Over a week has passed since the demise of Randall and Rance, and it’s been the longest week of my life. Oddly, I am calm and settled knowing there is no longer anything or anyone standing in the way of me living my life. The bruising is fading with only a few grazes left on my face.

Missy was waiting for us when we returned home after that fateful night. I remember the drive, it was silent and intense. I desperately needed sleep but it evaded me until Missy helped me bathe and cradled me in her arms until sleep finally claimed me.

It was the only night that nightmares hadn’t woken me. Each night since, Kai has dozed lightly beside me, ready for the screams that tear me from my sleep. As protected as I feel in his arms, I need more from him, but he’s distant. Inside I’m a screaming mess, but outside I pretend I’m okay.

The usual. It’s how I deal with life. Talk little, show little.

Malakai has barely left my side but internally I know he is struggling. I sense it with everything he says and does. The way he looks at me; it’s not the same but he tries. I know he feels guilt for leaving me with Goat instead of staying with me. But I don’t blame him. I never will.

There’s a barrier between us that is breaking my heart. He won’t talk to me about what happened. I don’t know if it’s the repercussion of having taken two lives, or the wrath rained down on him from Malek because of it.

Whatever the reason, I want to be there for him like he has been for me. While fear racks me during my sleeping hours, my days have changed considerably. Knowing I’m safe from Randall and Rance, I’m ready to move on. Yes, it’s still so soon, but what I experienced that night was no different for me than anything else I’ve dealt with over the years. Only that night had a happy ending.

Randall and Rance were dead and I am now safe from them both. My demons will always be mine but I won’t allow them to hold me back from living a new life.

Worst of all, Kai won’t touch me. Not intimately. I desperately need to feel his touch. I need to know that I’m his with more than words and solid promises. I need him to be the one I remember as my last. Not that disgusting filth that forced himself on me. Kai is still treating me like a delicate flower.

My skin crawls as a flicker of a memory rears its ugly head. That disgusting thug, unwanted and definitely uninvited. I push the memory away, it’s the reason I’m so desperate for Kai to own me, show me his passion; new experiences to replace the old.

“Are you cold, baby?” Kai must have seen my body shiver at the thought of Rance. He moves in behind me at the kitchen counter where I’m making us our morning coffee. I’m wearing a sheer pink, baby doll outfit which barely covers my boobs or my arse. One of the many things Missy and I purchased on our shopping spree. Something so simple has the ability to ignite my confidence in my broken body. It’s not usually my way, but I’m not shy of trying to entice him into bed. I’m struggling with this deep seated need for him that I’ve never felt before. However, I am almost over him not taking the bait. My self-esteem is at an all-time low. The only man that I want to touch me is so close but so far away. I’m not sure how to tell him everything that’s floating around in my head. Would he even want to hear it?

“No, but if you’re offering to warm me up, maybe I am a little chilled,” I tease. His arms snake around my waist and he softly kisses the side of my neck. I can feel his smile beneath each kiss but he doesn’t respond. I twist in his arms and bring his face to mine with both hands at his neck. My lips meet his and passion ignites between us. Heat pools between my legs and a burning desire surges within me. I moan into his mouth and Kai’s hands grip my arse. I push further into him, trying to meld my body with his, my tongue invading his mouth as his hands roam over my skin. Suddenly, he pushes me back and it feels like a slap in the face.

“No!” I say angrily, I need him to want me, to take me, to make me feel good again.

“Callie, you’ve—”

“Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare tell me what I’ve been through! I want you. I want you inside me. I don’t want to think about that animal and what he did to me! Jesus, Kai! I. Want. You.”

I feel my tears course down my face, the worst thing is that Kai is staring at the floor, he can’t even look at me. Blinded by tears I run into the bedroom, slam the door and scream. The sound that escapes me is feral and I fall to the floor with my back against the door. I’m sobbing, taking deep breaths as I begin to realise Kai no longer wants me.

How can I have thought he would? I am tainted, always have been.

A soft knock startles me but I can’t control the tears or the noises that keep coming.

“Callie, please open the door.” I shake my head even though he can’t see me. The door slowly opens but he can’t push it more than a couple of centimetres as I’m up against it. “Babe, please let me in.”

Anger surges through me. I stand, fling open the door and yell, “Why? Because you feel sorry for me? Well, fuck you!” I rage.

Kai flinches, grabs me by the shoulders and pulls me into him. His arms are like bands of steel as I struggle to get out of his grip.

“Shh, Callie, Callie, Callie...” Kai whispers my name over and over again until I stop pushing against him and find myself clinging to him. We stand like that for what feels like an eternity, neither of us saying anything or moving. 

I have my head buried into his shoulder and I can feel his breath on my neck, occasionally he rubs his lips from my neck to my shoulder. His grip on me never loses its strength.

“I don’t feel sorry for you,” he pauses. “No, that’s not true, I do, but not because you’ve done anything wrong. It’s my fault, Callie. I left you, I didn’t explain things. I thought you’d be safe, but now I know you felt trapped with Goat.” I try to pull out of his arms but he holds on tighter. “I blame myself. I don’t understand how you could possibly want me after I failed you so badly,” he whispers.

Kai’s arms relax and fall from my body. I look up at him and he looks so sad and ashamed. Standing on tiptoe I reach up and kiss his mouth lightly. Kai shakes his head and I take a step away. Taking his hand I lead him into the bathroom.

The sheer pink outfit falls easily off my body into a crumpled mess on the floor. Kai looks down at it then slowly his gaze travels from my feet to my eyes.

“I thought you didn’t want me because of what happened. That I was disgusting to you somehow.”

Kai falls to his knees and pulls me to him, dragging me down onto the cold tiles. I feel the edges of them bite into my knees as Kai shakes his head vehemently.

“No, no, no. Oh, baby, no. If I’d been here, if I’d—”

“If I hadn’t escaped. If, if, if. I don’t want either of us living like that. How about we make this easier on each other?” Kai locks eyes with me and nods. “I want you. Do you want me?” Kai nods. “It’s okay if you don’t, I can go anywhere now. I have nothing to fear.”

“If you’re leaving I’m going with you. Don’t you get it, Callie? I love you. I’d do anything for you, baby, even kill to keep you safe.”

A shadow passes across his face, and now I understand. Kai thinks it’s his fault I was violated and the killings have left a mark on his soul. I place my hands on either side of his face.

“And I’d do anything for you, all you have to do is ask,” I whisper.

Kai leans in and kisses me. All thoughts of the cold hard tiles fade away as I concentrate on his lips on mine. In this moment, it is only Kai and I, no demons, ghosts or anyone else is going to sneak its way into my mind and destroy it.  His hands once again roam my body but there’s an urgency for both of us that wasn’t there before. Kai has too many clothes on and I pull up his t-shirt so that I can feel his skin against mine. His belt buckle won’t cooperate and I make a frustrated growl as I fail to undo it. Kai chuckles, leans back, pulls off his shirt and undoes his belt in one fluid movement. I reach out to trace my fingers around the words ‘Stay True’ inked beneath each of the angel wings across his chest.

“Don’t Callie,” he says, knowing what those words do to me.

“How can I not? They’re a reminder of the promise you made to yourself. To not get messed up with Malek and the club. And now you’re in so deep...”

His mouth smashes into mine and the kiss is all I can concentrate on, well, that and the feel of his skin against mine. He pushes me back and I awkwardly fall on my back onto the tiles, my legs wrapping around him as he falls on top of me. This is what I want, need from him. To be possessed, owned by him.

Kai pulls back and stands to his feet. In one swift movement, he scoops me up and carries me to the bedroom. Placing me on the bed, he asks, “Are you ready?”

My answer is to grab his cock, put it at my entrance and arch up so that he enters me fully. The groan that escapes him is primal. Kai locks his fingers with mine, pushing my hands above my head as he thrusts in and out of me. The orgasm that washes over me takes me completely by surprise, I look at him through hooded lids and see the smirk on his lips and know he’s mine. My body reacts to him in a way that it never did with anyone else.

Callie has only ever been Malakai’s.

Cindy was weak.

Callie will always be strong with Malakai by her side.