CHAPTER THIRTEEN
As the ship began the journey to his home, Ren found himself once again with time on his hands.
What had once seemed like an unexpected luxury was now a form of torture. He spent his time reevaluating everyone he had ever known, wondering who had cause to betray him. Turning his mind from that problem was worse, though, because his brain would then helpfully supply the image of Sebastian falling. Not just falling. Leaping. Into death, the unknown, adventure — all of it away from Ren.
In that moment, back on the platform with the robot advancing on them, he’d been ready to make a trade — the Heart for their lives. But then he’d hesitated, doubting his choice, doubting that he could actually do anything — and in his hesitation everyone else had acted.
The difference between Ren and Sebastian had never been more obvious. Sebastian was a man of action. Ren was the one who got left behind.
On the second day out from Fortuna, the doctor had asked him to visit the sick bay, so for lack of anything else to do besides brood, Ren went.
He had not been in the sick bay in four years, and even then had had only a passing familiarity with the ship’s medical facilities, so he was startled to find the large room was now filled with plants. It wasn’t just the few potted succulents of a hobbyist; greenery crowded the shelves up to a ceiling hung with vines, and large containers flourished under bright lamps.
The room smelled fresh and green, even if the air was humid, and Ren inhaled deeply.
Stepping past what looked to be a tall corn plant, he saw Rylan seated on a reclining chair, his right hand encased in tubing connected to a large medical machine, the other propping up a book.
He looked up over it at Ren. “Welcome to the jungle.”
Dr. Stevenson came toward him from the back, shaking her head. “They all tease me about the plants, but no one complains when we have fresh vegetables for our meals.” She studied Ren with a keen, professional air and patted the med table beside her. “Well, you might as well come in. Take off the jacket; you’re about to get it stuck on my raspberry bush anyway.”
Ren saw that his sleeve was indeed nudging up against some kind of small thorny bush. The doctor was dressed, like Rylan, in a sleeveless shirt. In the greenhouse atmosphere, Ren could understand why. He was reluctant to approach the table; doctors and tests made him anxious — he was too used to everyone sighing over his results and wondering why his royal blood had failed to give him any ability to communicate with machines.
“I am quite all right, Doctor.”
“It’s Lydia, and this is standard procedure for everyone who’s been planet-side. Just to make sure no one’s carrying any infections or stray parasites.”
Ren remembered the glowing, and raw, mussels at Graven’s party and overcame his reluctance. He took off his coat, hanging it over the back of a chair with a pot of herbs on it, and sat on the med table. He lay back while Lydia turned on the diagnostic computer.
“There are a lot of Commonwealth rules we disregard on this ship,” she said, looking at the computer display above the bed, “but the ones about medical protocols are worth following. No one wants to see a virus traveling from one outpost to another.”
“Of course.”
“Not to mention sexually transmitted infections,” she added absently, tapping the screen.
“Uh,” Rylan said from his chair, “I can go and give you some privacy.”
“You have another two hours of tissue regeneration,” Lydia said sharply, “don’t move. Besides,” she added a little kindlier to Ren, “I’m not saying you have anything, and I don’t need your history, sexual or otherwise, to treat you.” A twinkle appeared in her dark eyes. “Of course, everyone on the crew is regularly screened so no chance of catching one here.”
Ren thought of Sebastian’s soft lips and the heat of his mouth. There was, too, the even more visceral memory of watching him fall.
A frown crossed Lydia’s face as she looked at the monitors and then back at Ren. “Sorry,” she said, and before he could ask for what, she continued on briskly, all traces of teasing gone. “So what’s Arcadia like? I’ve never been.”
Ren cast about for some way to describe his home. “I haven’t seen many other worlds myself, but Arcadia is beautiful. You’ll enjoy it. There are many orchards, vineyards—”
There was a snort from Rylan. “Captain’ll like that. A planet that makes wine,” he said, not looking up from his book.
Lydia frowned again. “You, focus on healing. Quiet healing,” she said to Rylan. She turned back to Ren. “I’m sure it’s lovely. Standard gravity too, judging by your bone density. What are the UV levels like?”
In all his study of his world’s imports, exports and various geographical features, that had never come up. “Normal, I suppose?”
“Normal for you and me, but that could mean someone with Mags’ or Kaz’s skin tone gets burned. Not that we’ll get Kaz off the ship.”
There was a quieter snort from Rylan.
Lydia smiled slightly. “Of course, Rylan likes his tan. He’s always pushing the UV in his quarters up.”
“It’s within limits,” Rylan protested.
“I treat you more for potential skin damage than I do for actual physical damage. Which is saying something, the way you’re always slamming into walls and rocks.”
They continued bickering good-naturedly with each other until the doctor pronounced Ren healthy and parasite-free. As he got off the table, she pressed a small packet into his hands.
“Tea,” Lydia said quietly. “It’ll help you sleep.”
Ren was about to protest that he was fine, but he also thought of the sleepless hours he’d spent in his quarters last night.
“Thank you.”
“Come back if you need something stronger. Or to talk.”
That was another reason Ren disliked medical tests — it was harder to conceal anything when someone could just peer inside him. A reckless urge gripped him, to just pour everything out to her, to Rylan in his chair. All of his fears about going home and what he would find, about Sebastian and everything he stirred up. Ren wanted to pull the mask off and just howl in frustration.
But he wore his politeness instead and merely smiled and thanked her again.
Ren tried the library next for distraction.
Like all current spacefaring vessels, the ship maintained a collection of printed books. The Singularity, in its initial attack on humanity, had erased untold databases containing not just technical knowledge, but science, history, and literature. What remained was hard-won, salvaged from corrupted files or reprinted from antique collections. The Commonwealth required that ships carry hard copies of repair manuals and star charts, and also encouraged the vessels to bring along other books as well, in hopes that spreading cultural knowledge around would prevent its loss. Ren was glad to see that this was another safety protocol the crew maintained.
On the shelves he could see the sober Earth classics that were standard issue on Arcadian ships, but also more recent additions — cheaply bound modern books with bright covers and titles that would have earned Ren frowns from his tutors if he’d been caught reading them. Jaime had recommended a series called The Luisa Lee Adventures, and Ren located the first book and pulled it from the shelf.
A few chapters in, he was ready to throw it against the wall. It wasn’t that the book was bad — he was enjoying the rollicking style — but it featured attacking robots, betrayals, and battles on the edges of cliffs. How had this become his life?
Instead of throwing it — because books, no matter the subject, were still rare and precious — he put it back and stalked out of the room, temper simmering.
Ren considered lifting weights but instead headed to the engine room. He’d always had a fascination for the workings of spaceships, or at least the mathematics of it, and he also suspected it was hard to stay in a bad mood around Simi. But he found when he reached the corridor leading toward the engine room — having to navigate its many safety hatches — that Sebastian was there too.
He was leaning casually against a wall, idly twirling an engineering cap in his hand while he talked to the more animated Simi. The fact that Sebastian could be so at ease — that everything for him was so very easy — had Ren gritting his teeth.
Simi caught sight of him, her smile widening and then faltering when she took in Ren’s expression. “Hey, Ren.”
Sebastian turned toward him, looking pleased. “Come to give the engines a royal inspection? Simi has them humming along; we should have you home faster than anticipated.”
Sebastian would like that. It meant he could dump Ren into whatever mess was awaiting him and then continue on his way. “The quicker you’ll get paid then, I suppose.”
Sebastian raised an eyebrow and studied him more closely. “I was thinking more of beating Zaria back so you could do damage control, but yes, credits in my account will be a pleasant side benefit.”
Simi sighed wistfully. “Payday. It’s been a while.”
Ren shook his head, anger focused on Sebastian. “You aren’t paying them? While they risk their lives? But of course you take advantage of your crew. You have me buy you new clothes and hotel rooms, and meanwhile they’re supposed to get by on a smile and a promise.”
Sebastian stepped closer, eyes narrowing. “I always look after my crew. They have no complaints—”
“Well…” Simi said, but Sebastian kept going.
“I don’t know what’s crawled up your well-shaped backside today,” he said, “but remember we’re doing all this so you can continue to live in a fucking palace. I apologize if it offends your sensibilities that getting paid is a consideration for us common people. Like you said, we’re risking our lives.”
Ren smiled unpleasantly. “Oh yes, but it’s not all about the money for you, Sebastian. Naturally, I thought it was the only thing you cared about, but it’s about the risk, isn’t it? You’re some kind of addict with your elaborate schemes and stunts.”
Simi edged toward the engine room door. “You know, I’m just gonna go…” She slipped away, but Ren never looked away from Sebastian. It gave Ren some kind of pleasure to see anger spark in his dark brown eyes.
“You’ve got your ugly necklace back,” Sebastian said. “I’m sorry if you got a little frightened at what it took, but this is how it is in the real world.”
Ren laughed. “Reality is not something you’re familiar with, Sebastian. This is all just an endless fantasy for you. You build yourself up to be someone important in your own mind and never care about who gets hurt along the way.”
Sebastian’s face changed, all the anger dropping away at the word hurt. Ren needed that anger back; he didn’t want to see if pity would replace it.
“Ren,” Sebastian started to say, “I’m — I never wanted to—”
“I think we need to reconsider the terms of our agreement, Captain,” Ren said, voice like ice. “A certain amount of discretion was expected in retrieving the Heart. It was most definitely not delivered. That, on top of the considerable expenses you’ve incurred, means you won’t be receiving any additional payment.”
He felt a carefully precise mask settle over his face as he spoke. It was comforting in its familiarity. Ren could walk away now and not have to worry that Sebastian would think him vulnerable. He started to turn, but Sebastian grabbed his arm, and Ren felt the mask slip and crack at his touch.
“Damn it. We had a deal.”
Ren felt almost light-headed at the rush of words spilling out of him. “What does that matter to someone like you? You lie and cheat all the time. Why can’t I? Maybe when we get back to Arcadia, I’ll take this ship back too. My ship. I’d rather use it for scrap than let you spend one more minute enjoying everything you stole from me—”
Suddenly there was a mild shudder, remarkable only in that it came from every direction — the floor, the walls, the ceiling, and the very air itself. A single shake and then everything stilled. The lights in the corridor flickered briefly and then resumed in a dimmer fashion.
Sebastian looked around in alarm. “Can you feel that? We’ve stopped.”
For an instant, Ren thought he meant they’d stopped fighting, but then he realized that it was the ship that had stopped. The barely detectable hum from the engines had stopped.
The heavy door to the engine room was yanked open, and Simi came back out, her eyes wide beneath her cap. She looked at both of them.
“What did you do?”