Someone slams the front door and I'm jostled out of my very nice, very sexy dream. I was peacefully sleeping, loops of Clint over me playing in my brain when some asshole had the nerve to wake the whole house up at - I lean over to check my clock - 10 a.m. Okay, so it wasn't the buttcrack of dawn. But a girl needed her beauty rest.

I stretched my arms above my head and wiggled my hips, getting out all of the cracks from my back, toes and shoulders. I still wasn't completely used to sleeping on a comfy bed, in a well air-conditioned house.

Part of me longed for Africa. The way it was quiet but never silent. The bugs going at all hours, the rustle of the dessert. The smell of nature, pure and untouched wafting into the tent walls. I even missed the sweltering heat.

But part of me knew I could never go back there and have it be the same again. A pang of hurt ricocheted through my heart, tearing the hole just a little wider.

Clint. That was a whole other subject that left my heart feeling confused.

Why was my heart even a factor in the Clint situation? I had no idea. It had never been before. I was going to tell myself it’s because we were best buddies before we became fuck buddies.

But the way he looked at me last night? Those haunting eyes floating above me. Their color as clear and blue as the sky right after a rain storm. And the way he put my needs first.

No one had ever done that. Not so unselfishly as Clint had. He'd actually stopped me from sucking him off and insisted on me having an orgasm. Talk about a rare gem. I loved a guy who volunteered to give me head. And finished the job no less. Not that I was looking for a rare gem. Which was why this was screwing me up.

I just wanted to hook up with him. I didn't also want to like him. But I'd already liked him before he put his dick in me.

Shaking my head, I washed all of the thoughts from my brain. Why was I even thinking about feelings towards boys? For Clint? Fuck that.

A knock came on my door just as I pulled what smelled like a clean tank top over my head. "Sup?" I yelled at the white-washed wood.

Minka stood behind the half open door. "Are you just getting up, or just getting home?"

I smiled at her slutty joke. "Har, har. Bitch."

"No really? How did you get home? I didn't even see you after we bought beers at Sammy's. Do you know if Clint is home too because we couldn't find him..."

My best friend trails off as it becomes clearly evident just how and with whom Clint and I got home last night. "Kelsey Ann, you didn’t!"

I choose to ignore the bossy Minka-mommy invading my space and instead tied my short locks up in a high ponytail. The hairdo sends my flaming locks every which way on top of my head.

"Seriously?! You did it even after I told you not to? Are you fucking crazy or just out to ruin that boy's life?"

I whipped around. "Who the fuck spit in your Cheerios this morning? I'm not ruining anyone's life, you anal retentive. We happened to have sex. Great sex. I'm sure Clint rather enjoyed it if you want to go ask him. Now...did you need to yell at me some more or were you done because I'm headed to the preservation."

I slung my canvas tote around my neck and grabbed my car keys.

Minka's voice was low when she spoke. “I’m sorry, Kels. I didn’t mean to yell. But believe when I tell you, I’m not overreacting. Clint is not like these other douche heads you fool around with. And I’m pretty sure he’s in love with you. And while that makes me very happy, because you’re an amazing girl who deserves that, especially from someone like him, I don’t think you want it. In fact, I know you plan to keep it as casual as possible. And so as Clint’s friend too, I’m telling you now, from the get-go, that I don’t approve of this.”

Her face was so serious, I couldn’t help but snort laugh like some ugly hog. “Do you hear yourself when you give these little lectures? Seriously, Minks. You kill me.”

Stalking out my room as to get away from The Grim Reaper of Maturity, I slammed full force into a naked set of rock hard abs.

Backing up, Clint stared me dead in the face. We stood, unblinking for several moments before Owen and Parker looked back from their places on the couch.

“What’s going on?” Parker snarled as he clicked through the sports channels.

I’d managed to get in good with everyone in the group even with the year I was MIA in Africa. Everyone except for Parker. He loathed me, and that was understatement. No matter what lengths I went to, how much I flirted or tried to act like his wingwoman, he wanted nothing to do with me.

“Just need a smoke!” I squeaked at the same time Clint said, “You look pretty today.”

Everyone, including me, snapped their eyes to Clint. There was still droplets of water stuck to his long black eyelashes after his shower that now hooded those mesmerizing pools of turquoise. He looked utterly delicious. I wanted to coat that long, lean eight-pack in syrup and eat him for breakfast.

And that’s when I noticed everyone was staring at me stare at Clint like he was an adult-sized vibrator. “Uh…thanks. I gotta go.”

I sprinted so fast out of the front door, you would have thought my roommates were chasing me with pitchforks.

If no one suspected we went home together last night, they definitely did now. Fucking great.

Most rich kids whose parents owned preservations just posed for the photo ops. They held a cute baby sloth or rode an elephant for a commercial. They couldn’t be bothered to actually care about the animals or their wellbeing. I’d known and hung around with plenty of them in my days on the circuit.

Most rich kids were not me. Case in point. I had my hand halfway up a zebra’s ass helping her birth her foal.

“It's okay, good girl. You’re doing great.” Jackson soothed her, brushing her mane and face.

The mother, Zahara, whinnied and tried to move away from the pain, shifting on the ground and kicking her hoofs against me. I was ready for that though. She’d been doing it for the last half hour.

“I have to turn him. He’s not budging. If I can just…” I reached my gloved hand inside, feeling the foal’s features and trying to adjust him. She was having one of the most difficult births I’d seen, and all I wanted to do was end her pain.

“There!” I’d adjusted the baby enough and began to pull. “You gotta push for me Zahara. Come on big momma, it’s almost done.”

As if hearing the words “almost done,” the zebra contracted all of her muscles and began to push the foal out. She was crying in pain, some of the most disturbing sounds I’d ever heard come out of an animal.

“That’s it girl, almost there!” I could feel the tears splashing down my cheeks. These moments were precious, wholly natural and completely amazing. Into this screwed up, crazy-ass world came this beautiful, unblemished baby. And for these precious moments, they were perfect.

The baby was now almost fully out, and with one last grunt from mama, he came bucking out.

“Thatta girl! Good job, mama. Grant, take the foal.” Jackson began barking orders to the staff, who came to clean and check the baby. Another one swooped in to check out Zahara.

I backed away, basking in the miracle that had just taken place. Stripping of the dirty gloves and throwing them in the industrial sink, I slid down a nearby pole, plopping down in the dirt.

“You done good, Dr. Doolittle.” Jackson neared me, grinning like a fool.

“Only with your direction, thanks for letting me takeover.”

I wasn’t a vet and I didn’t have any sort of license. Jackson always risked a lot when he let me handle a birth, or any medical issue with the animals for that matter. But I didn’t need books and a piece of paper to know how to handle animals. How to take care of them. I understood their pain and their needs almost as much as I knew my own.

Standing and walking to where my shoulder bag rested on a table, I pulled my Marlboro Lights out and searched around for my lighter.

“Hey none of that in here! And you know those things will kill you, right?” Jackson scolds me and I giggle.

I flick the lighter anyway, relishing the sound and the way the cigarette crackles when I burn it. I inhale my first puff, and instantly the nicotine shoots through my veins. God, yes. If you’ve never had a smoke after sex, or birthing a baby zebra, you’re missing out.

“Yeah, yeah. Get in line. There are plenty of people already kicking my ass for it.

"I'm serious, Mother Nature. You have to stop living like Death will never reach you. I love you for your free spirit, kid, but you can't keep running from your demons."

His words hit my stomach and made it drop. "I don't have any demons, Jackson. If I did, I would kick those assholes in the face."

"What happened in Africa, Kelsey?"

The cigarette was halfway to my lips when he spoke, and I froze with my fingers in midair. "Nothing." I tried to play it off nonchalantly as I averted my eyes to whatever was happening in the distance.

Jackson is silent a few more minutes. We look off into the horizon, where the pink and orange sun is slowly setting. I hadn't even realized I'd been here the entire day. But it had kept my mind off Clint.

"You know you can always talk to me, right? I'm here for you. And if you don't want to, that's okay. But don't lie to me. I know when something is bothering you. I held you in my arms as a little baby. I know what makes you tick. And since you came running on back here four months early from Tanzania, you haven't been the same. Does it have something to do with your parents?"

Inhaling the bitter smoke, I could feel the burn and crackle as it slid down my throat.

"Because I've known them a long time. And I'm sure there are things you know, and things you don't. And it's not my place to tell you them. But you can't settle for a half-truth and run scared from the rest of the story."

Jackson's words reverberated in my skull. Was I running? I'd convinced myself, and everyone else, that I was the toughest cookie in the batch. But maybe my facade was crumbling. I stayed silent.

“If you ever want to talk, I’m here. Love you, kid.” He walked away slowly, kicking the dirt with his scuffed up boots.

I needed to pull myself out of the funk I’d been in. Jeez. Everyone around here was getting a little too serious for my taste. It was definitely time to call in the crazy and get a little loose.