Sarah
Rushing away like the coward I am, I push my way through my fellow Extrinsic members. Everyone’s gathered to see the group that just got back from a month long mission and I made the mistake of thinking that maybe, just maybe, Blake and I could talk about what happened.
I thought maybe we could make up and that things wouldn’t be awkward between us, but I was wrong.
I was so, so wrong.
He was with Lizzie. Oh, I know Lizzie. She hates my guts because I once gave her stitches when we were out of healing salve. She has a scar from the stitches. Despite my even stitches and steady hand, the wound left a mark when it healed, and Lizzie hates having marks on her body.
Why she went into a universal crime-fighting and general bad-assery sort of group, I’ll never know.
But she’s here, and he’s here, and now they’re here together.
Apparently.
I don’t want to know.
Somehow, I manage to make it back to my living unit and I throw myself inside the room. The door slides shut behind me.
“Lock,” I say aloud. “And don’t let anybody in,” I add. “Not a single person.”
“Would you like me to prohibit your pre-approved guests from entering?” The light, robotic voice is much too loud in my silent apartment.
“Yes,” I manage to get out, and then I climb onto my bed and I begin to cry.
Lizzie.
Lizzie and Blake.
When did this happen? How long has he loved her? How come I didn’t know they were going to fall in love? Obviously, they’ve been together: intimate, even. He knows her in a way he’s never going to know me, and the sooner I can forget about Blake, the better off I’m going to be.
My heart feels like it’s breaking, and I cry and cry and cry.
I cry until I’m exhausted, and then darkness overtakes me.
***
“Sarah? Are you okay?” A soft, feminine voice wakes me, and I groan into my pillow.
“How did you get in here?” I groan. “I locked everyone out.”
“I may have gone to Max and asked him for help breaking into your place,” Diana says sheepishly. “He’s in the living room.”
Rolling over, I look up at my friend. She grimaces. I must look like hell.
“What are you doing here, Diana? Not that I’m not happy to see you, but, well, I kind of just want to be alone right now.”
“That’s what I thought,” she says, taking a seat next to me. “But sometimes when we most want to be alone, that’s really the last thing we need.”
“I’m guessing you saw them.” There’s no point in beating around the bush. Diana and I spend a lot of time together. She, along with her little boy, Kenny, hung out with me every day while Blake and Max were away. Now her man is back, but mine isn’t.
Not that he was ever really mine to begin with, anyway.
“I saw Blake being a huge dickhead,” Diana confirms. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“He’s an idiot.”
“Maybe not,” I sigh, shaking my head. “Look, he made his opinion of me very clear, Diana. I just…”
“You just thought he wasn’t that bad.”
“I guess I thought maybe I misunderstood,” I shake my head. “He told me no, and then he left for the mission the next day. We didn’t get a chance to talk about it, so I thought that maybe when he got back, we could.”
“Right,” she nods. “You thought that the two of you would be able to have a reasonable discussion about your relationship and how you could move forward as friends or lovers.”
“Now we aren’t even that,” I sigh. “I ruined it all with that stupid kiss.”
“Now that’s simply not true,” Max steps into the bedroom, baby on hip. Little Kenny squeals and touches his daddy’s face as Max looks at me. “This isn’t your fault, Sarah. Don’t go thinking that it is.”
Max and I go way back. He’s from Orchid, too, and he’s known Blake just as long as I have. The three of us have been friends for so long that something this big just feels surreal. The way Blake looked at me when he saw me…it was like he thought I was pathetic.
And it made me feel pathetic.
Somehow, while he was gone, I poured myself into work and spending time with Diana. I managed to make myself believe that I was over-exaggerating the issue, that I was reading too much into things. I made myself think that when he came back, we go back to how it was before: just me and him. I made myself think we’d be able to be friends.
I was wrong.
I was so, so wrong.
“No offense, Max,” I shake my head. “But you don’t really know what you’re talking about.”
“I’m pretty sure I’m talking about the fact that you kissed Blake and he freaked out. Then he left for a mission before the two of you could resolve anything, and now he’s got a new girlfriend.”
My jaw hits the floor.
“Did I leave anything out?”
“I…um…no,” I squeak out. “He told you all of that?”
“Blake is a brother to me, Sarah, and you’re a sister. I would do anything for both of you, but right now, Blake is being a real piece of shit.”
“Max!” Diana says, her eyes going wide. “That’s no way to talk about your best friend!”
“It is when he’s being a real piece of shit,” Max says sadly, shaking his head. “I can’t tell you what to do, Sarah. Only you can decide what’s best for yourself, but I can tell you that Blake is making a huge mistake. He doesn’t love her.”
“He doesn’t love me, either,” I say sadly. “At least he’s chosen to be with someone who makes him happy,” I add, but I don’t really mean it. Judging by the looks Diana and Max both give me, they don’t believe it for a second.