Chapter 13
Maddie
“Hey,” I say, huskily. “I hope you slept well.”
He props himself up on one elbow and gently pushes me onto my back, then he lowers his face and his lips glide silkily across mine.
“Hmm,” he murmurs. “It took a wee while, but after ye had ye wicked way with me for the third time, I slept like a log,” and he chuckles.
“I guess I wore you out,” I say.
Jamie lets out a snort of laughter. “Aye, lass, that ye did, at no mistake.”
“Any regrets?”
He slides closer and his eyes search out mine. “Nae, lass. Although,
“Me too. And there’s no going back.”
“But what about Callum?”
I squirm under the sheets. “We’re over. I’m asking for a divorce.”
“Are ye sure it’s what ye want? After all, it’s so final.”
I nod and wrap my legs around him. “Yes. I’ll not be his doormat for a moment longer. I guess I saw the train wreck heading my way. Of course, I didn’t think it would be because he’d had a child with someone else,” and then I swallow.
“It must have ripped ye heart out to learn such a thing after what ye went through.”
I push a blond curl behind an ear and let out a sigh. “If it had been anything else, I could have probably forgiven him. But not after such lies and deceit. No. He must be made accountable for such a deception.”
I turn onto my side and lie in the crook of his arm, taking a deep breath. He smells masculine, musky and woody with a hint of Hugo Boss. I kiss his neck and his skin tastes sweet, like honey. He drops his chin and I kiss him again. His stubble tickles my cheek as I sweep my tongue towards his ear.
“I’m crazy about ye,” he whispers.
“You don’t know that much about me.”
“I ken enough,” he tells me, brushing his thumb gently across my mouth, and my stomach lurches. There’s passion in his eyes and I lose myself within them.
An alarm goes off and Jamie reaches over to the bedside table. He picks up his phone and lets out a deep groan.
“Oh, no; have ye seen the time? I should’ve been up hours ago, and we need to go and see granda, too.” He pushes back the covers and dives out of bed. I enjoy watching his naked form clamber into a pair of jeans, my eyes devouring every part of his body, from his rippling torso to his strong muscular legs. There’s so much I’ve yet to figure out, and yet…we’re as one when we’re alone together. My head’s reeling with possibilities. Already, I’ve learned he’s clever, smart and fiercely passionate.
“You’re only a little late and I can help feed the cattle,” I say, punching a pillow and resting my head into it.
He stops and gives me a smile. It’s the way his top lip curls slightly at the edge that makes my heart skip a beat.
“Then get yir gorgeous arse out of bed.”
There’s a noise from downstairs, then a door bangs and footsteps come up the stairs.
I sit bolt upright and grab the covers, clutching them to my chest. Jamie quickly zips up his flies and then rushes to the bedroom door, but he’s too late. Callum comes barging in.
“Hey, bro. Have you seen Maddie? Only her bed hasn’t been—”
Callum stops dead in the doorway. His eyes switch from his brother, to stare at the me, lying in his bed.
“What the—”
My heart pounds at the sight of him, but Jamie tries to push him out of the room. Callum, though, pushes back.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” he cries.
“Get out,” I scream, lifting the bedsheet to hide my face. Although I’m angry with him, I’m also ashamed at being caught in Jamie’s bed.
“You’ve got no room to talk,” says Jamie, “not after what ye done.”
Callum’s jaw drops. “You conniving sonofabitch.”
The sheet’s ripped from my clutches and I scream as I try to claw it back. Callum pounces on Jamie, his arm drawn back. He throws a punch, but Jamie ducks and Callum hits the door, instead.
“Argh!” he cries, shaking his fist, and Jamie lifts his hands in surrender.
“We dinnae have to do this,” he says, breathlessly. “Just do the right thing and leave.”
Callum’s mouth twists with spite. “Oh, you think you can just take my wife without a fight, eh?”
“I’m not taking anyone,” Jamie says, his eyes angry. “Just do us all a favour and get out before things turn ugly.”
Callum lets out an unexpected peel of laughter. “Oh, you think you can get rid of me that easily? Well, I’ve got news for you.”
I take a deep breath. “Don’t make this any harder than it needs to be,” I say, and his head snaps back towards me. I suffer a shiver of unease, for Callum’s eyes are bulging and it scares me. He points an accusing finger in Jamie’s direction.
“So, you think he’s sweet and innocent, do you? Well, let me tell you—”
Jamie’s taken a sharp intake of breath. “That’s enough,” he yells. “Now, get out!”
Callum shakes his head as a dark cloud crosses his face. “No. Not until Maddie learns the truth of what you did to her.”
“I dinnae do anything,” Jamie says and turns to me, his eyes now pleading.
“Lies. All lies,” Callum shouts, and my gaze switches to Jamie.
“No,” he says, shaking his head. “Please, Callum; dinnae do this.”
“What’s he talking about?” I whimper.
Callum stands tall, his eyes wide, triumphant.
“We had a pact, Jamie and I.”
“A pact? What do you mean?”
Jamie moves closer to the bed and kneels beside me. “Dinnae listen to him,” he begs, “he just wants to tear us apart.”
My eyes flick back to Callum, standing there all smug.
“Go on,” I say.
“It was the night of the pub quiz. We made sure you had a few drinks too many. We planned on getting you drunk.”
I feel my brows furrow. “Why would you want to do that?”
Jamie’s hand creeps up and tries to take mine, but I pull away.
“Please, ye have to believe me: I dinnae go through with it.”
I focus my attention back on Callum.
“What did he do?” I ask, a chill creeping up my spine.
Callum takes a step closer to the bed.
“I asked him to sleep with you, if he’d be willing to take my place, and he agreed.”
I pull the covers closer, suddenly feeling violated. Bile is rising in my throat and I find it impossible to swallow.
“Why the hell would you do such a thing?” I rasp.
“Because I knew you were desperate to have a child. I could think of no other way for us. Jamie’s the perfect candidate. If you fell pregnant, you would never have known the difference, and the child could easily have passed for mine.”
Tears sting my eyes as I turn to look at Jamie. “Is this true?”
Jamie hangs his head. “He asked me and I agreed, but when it came to the crunch, I couldnae go through with it. I wanted ye so badly, but if it was to ever happen, I wanted it for the right reasons.”
I start to shake. I can’t believe what he’s telling me.
“You were willing to take advantage of me?” I cry.
“No. That’s just it: I wasnae,” and he lifts his head and pushes his fingers through his red hair. “I’d ne’er do such a terrible thing,” he cries, and now he’s staring straight at me. “Aye, I admit I thought seriously about it. Stood at the end of yir bed and almost went through with it. But at the last second my heart stopped me. I’ve wanted ye for so long that it killed me to contemplate doing something so despicable to ye. I guess I just wanted ye to love me.”
I pull away from him, wrapping the sheet around me as I do. As I climb off the bed, he stands back, and I scurry past, relieved that neither Callum nor Jamie try to stop me leaving. I hear the bedroom door bang shut as I hurry away, my feet silent on the stairs. I open the front door but then hear a loud crash and hesitate, looking back over my shoulder, a sob escaping my throat when Jamie staggers into view, Callum’s fingers tight around his throat.
“Stop it, both of you,” I cry, and Callum spins towards me, his face white, ashen. He lowers his hands and stares at me, and a shiver creeps down my spine. His chest heaves, his eyes round and wild. When I flick my gaze to Jamie, his arms have fallen to his side, his head bowed low. I turn away, pull the front door towards me and fill my lungs with the day’s cold air, then I step out into the freezing snow, the shock on my bare feet making my teeth chatter. I follow the path to the garden house, rush upstairs and throw off the sheet as soon as I’m in my bedroom. I’m trembling now and draw a shaky breath, scurrying naked into the bathroom. I hit the shower, its burst of hot water erupting against my skin as I run a hand over my wet hair and allow a river of salty tears to pour down my face.
I simply can’t believe what Callum is capable of, to see how far he will go. To ask his own brother to sleep with me, to switch places, for God’s sake. My night with Jamie comes rushing back like a tidal wave, an intense swell that having sex with him evokes, the one that’s swept me out beyond the breakers. My body now floats in an eternal sea of ecstasy. He’s kind and considerate, totally unlike Callum, but then I think back to the night of the pub quiz. Callum came to bed late, and our lovemaking was the best it had ever been, but it was Callum. No matter how drunk I may have seemed that night, I was not drunk enough not to know my own husband.
I dry myself, grab my spare pair of jeans and a warm arran jumper, then clean my teeth and scoop my honey-blond hair up into a top-knot. I go back into the bedroom and hunt down my phone, relieved to see it’s switched off by my bed. I turn it on and scroll through my contacts, hitting a number which then rings three times.
“Hey, Maddie. Finally. I thought you might have left without saying goodbye.”
I try to hold back the tears and my voice crackles with the effort.
“Can we meet up?” I ask.
“Sure; like when?” Bridget replies.
“Like now?”
There’s a pause.
“Maddie, is everything okay?”
“No, and I need to talk to you…please.”
“Of course. Where would you like to meet?”
“Somewhere local. How about in town?”
“Too public, and I sense you need a little privacy. How about coming over to my place? We won’t be disturbed here.”
“That would be perfect. Are you sure you don’t mind?”
“No, not at all. Does your car have satnav?”
“Yes, it does.”
“Good, then write down my postcode and make your way over as soon as you’re ready.”
I hurry down the stairs and into the living room in search of a pen and paper. I’m turning over a pile of old magazines and newspapers littering a dark oak coffee table when I spot a small writing pad and pen by the Trill telephone Jamie insists will be worth a small fortune someday.
“Okay, I’m ready,” I say, and scribble down the directions.
“Just head straight for Allanfearn and keep the Moray Firth to your left and you’ll not go far wrong,” Bridget advises.
“That’s great,” I say. “I’m on my way.”
I grab my handbag and search inside and am soon clutching the spare set of car keys. Hurrying down the stairs, I lift my coat from off the peg, shoving my feet inside the first pair of boots that fit.
Outside, I head straight for the red hatchback and climb into the driver’s seat, and am just spinning the car around when Jamie and Callum come out of the farmhouse. I press my foot to the accelerator that little bit harder when Jamie makes a dash towards me. His hand hits the roof of the car as he tries to stop it, but I refuse to slow down, my mind now focused on where I need to be.
***
I drive carefully, slowly, and watch Balinriach Farm disappear in my rear-view mirror. I switch my eyes back to the road ahead and reach a T-junction, indicate, and turn left onto the A96. The sky above me is grey and miserable and I wonder if more snow is on its way.
Switching on the radio, I try to find an upbeat song, something to take my mind off what’s happened at home. Home, what a joke. I glance out of the window, to see a large fold of Highland cattle grazing in a field, the farmer busy dropping off bundles of hay. He’s thickset, stocky, and wearing a flat cap. He reminds me of Alasdair and a wave of guilt washes over me. I should be making my way to the hospital not searching for a shoulder to cry on, but there’s no turning back now. I need to speak to Bridget, to tell her everything.
I find a local station playing the latest top ten hits, but the sound is jarring to my ears, just noise, and I can’t stand such an assault right now. I switch the radio off, grateful for the sudden peace and quiet.
The satnav breaks through the silence to tell me to take the next right. I slide the wheel through my fingers and ease off the accelerator, now heading inland, towards open countryside. A patchwork of dark earth and fallen snow wraps itself around me. In the distance, slate blue water sits peacefully along the horizon.
I drive down the country lanes much more slowly. The snow hasn’t been cleared here, being off the beaten track, and I feel the ABS kick in when I hit a patch of black ice. I suffer a shudder of unease, and for the first time, I wish Bridget didn’t live in such a remote area.
The wind blows wildly as I turn onto a narrow dirt track, a signpost up ahead welcoming me to Achnamara cottage. The moment I draw up outside, I’m in awe of the place. It has large eco-friendly windows everywhere, even in the roof. I step out of the car and the front door opens. Bridget waves and I hurry over.
“Did you find me easily enough?” she calls, and as soon as I reach the doorstep, she hugs me tight.
“Yes, the satnav brought me straight to your door, although the weather could be a little kinder.”
“If it was kinder, it wouldn’t be Scotland,” she laughs. Bridget stands aside to let me pass then closes the door and pulls a thick tartan curtain across the doorframe.
“I’ve already put the kettle on,” she says, turning to face me. “Unless you’d care for something a little stronger?”
I smile. “No, tea’s fine. Thanks.”
She gestures for me to follow her into an open plan kitchen. The cottage is like nothing I expected. I thought it would be log fires and antlers on the wall, but I couldn’t be more wrong. It’s modern and minimalistic, and the far wall has been replaced with a full sheet of glass. I’m drawn towards it like a magnet and am instantly surrounded by panoramic views of the loch, of mist-peaked mountains and snowy glens. The wind is blowing through the trees and I find myself waiting for William Wallace to appear on one of the hills, riding a black horse, his face painted blue and white in readiness for war.
“It’s beyond breath-taking,” I sigh. “No wonder you love staying here.”
“Yes, it’s my little piece of heaven. There’s nowhere else in the world like it.”
“I can see why you’d think that.”
“Milk and sugar?”
“Hmm, just milk please,” and Bridget soon offers me a lime green mug.
“Biscuit?”
“No, the tea will do nicely, thanks.”
“Let’s go into the sitting room. It’s cosy there, and then you can tell me what’s on your mind.”
I take a gulp of hot tea as we enter another room that has two fireside chairs covered in a pale grey tartan. We sit down and my eyes are drawn towards a brightly coloured mural painted on the wall. It’s of deep purple mountains surrounded by a skyline of pale blue.
“Wow, that’s stunning,” I say. “Did you paint it yourself?”
She smiles. “Yes; I got the owner’s permission, of course.”
“You must be good friends,” I say, lifting the mug to my lips again.
“Kind of. He’s my ex-husband.”
I almost choke. “Oh, I didn’t realise you’d been married.”
She waves her hand, as if to pooh-pooh the situation. “It was a long time ago, and we’ve gone our separate ways.” She places her vivid orange mug down onto a glass coffee table. “Still, we’re not here to talk about me, are we?” and I let out a sigh.
“I don’t know where to start. I’m so confused.”
“I find the beginning can be useful.”
“My life’s a complete mess,” I tell her, and the first tears prick my eyes. “Callum, my husband, has been lying to me since the first day I met him. In fact, our whole marriage was built on a lie.”
I stare into Bridget’s eyes and can see the concern that’s written there.
“So, what’s he done?”
I take a deep breath. “Callum’s been having an affair.”
“Is it with Ally?” she asks softly.
I suck in my breath. “How did you know?”
She shrugs. “I have eyes. I may live in the middle of nowhere, but that doesn’t mean I’m blind. I’ve been coming here for many years now and know a lot about the locals. I was aware Ally and Callum had a thing going at one time.”
“Then you know she has a son.”
A shadow flits across her face and she looks away.
“Did you also know that Callum’s the father?” I ask.
“I guessed,” she says, reaching for her tea. “To be honest, it wasn’t exactly hard.”
My gut tightens as I place my own mug onto the coffee table.
“You’ve seen him? The boy, I mean?”
She shrugs again. “Once or twice.”
I let out a sob and her jaw drops.
“You mean you’ve never met him?”
I shake my head. “No, and until yesterday, I wasn’t even aware he existed?”
I lower my lashes as the tears start to flow.
“Christ, Maddie, how could Callum do something so wicked? I’m sorry, but I’ve got to be honest, I’m finding this hard to take in. I am genuinely shocked,” and she jumps to her feet. “I’m a firm believer that in times of crisis a stiff drink is in order,” and she heads off back into the kitchen, returning with two crystal tumblers filled with whisky.
“Here; drink this,” she orders. “It’ll make you feel better.”
I shake my head. “I can’t; I’m driving.”
She frowns. “Then stay. There’s a spare room, and you can leave whenever you’re ready.”
I wipe away my tears with the back of my hand as Bridget places the tumbler onto the table, next to my mug. She reaches for a box of paper tissues from a shelf behind her and offers them to me.
I take a Kleenex and blow my nose.
“Thanks for the offer, but I’ll have to go soon. Alasdair’s in hospital, you see, and I need to see him.”
“Why, what’s the matter with him?”
“He suffered a cardiac arrest.”
“How awful for you all. Is he going to be okay?”
“We don’t know for sure, but we’re trying to stay positive.”
Bridget sits back in her chair and takes a large gulp of whisky.
“You really are going through the wringer.”
I try to laugh, but a hysterical noise leaves my throat, instead.
“Yes, and if that wasn’t bad enough, I’ve suffered yet another revelation.”
Bridget halts, the glass to her lips. “How can anything be as bad as finding out your husband has been lying to you about a child you never knew he had?”
“It gets much worse. What you don’t know is that Callum caught mumps soon after Ally got pregnant, which made him infertile.”
“You mean…Callum can no longer have kids?”
“That’s pretty much the crux of the story. We found out after months of trying for a baby. We used all our savings on IVF, but nothing worked. I craved a child so badly, I even said I was willing to adopt, but Callum wouldn’t hear of it.”
Bridget looks down into her whisky. “Yes, I’ll bet.”
“I learned this morning that, out of desperation, Callum tried to convince Jamie to sleep with me.”
Bridget lifts a hand to her throat. “You can’t be serious.”
I pick up my tea. “Oh, never more so.”
“But why would he do such a thing?”
“Because Callum thought that if Jamie was able to get me pregnant everything would be all right between us.”
“You mean he asked his brother to switch places?”
I stare into my cup, unable to look her in the eye. “Yes.”
“What? Without your consent?”
I force myself to look at her. Her face is pale, her eyes wide.
“It was the night we visited the Scran and Sleekit. I got a little drunk and…Jamie, well, he was supposed to sleep with me that night.”
“And did he?” Bridget asks, arching a pencilled brow.
“No. I may have been drunk, but I wasn’t that drunk.”
“Are you sure? I mean, they are identical.”
“Of course I am. I sensed someone in the bedroom not long after I went to bed. I thought it was Callum, but when he never got into bed, my subconscious woke me.”
“So, do you think that’s when it came to the crunch? Jamie couldn’t go through with it?”
“All I know is that he didn’t sleep with me that night. But I just wish he’d told me what Callum had planned.”
Bridget shakes her head fiercely.
“Are you kidding me? He’s never going to admit that to you, or to anyone. Put the shoe on the other foot; would you?”
My shoulders sag as I stare down at the pale-yellow carpet.
Bridget comes over and kneels in front of me, placing her hands on the tops of my arms.
“Jamie loves you,” she insists. “I’ve known ever since the day of the festival. And why I refuse to believe he would ever deliberately hurt you.”
A single tear slides down my face. “How can you be so sure?”
“Because of what he wrote on his bay leaf.”
My brows furrow. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“Everything.”
I take a steadying breath. “Okay, so tell me: what did it say?”
She lifts my chin with her forefinger and stares deep into my eyes.
“Jamie wrote: ‘Maddie, my heart and life is forever yours’.”
I try to hold back the tears. “He actually wrote that to me?”
Bridget nods. “He’s the one you should be with, not Callum. I’ve sensed this all along. Whatever mistakes Jamie’s made, they were all for you; because he loves you.”
“But couldn’t you say the same for Callum?”
“I guess it depends on how you look at it. Were his actions truly because he loved you or because he was riddled with guilt over having a child with someone else? But whichever way you choose, at the end of the day, it’s your call.”
My mobile goes off just as Bridget rises. I reach inside my handbag and learn I have missed calls from both Jamie and Callum.
There’s a text message, too, from Jamie.
I open it and read the few words.
“I need to go,” I say. “Jamie says it’s granda.”
“Do you want me to drive?”
I shake my head. “No, you can’t, you’ve had a drink. Even I’m aware there’s zero tolerance to alcohol in Scotland.”
“Damn my foolishness,” and Bridget’s eyes fill with regret.
“Don’t worry; I’ll be fine. And thanks for the tea…for everything.”
I squeeze her hand and she reaches out and hugs me once again.
“I’ll always be here for you, whenever you need me,” she whispers in my ear, and when she breaks away, I smile at her.
“I’m so glad I fell on my arse that day at the brae.”
“Me too,” and her voice has filled with laughter. “It was the funniest thing I’d seen in ages!”