Chapter Three
~Mahogany~
Chance sounded as if he was putting a curse on me just by saying my name. If that was his intention, it wouldn’t have surprised me any. I’d left a life-altering message on his voicemail after years of being incommunicado, and he couldn’t ever go back to the pleasant reality he once lived in. Having a daughter would always be at the back of his mind now, and I’d put it there.
He leaned forward in his seat to brace his elbows on his knees and commenced with staring not just at me but through me. I was paralyzed like a deer in headlights and mesmerized. That stare could make or break my world. Always could.
“What does oh shit mean, Mommy?” Majestic asked suddenly from behind me, then giggled.
I whipped my head toward her. She was quiet because she was laid back against a mountain of pillows one of the pampering nurses had stuffed there, and eating something that looked like chocolate. It was everywhere. Glad for the distraction from her father’s penetrating glare, I rubbed her arm that was free of tubes but full of melted brown goo that I hoped was chocolate, while wanting to touch her to make sure she was truly awake and I wasn’t dreaming.
“No, baby. Mommy doesn’t want you to say that. Bad words. Where did you get the chocolate from?”
She pointed what was left of the candy at her father, throwing him under the bus real quick. He often carried Hershey bars in his pocket to satisfy his sweet cravings usually brought on by stress, and he should start carrying two bars if he was going to pass one along to Majestic every time her sweet cravings hit, which were nonstop. If he didn’t, he was never going to have enough for the both of them, or get any for that matter.
“Me,” Chance confessed. “When she woke up, Dr. Blane and the nurse was just wheeling in her food. I tried to convince her to eat. She wouldn’t and wanted to wake you, promising she would do it herself if I didn’t. I believed her. We all thought she just wasn’t feeling well and wanted you but you needed to rest. When I went to pick her up, the candy fell out my pocket. She grabbed it up and wouldn’t give it back, promising in a tiny little voice that she would eat just a little bit. She even measured out how much with two fingers pinched tightly together. Suddenly, she was hungry and quiet and too cute. I allowed myself to be played. It was the only way to keep her in the bed and quiet so you could sleep.”
As if he cared how much rest I got.
Maybe he did, but Majestic definitely had him wrapped around her fingers already, as well as the hospital staff, and no wonder she was quiet: she was eating sweets for breakfast.
I’m going to kill Chance as soon as I get him out of this room.
Majestic scrunched up her miniature version of Chance’s nose as if something stunk suddenly. “‘Oh shit’ is bad words, Mommy?” she asked, her wide-eyes clear and glowing like gray flares.
I sighed but grinned and wasn’t fooled by her innocent act. “Yes, do not say ‘oh shit’ again, Majestic, or I’m going to find a time-out bed and put you in it for two minutes. Only adults can say that and you’re nowhere near to being grown, but you know that, little girl, so stop trying to play me like you did Chance.”
She nodded her head in understanding, hated to be alone in anyway unless she was doing something bad, as in eating the candy that was dripping off her chin onto her gown. “You do not say ‘oh shit’ either, Mommy.”
I started laughing and couldn’t stop, deliriously happy in spite of the turmoil Chance was causing within me and the little minx that had gotten one over on everybody even while sick. “I won’t say it again if you don’t, Majestic.” Unless, Chance was the first thing I saw unexpectedly when I opened my eyes again.
“And that time-out bed is just in the other room,” I lied.
Her little head bobbed even faster as she filled her mouth with more chocolate, more than likely to keep the next ‘oh shit’ from tripping off her tongue.
“You do know she completely understands what you’re saying from the jump but being deliberately obtuse so she can keep saying the bad words, right?” Chance piped in.
“Yes, Captain Obvious, I think I just commented as much.”
“Well at least you got something right,” he responded coldly.
The temperature in the room dropped to frosty. I swallowed hard. With my luck, that wouldn’t be the last smart ass comment he made in Majestic’s presence. The devil himself was on a warpath. At this point, I needed to find his good side, by letting him get whatever was on his chest off so he didn’t blow his top on me in front Majestic. That was unacceptable, but his thoughts had to be whirling at a million miles per minute, right along with his anger that he had every right to feel.
“Can I talk to you outside for a minute, Chance?”
“No,” he said simply, swiftly, harshly.
“Ooookay.” So I was going to have to deal with him on his terms, which just made things so much worse: he could be as rigid as a slab of concrete when he wanted to be.
“We’ll talk when Majestic takes her next nap, Mahogany.”
I assumed this was going to be a long conversation that needed some groundwork done on my end before we talked. Locating the nearest boxing ring was the first thing I should do, then a coach to teach me how to box. Chance and I were going to go round for round. He wasn’t going to take it easy on me either.
“In that case, let me get her cleaned up, and then I’ll find Dr. Blane and get his latest prognosis for her.” Then, I was going to go hunt for the west side of Hell for a little while so I’d have a reason to stay out of this room while Chance was in it.
The old Mahogany would’ve climbed in his lap and let the world slip away for a while when things got rough. He was always good at erecting a bubble around me that nothing could past through. Only he was the one I needed to be protected from, and nope, I don’t think he’d create a bubble that he couldn’t get into to get to me.
He huffed air, drawing my attention. “I can give you the report that he gave me about two hours ago. She’s responding to my stem cells faster than he expected with her condition being so far gone as it was. But she’s two, so healing isn’t as much a task for a child’s body as it is for an adult. Dr. Blane also signed off on me giving her the chocolate to keep her still, thinking that she would play with it not eat it, let alone the whole bar. He was concerned about you not getting enough rest too.”
“Dr. Blane would be concerned, but he doesn’t know Majestic as well as I thought he did. She probably smelled the chocolate on you.”
Chance’s forehead furrowed, and I pondered what in the hell was he thinking at that moment.
“Her white blood cell count is also down.” His declaration hit home and the outer edges of my vision went fuzzy.
I’ve waited to hear those words from Dr. Blane since Majestic was first diagnosed with leukemia, and they never came. Ironic that I’m hearing them from the mouth of the man who wanted nothing to do with Majestic before now. Well, I didn’t care where they came from, just that they had finally arrived. Chance had no idea that he’d changed my world in a split second, as he’d done when I met him, then when I left him. But this time, my world was right side up again.
“Thank you,” I mumbled as tears dripped from my chin.
I’m sure I looked a hot mess just waking up, and now, I was crying too. Well, I didn’t give two flips about what I looked like, just that I wasn’t coming apart at the seams anymore but coming back together, and it felt too amazing to not cry.
“Thank me for what, Mahogany?”
“For everything, Chance. For coming through for your daughter. For saying what I’ve wanted to hear for months. For being you.” Being who I never thought he would be, a father.
“Yeah well, you wouldn’t have to thank me if you’d hadn’t done what I’d told you to never do.”
He stood up, with thunder in his face, snatched his suit jacket from the back of the chair and stormed off. I didn’t stop him. His shitty attitude wasn’t going to ruin the mood for me. No sir. I was happy for once and would be basking in this moment. All negative energy was welcomed to get the hell out of my space and fly home if it wanted to.
Majestic’s eyes trailed him out the door, her thin eyebrows bunched together in confusion. Her chocolate factory was getting away.
When he disappeared from the room entirely, she looked to me. “What’s wrong with him, Mommy?”
“He’s mad with me because I was bad, but he’ll be alright because Mommy is happy with you. And you know what? I’m happy with him too, even if he is stubborn. Let’s get you a sponge bath and then I’ll find you some real food to eat.”
She scrunched her nose up at that announcement, preferring the chocolate just like her father. “I am eating.”
“That’s not eating, Majestic, that’s ruining your appetite, and Dr. Blane didn’t really want you to eat it, love.”
“But it’s good.” She held up what was left of the rectangular squares as if she could prove it was good by simply lifting it in the air.
“I’m sure it is good, but don’t get used to eating it for breakfast,” I advised as I began to strip the bed around her. “Eat the little bit left so I can clean you up, munchkin.”
I’d never tell her that I had missed having this argument with her though, and the other little things that Majestic couldn’t do while the chemo treatment sucked her body of energy and the sheer will it took to be bullheaded… like her father. It was amazing how the things that bothered you the most about people are the first things you miss when a loved one was no longer themselves. Chance was certainly not himself. I wondered had he been here all night, watching over Majestic… and maybe me too, something he would’ve done for his loved ones.
“But I’m not his loved one anymore, so it wasn’t you he was worried about,” I muttered as I started to wipe Majestic down with the clean parts of the sheets from the foot of the board, tossing the wrapper for the chocolate in the trashcan.
The door opened at the far end of the room. A middle-aged lady with gray streaks through what was once completely jet-black hair, who can usually be found at the nurses’ station on the first floor, entered in neon pink scrubs, the nurses’ uniform color for the day.
I greeted her. “Hey, Doris.”
“Hi, Mahogany. I came to check on the little tyke and side eye your baby daddy. Girl, that man is panty-dropping fine. Is he here… and what are you doing?”
Majestic had been in and out of here so much just about all the staff knew her and worried about her.
I snickered at Doris—Chance most definitely was panty-dropping fine. Then, I bunched up the sheets at Majestic feet before reaching down beneath the mattress to get clean ones from the storage bin hidden in the bed frame. “Nope, he’s gone. Don’t know when he’ll be back and I’m going to make the bed then give Mahogany a sponge bath. My baby daddy let himself be tricked into giving her chocolate and conned out of feeding her a real breakfast.”
Doris walked forward and waved me off. “Well, honey, sit down. I can do that. You take away my job security when the patients’ parents start cleaning up behind the patients. The big bosses will find out what people are willing to do and make it mandatory, and this patient is too precious to not be spoiled when she’s been so sick. Isn’t that right, baby girl?” she gushed and gently pinched Majestic’s cheeks, who lapped the attention right up, smiling so hard her cheeks should hurt.
“Go find something to eat, Mahogany, or better yet, go find that baby daddy of yours and make another little doll like this one. I got Majestic.”
I dropped the clean sheets on the bed, held up in my hands in peace, and reversed out of Doris’ way. I was beat and knew when to back off, but Majestic was going to be spoiled rotten by everyone that came in contact with her by the time I got her home. And I’d be damned if I seeked out Chance only to get my head bit off for giving birth after he knocked me up. No way in hell I’d let him knock me up again, but I could eat. For the first time in months, my stomach was quietly talking to my back about being neglected.
I kissed Majestic’s forehead before leaving. “I’ll be back, sweetheart. Mommy needs to eat something. I love you.”
“Love you too, Mommy,” she chirped back as Doris hauled her into her arms.
“Doris, if you have candy in your clothes, lock it down tight please.”
She harrumphed. “Will do, Mahogany, and the only thing in these clothes is old-age spread. I’m positive Majestic doesn’t want anything to do with that.”
********
~Chance~
How can you be so angry with someone and want to kiss the living daylights out of them too? I deliberated on that while traveling the length of the display case in the cafeteria, searching for something edible. Nothing looked good besides the sweets that were likely filled with substitute sweeteners that didn’t deserve the name. If you’re going to eat sweets, dammit, they should actually be tooth-decaying good, not semi-sweet and good for you.
I’m going to have to go out to find my family something to eat that we can all be happy with.
Time stood still as what I had just did hit me: I’d thought ‘my family’ automatically, and it felt right. Being responsible for two more lives now felt good. Better than I thought it would with the cursed blood I carried, which just made Majestic that much more special to me. She was here now and I wouldn’t change that for nothing. She should be taken care of by the man who wanted the best for her, too. Even if the best was hurtful to me, like letting her mother go. That didn’t work out so well for me the first time I tried it tough, and I didn’t know if I could let her leave me again. Still wanted her with every damn part of me. The tent emerging at the zipper of my pants demanded that I have her and soon.
I hung my coat from my arm in front of my crotch, reaching the end of the display case and coming away empty-handed. As I rotated around to question the nearest person about the closest restaurant that served soup, my head was listing things I needed to do for my family. It was hard not to wake Mahogany up when I came back last night. She had to be worn out after chasing after me and going through Majestic’s illness alone. At least, I think she handled it alone. She and Dr. Blane seem to have a connection, and no, I did not like it.
When I found her passed out halfway in, halfway out of her chair, any idiot could’ve guessed that she was more than tired. I didn’t have the heart to move her or blast her for breaking the one commandment I set in our relationship, but I wanted to every time I looked at Majestic sick and small, dwarfed by the bed and tubes surrounding her. That caused me to agonize over my little girl who I’d known for only a few hours. Meeting her just before I could’ve lost her was gut-wrenching and she already had my heart in her little hands.
All night, I nodded off in my chair only to jerk awake fifteen minutes later to check on them both. It was a waste of time to leave for a few hours yesterday, buying necessities that I didn’t stop to pack in Fredrickson, and reserving a room at the Powers Royal Resort ten miles away when I spent the night here anyway. Couldn’t leave them here alone. Now, I looked like yesterday, wanted a shower badly. One with Mahogany. I was going to get it too. That woman could make a bath oh-so-fun.
Food first, Chance. However, I didn’t know a damn thing about Arrow or where to find something to eat besides the cafeteria. Wasn’t looking forward to driving around aimlessly either.
I spotted then approached a table where a woman in pink scrubs talked to an older man in a lab coat with gray dotting his temple. “Excuse me, is a there a place here that I can find soup that doesn’t taste like colored water?”
After the candy incident, I wasn’t going to let Majestic con me again or risk Mahogany blasting into my ass for letting our daughter get me twice. Soft-spoken Mahogany had her limits with screw-ups, usually giving only one.
The man and woman I approached both looked up, the nurse laughing. “This is who I was telling you about, Dr. Sinclair. This morning, Majestic’s father got a taste of what all she’s willing to do to get chocolate. You can find whatever you want at Tommy’s Cuisine, Mr. Middleton. It’s close by. If Tommy doesn’t have what you want on the menu for today, he’ll cook it anyway, at any time of the day, as long as you’re paying. And it’s the best food. Ohhh, so good,” she moaned and flopped back in her chair as if she was imagining taking in a mouthful of something delicious right then.
‘The best food’ sounded good, but ‘close by’ sounded even better.
“My name and my screw-up has gotten around I see, and I like this Tommy already, nurse. Thank you.”
She didn’t even stop the daydreaming to acknowledge my gratitude.
Okay then. I spun around to Mahogany walking through the doorway of the cafeteria. When her eyes fell on me, she did her own spinning around to go back the way she came. I could practically see the ‘oh shit’ running through her mind. She didn’t get to run from me again.
Jogging between the tables into the hallway she was dashing down to parts unknown brought her in my grabbing-distance in seconds. She glimpsed back just as I caught her by the waist, planted my feet on the tile, and pulled her between my widespread legs. Her back collided with my chest.
A muted ‘oomph’ expelled from her, along with a breathless, “Chance, what are you doing?”
“Stopping this pattern of yours before it’s set,” I spewed in her ear, wrapping my arms around her to keep her from getting away. “Stop running from me, Mahogany. We need to talk.”
The cozy fit of our bodies was enough to drive me mad. I forgot why I chased her down in the first place, remembering why I once thought this woman was made for me. The things we had done as a couple were marvelous, sweaty, messy things I’d like to repeat right here in the hallway, but I settled for bending my head and breathing in her essence near her ear.
“Chance!” she gasped as if my breath on her skin had electrocuted her, then pushed at my arms locked tight around her.
“You’re not getting away, Mahogany, so stop trying.”
She went slack against me. “Can I eat first before you go up one side of me and down the other about getting pregnant on accident?”
It may have been an accident, which I’m still not sure how it happened, but she had other wrongs to right too. “That’s not all you did, Mahogany, and you know it. I’m going to Tommy’s Cuisine and—”
“No!” She wheeled around in my arms so fast she should’ve been dizzy. She had to catch her balance by grasping both of my shoulders.
I began to think something was wrong with her.
“You don’t want to go there,” she said hurriedly, as if she was afraid of the place.
“Why not? The nurse said his restaurant was close by and made him seem very accommodating.”
She closed one eye then inhaled and held her breath. “Tommy doesn’t like you much, Chance.”
That took me aback. “What? He doesn’t even know me.” And it was never good to make enemies that you can’t identify before they spot you.
“He knows of you because I work at Tommy’s Cuisine and he’s my boss.”
“I get it now. What did you say to him about me?”
She pinched up her eyes, nose lifted in the air, then she groaned out, “The truth.” Those words sounded ominous with the way she released them.
Tommy was going to spit in my food for sure.
“You mean you told him your truth, Mahogany.”
“Well, yeah, because I was the one left holding the baby, remember?” Her truth shouldn’t be the only truth that counted to her.
“Wrong, you left me while withholding the baby’s existence from me. There’s a difference.”
“Can we agree to disagree then?”
“No.”
Tommy had gotten her truth and now, he would get mine. If she’d opened up to him about what was going on in her life, then he meant something to her, so his opinion counted with her therefore me. She wasn’t the most talkative person in the world, so when Mahogany started a conversation, it was for a damn good reason. For now on, when she wanted to discuss something with me, I wouldn’t shut down no matter how painful the subject was. They all seemed to be painful when concerning her lately. All the more reason to get her out of my heart. And my system. Starting now.
“Let’s go, Mahogany.” I stepped back to stretch my hand out to her, not trusting her to run the other way again before we got to my rental car.
She frowned down at the hand reaching for her. “Go where?”
“Jesus, Mahogany! I’m not taking you to the woods to make you disappear. We’re going to check on Majestic and let Dr. Blane know we’ll be gone for about an hour. I need a shower and a change of clothes. So do you. I can drop you off at your place to get something to wear. We’ll go to my room at the resort to bathe and save me from having to pick you up before we go to the restaurant.” Where I’ll speak with Tommy.
It’s only fair he got my side and learned that I’m not such a bad guy, most times. Mahogany was not going to feel that way once I was done with her though.
She swiped at her forehead wearily. “If you really want to do this, we can call in our order while we find Dr. Blane. That saves time too.”
“Even better, and I really want to do this, feel like I have to explain myself so my food will be spit-free while I’m in Colorado, so let’s go. And we’re still going to have that talk.”
I wiggled my fingers at her.
She slowly reached for them, dragging her phone out her back pocket with her empty hand. “By the way, Tommy wouldn’t spit in any food. He thinks every dish he creates is a temple to be worshipped. He will cuss you out however, so be ready for that.”
“Got it.”
This should be about as pleasant as getting a tooth pulled.