“I can stay,” says Missy for the hundredth time this morning.

“I know, but I’m okay. Kai said he’d take care of me if Randall ever shows his face and you have Jed to go back to and a life, Missy.”

Missy nods knowing I speak the truth. “Kai left early this morning.” It’s a statement but it sounds like a question.

“Yeah, he said he has club business to attend to.” Guilt fills me as I remember how Kai told me he’d joined the Crude Souls, for me. No man has ever done anything like that before. I’m astounded and thankful all at the same time. If I’m being honest I also feel guilty that the words ‘stay true’ which are tattooed across his chest have now lost their meaning. He chose those words to be inked forever on his skin as a reminder to stay true to himself, never let Malek win his battle to have him join the club. Now, he’s their newest member all because of me.

Missy is staring at me with scrutiny. “Honey, like I said, I can stay.”

I laugh, my heart is light for the first time in a long time. “No. Go home. Give Jed a big kiss from me. I promise if I need you, I’ll ring you.”

Missy engulfs me in a bone crushing hug. “I love you, girl.” Then she pushes me away and gets into the back of the taxi that will take her to the train station. “If you don’t ring me every day, I’ll kick your arse.”

I giggle at her. “I will. Love you too. Now, go already!”

That was five days ago and that many days since Kai and I had sex.

Five days since Kai patched in, now a member of the Crude Souls MC. The club patch, inked into his once clean, muscular back, a constant reminder of his sacrifice. Ink now covers his chest, a full sleeve and his back. It’s sexy as fuck.

Despite how much I swooned over his body rippling above mine, giving me the kind of pleasure I never knew existed; it was more than his physical body. It was something inside of me that pulled this way and that until the final piece fell into place. The piece that would make me whole again. How I knew this, I will never begin to understand. That’s why at the time it didn’t feel like just sex, it felt like something more, something I don’t think I’ve ever felt.

But today, as I sit staring at my phone with a member of the Crude Souls sitting in my lounge room staring at me, I realise that’s all it was to him.

“Ya got any coffee, love?”

Pulling me out of my thoughts, I stare at this man. I think he said his name was Goat. “Sure.” I stand and as I pass him I ask, “How long do you have to stay here?”

He stands and follows me into the kitchen. “Malek said I’m to stay here until Kai comes back.”

Right now I’m missing Missy more than I thought possible. She had to go back to her life and I assured her everything was going to be okay, that I’d be okay. All I want to do right now is ring her and tell her to come back because I need her to hug me and tell me everything will work out. But I know I can’t do that to her, she’s already done so much for me. I need to stand on my own two feet. I have phoned her every day and I tell her I’m fine. I’m sure she can hear it in my voice, like before but she doesn’t push. Missy knows when I’m ready I’ll tell her what’s going on. I’ve promised her I’m safe and I say it with enough conviction to convince her.

“Goat, right?” He nods his shaved head at me and grins, his crooked, tar stained teeth visible across the room. “Malek is Kai’s dad, right?”

“Yeah, love.”

“And why isn’t Kai here? Why hasn’t he called me?” I raise my voice a little and it waivers. I mentally slap myself. Turning around so that Goat can’t see my face, I grab some mugs out of a cupboard.

I hear Goat letting out a frustrated sound as he moves to sit at the kitchen table. When I know I’m under control, I turn back around and make us both a coffee. Surprisingly, Goat waits for me to sit opposite him before he speaks.

“Kai’s been around the club his whole life. He’s never been interested in joining until now.”

Goat looks weary and his eyes have dark shadows underneath them. From the tone of his voice, he’s trying to tell me something, without actually telling me. I nod my head at him; we both know Kai did it for me. He sips his coffee in silence.

“Goat, I’ve never been around an MC before. I don’t know the rules. All I know is that Kai got a phone call, he left and then you turned up. Tell me what the hell is going on? Please,” I finish on a whisper.

“Christ! What a clusterfuck!” Goat leans back in his chair and scrubs a hand over his craggy face and the back of his odd shaped head. “You’ve got no fucking idea, do you?”

I shake my head.

“You do know Kai joined up for you, Callie. Your old man wants you back, and from the intel we’ve managed to discover, the fucker wants you dead too. But not yet, there’s some sort of pay day he’s waiting on.”

All the colour drains from my face as the realisation sets in. My subconscious replays what Goat has just told me and I blurt out, “Yes, I know Kai joined for me.” Goat nods. “But I didn’t know Randall knew about my inheritance, it explains so much.”

Now it all makes sense. He never really loved me or wanted me, Randall wanted the money. Here I was thinking he married me because he loved me. I understand now I was only a possession to him because he was waiting on pay day. My pay day.

Goat gives me a perplexed look. “You thought you’d kept it from him?”

“Yes, I guess I always knew one day I’d leave him.” I stop talking as my inner feelings about Kai come to the surface. It wasn’t just sex, it was more. Kai has joined this MC to protect me from that bastard Randall.

Goat nods as he sees me working this out. “I’m here because Malek wanted someone from the club looking over you. But there’s a problem, Kai hasn’t staked a claim on you so some would consider you club property.”

I didn’t like the sound of that at all. Panic fills me and I look at Goat with wide eyes. Why had Kai never mentioned this during any of our conversations?

He holds up both hands. “Be calm. I’ve known Kai forever, I know how he feels about you. That’s why I volunteered before anyone else. You have nothing to fear from me, Callie.”

Goat’s words are meaningless. Again, I’m reduced to a possession, a crude possession, and it appears that anyone in this MC can do what they want with me. My panic turns into slow burning rage as I let everything that he has said sink in. Forcing myself to smile, I stand and walk into the bedroom where I shut and lock the door. I begin to pace back and forth then I move a chair in front of the door to make it harder for anyone to enter. After a few more moments, I push the tallboy over too. I need my own space, but more than anything I need to manage the growing fears inside of me. Maybe fear isn’t the word, I’m not fearful of Kai, but I’m terrified of the unknown.

I’m confident it’s not going to be easy for anyone to get in. On my bedside table is a small can of aerosol deodorant that Missy must have left behind. I pick it up and think it could momentarily blind an attacker so I shove it into my jeans pocket.

Goat knocks on my door. “Is everything okay?”

No everything isn’t fucking okay! I make myself calm down and say to the closed door, “Yes, just taking a nap.”

“Ah, okay, cool.”

Turning, I look out of my bedroom window facing the street at the front of the house and notice that anyone who may be around or in the house across the road can see me pacing back and forth so I close the curtains. Escape is my only thought. I flop onto the bed and stare at the ceiling. I’m caught between a fucking rock and a hard place. This was supposed to be my chance to start over, to be fresh and new. Not to be a fucking prisoner again, frightened that my every movement will set off a time bomb. I don’t understand why Kai left. I sit up and push the tallboy and chair out of the way, unlock the door and stride out to Goat who is standing in my kitchen making himself another coffee.

“Why did Kai leave me?” I demand to know.

“Kai does as the president instructs. We all do.”

“That’s not an answer. Why?” I repeat more forcefully.

Goat purses his lips and nods to himself. “Malek sent him to...talk to Randall.”

No, no, no! What have I done?

“Not by himself?” To my surprise my voice is steady, even.

“No.”

“He’s connected,” I blurt out and Goat gives me a confused look. “Randall, his brother is a cop. They aren’t to be fucked with. Why do you think I came here? I couldn’t stay in New South Wales, it would have been too easy to find me. At least in Queensland I thought I had a chance to disappear.” I couldn’t even move closer to my best friend because it would be the first place he would look for me.

“Kai can handle himself and so can the boys that went with him.” Goat looks down at the floor then at me. “It’s you I’m worried about. Malek has always wanted Kai in the MC and now he has him because of you. Malek will try and use you to get to Kai. You have to be careful, understand?”

No, I didn’t understand but I nod, making a mental note to ask Kai about this when he returns.

If he returns.

“Don’t be alone in a room with Malek, and if you have any feelings for Kai, ask him to stake a claim. That way you are protected, not even Malek will break that rule. Too many of us would go against him. There are a few that Kai trusts, me of course and Razor. He’s a rough looking bastard but he’ll defend you for Kai.”

Stake a claim? Damn you Malakai, you’ve reduced me to a possession, I mentally yell at him. I give Goat a piercing look and head back into my bedroom. This time I just lock the door. I will not be reduced to a thing ever again. Not even for a man who has risked everything for me.

My name is Callie Harper. I’m shiny and brand new. No man is ever going to own me again. Peeking out of my front bedroom window, I can see that there’s no one around. I slide it open as quietly as I can, grab my handbag and slip out of the house. Breathing heavily and with no clear plan, I stand there listening for a noise or for Goat to come running out my front door. After what feels like an eternity I duck down and head for the road. When I’m far enough away from the house, I run. There’s no MC out the front of my house, only Goat was left to guard me. I’m terrified and I have no idea where I’m going. I need to warn Kai about Randall and his brother Rance. They are devils.

I keep running until something hits me in the back of my knees and I go down, hard. The palms of my hands are grazed and burning. My chin bites into the tarmac and I know I’ve taken skin off there too. I’m flipped over by a kick to the stomach and standing over me is Rance. He’s smiling at me with satisfaction plastered across his smug face.

“Hello, Cindy. Knew it was a matter of time before you fucked up.”

That was the last thing I heard before his boot came down on the side of my head.