Chapter Thirteen

Reagan

 

Somehow, Cassidy managed not to get us killed or kicked out after her escapade.

To my great relief, the horse was okay, too. A little spooked and overheated, though.

Slung over Luke’s back, I’d been carried most of the way back to Cobalt, the shifter soaked with sweat and almost vibrating underneath me.

I’d been too tired and hungry to notice, my head lolling on his shoulder and my eyes falling shut. Tristan and Rett had flanked Cassidy, while Kal stayed behind to investigate. In fact, I may have napped or passed out again, because suddenly we were at a small outpost, getting a snack and water.

Afterward, feeling a million times better, we walked back to Cobalt. Only then did I realize that this interlude had not cracked the ice in the air between us. If anything, it had thickened it.

If I’d thought he was pissed last night, now he wouldn’t even look at me.

Yet I couldn’t stop myself from replaying that moment in the woods over and over.

Never do that again. Never.

I could still feel each one of his ten fingers pressing into my arms and see the look in his eyes.

Finally, we reached the settlement. Rett and Tristan left us there, waving off my thanks and saying goodnight. Luke was silent as we continued to my family’s house. I wondered if I’d be staying there soon. The thought honestly depressed me. I liked having my own space at Luke’s.

And maybe I’d miss him a little, grumpiness, stupid jokes, and all.

But my family’s deep relief and joyful homecoming more than made up for it. They hustled Cassidy inside, relieved, happy, and almost in tears. Linh and Shelby pulled me aside to say that Fallon had already arranged for Cassidy to meet with someone to find her a better placement. Maybe working with healers or something.

I nodded and tried to smile. In the meantime, though, I was wondering what Cassidy had cost me. Luke hadn’t come in. I thought he’d gone home.

Then I found him skulking in the shadows down the road. With each step, the silence deepened between us. I didn’t know if I should apologize, but that seemed absurd. My sister had been in danger. Maybe I’d been reckless, but it had been the right thing to do.

So, I decided to take the high road and let him be. Even though I could think of a thousand ways of needling him and making him melt off that ice, I ignored him.

At the house, I went to my room, took a shower, and calmly got dressed. But my hands shook the whole time, and I kept listening for a knock.

I jumped when I heard a distant smash.

Running into the living room, I heard another smash from behind the office door, and the striding of heavy feet. They paused, and there was another smash.

Was this idiot throwing things around his office?

Rolling my eyes, I went into the kitchen, grabbing the broom and dustpan. Marching back, I didn't bother to knock on his office door, but just went in.

The first thing I saw were several shattered items at the base of the far wall.

The second thing I saw was Luke, his shoulders heaving and his body taut. He picked up a mug and hurled it. I jumped again as it exploded against the wall, raining down fine dust.

“Luke,” I burst out. “Stop it.”

“Get out,” he snarled.

“Stop it,” I repeated.

“No,” he growled. “I need to let off some damn steam. I can’t think straight around you. I can’t even handle what you’re doing to me.” He gulped for air. “Reagan, do you know what would have happened if I’d been even a minute later? You wouldn’t be breathing right now.”

“Well, I’m grateful you got there in time, then,” I said. “Thank you.”

Luke laughed, picked up plate, and hurled it. “Not accepted. You need to leave.”

“I’m not going to let you destroy the nice things in here because you’re mad at me.”

“I’m not mad at you.”

“Okay, you’re pissed at me.” Luke let out a bitter laugh, and it went straight through my heart. “Raging. You want me to apologize, but I won’t.” He turned in a slow circle, and his eyes glittered with sea-green storms. “I had to go after her.”

Luke’s face became pained, and he groaned. “Do you know what those things were?”

“What did you call them?” I asked. “Rotted? An Excris, I assume. I’ve heard rumors.”

“Those were some of the most dangerous creatures that haunt the woods. The Rotted would gut you, drink your blood, and revel in your screams as you slowly died,” he said, and I pulled in a breath. “And that’s only because you’re human. With shifters, if they can get a hold of them…”

There was a long silence, and horror crinkled under my skin as I waited for him to speak again. He didn’t, and I swallowed hard, wondering what was so terrible that Luke wouldn’t tell me.

“If I hadn’t gone,” I said finally, “I don’t think anyone would have gotten to Cassidy in time. You only came running because of me.”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Luke growled.

You didn’t tell Cassidy not to do that ever again, I thought, but bit my tongue.

“We’re friends. You were worried. I appreciate that.”

"Reagan," Luke said with a laugh and closed his eyes. "Sure, you're my friend, but do you know what would happen if someone was murdered by a Rotted in Winfyre? It weakens our borders, sows fear among the civilians, and takes a toll on our patrols. I did it for our home as much as I did it for you."

“And I did it for my sister.”

“Forget it,” he said and turned away.

“Luke, listen, I’d do it again, but I am sorry for the pain I’ve caused you.” His shoulders went tight. I noticed he was still a sweating and dirty mess. “Why don’t you go take a shower? I’ll clean up and make dinner—”

"Claiming you was a mistake," Luke interrupted. "In fact, I'm starting to wonder if letting you in was a mistake. You and your damn sister both causing all these problems. You last week with that thing, and then her running off. Things are tenuous as it is."

My heart began to pound, and I tried to arrange my face in a neutral position. But my anger burned in a cool flame. I knew I hadn’t been kicked out. He was only saying those things to rile me. Needing something to do, I went over to the mess he’d created and began to sweep it into a pile.

“Leave it,” he snarled.

“This is a hazard. Someone could cut their foot or hand open.” Probably you, you idiot.

“Rea,” Luke started to say. “Will you—”

“Let me clean it.”

The first crack in my temper appeared. My voice hadn’t been cool, but shrill and panicked. I kept my head down, and tears hovered at the edges of my eyelids.

“This isn’t part of your job,” Luke said quietly. “I should pick it up—that’s all I meant.”

“It wouldn’t be broken if it wasn’t for me,” I said, and guilt snapped through my voice.

For a second, I thought Luke was going to say something, but instead, he left. I finished cleaning and threw it all out. I was tempted to make him dinner, but I wasn’t a damn housewife. Even though I liked cooking, I pulled out a PowerBar and ate that for dinner in protest.

Sitting down on the couch, I tipped my head back and closed my eyes.

Then I froze when I heard a crash.

Not this shit again!

In another second, I was racing upstairs and into a room near the bathroom. I caught a glimpse of bookshelves and a chair, then Luke’s piercing gaze.

“What are you doing?” he asked in a cold and furious voice.

“I heard—I thought you fell,” I said stupidly.

“Knocked over a chair,” he said, bending down and righting it. “Somethin’ I can help you with, Grace? Want to take a few more years off my life?”

With a sigh, rubbing my forehead, I burst out, “Stop throwing a tantrum. I made a mistake. No one died, and I understand why you’re upset, but there’s no reason to—”

“No reason?” Luke asked, and his voice cracked. I flinched. “Reagan, you and your sister almost died horrific and painful deaths today. You’re supposed to be under my watch. Your sister is supposed to be safe within Winfyre. None of those things were true.” He gripped the back of the chair and glared at me. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d ask you if you were stupid, not impulsive.”

The words cut deep, and I looked away.

“I mean, maybe you are,” Luke said. “Maybe that’s why you’re not afraid.”

Now I flinched, and a few tears got free. After I’d wiped them away, I forced my gaze up.

And froze.

Luke’s knees were buckling, then he hit the ground and pressed his hands into it.

A man at the far edges of his limits.

“Go,” he whispered.

Yet I didn’t move. All of my instincts told me to go—but to him.

Luke sank back onto his heels and held his head in his hands.

“Please, Reagan, go.”

I left.