Chapter 28
Morgan
“Do you need me to wash anything else?” Mom asks from the doorway.
“Uh, no. I think I have everything I need to pack.”
“Okay, then.”
She lingers, watching me fold things and stuff them in my huge hiking backpack.
“Is Nate already on his way?” she asks.
“Yes. He’ll be here shortly.”
“Are you sure his family is okay with him travelling on Christmas Day?”
“Yes, Mom. They open presents and do family time on Christmas Eve. He spent this morning with his family and left a couple of hours ago to get here early enough so he could spend time with us. Plus, this way we can take our time tomorrow and have dinner with his uncle in Indy.”
We also specifically planned it this way so he could meet my family and so they could get to know him a little. They’ll have to get used to the idea of me with “someone who isn’t Alex.” Nate’s words, not mine.
Mom’s been a little weird about it, but to her I just got out of a five-year relationship. I did my best to convince her that I had emotionally checked out of that relationship over a year ago. She said she accepted it, but I know she worries. It’s what moms do.
Mom nods and walks back downstairs. I finish up as much as I can. There are a couple of things, like my toothbrush and other personal items, that I won’t pack until tomorrow.
I zip it shut and hear the doorbell ring. Oh, good. I’ve been running low on my Nate-fix. I fly down the stairs to grab the door, but my parents have already opened it. Together. Standing shoulder-to-shoulder like a wall blocking his entry.
I don’t hear what anyone says, but mom turns and heads towards the kitchen with a bouquet of flowers in her arms.
Nate steps in and shakes hands with my father. I hang back, allowing them to finish whatever man-talk they may be having.
Eventually, Dad notices me and smiles. Looks like Nate’s gotten a passing score.
“Excuse me, Sir,” Nate says to my father. He’s in front of me in three quick strides.
He hugs me and kisses my cheek. I had wondered if he would be brave enough to plant one on my lips in front of my parents. I see that he’s not going to do anything to rock this boat.
“Come on, let’s get you fed,” I take his hand and walk him into the kitchen.
My mom is standing there, one hand covering her mouth, the other holding her cell phone. Her eyes are troubled as they move to mine.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“Alex,” she murmurs.
The tight knot of worry and anxiety that had disappeared the past month is suddenly back, punching its way through my chest cavity. This is bad. I know whatever she’s about to say will be truly awful.
Nate puts his hand on my back, reminding me that I’m not alone. That he’s here. That I can lean on him.
“What about Alex?” my father prompts.
“He tried to kill himself.”
The weight that had been on my shoulders, that I thought I had pushed away, comes crashing down on me.
My legs buckle and Nate grabs me. My body shakes as the panic slashes through my extremities, destroying any strength I thought I’d restored. Nate doesn’t let me fall.
The four of us stand there, silent. Oh, god. What have I done?
***
The walk to the hospital room feels like a death march. I’ve earned whatever grief Agnes throws at me. I should have waited longer.
My parents walk ahead of us and Nate grabs my arm, stopping me.
“This is not your fault, Morgan.”
“How can you say that?”
“Morgan. You. Did. Not. Do. This.”
“Please, don’t. Not right now, okay?” I can’t handle his strength. I don’t deserve it.
Nate sighs and pulls me close.
“Okay.”
He takes my hand and walks me the rest of the way. Alex’s parents are at the end of the hall, talking to a doctor. Their backs are to me, so they don’t know I’m here. Thank heavens for small mercies.
My parents decide to wait in the hall. Nate tells me he’ll wait with them. I nod and push the door open.
Alex is sitting up, flipping through channels on the television. Darryl is sitting next to him, laughing about something.
What in god’s name? This is not at all what I expected to walk into. Darryl’s here. Being a friend. Acting like a friend to the man in the hospital bed. The one who looks like he’s enjoying his evening, who allegedly attempted to off himself hours ago.
When the door clicks shut, they both look up.
“Are you shitting me?” Alex groans, rubbing a hand through his hair.
My mouth is hanging open. First, I witness laughing with Darryl, now he’s cussing at me?
“Excuse me?” I squeak out.
“Did Mom call you? I cannot believe her.”
Darryl stands. “I’ll give you two some privacy.”
He exits, a small smile on his face. I’m tempted to clothes-line him, but I don’t. I probably shouldn’t kill Alex’s only friend, as tenuous as that friendship may be.
“Alex, what’s going on? Agnes called my mom and told her you tried to kill yourself.”
He laughs. He fucking laughs.
“Of course, she did.”
He’s shaking his head, eyes on the ceiling. Interesting. Is Alex finally standing up to Mommy?
“I’m sorry, Morgan. But my mom has … issues. I’ve told you how overbearing she can be. I don’t know if you understand what a control freak she is. She about lost it after you left brunch that day.”
I grimace. Alex seemed okay when I left. Why would his mom be so upset? It’s not like she particularly likes me.
“I’m sorry about that, by the way. I shouldn’t let her push me into things like I do. Now she’s gone off the deep end.”
He lowers his eyes to mine. “But I can assure you that I did not try to kill myself.”
I shake my head at the ridiculousness of this moment, stunned, as I slowly lower myself into the seat Daryl vacated. At least confusion has replaced the guilt.
“What happened?”
“I was fishing, at the dock on the big pond. I had taken some of my pain killers, as I do whenever my pain flares up. Darryl joined me and brought beer.”
“O-kay …”
“You can’t drink on these meds. I didn’t realize when the doc said to not drink that he really meant drinking would make me so blitzed I literally wouldn’t know up from down. I fell off the dock and into the water. It was freezing and I had a hell of time getting back out. Thankfully, Darryl was there.”
“Jesus, Alex. You could have died.”
“No shit, Morgan. But I didn’t do it on purpose. Mom has it in her head that the proposal-gone-wrong messed me up so bad that I tried to off myself by downing a bottle of pills with alcohol. I didn’t even have a bottle of pills left.”
“How many did you take?”
“One!”
We stare at each other, with my mouth still hanging open. Alex’s mouth twitches and suddenly we’re both laughing hysterically. I put my hand on his bed to keep from falling out of the chair.
“What the hell is going on in here?” Agnes storms in. Whoa. She must be pissed if she’s using such language.
I wipe my eyes and pat Alex’s arm. “Just visiting, making sure he’s alright. Don’t worry, I’ll go.”
I stand and walk to the door, which Agnes forgot to close. Quicker than I thought possible, she moves and grabs my arm, spinning me to face her.
She points her finger in my face, rage emitting from her pores. I recoil, thinking she might take a swing.
“Mom, don’t,” Alex pleads. I guess our happy moment is over.
“You did this to my son! You ruined him! And now he’s tried to kill himself over your inability to care about anyone other than yourself!”
I feel warmth beside me. Without looking, I know it’s Nate. I don’t know how I know, but I’m positive it’s him.
A hand presses reassuringly to my back. He’ll fight this fight if I want him to, but he’s offering me the strength I need to fight it myself.
“Back up, you soggy lampshade,” I growl, staring at her pointed finger.
Alex snickers and covers his mouth. I bet no one has ever spoken to Agnes like this before. He always said she was overbearing, but this is beyond absurd.
“Now you listen and you listen good, Agnes Sanford. I am not responsible for the actions of your son. Whatever choices he makes are his own. Having said that, Alex has assured me he wasn’t trying to end his life over some jilted lover despair. He’s not in love with me. And he’s most certainly not interested in marrying me. Right, Alex?”
“Right!” he agrees enthusiastically. He’s seemingly enjoying the shit show we’re putting on.
“Maybe, for once in your life, you should listen to your son. Right, Alex?”
“Right!” he yells. I hope his reaction is being influenced because he’s medicated.
“Do not pull us into your family drama again.”
I look over Agnes’s shoulder at Alex. “Later, Alex. Glad you’re okay.”
“Later, Morgan.”
I keep my eyes on Agnes, afraid she’ll react physically to my diatribe. I’d hate to have to beat up a fifty-year-old woman. I take a step back, pivot, and smack my face right on the door frame. Fucking-A, Universe. That’s twice now! Can I ever catch a break?
Alex is laughing so hard he can’t breathe. “Oh, Morgan. Thank you. Seriously. Thank you. Please visit again.”
I flip him off behind my head and walk through the doorway. I expect my parents to chastise me, but they’re both trying hard not to laugh.
Alex’s dad winks at me and I do a double take. Poor guy. He’s probably just as oppressed as Alex.
Behind me, I hear my mother whisper to my father, “What’s a soggy lampshade?”
Nate
Once we’re far enough away from the room, I lose it. I was so proud of her for finally—finally—sticking up for herself.
Then she face-plants against the wall. It’s so her and I wouldn’t change it for anything, even the punch she just landed on my shoulder for laughing about it.
Damn, she hits hard. I can’t wait to get her naked again.