CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Sarah
I’ve radically cut back my hours at the restaurant. Stan actually seemed a little sad when I told him last week. My paid internship starts today and between that and school, I’ll only be able to go the restaurant a couple of half shifts each week. I’ll probably quit altogether pretty soon, but for now I want to hold on to it as a little extra security. Who knows what my internship will be like?
But I’m about to find out one way or another. Today is my first day at my new job and I’m so excited. Because I didn’t want to risk being late, I have Vorek drop me off ridiculously early. I’m determined to make a good first impression, so much so that I changed my outfit three times.
I’m sitting in the lobby of one of the taller buildings that makes up the Peoria skyline. I’ve ridden by here many times on the bus, and I’ve always wondered what kind of business goes on in these mammoth structures. I sit quietly for about thirty minutes and watch people come and go through the revolving door and speculate about what all of these people are doing here. I’ve always enjoyed people watching, so even though I’m early the time doesn’t drag.
I glance at my watch and see it’s only half an hour until my appointment, so I decide to visit the restroom and make my way up the elevator to the top floor. I take a small sip from the water fountain, careful not to splash any on my pretty new suit. Taking a deep breath, I open the door to the office suite that says Green Earth Enterprises on the door. A picture of the earth is painted on the glass door in pretty blues and greens. I have no idea what this company does, but the name sounds promising.
Making my way over to the receptionist’s desk, I paste a nervous smile on my face and introduce myself. She seems nice, and offers me coffee, tea, or water while I wait. I decline all beverages because I’m too nervous to drink anything. I’m just slightly early by this point, so I settle into the comfortable chair for more waiting. It’s ten minutes past my appointment time when the receptionist calls me up to her desk.
She opens another door and ushers me into a spacious hallway. She walks with me, taking so many twists and turns that I struggle to commit them all to memory. Getting lost on my first day would be seriously lame.
“You can wait here. He’ll be right in with you,” she informs me before leaving to go back the way she came.
As I wonder who ‘he’ is, I sit in one of the twelve chairs . . . and wait. After another fifteen minutes roll by I’m starting to get a tad bit anxious. The room has a large window, so I stand up and look out at the street below. The people on the sidewalk look like tiny little wind-up toys from all the way up here. I’m startled when I hear the door open and spin away from the window, for some reason feeling guilty that I’m not sitting and waiting in a chair like a normal person.
Vorek walks into the conference room with a cheesy smile on his face.
“Vorek. You can’t be here. I told you I’d call you when I’m done. What are you thinking? You’re going to get me fired on my very first day.” I’m attempting to push him back towards the door, but he isn’t budging an inch.
“Sorry I kept you waiting, Sarah. Something came up.”
“Just leave!” I whisper frantically. “I can’t afford to lose my scholarship.” There’s something strange about his words, but I don’t have time to figure it out right now.
“I wouldn’t worry about that.”
“Of course, I’m worried. Go. Get out now,” I shoo him toward the door. “My new boss will be here any second.”
“I’m not sure exactly how to break this to you, so I’ll just come right out with it. I am your new boss,” he says with a smile.
“Ha, Ha. Very funny. Now beat it or I’m never sleeping with you again!”
I open the door, checking to see if anyone is in the hallway, then I try pulling on his arm while leaning back but that doesn’t work any better than the whole shoving debacle. He turns toward me, picks me up and sets me back inside the room, and promptly closes the door. Pulling out a chair from the table, he beckons for me to sit down, and takes the seat next to mine.
“Vorek! You are driving me insane!” My eyes dart toward the door nervously.
“Sarah,” he says patiently. “I am your employer. I’m not joking.”
“What?” I ask in utter confusion.
“Green Earth Enterprises is my company, and you are my new student intern.”
“But . . .” My eyes dart side to side as I try to take this in. “My scholarship . . . my internship. Green Earth Enterprises . . . it’s all you? You gave me the money I needed to stay in school as long as I came to work for you?”
“Yes, that’s right,” he says, glad I seem to have finally figured it all out.
“You are despicable!” I shout as I stand up and shove my chair backwards. I storm toward the door, and he grabs my arm.
“Let go of me!” I shout.
“Sarah, keep your voice down.”
“Then keep your filthy hands off of me!”
“What is your problem? I thought you’d be pleased to spend every day with me.”
“I do spend every day with you, but by choice, not because you have tricked or coerced me into it!”
“You are taking this all entirely wrong,” he argues, and I’m glad to see he’s starting to lose the cool facade. I shouldn’t be the only one pissed off here.
“Oh and how am I taking this wrong? Enlighten me, oh superior being.”
“I just thought, well I mean I knew about your circumstances, and I . . .” he rambled.
“If that was supposed to explain anything, you’ll need to try again.” I’ve never seen Vorek so flustered or at a loss for words before. He’s definitely getting riled up. Good! So am I.
“What I was trying to say was that I knew you were behind in your student loan payments. I saw you working around the clock, but you still weren’t making enough to pay your bills. I knew how important your education was to you, and I didn’t want you to lose that opportunity.”
“So?”
“So, I took care of it.”
“Just like that?” I ask sarcastically.
“Yes,” he says hesitantly, sensing I’m still very, very mad.
“You took care of it?”
“Yes, that’s right. I did what needed to be done so that you could stay in school. I knew this was just a misunderstanding.”
“Oh, it’s a misunderstanding all right. You thought I wasn’t capable of taking care of myself. So what, is my degree just payment for services rendered? Couldn’t find a whore among your own kind so you had to settle for me?” I’d never felt so betrayed in all my life, or so used.
“Sarah,” he says exasperated. “You know I don’t think of you like that. I love you,” he blurts out, and there’s no way I can believe the sentiment because the timing is suspicious as hell. He tacs on desperately, “I’m just helping you realize your dreams.”
“Because I’ve always dreamed of working for a company I know nothing about,” I mutter sarcastically.
He steps toward me and puppy dog eyes have nothing on his. He reaches for me, looking all cute and adorable, hoping to bring me into submission with his voodoo alien sexiness. But I’m not buying it this time. I’ve had enough of his lies. I guess I was right all along. It’s the losers who stick around, he’d just been better at masking his true nature.
“Get out of my way. I’m leaving,” I hiss.
“You can’t go,” he blurts out, looking crestfallen.
“I can do anything I want. I’m a free person, something you don’t seem to realize.”
“Sarah, you are twisting my words. Of course I would never force you to do anything. What I mean is I had a big day planned. I was going to show you what I do here, and what your duties will be as my intern at Green Earth Enterprises. I have a staff meeting scheduled for this afternoon so you can meet everyone.”
“Please,” he says and opens his arms wide stepping toward me. “I love you,” he repeats, like perhaps I didn’t hear him the first time.
“Let me spell it out nice and clear for you,” I seethe. “In words that even an alien like you can understand. My love can’t be bought, and it can’t be forced. It can only be given freely. I don’t ever want to see you again.” I choke on the last few words, but I can’t cave.
I will not allow him to dominate me. I will never be another man’s slave. Sure, Vorek chooses to get his way with smiles and gifts, but I can see now that he’s been systematically stripping away my freedom from the moment he first decided that he wanted me.
Through blurry eyes, I walk over to the exit and pull the door to the conference room open for a brief second before I slam it shut behind me. As I scurry towards the front area, I pass desks where people are working, doing my best to not make any wrong turns. But of course no one is actually working. They’re all staring at the stupid college intern that just had a shouting match with their boss in the conference room.
I don’t meet anyone’s eyes. Holding my head high I stride out of the building. I’m determined to put as much distance between the two of us as humanly possible. How could I have actually thought I was falling in love with him? I should have known his charming facade was just an act. He was bound to show his true nature eventually. He was just as cruel and domineering as the cult leaders. Were all men evil?
I get on the first bus that pulls up. I don’t even bother looking to see which number it is or where it’s going. All I know is that I need to get as far away from Vorek as possible. I sit in the very back seat, where hopefully no one will bother me.
After the bus pulls out of the stop, I spin around in my seat to be sure he’s not following in his fancy sports car. Once I’m certain he’s not stalking me, I lower my forehead onto my hands, and let the protective curtain of hair fall over my face. The tears pour silently down onto my lap, leaving ugly dark splotches on the light gray material of my new business suit.
The fact that Vorek bought it for me to wear on my first day at my new job makes me want to tear it off of my body. The joy and excitement that I felt this morning transformed first into anger, but now it’s wrapping me in a shroud of dark despair. I’d say I hate him, but I don’t know if that’s possible because part of me still wants him to comfort me even though he’s the reason I’m so damned upset.
What should I do with myself? I don’t exactly have anywhere I need to be right now. I wasn’t scheduled at the restaurant because I thought I’d be at my new job all day. I don’t want to go to the apartment, because that’s likely the first place he’ll try to look for me.
So, I ride on the bus, not even paying much attention to where it goes. I’m pretty sure it’s going in a loop, and the driver is starting to give me weird looks. My phone rings, but I ignore it. I’m not about to give him a chance to lie to me in order to suck me back into his web of deception.
I consider my situation and briefly wonder if maybe I’m overreacting. But no, somehow I don’t think I am. What he did was unacceptable. It’s pretty hard not to compare my present drama with my mother’s colorful dating history. I remember how infatuated mom always was with the new man in her life. She’d be so eager to please them, changing everything from her hair color to her exercise habits to keep them happy.
As time passed, the men always revealed their true colors. At best they were lazy, at worst they were domineering and cruel. I know the sad pattern of dating scum all too well. My mother has allowed me to witness the tragedy over and over. But unlike her, I refuse to allow myself to fall victim to the abusive cycle.
Vorek’s charming ways may have had me fooled to begin with, but now I’m seeing step two of the typical male role . . . dominance. After experiencing the phenomenon firsthand, I’m a little more understanding of how my mother let herself be put in these situations again and again. Even my step-father seemed charming at first. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look at a man again let alone date one.
The phone in my purse rings again, but once again I ignore it. I try to go over my options, but I feel like Vorek has backed me into a corner. If I don’t accept the scholarship and internship, how will I be able to finish school? I’ve already been told my independent status is denied, and I can’t get my mother’s signature to get financial aid as a dependent.
I’ll be kicked out of school if I don’t have the scholarship. But if I accept the scholarship, Vorek will have what he’s been after along: complete domination. I’m no one’s slave. My decisions are my own. The only positive I can see is that I still have my apartment and my job at the restaurant to go back to. I’m so grateful I didn’t let him talk me into moving in with him.
I can’t even think because the stupid phone is ringing again. I open my purse to take it out and turn it off, but that’s when I see that it’s not Vorek. I recognize the area code and my stomach clenches violently. It has to be my sister Amy calling. But she would only call if it’s an emergency.
I quickly slide my finger across the screen to answer before it switches over to voicemail. I hold it up to my ear and struggle to understand her. She’s crying, hard.
“Amy, what’s wrong?” I ask.
“Sarah, thank God you picked up. I need you!” she chokes out, sounding desperate.
“I’m here for you sis! What is it?”
“But you’re not here Sarah. That’s the problem. I haven’t seen you in months. And why won’t you even tell me where you are?”
“Amy, we’ve been over this. If I tell you where I am they could use it against you.”
Amy starts sobbing again, and she sound so hysterical that I’m afraid she’s going to cause herself harm . . . and the baby.
What’s wrong?”
“It’s Jeb.”
“What did he do?”
“He hit me. I know it’s my fault, I never should have dressed up like I did. First Timothy 2:9 says that ‘In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with braided hair, or pearls, or costly array.’ I’m afraid of what he’ll do when he comes back.”
“Amy, you listen to me, it is not your fault.”
She sniffles but doesn’t reply. I always knew something like this would happen. Why didn’t I get her out of there sooner? Maybe I can convince the authorities that it was rape since she’s a minor. Or we can flee the states entirely, maybe go to Mexico?
“How bad did he hurt you? Are you okay? How about . . . the baby?” My voice gives out at the end. I still haven’t gotten used to the fact that my baby sister is going to have a child of her own. She’s so young.
“I talked back. I shouldn’t have. ‘Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection, First Timothy 2:11.’ The way Amy kept spouting scripture had me digging my nails into my palm. They really had worked a number on her. I wondered if she’d ever be right in the head again, even after I helped get her away from the cult’s influence.
“What happened next?” I asked, even though I wanted to stick my head under the sand like an ostrich and block out the pain her words evoked.
“Then he slapped me. I tried to run for the door, but he kicked me and I fell. I turned so that he didn’t kick my stomach. So, I don’t think the baby is hurt. But I’m afraid of him. He’s so jealous, and if any of the men in the compound even look at me, he thinks I’m leading them on.”
Amy sniffles into the phone and my heart breaks.
“He’s a monster.”
“I didn’t know he was like this. He was always so nice before we got married.”
“You can’t trust men, Amy. They always change. Think about our step-father.”
“You’re right. I should have gone with you when you left. But now it’s too late, and I’m trapped. And you’re not here, and I don’t even know where you are.”
“I can come get you,” I said without hesitation. “That is if you’ve made up your mind and you’re sure you want to leave him.” This wouldn’t work unless it was her choice.
“I do. I really do, Sarah. If I could come live with you that would be so awesome. I wouldn’t have to worry about him beating on me anymore. And I miss you, and you could help me with the baby.”
My heart melts listening to her, and a plan quickly forms in my mind.
“Can you get away from the compound, Amy?”
“Yes. I can steal his car. The keys are right here on the hook by the door. He’ll be in a council meeting all night and he won’t notice I’m gone for hours.”
“Don’t pack anything. Just take a purse with your phone and ID. Get in the car right now, and drive to the Chicago O’Hare airport. I’m going to go to the airport here right now, and I’ll take the first flight into O’Hare that I can get. Just park his car in long term parking, and take the shuttle to the terminal. No one will find his car there for a while. Meet me inside the airport at Southwest ticketing. I’ll buy you a ticket, then we’ll both fly back here together.”
“But where do you live? Do you have room for me?”
“My apartment is small, but you can share my bedroom, or I can take the couch. We’ll work all of that out later. The important thing is to get you out of there now before it becomes even more dangerous. I love you, Amy.”
“I love you too, Sarah. I knew you would help me.”
“I’ve got to hang up now so that I can get myself to the airport, and buy a ticket. I’ll call you back when I know what time my flight will arrive.”
“I’m scared.”
“I know you are, sis, but it’ll be fine. Don’t talk to anyone. Just leave.”
“Not even Mom?”
“Especially not Mom. I’m hanging up now. Love you,” I repeated one last time, my voice tremulous.