Chapter Twelve
~Mahogany~
Too stunned to move, I stared at the top of Mrs. Middleton’s dark, wavy hair with gray weaved through the strands and thought, What the hell just happened?
She hadn’t accepted me in her son’s life before now. Now, she was speaking wedding lingo as if it was the most natural thing in the world to say to me of all people. What did Chance say to her on the phone the other day besides we had a child together? Whatever it was, he should’ve said it to me first, or warned me of what was coming next: a shotgun wedding.
“Mama! Do you really not recognize your own son anymore? Where’s my dang hug?” he reiterated. Thank God for Chance trying to come to the rescue.
His mother, the feminine, shorter and slightly plump version of him, twisted her head in his direction but held on to the skirt of my dress, and instigated a trapped sensation that spiraled throughout me. Oh, how I felt trapped. Weird that she was the only one making me feel that way when her son who had entombed me in a promise to ease his hurt and was utilizing my body to do it.
Damn, I liked being trapped by him. That made me weird as fuck, and I should be telling his mother, ‘There will be no wedding, Mrs. Middleton, your son can’t stand me after what I’d done to him.’
But you wish there would be a wedding. Shut up, conscience. Wanting a real wedding with the Chance I met years ago was much easier thought than saying out loud and would expose my vulnerable side, so I said nothing and ignored the catch in my chest. All the while, I prayed that Mrs. Middleton would forget that I was a human with feelings again and just go away. She didn’t.
“Son, I’m busy working out the details of your wedding to the mother of your child.”
Chance wrapped an arm around her shoulder, hauling her upright by his hand on her arm. The hem of my dress rose with her hands, which he tugged from her grip so it fell along my thighs again.
“Well, you’re scaring her, mama. Look at her face. You wouldn’t even speak to her when you first met her or afterwards, now you’re accosting her clothes and pushing her down an aisle… and you still haven’t spoken to her,” Chance chastised, and I loved him for it.
She glanced up at him, clutching her pearls over her own summer dress. “You’re right, son. I’m being rude and have some explaining to do to.” Her attention switched to me. “Mahogany?”
“Hmmm.” Humming my acknowledgment to my name was the best I could do when totally shell-shocked.
“Can I have a word alone with you later?”
“I-I guess,” I stuttered, looking to Chance for aid because I didn’t know how to take his mother right now.
The snobbish lift of her nose was absent, along with the dismissal turn of her head to look anywhere but at me when I was in the vicinity. Yeah, well, she was eyeballing me now and the regretful expression she wore was puzzling.
“No, mama, you cannot have a word with her because you’re getting ahead of yourself,” Chance butted in. “We’re dating right now. It’s been years since we were together and we have to get to know one another again, so no wedding, no meddling. Just say only hello to Mahogany, then go meet your granddaughter.”
I so loved this man right now, but why did he make it seem as if we were dating in the traditional sense of the word? He was still ‘fucking the pain away’ with me as far as I knew. Obviously, I needed to have a word with him. We were no longer on the same wavelength. As long as I knew what I was getting into, and what to expect, I could deal. Deal was what I did best. Changing up on me suddenly pushed me out of my comfort zone. He and her both were doing that to me, him first with the laundry then helping me out of the car after saying the sweetest of things to me in it.
Mrs. Middleton smiled brightly. “Hello, Mahogany.”
I waved with a shy wiggle of my fingers. “Hey, Mrs. Middleton.”
She stepped forward then heaved me by the shoulders into a hug and murmured by my ear, “Call me, Dania.”
“I… okay,” I agreed, with a glimpse at Chance, who was clearly embarrassed and motioned with his head for me to go out the door, but I never got to it.
The family members that couldn’t get to Majestic got to me halfway on my escape route. Some of his relatives I knew already, like Cena, who was kind and unmarried and wanted a hug too before she tried to wrestle my daughter from Chance’s great-grandmother again. The old lady held on tight, claiming she had one foot in, one foot out the grave, so that gave her first dibs on all children born after her. The people I didn’t know personally because they weren’t kind, like his aunts and uncles and older cousins that were just as dismissal as Dania years ago, bombarded me. His father stood back, still straddling the fence when it came to me: friendly when Dania wasn’t near, avoided me when she was.
One of Chance’s aunts wanted to dress me up too, soliciting my and Majestic’s sizes to send me custom Mumbai wear from her boutique in Fredrickson so we wouldn’t feel out of place when we visited their native country during the annual family trip at the beginning of the year sponsored by Chance. The terms of ‘dating’ Chance did not include family gatherings, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell these people who wanted nothing to do with me years ago that I didn’t want to be in their family fold now just because my uterus worked properly.
Holy hell, what had I lugged into my world when I jerked Chance into it? A nagging premonition that warned I was about to find out dropped like dead weight in the bottom of my stomach.
Astrid announced she had to leave for another call thirty minutes later. I almost pleaded with her to deputize me, then take me with her. Instead, I used the excuse of walking her out to her cruiser to get a break from the people clamoring to get to me as much as they were Majestic. After Astrid dumped in my hands the candy sack that would bring any kid joy on Halloween, she drove off with a promise to come see Majestic when less people were around. I watched her brake lights until they vanished on the open road, then plopped down on the hood of Chance’s rental car, exhausted. There I sat for an hour until he walked out of the building. Looking a little troubled, he took the initiative to pull me off the car, spun me around before stealing my seat on the hood, then hauled me between his widespread legs where he cupped my spine with his hands. Only then did my own troubles recede.
“Don’t worry, Mahogany. The novelty of you and Majestic will wear off soon, then you two will just be one of us. If it doesn’t, my relatives visiting from Mumbai have to go home tomorrow, the rest back to Fredrickson. Your timing is perfect to meet just about everyone but not have to deal with them for long.”
I tipped my head over into his chest. “That’s a relief. I’m not used to everyone liking me.”
But when was he going home? Couldn’t bring myself to ask him. I didn’t want to know. Didn’t want him to go. Didn’t know how to make myself feel any other way about it either.
His chest began to vibrate beneath my brow as he chuckled his ass off. “You know my father went through the same thing with my mother, except it was her mother that didn’t think my parents’ relationship would last long because of the differences in their cultures.”
“Did your mother hide you from your father for two years before they accepted him?”
“Nope, they broke up three years before I was born for the same reasons my grandmother predicted. A year after the breakup, they reunited then broke up again. Then my mother discovered that she was pregnant with me before they accepted him. My family has a rigid belief that we should marry someone Indian so we can’t forget where we come from, but they also think if you can make a baby together, you can damn sure stay together to raise it… unless one partner is too undesirable to keep around. Domestic violence amongst a few other no-no’s is not tolerated.”
“So, Lenox was accepted into the family by default too, huh? Who pulled on his clothes and assumed he and your mother would be getting married?”
“My mother’s mother did about five years before she died. My parents have lived happily ever after most of the time too.”
“That’s not our future though, Chance,” I said quickly to remind myself and those damnable hopes of mine that’ll float to the top if I wasn’t paying attention.
“You don’t think so?” he asked quietly.
“I know so.”
“How’s that?”
I moved to get eye to eye with him. “Because you’re trying to get over me, remember? And I’m trying to get over you.” That wouldn’t be the case if life was fair, but it wasn’t and I had to remember that my lot in life was what it was and had always been: to do without what I wanted the most. Majestic my only miracle.
He sucked air through his teeth. “How could I forget that? Well, in that case, I should get in another kiss while you feel responsible for helping me to get over you, don’t you think?”
Truthfully, I wanted him to say something else like he didn’t want us to get over each other. He didn’t. A piece of my soul splintered, so I lifted my head and stole his mouth for my own, to kiss the damn pain away and created a ruckus in my panties instead.
“What is it with you two kissing in parking lots?” Tommy asked out of nowhere after much time had passed. “Do the lots have to have specific requirements or do you two just eeny meeny miny mo it?”
Chance snickered like a dry-throated dog. “Mahogany is being adventurous with me.”
“Lucky bastard,” Tommy grumbled good-naturedly.
I wasn’t in a joking, grumbling, or good-natured mood, more interested in eye-raping Chance, with my hands draped on the thick cords of his neck. In my side view, Tommy held a sack from his restaurant. The smell of the food made my stomach grumble. Chance swiped hair out of my face then removed one of my hands from his neck to stuff the BMW keys in it. Rather strange thing to do, I thought.
“What are these for?”
“For you to run off if you want to. I should get back inside. Come in when you’re ready… or don’t. I don’t want you uncomfortable and my folks will understand. They know they can be overpowering, you need to get used to the new status quo, and they should be hungry by now. Tommy, I’ll be bringing twenty-one customers by the restaurant in a little bit, so get out the menus, push some tables together, and I’m paying.”
“If you’re bringing that many people, damn right you’re paying. I can do one or two free plates at a time because business is good, but not ‘empty out a whole freezer for free’ good. Gotta draw the damn line somewhere.”
In no hurry to return to the strange acceptance currently located in Majestic’s room, I backpedaled after leaving a tiny kiss on the corner of Chance’s mouth for considering my needs when he didn’t have to, especially after I had deceived him, but it was past time I forgave myself for that even if he didn’t. I wasn’t so sure that he hadn’t forgiven me too when he planted a tiny kiss on the corner of my mouth then winked before getting up. Tommy crossed over to my side. I finally noticed his car a few spaces away along with two big tour buses Chance’s family must have arrived in.
“You’re not going back inside?” Tommy asked with a frown.
“No time soon,” I stated while observing Chance disappear through the hospital doors.
Tommy’s grimace deepened in my side view. “Why?”
I swung my attention to him. “Because everyone has flip flopped on me, including Chance.”
“What does that mean?
“Well, when I was with Chance, his family didn’t think we’d last, so only his sister wasted her time being nice to me whenever I came around. The rest of his family were right though, we didn’t last. Now that I have Majestic—”
“You’re a welcomed addition to the family and it’s disturbing,” he inputted.
“Yes. I don’t like when people change.”
“What about when it’s a good change? Do you want me to make them feel bad about treating you like shit years ago?”
“I never know when people change for the good because they rarely flip in that direction and oh God no, don’t cuss anybody out!”
Imagining Tommy speaking his mind to Chance’s family horrified me. Their mistreatment was years ago. If I had held a grudge, it was well past time to let it go, at least for Majestic’s sake. Grudges made for tension neither she or I needed.
“People change all the time, Mahogany. That’s why we take chances on them or take off running when shit goes bad or gets worse. Sometimes, they surprise the hell out of us by changing for the good though, and let me know if you change your mind about me having a word with his folks. Delivering a good cussing out is a stress reliever for me and that’s always free. Won’t ever change. Now, what about Chance? What did he change up?”
“I don’t know if he changed up or if he changed back to the Chance I knew and loved.”
“You still do know and love him, and of course he’s changed; it’s been three years. Change is hourly these days, but him being a man you can stand is good in my book.”
“Not good. He’s trying to get over me.”
Tommy rocked to the side as if I had swung at him. “With what I just saw, it’s more like he’s was trying to get something out of you, literally. Dude was damn near sucking your spine out through your mouth.”
“What did you see?”
“Nothing.”
“Tommy!”
He pushed the sack into my stomach. “All I know is I stopped by with lunch as promised. The container with mac-n-cheese is Majestic’s, but if you take a few bites of it for yourself, I won’t tell her. Anything else you need to hear needs to come from Chance.”
Suspicious, I took the food with a pinch of Tommy’s good soul from his hands. “Thank you, Tommy… for everything, even keeping secrets. I know you know something.”
“There you go with thanking me for everything. Don’t thank me. Just be happy and pleasssse come back to work.”
“I’m trying to do both, but…”
“But what?”
“It’s hard to explain. One is easier to do than the other at this point. I should be back at work by next week. Have to come back anyway. Money is running out. Majestic should be home by tomorrow. I can ask Chance how long he’ll be here and if he can babysit until Mrs. Kindleton isn’t laid up with her broken hip. Regarding being happy, this is the hard part I think I just have to accept that happy comes in a different form for me.”
“Which is?” He leaned against the BMW’s hood, with me following suit.
“Happy is… whatever’s working out in my life at the time.”
“That’s not different, it’s the same for everyone, but you don’t just have to wait for life to throw you a bone either. Some things can be fought for and won.”
Could I fight for Chance like I fought for Majestic? Why was he the first thing to come to mind to put my dukes up for now? Should I? Would he even want me to?
“Will I have to swing on someone for Chance like you did for Kat?” I joked, lightening the mood weighed down with questions I can’t answer.
He puffed air out his mouth in a condescending fashion. “Girl, don’t even try swinging on nobody. Your right cross ain’t shit like mine.”
“Do you think that because I’m a girl? Because if you do, I’m offended.”
“No, I think that because I haven’t taught you how to fight and you’re more laidback than anybody I damn know. There’s no way in hell you can fight. Quick lesson: if you have to punch a bitch, which comes in girls and guys, wrapped your thumb tightly around your second and third knuckle, not inside them. When you reach out, keep your arm level with your shoulder, chin down. Make contact with your center knuckle. Never punch someone anywhere on the skull. That includes the forehead in case you didn’t know. Quick way to break your hand. If you knock Chance’s ass out, we never had this conversation. He thinks we’re friends and he’ll feel betrayed when he learns I told you how to beat him up. When there’s a ring on your finger, then he and I will be real friends. Don’t tell him that though. People lov me, and he might use marrying you to get to me. I gotta go before his fam shows up at my business, though. Call me if you need anything.”
I hugged him tightly before he got away. He embraced me back.
“Everything’s going to work out for you, Mahogany. I can feel it.”
“I hope so, Tommy.” But I wasn’t counting on it.
My slice of good luck with Chance had probably fizzled out when Majestic received what she needed from him.
When I released Tommy, he glanced back with a self-satisfied smile as he walked away. I wondered what did he know about Chance that I didn’t, but I wasn’t going to get it out of him if he didn’t want me to. on the other hand, was giving out mixed signals, but if I ever discovered there was a real opportunity for us to reconcile, there definitely was going to be a fight put up to make us a couple again. Still, I had to keep in mind that us being a couple again might not be possible. I’d have to let him go, and it was going to have to be soon too. The more he was around, the more I wished for the things he was tempting me with just by being in touching distance and acting like his old self.
Then you better start weaning yourself off him now, Mahogany. Anymore of him in your bed or against a wall and seeming like the old Chance, and you’re gonna put your dukes anyway. So, I needed to keep my heart and hopes locked down, except both were slippery as shit to handle and had minds of their own.