away, no running, and no giving up. That means none of this shit with me paying for the sins of niggas past. If we’re doing this, we’re going all in, Patricia. No half assing it.”
Patricia blinked as a small smile of shock spread across her face, “Ghosts of niggas past, huh?”
“I said it. So what’s up? You all in or nah? Coz if I’m wasting my time, you gotta tell me now.”
She snaked her arms around my waist, pulling our bodies together once again before raising up on tiptoe to plant a soft, lingering kiss on my mouth.
“That answer your question?”
I shook my head, lips pressed into a firm line, “I need to hear you say it.”
“Fine,” she replied, lips inches away from mine, “I’m all in.”
The grimace that had settled upon my face gave way to a grin as I moved forward once again, capturing her mouth with mine. I pulled away slowly, our lips smacking once they were full detached.
“See, now that wasn’t so hard to admit, was it?”