Chapter Twenty-Three
Tessa
“Embarrassed of what they would have thought of you?” I ask, reaching out to run my finger down his defined arm. My touch makes him shift his stance so I jerk away, but he catches it, placing my hand back where it had been.
“Yes, and I was ashamed I’d hurt a good woman like my wife. Because we’d found out early on in our relationship that Clarissa would never be able to have children. So Rachel showing up on our doorstep holding my child was literally a slap to her face, as if I had physically hit her myself, on top of the fact I’d been cheating.” He looks away from me, and I can see he wears that shame like a heavy coat.
I crush myself against him, giving him no choice but to wrap his strong arms around me. “Matthew, I know you’re a good man. Everyone makes bad choices and decision.” I lean back to look up at him. “Poster child right here. It’s what you do with the knowledge you messed up that defines you.” I look over to Jackson, who’s getting ready to toss his plate, hot dogs and all, onto the floor. “And I think you’ve made all that up by taking him on full-time. I don’t know the circumstances of the past three days and why you have him now, but whatever they are, I’m pretty sure you did the right thing with him.”
He turns to us both and laughs. “Oh shit.” He releases me and I let him go to get Jackson. “Bath time, little man.” Matthew turns to me. “Ready for another life-altering experience?” he asks me, smiling, holding the messy toddler close to his chest.
“Definitely,” I say with a smile on my face. Watching Matthew with Jackson makes me hope that I do have a life growing in my belly that’s ours, and I resist the urge to lay my hand where it might be growing.
~~~~~~
Matthew and I are soaking wet, but Jackson has had his bath. We’d laughed, smiled, and played the whole time, but now I slump back onto the couch, completely exhausted. Jackson sits on the rug watching some cartoon on the TV, completely comfortable and clean in his Cars pj’s.
Matthew comes into the room, holding out his hand that contains two little pills, the other holding a glass of water. “For the pain.”
“I’m not hurting that bad.” I lie as I sit up, gingerly, to take his offerings.
“Please, Tessa, don’t lie to me.” He pushes his hands closer to me. “Here.”
I take them without argument because I am hurting, and I need to sleep. Matthew and Jackson help me to bed, with kisses from them both. With promises from Matthew to return in a little while, I snuggle back into the comfy pillows of his bed. His masculine smell surrounds me to the point it feels like I’m falling asleep with his arms around me.
~~~~~~
Matty
I sit Jax on the floor of my study with the few toys I’ve set out for him and text Eno. Now is a good time for him to come over with the information he has for me. I lower myself into my desk chair, watching Jax crawl around on the floor, pushing a small red fire engine and crashing it into the big yellow truck.
My phone beeps, letting me know he’s on his way. I stand and cross to the small bar I have in the room and pour myself three fingers of whiskey. When I walk by Jax, he rams the fire truck into my foot. I look down at him, smiling. His eyes gleam when he looks up at me. “Hey, little man, don’t hurt your truck,” I say to him, but he does it again, growling at me.
“Vroom, Daddy.” He purses his lips as he drives his fire truck into my foot again.
I see the lights come through the windows and hear Eno slam his truck door. I go to disable the alarm for him with the sounds of a stumbling toddler following behind me. When I open the door, I feel Jax snake his arm around my leg. Leaning into me, he looks up to Eno as he walks through the door, folder in hand.
“Hey, man, how is she?” he asks as he leans down to ruffle Jax’s hair. “Hey, little dude.”
I close the door and point to the steps, nodding my head towards my study. I bend and pick up Jax before leading Eno through the double doors. I sit Jax back down and close the doors behind us, ensuring we have the privacy we need, and Tessa doesn’t walk in on something I don’t want her to hear.
I round my desk, making sure Jax goes back to his toys as Eno lowers himself into the chair across from me. “So whatcha got?” I ask, reaching for the folder he’s holding.
Eno hands it over. “He’s a sadistic son of a bitch, I can tell you that.” he grumbles, with a disgusted look on his face.
He stands quickly, slamming his hand down on top of the folder I had started to open. I look up at him, a little irritated with his actions. “What’s the problem?”
He removes his hand and drags it through his hair, letting out a long whistle. “Listen, before you open that, I wanna warn you. I’m ready to kill the motherfucker, so be prepared.” He flexes his hand so tight, it turns his knuckles white. I stand and cross over to the whiskey again, pouring two this time. With the way Eno’s acting, I’ll need it. Setting back down into the chair, I flip the cover open and grit my teeth. There are numerous photos of Tessa, her back with bruises, her arms covered in marks, her beautiful face marred with cuts. But it’s the pictures of the rings around her throat that stops me. I swig all the whiskey back, then slam the glass down on my desk. It’s always bruises, but never any broken bones, which in some sort of fucked up way, I find relieving.
A low growl escapes my throat as I continue to flip through photo after photo of the damage the man has done to her over the years. The last photo stops me, and I look up at Eno. “This him?”
Eno nods. I stand, no longer able to contain the fury coursing through my body. “I’ve seen him before,” I sneer as I begin to pace behind my desk. “The morning I followed Tessa to work, her first day. He was the motherfucker watching us from across the damn street.” I shove my fingers into my hair, tugging it hard. “Fuck!” I turn back to look past Eno to Jax. With him around, I was going to have to start watching my vulgar outbursts. “Do we know where he’s at yet?”
Eno clears his throat. “Not at the moment, but Beeker is still sitting on his house,” he informs me. “There’s something else too.” He sits up in his chair and flipping through a few more papers, stopping on what looks like legal documents. He taps with his finger, making the hard wood of my desk echo. “The reason her divorce isn’t going through is because his dad plays golf with her lawyer.”
I lean over, reading the papers. “So it’s not just him stalling, her fucking lawyer is in on it too?” I ask, already knowing the answer. Sitting, I finish going through all the papers in the folder Eno had put together for me. It was something I could take care of myself, and I planned on doing just that.
“His father’s political image would be tarnished if it came out his son was a wife beater,” I murmur with a plan forming in my head.
“Very much so,” Eno replies with an evil glint in his eye, knowing what I’m planning. “And brother, I think you’re just the man for the job.” He smiles, taking the last drink of his whiskey. I cross the room, my head spinning with a plan, to retrieve the bottle of whiskey to bring back to the desk.
I pour us both full again and sit with a man I consider closer to me than my own flesh and blood. Eno and I have been through a lot of shit together, and there seems to be just a bit more we will have to wade through.
“So, how’s she with…” He tilts his head in the direction of the small boy rolling around on the floor at his feet. “All this?”
“Surprisingly, she’s okay.” I sit back in my chair, rubbing my temples, trying to stave off the headache threatening to blast my head at the moment. “She’s actually really good with him, what little they’ve been around each other. He, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to know a stranger. A side effect, I guess, from being around his mother.”
“Oh yeah, she a threat?” Eno asks.
“No, not anymore,” I sigh, thinking back to how she’d looked. At one time, she had been stunning, but not now.
“The cops released Tessa’s house today. I went by and everything in it is a complete loss.” He finishes off his drink. “What do you want to do about that?”
I lower my head into my hands. I haven’t even thought about her house and the carnage that asshole left behind. “A bit of advice, and take it from me, it’s probably best if you don’t take her back before it’s cleaned out. But you know that already, ’cause you were there with me and Jo,” he says with a pained look in his eyes. I remember when we’d taken Josie back to her apartment. It had been completely tossed, and the devastation she had felt was horrible.
“I know, but won’t it be worse if she doesn’t see what the hell he did?” I ask, going over a hundred different scenarios of how to handle this in my mind.
“Brother, think about it, the way she’s handling this whole fucked up situation. I’m pretty sure she’s well aware what he’s capable of.”
I look at him, nodding. “Thank you.”
“The girls are waiting for you to give them the green light to see her.”
“They want to see her?” I ask, a little taken aback.
“You brought her to Sunday lunch. Shit like that isn’t lost on the females. Of course they want to know when they can intervene. They like her, Matt. She’s one of us, with her fucked up life and all. She fits right in.” Eno stands, setting his empty glass on my desk. “I need to go.” He turns for the door, and I stand to follow him, waiting for Jax to catch up with me. Saying our goodbyes, I lock the door and set the alarm again.
I turn to Jax, holding my arms out to my sides. “What now, little man?” I ask him. He smiles at me and runs towards me, head butting my legs, giggling the whole time. Leaning down, I pick him up and toss him into the air. When I catch him, his laughter fills the air.
“Again, Daddy,” he says through his giggles.
~~~~~~
Tessa
I roll to the side. The room I’m in is dark, but still surrounded with his smell. I smile, stretching my arms over my head as I sit up, feeling well-rested and my pain easing. I place my feet on the floor, wriggling my toes in the plush carpet.
I use the restroom and head downstairs. It’s quiet, and I wonder if Matthew has left with Jackson. But as I reach the landing, the soft sound of blues music filters through the dark house. I follow it down a short hall, off to the left of the kitchen. Faint light spills out of a double doored room at the end. Just outside the doors, I listen to the wonderful music, the soothing sounds of the deep guitar and the soulful tone of the singer’s voice.
No longer able to curb my curiosity, I stick my head inside the door to find Matthew sitting behind a large wooden desk, looking down at a bunch of papers laid out in front of him.
I watch his strong jaw tick. His hair is messy, like he’s been running his fingers through it. He reaches for a glass of amber liquid, not looking up from whatever he’s reading. He’s gorgeous, in just his tee and shorts. He looks like he fell off the cover of a GQ magazine.
The room is a large study, the walls lined with full bookshelves. The furniture is dark leather and masculine, and a large area rug lays in the center of the room, covering the distressed wood floor.
“Hey you,” I call out, making his head jerk up. A warm smile graces his lips when he sees me.
“Hey you,” he replies as he closes the folder on the papers he’d been reading. His eyes roam over me, taking me in from head to toe, and I feel a shiver run up my spine. His eyes devour me as he stands and stalks over to me, like a predator after his prey.
He takes me into his arms and I melt into him, laying my head on his hard chest. “You look good in my tee and boxers, but you looked damn fine sleeping in my bed.” His words are just as warm as his arms. He wraps me in the security of them, and I snuggle into him.
The house is quiet, no sound of little feet or confusing jabber. “Jackson?” I ask into his chest.
“Bed. I put him down about an hour ago.”
“What time is it?” I ask, a little confused.
“Around ten,” he replies through a yawn. “I was going to head up to you in about five.” He rubs circles on my back with his big hand. “You interested?” He asks me before giving me a kiss on the top of my head. I’m more than interested. It seems even though I’ve spent most of the day in bed, sleeping, I find I’m still exhausted. I lean into him, nodding my agreement.
~~~~~~
I let Matthew lead me to the kitchen and watch as he takes a glass down from the distressed wooden cabinet beside the sink, filling it with water. Then we head up to bed, only pausing for him to look in on a soundly sleeping Jackson.
We walk into his room and he drops my hand, going to what I assume is his side of the bed, taking off his tee and shorts as he moves. My eyes widen as he drops his shorts to the floor because he has nothing on under them. I feel my face flush, but I don’t look away from his toned, fine ass. It’s not like I haven’t seen it before, but I just wasn’t expecting to get the awesome show tonight. He turns and catches me. I quickly avert my eyes from him and hear him laugh.
“Don’t get shy on me now, Tessa.” There’s humor in his tone as he peels his side of the covers down and climbs into the bed.
I roll my eyes, kicking myself for my reaction. “I’m not,” I say as I join him in the bed. Sliding in beside him, I still feel the burn of my embarrassment. He’s had his face between my legs for crying out loud. He lays uncovered and gloriously naked beside me.
“Are you going to sleep naked?” I ask when I’m finally able to meet his eyes. They’re alight with humor.
“Yeah, it’s not like I haven’t done it before. What’s gotten into you?” He says, leaning over taking my hand in his.
“What if you have to get up and go to Jackson for some reason?” I watch as he moves my hand closer to his crotch, but the mention of his son stops his movements, and for a second I’m relieved.
He chuckles. “Pretty sure we have the same equipment, babe.” He starts the slow movement of my hand on his body again, resting it on his thigh, almost over the angry scar.
“I’m completely sure it isn’t that big,” I laugh, using my free hand to point at his growing erection.
He gives me a satisfied smile. “Oh, baby, how you verbally stroke my ego makes me want you to orally caress it.” He gives me a devilish grin, thrusting his hips up. I jerk my hand back with his movements, not sure why. “But I can jerk on my shorts fast if he needs me.”
Wanting a change in the subject, I trace the scar on his thigh with my finger. The edges are puckered, and a deep shade of red indicates that it’s a new wound. “What happened?”
He relaxes back into his pillow and covers my hand with his, stopping me and taking his grip to pull me to him. I nestle down into the crease of his arm, taking him in, from his warm body against mine to his clean smell. The security I feel where I am right now is something I haven’t felt since I was a child, living with my parents, and before asshole had come into my life.
“I was shot,” he reveals into the silence that had fallen between us.
I sit straight up in the bed, unable to control my shock at his nonchalant reply. “Shot? Like, with a gun?” The words come out before I can stop them, and yes, they sound way more stupid being said than they did in my head.
“No, babe, with a crossbow. Daryl Dixon stepped out from the bushes in my front yard and thought I was a walker. Yes, a gun,” he says jokingly, poking my side with his finger.
“What the hell were you doing to get shot?” I ask, shocked at his answer. I know he has to do club business, but what exactly does that include to put him in the crosshairs to get shot?
“Stuff.” Is all he says before he takes me under my arms and hauls me into him. He reaches for the lamp on the bedside table and turns it off, but I’m not ready to end this conversation. He lays back, holding me firmly in his arms.
I try to pull away from his hold, but its firm, and I can’t get free. “What kind of stuff?” I ask, giving up the fight against him.
“Stuff I can’t tell you about.” He settles back into his pillow.
“But you can’t tell me why you were shot?” I’m getting more and more confused by this man with each passing moment of this conversation.
“Do you want me to lie to you?” I get free enough to be able to push up on my elbow to look down at him. The silver light of the full moon streams through the window to his right, lighting his face enough to see. His eyes are closed, and his features are relaxed.
“No, but…” I stop, not sure what I want. I know he’s told me there are things in his life he can’t explain to me, but I’d put two and two together. He’d left on club business and came back with a son. And the fact he’d gone alone, without any of his brothers from the club, makes me wonder if he’s already lied to me. “The same kind of stuff that got Hollis shot?” I ask, pressing my lips together, waiting for him to tell he can’t say once more.
“No,” he replies flatly. Closing his eyes, he’s letting me know the conversations is over.
I lay back down in his arms with doubts and questions, my mind full from the events of the past week, the good and the bad. Matthew’s been the one who’s brought all the good—our first dinner, the first time we’d kissed, and the first time I’d given myself over to him. I can’t fault him for omitting things, he told me he would have to. The thing I’m going to have to decide on is if being with him is more important to me than knowing what he’s doing every time he leaves.
No longer able to think in circles from fear of giving myself a monstrous headache, I snuggle down into him and fall fast asleep in the arms of the man I’m falling for at a rapid rate.