“So, explain to me again, you two are living together, and sleeping together, but you’re not in a relationship?” Tori’s younger sister, Jane, asked as Tori zipped up about the millionth dress Jane tried on.
“It’s complicated.” Tori’s mouth pinched. “And we were not living together,” she added adamantly. “He only stayed with me and Keith for a couple months until he found a place and got on his feet.”
“You mean foot?” Jane chuckled. Tori shot her a dirty look.
Scott and Tori had a wild time in Amsterdam and returned a few weeks ago. Scott never pressured her for a relationship, but she feared he wanted more, even though he was still in no place, mentally, to offer it. She refused to be his post-injury rebound.
“Scott and I are good friends who just so happen to fuck. That’s it.” Tori ripped open the curtain.
“News flash—that’s a boyfriend, sis.” Jane huffed and snarled her nose. “I don’t understand. You and Scott have been playing this song and dance for years now. Freaking marry him already.”
Tori laughed, looking at her sister in the beautiful gown, sweeping Jane’s honey colored curls out of her face. “What, and steal your thunder? Aren’t you the one getting married here? We should be talking about your wedding.”
She spun Jane around and stood behind her as they looked in the mirror. Jane gasped and put her hands to her mouth. “Oh my God.” She admired her reflection. “I think this is it.”
“Right?” Tori’s eyes widened, secretly thanking God in her head they may have finally found the dress. Jane did indeed look stunning. It was a trumpet mermaid organza gown with a ruched bodice and a strapless, sweetheart neckline. “You look amazing, sis.”
Jane twirled in the mirror and giggled. Tori gave the sales clerk a thumbs up and a hopeful grin. He feigned a smile through gritted teeth. They’d taken hours of his time, and he looked like he was seriously questioning his career choice after dealing with her picky sister all day.
“Do you like the dress, Tori?” Jane tilted her head.
All the blood rushed to her ears, and Jane’s voice grew distant. The beating of her own heart thumped in her head as the creepy feeling of Déjà vu washed over her.
All she could see was Jane, ten years old, standing in their crummy apartment kitchen, twirling in that damn pink ruffled dress her mother’s boyfriend had bought her. Jane had been so proud of that thing, even though it was far too juvenile for Jane. Tori’s blood had run cold from the way Russ slowly grinned at Jane. Tori may have only been fourteen at the time, but she’d been old enough to know that no man should look at a ten-year-old like that.
“Do you like it, Vicky?” Russ had asked her. “Come on, tell Janie you like her dress.”
“Tori!” Jane shouted, snapping Tori out of trance.
Tori blinked several times. “It’s stunning.” Tori grinned and swallowed hard.
Jane smiled so wide and radiant that it puckered her dimples. “This is it.” Her blue eyes sparkled and teared up.
Tori and the sales clerk breathed a heavy sigh of relief.
“I’ll write up the ticket for you.” He walked over to Jane and pulled on a pair of glasses that were chained around his neck, looking at the tag.
“How much is it?” Jane asked, grimacing.
“Fifteen hundred.” He jotted down the numbers on his clipboard.
“Oh God.” Jane’s jaw hung open. “That’s double my budget. I can’t afford this, Tori, What am I gonna do?”
Jane had scrimped and saved with her fiancé, Darren, for the past year. Every spare penny had gone to this wedding.
The sales clerk crossed his arms, growing red in the face. Well, dude, that’s what you get for working at the discount bridal store. This isn’t freaking Kleinfeld. Tori smiled at him sweetly. “I’ll cover the rest.” Tori dug her card out of her wallet and handed it to the man.
“Tori, I can’t ask you to do that.” Jane bit her lip. “You don’t make enough to cover this. I’ll ask mom.”
Tori snorted at that absurd idea. Their mother was broke and could barely stay sober enough to hold down a job. Like always, it was on Tori to take care of Jane.
“It’s fine. I’ve got some money saved. I just sold a painting,” Tori lied. This was going to max out the rest of her card.
Jane threw her arms around her sister and sobbed. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Tori smiled, pulling away. “Stop crying, you’ll get tear stains on the dress before you even walk down the aisle.”
“Sooooo, back to what I was saying. Why are you not with Scott?”
Tori groaned. “I’m leaving in a week for my spring semester in New York, remember?” Tori had a choice between London and New York to finish grad school, but chose New York. Tori couldn’t afford London, even if she wanted to. “Plus, he’s trying to get his life back on track.”
“I thought he was doing great physically? You said he was walking on his prosthetic,” Jane questioned nosily, “which is why I thought you guys went to Europe. Wasn’t that some kind of romantic trip or something?”
Tori snickered. “We went to Amsterdam, not exactly the romance capital of Europe.”
“What happened there, anyway, with you two?” Jane narrowed her eyes. “You still won’t tell me how you got that.” Jane pointed to the fading scar on Tori’s right bicep.
“We don’t talk about Amsterdam.” Tori flashed a devilish smirk. Things had gotten a bit out of control there. That was staying in the vault permanently.
“Is it mental? PTSD?” Jane wasn’t letting it go.
“He seems to be handling everything as well as expected.” Tori stretched the truth a lot. Scott was struggling, which is why she got him away. Tori thought leaving for a bit would clear his head. Scott didn’t talk much about his deployment. He refused to discuss Jones. Anytime she went near that he backed away and snarled at her like a wounded animal.
“Nah.” Tori covered for him. “He’s just figuring out what to do with his career. He’s thinking of going back into the Navy.” Tori’s lips pursed tightly.
After they got back from Amsterdam, Scott seemed a bit like his old self, but Tori feared she pushed him too far. Scott was toying with the idea of re-enlisting, which Tori thought was insane with a capital I. “With advances in prosthetics, many amputees are returning to active duty,” he’d told her.
Also, with some prodding from his new blind buddy, Ackerman, Scott had begun considering jobs as a private contractor. Blind or not, she wanted to punch this guy in the gut for planting that idea in Scott’s head. Tori didn’t have the emotional endurance for a long-distance relationship.
Jane read her thoughts. “And you with your daddy issues can’t stand to lose another man, right? So, you continue with your random flings, avoiding anything that would cause you any risk of pain, stuffing it down so you don’t have to deal with feelings.”
Tori’s jaw clenched. Scott wasn’t the only man she’d been with the past several months. Currently, she was sleeping with her art history professor trying to fuck her B into an A, but she excused her behavior by the fact her and Scott never said they were exclusive. It wasn’t their style.
“This isn’t up for discussion,” Tori snapped and looked at her watch. “I need to get to class, or I’m going to be late.”
“Fine. I’ll drop it. But if you don’t snag him, someone else will.”
Scott rounded the corner of the building with two coffees in hand, whistling the tune to “Livin’ on a Prayer” by Bon Jovi. “Tommy used to work on the docks,” echoed in his brain. The song had been stuck in his head for days.
Between Tori’s finals and the fact that he’d moved out of the condo in Georgetown, he rarely got to see her in the past few weeks.
Honestly, he didn’t want to move out. He felt like he was taking ten steps backward, but he wanted to prove to Tori that she could trust him. That meant allowing her to have her freedom and space. Also, he’d need his own space and a job to support her. It was time to back up, take this slow and steady, and do things right.
He sat on the bench outside her art history building and checked his watch. She had about one hour after her classes ended before she’d have to be at the restaurant where she was currently waiting tables for extra cash. If he was lucky, he could catch a few minutes of her time, and he knew she’d appreciate the caffeine.
“Gina works the diner all day,” the song continued to loop in his brain.
He sipped the coffee and grimaced, realizing he’d mixed up the drinks and got her sugary concoction. He swapped the cup for the one between his thighs, sipped the straight black coffee, and sighed.
He chucked, recalling her stumbling out of bed naked in Amsterdam with a serious case of bedhead and raccoon eyes, snarling as she took a sip of his black coffee. “You enjoy your hot bean juice there, cowboy. Life is far too short to drink crappy coffee. I love myself too much to put myself through that torture,” she’d said.
And that was when he committed to memory how Tori liked her coffee. God, that vacation meant so much to him. The fact that she’d probably spent every last penny she had on that trip spoke volumes for her devotion to those she cared about.
He glanced up as Tori came out of the building, adjusting the strap on her shoulder and tightening her scarf around her neck. He chucked, watching her shiver. For a girl born and bred on the east coast, Tori hated the cold with a passion.
A man that Scott guessed to be about ten years older than her followed her out of the building and hollered for her. It was obvious from his sport coat that he was a professor. She stopped, turned to him, and backtracked her steps.
Scott watched the conversation unfold. At first, the professor didn’t look pleased. It was impossible to hear from the distance what was being said, but when the man leaned in and brushed a stray strand of her hair out of her face, Scott was beginning to get the gist of the conversation. He growled under his breath and stood, ready to rescue her from this sleaze who was trying to take advantage of her.
Just walk away, Tori. Come on. Do the right thing here.
Instead of turning tail and leaving, Tori grinned and leaned in closer to him, adjusting the lapel of his jacket. She checked her watch and nodded her head back toward the building, licking her top lip. He knew that look. It was the look that she’d give Scott any time he ever touched near a subject that she didn’t want to discuss. That was her let’s fuck look. It got her out of anything.
Apparently, that look was getting her out of bad grades at school, as well.
The professor glanced to his right and to his left, then opened the door, placed his hand on Tori’s back, and walked her back into the building.
Part of him wanted to run in there and rescue her from this creep. The other part of him wanted to scream at her for devaluing herself so much. Truth was, right now, she wasn’t his to rescue or be angry with—not yet, anyway. She was a starving artist who trusted nobody but herself to take care of her, and he was an unemployed, disabled veteran who had nothing to offer her but his heart.
Living on love and prayers made great storylines for movies and lyrics to songs, but reality was they were not Tommy and Gina.
He tossed the coffee in the garbage and walked away.
Jane’s words gnawed at Tori during her entire shift then the ride home afterward, along with guilt weighing on her conscience after what the professor and her had just done in his office.
What are you doing?
What if he did get tired of waiting on her? What if he did decide to move on? She was nowhere near ready for marriage but the idea of him settling with someone else was like a kick in the stomach.
She was almost back home, but the more she thought about losing him, the more possessive she grew. She flipped the car around and headed to Scott’s loft.
Tori sat at the curb and pulled her cell out of her purse. She always called first. “Dammit,” she cursed, noticing it was dead. She tossed the phone in the passenger seat.
She sat there for a long time, tapping the steering wheel. Jane was right. She wanted Scott, but she was afraid to let herself be vulnerable. Tori’s random men satisfied her itch for intimacy, but it kept her heart protected. Scott was slowly chipping away at that wall day by day. She feared what would happen when he got behind her fortress and saw what was actually there.
Finally, she bit the bullet and went into the building. She rapped loudly on the metal door several times, but there was no answer.
Tori wasn’t sure what possessed her to do what she did next, but she grabbed the handle. To her surprise, it was unlocked, and the metal door slid open.
“Scott?” she called out to him as she shut the door behind her and went inside.
Moving boxes were still open and strewn about, and a single leather couch sat in the middle of the room. The loft was brick with an industrial, exposed ceiling and dark wooden cabinetry. It oozed masculinity about as much as he did. God, his place was nice. How the hell can he afford this?
“Scott?” She was crazy to walk into a Navy SEALs home unannounced. Tori, you crazy bitch, you’re gonna get yourself shot. “Please don’t shoot me,” she whispered and giggled.
Turning the corner toward his bedroom, she heard the shower running. A devilish smile crept over her face. She stripped her clothes off and walked toward the bathroom, leaving them in a trail behind her.
She cleared her throat as she and flung back the curtain. “Honey, I’m hom…” she trailed off. Her eyes bulged as she took in Scott leaning against the wall of the shower with his hand on the rails to support him, and a stunning, dark-haired Latino girl sitting in his shower chair, sucking his cock.
“Tori, what the fuck?” he yelled with a bug-eyed look on his face.
Tori stood there, naked, with her mouth agape for a brief second, registering what she was seeing. She realized this was the woman his mother had sent to come clean his house. He was pissed his mom babied him so much. He bitched and moaned at how unnecessary and a waste of money it was.
Seems like you put her to good use. Wonder what mommy would think of that?
A numbing relief washed over Tori, releasing all the guilt from sleeping with her professor the past month.
The beautiful girl in the shower scowled, got off her knees, and covered her breasts, shouting something in Spanish. Tori understood the word wife.
She looked over at Tori apologetically, almost fearful Tori would yank her out of the shower by her hair. Tori chuckled. “No, sweetie. I’m sorry, not his wife.”
The small, little beauty tilted her head to the side curiously, looking at Tori, standing there as nude as the day she was born. The girl gave Scott a rude look and pushed him in the chest, nearly knocking him down.
“Gabriella! ¡Ella no es mi esposa!” Scott shouted. “Jesus!”
Gabriella muttered something else, grabbed a towel from the rack to cover her naked body, and stormed out of the bathroom, uttering obscenities in Spanish.
She’s a fiery little thing. Tori chuckled inwardly. If we’d met under other circumstances, her and I could totally get along.
Tori turned around and sauntered out. She gathered her clothing, still laughing and shaking her head. Jane had her convinced that Scott was ready to settle down with her. Scott seemed no readier to settle down than she did. She walked past Gabriella getting dressed and went for the living room to stay out of their business.
Soon, Scott was behind her as she was putting her clothes back on. “You’re not mad?” Scott asked, confused.
“Why would I be mad?” Tori stared blankly at him as she pulled up her jeans. Standing there on one leg, he looked incredibly sexy as the beads of water slowly dribbled down his muscular forearms that gripped his crutches. It’s not like he was going to put a ring on the housekeeper. “We never said anything about being exclusive. She was hot, by the way. Nice score.” Tori gave him a wink, trying to hide the fact that her mouth was watering at his glistening abs.
Scott’s eyes stayed steady and impassive on her face. Was he pissed she let herself in?
“I’m sorry.” Tori laughed, covering her unease. “I was only fooling around. You finish whatever it is you were doing. Give Gabriella my apology. I’d also tell you to give her a tip, but it seems like you did that already.” She walked over, kissed his wet lips, and tucked her panties into the fold of his towel. “I leave for New York next week. I’ll be gone at least six months. I’ll catch you later, sexy.” She smiled seductively, turned around, and walked out the door.
Scott saw Gabriella out. He went and flopped on his sofa, running his hands through his hair, staring at the ceiling, trying to decipher what the hell just went down.
He glanced around the room at the boxes that had been packed for so many years. He had no idea anymore what was in them. Part of him wanted to unpack them, settle in, and call this home. With the cash he’d piled up over the years and his disability payout, he’d put a down payment on the condo because that seemed like the normal thing to do—although he wasn’t sure what was normal anymore.
He hadn’t pressured Tori for anything over the past several months, nor had she him. He had been fine with that, giving her time and space to grow up, and allowing himself time to heal and become the man she deserved, even though both their recent behavior proved otherwise.
Gabriella had been coming onto him for weeks now, but it was wrong of him to bed that woman out of anger, and he hated himself for that. He never intended Tori to find them together. That was just dumb, bad luck that she caught Gabriella sucking out his frustration.
Now if he stayed, would it even matter? Tori was the only reason he hadn’t gone back home to Austin.
What puzzled him most was she didn’t seem bothered one bit seeing him with another woman. In fact, he would describe the look on her face as one of extreme relief. He would have liked to see a little bit of jealousy, something saying she felt the same as he did about her.
The same way I felt when I saw her this afternoon.
Tori’s reaction made his decision on what to do next a whole lot easier. It was apparent Tori wasn’t anywhere near settling down any time soon, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to park his one-legged ass in DC waiting around on her.