“Get off your phone,” Taylor says, throwing a hand over my cell phone. “She’s only been gone two days. Grow a pair.”

“Shut up,” I reply with a laugh.

“I’m glad you didn’t put up a fight into coming to this party.”

I look around the house. I haven’t been back here since high school. Since the night I caught Lana cheating on me. And honestly, I surprised myself when I told Taylor I’d come to Matt’s party. His dad’s out of town, and I guess his little brother is spending the summer with their mom, so he decided to throw a big party, now that Izzy has more free time for the summer. Truth be told, I think that’s the only reason I came; knowing Izzy and Cindy were going to be at the party. They’re Veronica’s best friends. I want to get to know them better. Plus, with her gone for a week, it kind of feels like I have a kinship growing with Cindy.

No, there is another reason. She’s only been gone two days, but I’ve been trying to convince myself that I’m not nervous. Maybe just concerned. No, concerned sounds worse. We just took a significant step in our relationship, so I should have no reason to feel like Veronica would ever do something with anyone else. Now, more than ever. But it’s still in the back of my mind. I’m hoping that being around my friends and hers, I can finally put those worries in check.

“And you’re still cool, right?” Taylor eyes me.

“What do you mean?”

He glances over my shoulder, and I turn to see Matt leaning against a wall in his backyard, behind a pool table, with Izzy’s arms wrapped around him. “With Matt. I know you said it’s fine when we were at the apartment, but I just want to check.”

“Yeah, I’m cool.” He raises a suspicious eyebrow. “Seriously, man. Look, he’s not my best friend, but that happened a long time ago. And it definitely helps that she hasn’t contacted me in a while. Plus—”

“Veronica,” he cuts me off. “Don’t remind me. I hear you screaming her name enough.” I try to stifle a laugh, but it still comes out. “Dude, you guys are loud.”

“Whatever,” I say through more laughter. “Do you realize how many times I had to listen to you and I never said anything?”

“Yeah, but I thought you were still sulking and not just being polite.”

“It was both.”

Like the last time I was here, I’m impressed by the house. Matt’s dad is some big shot lawyer from what I remember, and it definitely shows that he’s got money to spend. There’s a sauna set up, a hot tub, and a pool with different colored lights under the water. Next to the billiard table, there’s also a ping-pong table. And then, there’s the pool house. The pool house. Where I caught Lana.

I’ve told myself I’m over it and I am over it. I’m not angry about that or catching her on her birthday. I have no reason to even think about it. But seeing the pool house? Remembering what I walked in on, it still burns. Not so much that we were together, because I’ve gotten over that. For the most part. But just the fact that it happened. That she did that to me.

Maybe that’s why I’m constantly texting Veronica, hoping my texts keep her occupied enough in case some guy is hitting on her.

Micah, stop it!

Shaking it off, I walk over to an ice chest near the ping pong table and grab a new drink.

“Micah!” Cindy screams, running over to give me a hug.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Um, excuse you. That’s my man.”

As soon as I hear the voice, a smile cracks my lips. I turn around and see Jen, who bombards me with a hug.

“Jen!” I squeeze her back. “How are you?”

“Oh, you know, being awesome.”

Cindy and Jen know each other, so they exchange pleasantries. Emma walks over with her boyfriend, Carter, on her arm. She breaks away to give me a hug.

“Micah, I’ve missed you!”

“Aw, I miss you, too.”

“Ladies, ladies,” Taylor sidesteps over, a drink in his hand and total confidence lacing his words, “you may or may not know this, but Micah is spoken for now. I, however, am more than available.”

All three of them eye Taylor up and down.

“I’m sure you are, you tool bag,” Carter shouts out, laughing and wrapping an arm around Emma.

“Carter? I didn’t know you were here.”

Pulling Emma closer, he leans down and kisses her cheek. “Yup. Just showing up at my best friend’s party, with my girlfriend.”

Taylor’s eyes widen. “Oops, my bad.” He turns to Jen. “But I don’t know if we’ve ever been properly introduced.”

He extends his hand to her and Emma pushes it away. “Her name’s Jen. She’s my best friend. And her boyfriend is Lucas Mitchell, you horn dog.”

Taylor gives her a peculiar look. “Oh, you’re the chick that had Lucas spazzing in school.” We all laugh, and if I’m not mistaken, Jen blushes a little. “Where is Mitchell, anyway?”

She pouts. “Family camping trip. I couldn’t get the time off from work.”

“Oh, you poor baby,” I tease her, poking her ribs.

“Shut your mouth, Micah.” She scowls at me, before finally releasing a smile.

“Don’t let this guy fool you,” Taylor laughs, slapping me on the back. “He’s been whining for forty-eight hours about Veronica being gone.”

“I feel your pain, Micah,” Cindy commiserates with me.

“No, you really don’t, Cindy.” Taylor laughs. “Not unless you and V got your freak on before she started dating my boy.”

“Taylor!” I hiss through clenched teeth. He laughs some more and Cindy giggles.

“You know,” Jen nudges me, “I called that last summer.”

“Well, you’ve got a good eye,” I answer before looking at Cindy. “So, Cindy, no Jackson tonight?”

“Screw Jackson.” She stares a hole through me, and the silence around us simmers.

I decided to take a chance. “You guys on the outs again?”

“I don’t get that guy. Like, seriously, what is his deal? He’ll text me, we’ll go out, and then I won’t hear from him for five days. Then he’ll call me out of the blue and tell me he misses me. What the hell?” she grumbles, crossing her arms.

“I can have Lucas talk to him if you want,” Jen says, her voice timid and unsure.

“No. Maybe. I don’t know. I mean, I like him, but …”

More silence. We look around at each other, and thankfully Carter walks over with a couple cue sticks. “All right, me and Emma got the first game. Who are we playing?”

Jen looks over at me. “What do you say, Micah? Think we can take ’em?”

“Oh, it’s on.”

Laughs and drinks float around the billiard table as we all take turns playing. It’s been forever since I’ve had this much fun with Jen and Emma, and I’ve even cracked a couple jokes with Matt when he walked over. He doesn’t bring up our last discussion at the gym. Neither do I.

Taylor floats around the table, then mingles with a few girls in the hot tub. The only thing that would make this night better is if Veronica was here. Taking a few pictures, I send them to her, and she sends me a few smiley and heart emojis back. Cindy snickers behind me after I finish taking a pool shot.

“What?”

“Nothing.” She smirks and hides her phone against her stomach. I wait, raising an eyebrow. “Okay, but you can’t tell her I showed you. She’ll kill me.”

“Show who what?”

She laughs as she turns her phone around and I read her text messages.

There’s a picture of me standing next to Jen. It looks like I’m saying something to her as I hold my cue stick.

The next message is a picture of me, leaning over the pool table, about to take a shot. Cindy’s right behind me, so you get a perfect shot of my ass rounding out the cargo shorts I’m wearing. Following the picture is a message from Veronica of three emoji faces, all with heart eyes.

“Nice,” I tell Cindy, who’s still giggling.

Then I send Veronica a text message.

First, she sends me multiple emojis, mostly of shocked faces. Then of blushing faces.

Cindy and I laugh some more as I finish off my drink. Heading inside, I’m about to turn the corner for the hallway toward the restroom when I hear a commotion at the front of the house.

“No, man,” I hear Matt say. “If you want to stay, that’s cool, but that asshole has got to go.”

“Fuck you, Hillard!” I hear someone shout back and instantly know the voice. Jeremy McCormick.

When I get to the front door, Carter is standing behind Matt. A couple of their friends are next to them, offering support, as Franco Avila and Jeremy stand on the outside of the entrance.

All four of them—Franco, Jeremy, Carter, and Matt—were all friends in high school. Senior year there was a falling out between all of them. It started with Carter, and everything escalated from there. Franco always seemed to sit on the fence with Jeremy. Matt and Carter never had an issue with Franco, but Jeremy is a dickhead with a capital D.

“Come on, Matt,” Franco pleads. “I’ll keep an eye on him.”

“Shut up, Franco.” Jeremy pushes him aside. “I don’t need to be babysat like I’m three years old. What the hell, Matt? After all of the parties you and Carter went to at my place? And my place is ten times nicer than this shit.”

“Jeremy, cut it out, man,” Franco scolds him.

Jeremy looks at him like he wants to say something, but doesn’t. It’s weird. I don’t know them very well, but they come off as brothers.

“You see?” Matt speaks up. “That’s the shit I’m talking about. Sorry, dude. I’m not having him come in here, breaking shit, and then I gotta hear about it from my dad when he gets back in town.”

“Fuck this!” Jeremy shouts and then turns and leaves.

“Sorry, Franco.” Matt lifts his shoulders, apologizing.

Franco doesn’t seem mad. He looks annoyed, but not at Matt. “Yeah, yeah.” He turns around, following Jeremy.

Shutting the door, Matt turns and sees me standing there. Giving me a head nod, he smiles. “You good?”

“Yeah.” I point to the hallway. “I was just gonna use the bathroom.”

“All right.” He starts walking then stops. “Hey, last I checked the line was super long. If you want, you can head upstairs.”

“Are you sure?” I ask. He’s told everyone the only bathroom we can use is the downstairs one.

“Yeah, for sure. I trust you.”

“All right, cool. Thanks.”

Walking upstairs, I reach the bathroom door when I hear whispering inside. Of course, someone would be hooking up when I need to take a leak. I decide to knock, just in case, hoping I’m wrong and they’ll be done soon.

“Yeah, it’s busy,” a guy’s voice replies.

“Something’s wrong,” I hear a girl say, but it sounds slurred.

“No, it’s all good,” the voice continues.

“No, something … I don’t feel right …”

My hand stays on the door handle—one part feeling like I shouldn’t be listening, but another part of me telling me something’s off.

“Shh, just go with it,” the guy says.

“No, there’s something … Stop, I don’t …”

Okay, I could be totally wrong, but I’d rather look stupid than turn a blind eye. I shake the door handle. Locked.

“I said it’s busy,” the guy’s voice calls out.

“Everything okay in there?” I yell back.

“Everything’s fine. Find another bathroom,” he slurs.

“I don’t feel right,” the girl says again, the voice still groggy.

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s happening,” I call back.

“Shut up,” the guys hisses at whoever else is in there. I hear footsteps and then the door swings open.

The guy steps to me, his face a couple inches lower than mine, but that’s pretty much all I know about him. My eyes lock on the girl behind him. Lana. She looks befuddled. Her eyelids heavy. She’s wearing a skirt, but it’s pushed up and bunched around her waist, and I can see her underwear. Her eyes float over to me, and if she recognizes me, she doesn’t show it.

“I said get lost, man.” He puts a finger in my face, but I push it aside, walking toward Lana.

“Lana, what the hell are you doing? Are you okay?”

“Micah?”

“Hey—” I feel his hand on my shoulder. He spins me around, but I push my shoulder into him, knocking him to the ground. “What the hell?”

Turning back around, I stand her up, pulling down her skirt. “Lana? Lana, are you okay?”

Her legs are wobbly, and her hands come up to my shoulders, steadying herself.

“Micah, I don’t feel good.”

“Come on.” I drop her arm over my shoulder and walk past the idiot on the floor, who’s struggling to get to his feet.

“Get back here,” he calls out, but I’m already heading down the stairs.

We turn a corner and Jen is in the kitchen, laughing at something with Cindy. “Jen! Jen, help me.”

“What are you— Lana?” She looks at her and scowls. “What the hell is she doing?”

Before I can answer, the guy from the bathroom stumbles in behind me, pushing me in the back. “What the hell, asshole?”

“Go to hell!”

More people are crowding the doorway from the house to the backyard. Matt walks over, pushing his way through. “What the hell is going on?”

“Ask this scumbag.” I point to the guy.

“Hillard, you need to door check better.”

Matt looks at the guy, who he apparently knows, and then eyes me. “What’s going on, Micah?”

“I’ll tell you what’s going on. This douchebag gets his jollies off date raping girls.”

“Fuck you, I wasn’t date raping anyone.”

I look back over at Lana, still droopy-eyed. She’s leaning on Jen, her legs barely holding her up. “No? Then what do you call that?” I point back to her.

“We’re just having a good time, dumbass.”

“I said no,” Lana mumbles out, clinging closer to Jen.

“What the hell, Eric?” Matt yells at his friend.

“Hillard, we were just messing around. Popped a couple pills, you know how it goes.”

“Fuck that.” Matt steps to him. “Get the hell out of my house, or I’m calling the cops.”

Eric lets out a huff. “This is bullshit.” He stands there a moment longer, staring at me. He finally turns to leave, Matt following behind him.

“Micah,” Jen calls out to me, “she’s getting heavy.”

They both fall to the ground. Kneeling down, I push Lana’s hair away from her face, lightly slapping her cheek. “Lana! Lana, stay awake. What’d you take?”

“Micah.” Tears fall from her. She looks like she wants to hold on to me, but there’s no power in her arms.

“Shit!” I look around and see the concerned expression on Cindy’s face. “I need to take her to hospital. Jen?”

Jen bites her lip. Between her and Emma, Jen definitely dislikes Lana more for everything she did, so I can only imagine the thoughts running through her head. But she nods, and I pick up Lana, reaching in my pocket, and throwing Jen my keys. “Drive my truck.”

Jen weaves through the traffic as I hold Lana, remembering why I dated her in the first place but finding none of those reasons as I hold her. She’s always been full of life. Yes, she likes to party, and even if I’ve always been more of the keep-to-myself kind of person, I liked that about her. She would laugh and have fun and meet new people. We’ve always been opposites, but I sort of liked that about us. But I don’t see any of that now.

I keep yelling at her, trying to keep her to stay awake, because it’s the only thing I know I’m supposed to do. She’ll look up at me, but it’s like she doesn’t recognize me.

When we finally get to the hospital, the nurses help us along. Thankfully, Jen stays with me, holding my hand. I know she loathed Lana—probably more than I did if that’s even possible—but I can tell she’s worried, too. They start asking her questions, and one of the nurses hands her a cup. Lana takes a sip before spitting it out. They get another cup and the dark liquid leaks out of her mouth. Then she starts gagging before we’re ushered out of the area.

“Mr. Fernandez?” A nurse comes out later.

“Yes?”

“We think your friend’s going to be okay, but we’re going to need to monitor her.”

“Okay.”

“We’ll let you stay, but can only allow one of you bedside with her.”

Jen and I exchange looks before she speaks up. “Go home, Micah. I already sent Emma a text. She’s bringing my car.”

“Are you sure? Should I … I mean, do you think she’d want me here?”

“Yeah, she probably would. But this isn’t your problem, Micah.”

“It’s not yours either. She’s my ex-girlfriend, Jen.”

“Yes. Ex. It still pisses me off what she did, and neither of us should have to be here right now. I hate to say it that way because it makes me sound like a bitch, but it’s true. But I’ll be here when she wakes up, because … well, I mean she needs someone to tell her whats what and it doesn’t seem like she’s listening to you.”

She’s right. I know she’s right, but I still feel like I should stay. And at the same time, I know I can’t. If I stay and I’m the first person she sees when she wakes up, then where does that put us, as far as she’s concerned? Will she think I did this because I still love her? Will she beg and plead with me to give her another chance? And how much worse, after all of this, will she take it if I say no again? Because I will say no.

“Okay.” I finally nod and give Jen a hug. “Thanks, Jen.”

Leaving the emergency room, I look back at the doors, wondering one more time if I’m doing the right thing. I hope I am. And I hope Lana finally starts getting her life together and moving on. The right way.