Numb? Cold? Lifeless? I don’t know how I feel. She doesn’t believe she’s good enough for me? I knew she was self-conscious, but I had no idea it’d keep her doubting how I really feel. After everything, I never thought for a second she’d ever think she wasn’t good enough for me.

“I’m sorry,” Lana whispers behind me. “She really was a nice girl. And cute.”

Spinning around so fast that I nearly lose my balance, I step to Lana. My short comatose state vanishes and nothing but rancor surrounds me.

“You.” I stare down Lana. “What the hell did you tell her?”

She takes a step back, no doubt sensing my indignation. “I just told her the truth, Micah. The truth about us.”

“There is no us, Lana!”

“Yes, there is. There will always be an us. We know each other. I know what you like, and you know what I like. I know what gets you mad—”

“You do? Really? So are you sensing anything right now?”

“Micah—”

“No!” I take a step toward her as she takes another step back, leaning against my truck. “No, you don’t get to say anything else. Lord knows what you told her to make her feel like she doesn’t mean anything to me.”

“I just told her the truth.”

“As you see it?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

I know I need to control myself, but I’m so pissed off. The parking lot is scarce of cars, the sun starting to set. This was supposed to be a good night. We were supposed to finally squash all of the uneasiness that’s been floating between us. I can still feel the key I had made in my pocket, a small token just to reassure Veronica that I wanted her around all of the time. She could come and go as she pleased, though hopefully, she’d be around a lot more. Now I don’t know if I’ll ever get to hold her again, much less give her this stupid key.

I take another step, inching closer to her.

“It means the truth is pretty black and white. You screwed around on me. Twice. I broke up with you. Twice. That’s the truth. There’s no denying that. So how is it that you think I’d possibly give you a third shot? Especially when you know I’m with Veronica. What could possibly make you think I’d dump her and go back to you? You think you know me so well, right? Well, tell me, Lana … would I break up with a girl I’m in love with just to go back with some two-timing bitch?”

She flinches at my words. Never breaking our stare, I can see tears well in her eyes. I know it’s harsh. Beyond harsh, but I’m out of carrots at this point. I have no idea what else I can say so she realizes that us getting back together is never going to happen.

“That was low, Micah,” she whispers. I hear her voice crack as her arm wipes away her eyes.

“No. What’s low is you stalking me.”

“I’m not stalking you! I love you! You were my first, and I want you to be my last. I know I fucked up, but please—”

“Wait a minute.” I look back at the entrance to the parking lot, Cindy’s car long gone. “You didn’t … oh my God, Lana. Tell me you didn’t talk to Veronica about the times we had sex.”

“Of course I did. It all proves my point. We belong together. We learned what one another likes. I know your lips, and more importantly, I know how they make me feel. I know how you make me feel.”

“Son of a bitch! What the hell is your problem?”

“You! You’re my problem. I’m doing everything in my power to prove to you that I want you back and I’ll change. People make mistakes.”

What in the hell? Now she’s going on with that? “Enough with the mistakes bullshit!”

“It’s true! You know that more than anyone.”

I can see her tears have dried up, as her eyes pop open, and she slaps her hand across her mouth.

“What? What’s that supposed to mean?”

She shakes her head, keeping her hand clasped over her lips.

“Lana?”

Her eyes jump away, looking anywhere but me. “I’m not supposed to say anything. But it’s why your mom has been so kind. She’s seen this play out before.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Your dad, Micah. He … he cheated on her.”

My head snaps back in disgust. “Bullshit.”

“It’s true.” Her eyes finally find mine, and they are starting to well up again.

I don’t know the right word to express my feelings. Anger, for sure, but anger feels like too simple of a feeling. If my entire body felt iced over and numb as Veronica drove away, it’s done a complete shift, and now I’m boiling over with volcanic hate. How dare she say that?

“You don’t know what you’re talking about. He would never.”

“Ask your mom, she told me when I called her. She asked me not to tell you, but I can’t let you go. If they worked it out, and they love each other, we can work it out, too.”

The malevolence writhes through me, as I take a step closer to her. Her back’s pressed against the tail end of my truck, and I lift my arms, leaning over her.

“Listen to me, very carefully,” the words drip out like hot venom.

“Micah, you’re scaring me.”

“I don’t give a shit. You and me? We’re over. There will never, ever be anything between us again. Don’t call me. Don’t text me. I don’t care if you’re stuck in jail without a soul to call because you’ve turned your life so upside down that even your parents have disowned you.”

Tears fall over her cheeks, but all I feel is apathy.

“You told my girlfriend that you’re better for me because of our past. Let me tell you something, Lana. She’s my future. I may have learned how to fuck with you, but I know what it’s like to make love because of her. And now, you dare try to play my parents against me? Try to use them as some kind of pawn in this stupid, sick game you’re playing, to win me back. Fuck you, Lana.”

“I’m not … I’m not trying to play anything. I love you!”

“No. You only love yourself. Always wanting to have a good time, and damn anyone else’s feelings. I never want to see you again, Lana. Never.”

Finally backing away, I reach for my key and get in my truck.

She rushes to my window. “Please, Micah, I need you. You’re my home.”

I start my truck. “No, I’m not. Not anymore.”

The only two places I can think of going are to Veronica’s and my parents’ house. Because of how Veronica left, I decide to go to my parents first. In addition to it being closer to my apartment, I need to find out just what my mom told Lana and finally put the nail in the coffin of lies. Either she said it to make Lana feel better because she still feels something for her, or Lana made it up. She didn’t seem like she was lying, but I can’t imagine my mom making up a lie like that either.

“Mom!” I call out, swinging open their front door. The house sounds empty, but the living room lights are on. “Hey, Mom, you home?” Still nothing.

The nerves die down a bit. Both of their cars are in the driveway, so I know they didn’t go anywhere. Maybe they’re in the backyard, enjoying the evening by the pool.

“Micah?” my dad calls out. Turning around, I see the back patio sliding-door open. “What’s up, son?”

“Hey, where’s Mom?”

I don’t want to ask him about it. He could be devastated to learn what my mom might have said, even if she was doing it in some kind of misplaced sympathy for Lana.

“Her and your aunt decided to have a girls’ night. Shopping and dinner.”

“Oh.” Going outside, I scan the area. He’s already changed out of the clothes he usually wears to work and is in shorts, sandals, and a T-shirt. “What are you doing?”

Motioning to the grill behind him, he picks up a spatula. “We’ve had some steaks in the fridge for a few days. I figured I better grill them up before they go bad.”

I stare aimlessly at the grill, nodding.

“You okay, son?”

“Yeah.” I nod again. “I just needed … I wanted to ask her something.”

“Anything I can help with?”

“Um, I don’t think so.”

Lifting his shoulders, he offers me a smile, heading inside. “Okay, I’ll be right back. Gonna grab the steaks. Want anything to drink?”

“No, I’m good.”

He retreats inside while I take a seat on one of the patio chairs. This is stupid. Lana’s lying. She has to be. She played me twice, and now she’s trying to do it again by either blatantly lying about something or twisting whatever my mom told her. If I never see her again, it’ll be too soon.

Then there’s Veronica. How in the hell did I never see that’s how she’s felt this entire time? I thought we were fine. We all have insecurities, I know I still do, which is why my first thought when I sensed something wrong was to assume she’s cheating on me. But how are we going to work through this? Is it even something we can work through? I don’t have the first clue what I can do to prove to her I don’t care if she’s tall, short, stick thin, or overweight. I just know I’m in love with her, but apparently that’s not enough.

“What’s going on, son?” Dad breaks my thoughts, sitting on the opposite patio chair, setting down the steaks and a can of soda.

“It’s …” He stares at me, but I’m not sure how to ask him.

“Is this about you and Veronica?”

“Yes and no.”

“Did you guys finally talk?”

I let out a disbelieving chuckle. “Oh, we talked all right.” He waits patiently for me to fill him in. “She’s not cheating on me.”

“That’s good. Right?”

Taking a deep breath, my cheeks expand as I slowly let it out.

“I have no idea. Dad, everything is all screwed up.” I get up from my chair, nervously pacing. “She’s not comfortable around me. She thinks I can do better than her, because of … I don’t even know. Her weight? How I look? I’m still confused. And then Lana went and shit all over everything.”

“Lana? What does she have to do with this.”

Leaning over the chair, and I hang my head between my shoulder. “We were supposed to meet up tonight, me and Veronica. Talk everything out.” I pull out the key from my pocket, staring at it. “I even got a damn key for her. I thought we’d talk and maybe if I showed her that I want her around all of the time, maybe if she could come and go as she pleased, we could get past whatever’s been going on. When I got to the apartment, Veronica was already leaving. Lana was there. They talked, about what I still don’t have a clue, I just know Lana basically told her we’re soulmates. I have no idea what I’m going to do or if I can even do anything at all. And then …” Shaking my head, I let out another chuckle. “Then Lana really tried to mess with me.”

I finally look at him, finding his gaze locked on me—sympathetic to everything I’m going through and being the tree of truth I’ve always leaned on.

“Dad, I can’t believe I’m even saying this to you. I was going to ask Mom because that’s who Lana said it was, but … damn it, I have to know what she said, and maybe you know. Maybe Mom told you.”

“What is it? I know your mother liked Lana, she hoped for the best for you guys. You two reminded her so much of us.”

His smile is warm. His words are comforting. Which makes the sting I feel that much more abundant.

I grumble lower before finally holding his gaze. “Dad, she told me you cheated on Mom. And I can’t for the life of me figure out why she’d ever say that. Lana knows how close we are. Does she think saying something like that will make me want to rely on her more? I need to know what Mom told her. Did she tell you anything?”

Our eye line never breaks. I knew it. He can’t believe it. Mom never told her any of that shit. Lana made it all up.

“No. Your mother never said anything to me.”

“That bitch.” I can’t help the vulgarity that escapes me. “I knew she was lying. I can’t believe I ever dated her. How could she make something like that up?”

“Micah—”

“No, Dad. I don’t care what you say, that’s crossing the line. So, not only is Veronica gone, for who knows how long, maybe forever, but now she’s trying to mess with my life and turn me against my own family.”

“Micah.” His voice is compassionate but stern, making me stop and look at him. “She wasn’t lying.”

“What?”

“Lana. She isn’t making it up.”

I stare at him, dumbfounded, unable to grasp his meaning. “What? What do you mean she isn’t lying? Dad, she said you cheated on Mom.”

“I know. And I did.”

“What?” It’s still not computing.

“It was a long time ago before you were born. We were in college and—”

“No! No, no, no. What? What are you telling me?”

“Micah, calm down.”

“Calm down?” He gets to his feet, and I take a step back, unable to recognize the man I’ve looked up to my entire life. “What the fuck, Dad?”

“Micah, listen to me—”

“Listen to you? Are you serious right now?”

He takes a step toward me, but I curve around the table, keeping my distance. “It was a long time ago. Your mom and I aren’t perfect, and just like everyone else, we had our own issues to work out.”

“Issues to work out? You can’t be serious.”

“I’m sorry, son. I am. It’s true. Your mom probably told her hoping you might give her another chance like she did with me.”

“Another chance? Another chance, Dad?”

He tries to get closer to me, but I continue to back away from a man I don’t recognize anymore. “Just sit down, Micah. Let me explain—”

“Fuck you and your explanation.” The pain on his face is as if I just hit him.

I’m lost. Adrift in an ocean I thought I knew my way around and now everything—everything—is completely upside down.

“Micah—”

“No!” I scream at him, throwing the chair I was sitting in across the backyard, sending it into the pool. “I can’t believe this.” He’s gotten closer and reaches out, giving my shoulder a squeeze, but I recoil. The hurt on his face is worse than when I told him off. “Don’t touch me! I don’t even know you anymore.”

“I’m still your father. I’m still the same—”

“There’s nothing about you that’s the same! Don’t you get that? Nothing.”

Without waiting for anymore possible explanations, lies, or deceptions, I whirl around and dash through the house. Getting to my truck, I sit inside for a moment, trying but failing to digest everything that’s happened.

“Micah!” Dad calls out.

I see him standing at the front door, but don’t answer. Instead, I turn over the engine and speed off, unsure of anything in my life anymore.