Chapter 12
“Shawna?”
Shawna looked up, distracted. She was busy with Maria, who was getting a solo lesson to make up for lost time.
“Just five minutes, Layla we’re almost done.”
“Right, I’m sure he’ll wait.”
And Layla was gone, leaving Shawna alone with Maria again.
It took a couple of minutes before Layla’s words registered.
He?
Wait?
Who?
“Maria, I think you’ve got it. Can we call it quits for the day?”
Maria nodded, looking curious.
“Is it him?”
“Who?”
“Him. The rich dude who has you picked up. Ryan’s dad.”
Shawna shook her head.
“I’m sure it’s not.”
“You broke up?”
Maria looked devastated.
“Why, did you have bets placed?”
Maria shrugged.
“We had a pool going, but I was hoping you’d have your fairytale. You deserve it. And he has loads of room and money, we could have a practice hall and all the time and instruments we want.”
Shawna chuckled.
“When did you become so mercenary? Anyway, I’m sure it’s not him, and I don’t know who it is. Now off you go and when you feel the itch to gossip about my love life, consider using the time and effort to practice your scales instead.”
Suitably chastened, Maria left, calling goodbye to Layla.
Layla popped back in.
“Shawna? He’s waiting.”
“Who?”
“Elijah.”
“What’s he doing here?”
Shawna felt like a leaden weight had plowed into her stomach. She could hardly breathe.
It had been two weeks – two very long weeks – and she’d just managed to start sleeping through the night again.
The last thing she needed was to have him blunder back into her life.
“I don’t know. I suggest you go and ask him. I have to go out. I have a… A thing.”
“Layla!”
Before Shawna could demand that she not be left alone with the man, Layla had disappeared, too.
Well, it looked like she had to deal with it.
He couldn’t be back to demand the money back, could he?
They’d lose the house if he did!
No, he wouldn’t. He wasn’t cruel.
Refusing to love her, that didn’t make him cruel. That just made him who he was.
He hadn’t set out to hurt her.
He wouldn’t do it.
She took a deep breath and tried to wrap her pride and sense of self-preservation around her like a cloak before she focused on putting one foot in front of the other and going out to see the man she still, despite everything, was in love with.
She thought she could be prepared, but seeing him made her heart break all over again.
He looked so handsome, and now she could see that slightly lost look that Ryan had always had – until recently – in his eyes.
“Elijah. I didn’t expect to see you here.”
“I tried to get in touch with you.”
Shawna nodded.
“I needed some distance.”
“I called.”
Shawna nodded, and didn’t say anything.
What could she say?
“I emailed.”
Shawna sighed.
“Why do you hate email so much?”
Shawna shook her head.
“I needed some distance,” she replied.
“Do you know what I need, Shawna?”
She looked away, willing herself not to break.
“I discovered that I need you.”
Shawna looked at him, startled, her eyes wide.
“What?”
“I find that I need you, Shawna. I was fine without you. I was fine before you came into my life. I didn’t ask for it, for any of it. Then you came and you changed everything, and then you left. You just left.”
Elijah had gone there meaning to be sweet and cajole her back to him. But now that he saw her, saw that she had lost weight and hadn’t been sleeping, he was angry – he was angry with himself for the pain that they were both in.
“What?” asked Shawna again, stupidly.
“Do you think you can just do that? Turn up, turn everything around until I don’t know which way is up or down, and then just leave? Just leave, and tell me to just sort it all out, as if it’s possible. As if I could get you out of my mind, get the smell of you off my skin, the feel of you off my hands. As if I could wake up in the morning and know that you’re not in my life, and be fine with it. And Ryan! He hopes you’ll be there on Sunday evening, no matter what. Nothing I say can convince him that somebody else will do. You came into our lives and changed everything, Shawna. Then you walked away.”
Shawna’s mouth fell open.
“What?”
“Oh for fuck’s sake, say something other than that word!”
“I… I’m sorry.”
“Sorry? You’re sorry that you made me feel again, and then took it away? You’re sorry that you made that little boy laugh again and then took that away from him, too? You’re sorry that you made us both fall in love with you, and then just walked away without giving us a chance to… to…”
Elijah stopped.
That wasn’t how he had meant to say that, either.
“What?” asked Shawna, again.
Defeated, Elijah sank into the comfortable chair again and sighed.
“I don’t know what it is about you that makes me lose my mind,” he said, looking baffled.
He looked older, thought Shawna, and she wanted to smooth those lines away, take that tiredness away.
But had he really said those words?
“I thought you weren’t going to love again.”
Elijah smiled, a crooked little curve of his lips that made Shawna feel almost giddy with joy.
Oh God this was happening, and she looked a mess, thought Shawna, frantic.
“I wasn’t. But then, you didn’t seem to care about my plan. You just burst into my life and gave me things I thought I didn’t need. You left and I couldn’t breathe. I need you. We need you. I… I love you.”
Shawna felt the effort it took for him to say the words, and she walked to him, kneeling in front of him, her hands on his lap, and looked up at him.
“You don’t have to say the words if it’s difficult, Elijah. I just needed to know that you hadn’t closed your heart. That I would knock forever and be left with only bloody fists and a broken heart. I just needed to know that you’d find a way to open your heart again, sometime.”
Elijah sighed and leaned forward, resting his forehead on hers.
“Shawna, I had no plans of falling in love again. Ever again. But I didn’t know you. Now I don’t know how to live without you.”
Shawna hugged him, so tight, and felt herself being lifted up and onto his lap. She didn’t let go, not when she felt his lips against her neck, against her cheek, finding her lips, and the taste of him was everything she needed.
The taste of him was everything she had been trying in vain to convince herself that she could live without, and now she had him.
He was there.
Dreams did come true, even the wildest of them.
“I missed you. I missed you so much,” he whispered, between kisses that made her heart thunder, that made her body feel like it was on fire.
The kisses turned passionate, as they greedily drank in the taste of each other, tongues sliding over each other’s, hands moving over bodies with a desperation too deep to not be filled, a need too strong to ignore.
“Bed. Now. Here. Need you,” moaned Shawna as she felt his hands tugging her T-shirt up to cup her breasts, his thumbs moving over her nipples until she felt the pleasure shoot through her entire body, making her shudder with it.
“Here,” said Elijah, and she loved how his voice was breathless.
She felt him grow hard underneath her, and she tugged up her skirt to invite him to touch her more intimately.
“I missed touching you,” he said, and he flicked open her bra to cup her breasts, her bare flesh filling his hands, his fingers moving over and around her nipples until she was moaning with the thrill of it.
“Tell me you missed me,” demanded Elijah, his eyes on hers as his fingers moved over her nipples, squeezing lightly before stroking them, until she squirmed on his lap, feeling his erection pressing against her hot, wet womanhood.
“I missed you,” she whispered.
“Tell me what you missed. I want to hear you say it.”
She moaned again as he kissed her neck, open-mouthed, wet kisses.
“I missed how you touch me. I missed having you inside me. I missed… Oh, I missed everything. Make love to me. I need you, Elijah.”
Her words sent his heart racing and his blood pumping.
“God, yes,” he said, and quickly pulled off her T-shirt, and slipped her bra off.
She wasn’t far behind. Shawna quickly undid the buttons of his shirt and pushed it open, loving how handsome he looked, how toned he was, how his tanned skin gleamed as she stroked his chest, her fingertips moving over his nipples.
She let her nails graze over his nipples and felt them get hard, and she purred in pleasure as she pressed her body closer to his, letting her breasts press against his hard chest, her nipples getting tighter as she moved against him.
“So soft, Shawna,” he whispered, and his hands moved up her thighs, caressing the soft, sensitive skin of her inner thighs.
She felt the slight pressure as he pressed with his thumbs and squirmed in his lap again, and felt his erection get even harder, twitching against her.
She needed him inside her, so badly.
“Elijah, please,” she begged, as she felt his fingers teasing against the edge of her panties. She moved on his lap, trying to get him to touch her.
“I missed how hot and wet you get for me, too. I missed being inside you. I want you,” he whispered, and his finger slid under the soft cotton of her panties and touched her hot, wet folds, making her whimper as she held on to him.
“Oh yes,” she breathed, biting down on his shoulder as she held on to him. His fingers moved over her, finding her clit and stroking it lightly before moving away, finding her tight, wet hole and sliding inside her, two fingers stroking her as they slid in and out of her, filling her.
But she wanted more than that.
She needed more than that.
She needed the hard, velvet length of him inside her, deep inside her.
Abruptly, she pulled away from him, sliding down from his lap to kneel on the floor, in front of him. With a smile on her face, she cupped his crotch and stroked him, feeling him pulse and throb at her touch.
“My turn, I think,” she whispered, and undid the buckle, unbuttoned and unzipped him. Slowly, taking her time, she pulled his hard length out and, eager to taste him, slid the tip of her tongue over his tip, over his head, underneath where he was so sensitive, before wrapping her lips around him and sucking, gently, then harder, her tongue sliding back and forth.
His hands were buried in her hair as he moaned, his hips bucked a little as he thrust, and she welcomed it as he moved, deeper in her mouth.
She bobbed her head, back and forth, and took as much of him inside her mouth as she could, and she loved the taste of him.
“That feels so good, Shawna, don’t stop,” he moaned, and she moved faster, harder, her hands wrapping around him and stroking him, sliding along the slickness she had left.
She braced herself with her hands on his thighs and sucked on him, until she felt his fingers tighten in her hair, and she pulled away.
“Now I want more,” she whispered, standing up, and she slid her panties off, undid her skirt and let it drop, and stepped out of it.
“You’re all I need,” said Elijah as she swung a leg over to straddle him again. This time, she reached down and curled her fingers around his hard length, kept it in position as she slid herself on him, stroking herself with him, and felt him throb against her.
“I need you inside me. I need you, Elijah. Always,” she whispered.
Circling her hips, she took him inside her, everything in her tensed and waiting for him, and felt him stretch her, fill her slowly and steadily.
She rocked against him and he held her, letting her take her time as she took him inside her.
“Oh yes,” she moaned, and took his mouth in a long, deep kiss as she took him all the way inside her.
“Don’t stop,” he urged, holding her hips, still letting her set the pace as she moved, riding him, slowly, steadily.
Her breath came heavily between her parted lips, and he bent down to catch her nipple in his mouth, sucking on it gently until she started riding him harder, and faster.
“Oh yes,” she moaned, and she felt an arm around her waist, holding her, and his other hand left her hip and found her clit, stroking her, pressing her, until she was so close, so on edge that she couldn’t hold on any longer.
“Come for me, Shawna. I want to feel you shatter around me. I want you. I need you, I love you.”
She couldn’t hold back.
She didn’t want to hold back.
She cried his name, her head thrown back in wild abandon, as she climaxed, her body clenching and quivering, trembling as she squeezed him, as the pleasure ripped through her as if it would never end.
“Oh yes,” he said, and he waited, waited till she could take it again, and this time, his hands on her hips were strong as he moved her, as he thrust up into her, harder and harder.
This time, he set the pace, and it she felt it rise again, rise higher still.
She held on to him and let him take her, needed him to take her, as she felt his hands on her, holding her, as if she belonged to him.
As she did.
She did belong to him.
“Elijah,” she moaned, nearly sobbed, as she felt it flash through her again and the orgasm made her cry out, and hold on to him, so tight that her nails dug into his back.
He whispered her name as he thrust into her, again, and again, until she felt him tense, his muscles go rigid for a long moment, and she felt him find that same pleasure he had given her. She felt him tremble, and she loved knowing that she could do that – she could make him feel so much that she could make him tremble.
This time, as they both came down from that peak, there was peace. There was…
Yes, there was love.
And this time, she could say it.
“I love you,” she whispered.
“I love you, too. I’m looking forward to making love to you for the rest of my life.”
Shawna looked at him, her eyes wide, almost faint with the shock of that declaration.
He was still inside her, they were still connected, and he was messing with her?
“What?”
“There you go again,” said Elijah, frowning a little, teasing her, and shifting her to sit to one side on his lap, cuddling her close to him.
“What did you mean by that?” asked Shawna, insisting.
Elijah sighed.
“I guess you’re not going to let it go, are you?”
Shawna frowned and shook her head, obviously considering punching him in his perfect nose.
“All right, then I have a couple of things for you. Now first, I want you to know that one of these is from Ryan. And he helped me pick out the other one. If you take one, you take both. It’s a package deal.”
Shawna laughed, delighted.
“Like the two of you? Really?”
“Yes, thanks to you. Ryan says that he will learn from you or from nobody, at least for now, so you’ll have to teach him again. But we don’t need it to be once a week if you accept this offer of mine.”
“What offer?”
She was breathless.
Could it…
No, it couldn’t.
Could it be?
“At least you didn’t take my pants off. I can reach my pockets,” mumbled Elijah, and shifted her a little again, effortlessly, as if she weighed nothing, and pulled two small boxes out of his pocket.
“This is from Ryan.”
She opened it, and she smiled, though tears filled her eyes.
“It’s perfect,” she told him, and traced the little pendant, shaped like a violin, and a bow, on a silver chain.
“He’s paying for it from his allowance, by the way. We should be clear in about a decade.”
Shawna chuckled.
“And you?”
“This is from me.”
She took the box, still hardly believing that it could be what she wanted it to be.
With trembling fingers, she opened the box, and she sighed.
It wasn’t a diamond.
It was a pink gold band with a ruby in the middle, framed by two emeralds, and the effect, somehow, was to make it look like a musical note.
You could only see it if you were looking for it, which made it even more special to Shawna.
“Elijah…”
“I know I’m supposed to get down on my knees, but I rather like having you in my lap. So, Shawna… Will you keep music and sunshine and laughter and picnics and love in my life, and be mine? Will you marry me?”
Now the tears did flow, and she didn’t care. She couldn’t have stopped them if she’d tried, so she didn’t try.
“Happy tears? You’re not going to make me wait, are you? I don’t want to risk losing you again. You wanted to know that I could love you. I do love you, Shawna. I loved you very reluctantly at first, but I love you. I will do anything you need to be able to trust me. Marry me. Marry me whenever you want to. I just need you to know that I love you. I always will.”
Shawna sighed.
“Put it on my finger.”
“Is that a yes?”
“Put it on.”
Elijah took her hand delicately, kissed her fingers, and slid the ring on.
“It fits,” he breathed.
Shawna smiled. It did.
“Yes. Yes, I will marry you, Elijah. I will love you, and tease you, and drive you mad. Always.”
“I’m counting on it,” said Elijah, and finally let out the breath he’d been holding.
He hadn’t messed it all up.
He hadn’t screwed up. At least, even if he had, she loved him enough to help him fix it.
The past had finally been laid to rest, and he had a future to look forward to. He had Shawna.
“Now,” said Shawna, “we’d better get dressed before Layla gets back.”
“Do you think we have twenty minutes?” asked Elijah, his lips busy on her fingertips, sucking them, and pulling her closer to him. He made her laugh, and she settled back against him, letting him touch her, and awaken all of those things inside her again.
“Maybe we do,” she said.
They managed to find twenty minutes. After all, they did have always.
*****
“Miss… Shawna! Come on! I’m waiting!”
Shawna grinned at Elijah.
The ring gleamed on her finger.
The pendant, as precious as the ring, was close to her heart.
“I wonder when he’ll stop calling me Miss Woods. He nearly called me Shawna in class today, though.”
“He’ll have to call you mom in a few months,” said Elijah, proudly.
He looked as if he had won something he had worked for very long and hard when he looked at her.
Shawna rolled her eyes.
“The poor child is going to be very confused. Now, remember, the remodeling will start tomorrow. Don’t come home and look around and lose your temper. Remember that you more than just agreed to it – you insisted on it.”
Elijah nodded.
“Yes, Miss Shawna, I remember. Now, will you please remember that you and Layla are due at the boutique next week for your shopping spree? And if I hear one more word out of you about money, I will spank you. And not the way you like it, Miss Woods.”
Shawna grinned.
Having almost unlimited money was a new experience, and she didn’t think she would ever get used to it.
She honestly didn’t think she wanted to get used to it, either.
“If I didn’t love you so much, I’d say no. Can’t we just elope?”
Elijah chuckled.
“Layla will skin me alive.”
Shawna sighed.
“She would.”
“Shawna!”
Ryan sounded like he was on the edge of a tantrum.
“I’d better go and do that duet with him. Come and listen?”
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” said Elijah, and watched as the woman he loved bounded up the stairs to the son he had almost missed out on loving.
He had given up on happiness.
Oddly enough, it had found him.
As the music filled the room, joy and love filled his heart, and he let himself feel it – the hope that it could happen twice, and that it could last.
They would make it last.
The End.