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In Love (The Knights of Mayhem Book 5) by Brook Greene (28)


Chapter Thirty-One

Tessa

I’d spent the better part of the past two days—since I’d left Matthew at the clubhouse—in bed, unable to face even my mother with the shit I’ve got going on in my head.

There’s a soft knock on the door, right before my mother pushes it open and sticks her head in.  “Are you going to stay in your room for the rest of your life?”  I bury my face back into my pillow.  I feel as the mattress at my feet sinks, and then the soft touch of my mother’s hand on my leg.  “Tessa, honey, there was a delivery for you today, by courier.” 

I lift my head from my pillow to see a thick brown, business sized envelope in my mother’s hand.  I push my oily hair out of my eyes as I sit up and take it.  “Clerk of Superior Court.”  I read the label out loud.  My eyes slowly drift up to her, and then I bound off the bed, racing to my bathroom. I make it to the commode just in time to empty what little food I’d eaten into the bowl.

“Oh heavens, I was afraid of this.”  I hear water running, then feel a cool cloth on my forehead.  I fall back on my ass, my back thumping against the tub.  The surreal situation wraps itself around me like a sick joke blanket.  My mother continues to wipe my face as big tears roll down her face.

She lowers herself to the cold tile floor in front of me. Taking my hands in hers, we sit and cry together, knowing the nightmare I’ve been living for the better part of twenty years is only going to get worse.

“Maybe you should call him, Tessa.”  She finally breaks the silence hanging heavy around us.

I shake my head emphatically.  “No, Momma.  I can’t bring him into this any more than what I already have.  He has a son for God’s sake.  This is my mistake, and it’s all on me to fix it or live with it.”  I haul myself up off the floor. Helping my mother up, we make our way back to my room where the envelope lies on the bed.

I pick it up, turning it in my hand.  “Damn, it’s heavy.”  I run my finger along the top to open it.  I reach in to pull the papers it contains out.  I gasp and cover my mouth with my hand as I read the first page of the papers.  The divorce papers in my hands are nowhere near like the papers I’d filed at the shelter.  They’re much more complicated, and look a ton more professional.

“What is it, honey?”  My mother asks, laying her hand on the arm holding the papers.

“It’s the divorce papers, and they’re signed.”  I turn them to her, completely speechless over what I’m actually holding in my hand.  I feel the color drain from of my face.

She furrows her brows at me.  “For real?”  She jerks them from me and begins to read aloud the legal jargon. 

I lay back on my bed and listen to the words she says, not believing what I’m hearing.  When she’s done, I pop back up.  “They sound legit, don’t you think?”

“They do, honey, but it’s Jake.  I would at least go to the DA and ask his opinion.”  She hands them back to me and pats my leg. “If you get up now, we can be there by one.”

Elated as I am, my mother’s right.  This could just be a perfect hoax orchestrated by Jake to make me ease up and let my guard down, again.

I’m ready in record time and on my way to town, having left my mother behind.  This is something I have to do alone, and she doesn’t need to be exposed to Jake’s twisted, sick sense of humor if that’s what all this is.

~~~~~~

I walk through the metal detector and retrieve my pocketbook on the other side, along with the envelope, and head for the DA I’d called earlier. 

I walk into his office and his receptionist greets me.  “Hello.  Can I help you?”  She’s young, and has a bright smile.

“Yes, I’m Tessa Lennox.  I’m here to see DA Murray.”  I come to a stop in front of her desk.

Her eyes grow wide at the sound of my name and she scrambles to her feet.  “Yes, ma’am, wait right here.”  She uses her index finger to stop me as she hurries off down a hall.

She returns with an older gentleman following behind her with a soft smile on his face.  He holds his hand out to me.  “Ms. Kelly.”  I shake his hand, but I’m a little confused with his reception.  Jake had always told me his father knew people, just like he did, and this man’s overeager greeting has me wondering if I’m walking into a trap.

He walks into an office and steps to the side, waiting for me to enter, then closes the door behind me.  “Have a seat.”  He points to a posh leather chair sitting across from his desk.

He settles himself behind the big oak desk, resting his forearms and lacing his fingers together.  “So, did you bring them?” he asks right out of the gate.  “I’m prepared to push them through as soon as possible.  Judge Watts is waiting for me to call.”

My head is spinning, and the creepy monkey of doubt is swinging through my head.  “Um…” I start, smiling at him. I lay the envelope on my lap, covering it with my hands.  “I’ve been trying to get this taken care of for almost a year now.  Why is it that all of a sudden, after Jake visited me last week,” I point to my face, knowing if he knows Jake and his father, this will be shared information,  “making it a point to let me know I could never leave him, is this being handled so swiftly now?” 

He looks at me and smiles.  “Sign the papers, Ms. Kelly.  I promise you it’s in your best interest,” he informs me, but there’s no menace in his tone or words.

I feel the flush of anger rise up my throat and heat my face.  I’m done with men telling me what to do.  “Not until you answer my questions.”  I pound my finger on the hard wood to make my point.

He sighs and stands, holding out his hand.  “Come with me.”

I glare up at him, not moving from my chair.  He laughs and crosses his arms over his broad chest, leaning against his desk to look down at me.  “I’m a friend, Tessa, and someone you’re very important to is a good friend of mine.”  He leans into my space.  “Enough to know what’s happened to you, and not just this.  It pisses me off.”  He offers me his hand again.  “So, if you don’t mind, come with me, please.”

~~~~~~

I walk out of the judge’s office vindicated from the chains of a marriage I should’ve never entered into to begin with, and indebted to a man who’d hidden parts of himself from me. 

I tuck the papers, signed and sealed, into my purse, tucking it securely onto my shoulder.  My heels click on the marble and the sound echoes off the emptiness of the foyer of the courthouse.

“Tessa.”  A woman calls my name from behind me, so I turn to see a warm smiling face, Claire.

“Hey.”  I hold my arms out to her, embracing her as she does me.  “It’s so good to see you.”

She backs away, giving me a once-over.  “You too.”  She tries to cover her shock, but I can hear it in her voice.  She sees, even though I’d caked on the makeup.  She takes my hand and leads me over to a bench.  “So when are you coming back to work?”

My shoulders slump.  Just another way that Matthew had taken control and fixed things for me.  “I really don’t know, Claire.  I might try to find something different somewhere else.”

She forcefully takes my hand back.  “No.  You have a job waiting for you here.”

I smile politely at her, knowing now is not the time to get into how I’m done excepting things from men who lie to me.  But I had, over and over again, accepted the things Matthew has done for me, because in the end, they’d all been in my best interest, and things I’d so wanted.  Does that make me selfish?  No, I think it makes me a woman who’s learned to look out for herself and use people the way she has been used.

She looks down at her watch.  “Anyway, I’ve got to get back, but call me Monday and we’ll get the paperwork started for you to come back to work.  Held your desk and everything.”  She gives me kisses on both cheeks before she rushes off down the hall to the door I’d entered a little over a week ago for my first day of work. 

I turn for the door and walk out into the bright July sunshine.  I shield my eyes, looking out over the busy town square, and they stop when I spot him standing by the fountain, waiting for me.  I swallow the lump in my throat and summon up the courage I need to live the life I want.  I walk down the steps as he starts for me.

He stops right in my face.  “Do you see this?” he yells at me, pointing to his busted-up face, which isn’t something I’m used to seeing Jake sport.  “He did this.  This was the cost of your fucking divorce.”  At one time, Jake had been so good looking to me, then his ugliness broke through, ruining any expectations I had for us.

I right my shoulders and actually smirk at the fucking asshole.  “Hurts, doesn’t it?”  For the first time in a long time, I’m not afraid of him.  I have my freedom, and anything he does in public with the whole town watching I’m sure will be prosecutable.  Not even his father can protect him.  My beatings are public knowledge now, the pictures documented and filed, right along with the divorce papers.

“You’ll pay, bitch, and so will he.  Someday,” he sneers, but I don’t shy away.  We stand there, suspended, the dark threat hanging between us, but the fear I should feel isn’t there.  I just glare at him, and he takes a step back from me, spitting at my feet.  He turns and walks to his truck and squeals the tires as he heads out of town.

It’s over.  It’s fucking over for me and him, no more Mr. and Mrs.  Only him, and Tessa Kelly, a new woman who’s finally won her freedom. 

~~~~~~

Two weeks later…..

Tessa

I hadn’t been back to the clubhouse since the day my divorce had been granted, and even then, I’d just sat in my car watching it, but never seeing him.  My mother chastised me for not calling and at least thanking him properly, but I couldn’t.  The sound of his voice would break me all over again.

So now I sit at my desk, pen in hand, wondering what to write in the generic thank you card I’d plan to send him.  Distance is what I’d wanted, and that’s exactly what he’d given me.  The wonder of what he’s doing is never far from my mind.

“Are you still fussing over that damned card?”  Claire asks from her desk.

I sigh, sitting back in my chair, throwing the pen I hold onto my desk.  “How do you say ‘sorry I was a bitch, but thank you for everything you’ve done for me’ without actually saying it?”  I sit back up and rest my elbows on the desk, cradling my head in my hands. 

“You don’t.  Not in a card, anyway.”  Her thick southern accent makes me smile, and I wonder if that’s how I sound to other people when I talk.  She swivels around in her chair to face me.  “What you do is, you go to that clubhouse, find him, and…” She looks around to see if anybody else is around or listening.  When she finds the room empty, she turns back to me with a devilish smile on her lips.  “You find a room and fuck that fine piece of man meat.”  She raises her hand and slaps her knee.  “And that will do it.  No words need to be spoken, except for the ones telling him your coming.”  I widen my eyes at her language then laugh because hers is infectious. 

We get our giggles under control, and I fumble with the card again, fighting back the tears that burn the back of my eyes. 

“Now, now, sugar, don’t go and start crying.”  I feel Claire pat my leg.  “Listen to an old woman.”  I push my fingers into my eyes to stop them from turning on the waterworks before looking at her.  “Sweetheart, you two are just lost in the dark, that’s all.  The light will come on and there you’ll both be.”  She smiles at me, confident in the words she’s just left me with.  She turns around and goes back to work.

In the afternoon, we say our goodbyes and I head home, turning right at the red light instead of left where I know he is.  Where my mind tells me is not where I need to be, but it forgot to get my heart’s vote on that decision.

I figured out real quick that I needed to get back to work, to occupy my mind with something other than worrying about what Matthew was doing.  It had helped a little, but it hadn’t completely erased the fear that he’d moved on, making me a distant memory.

The deep rumble of pipes from a motorcycle comes up behind me at the light, and my heart actually skips a beat. But when I look back, it isn’t him.  It is, however, a rather large man in aviators.  He’s shirtless, but his big muscular torso is covered with a black leather vest like Matthew’s, his thick black hair covered with a half helmet.  He revs the engine and my eyes dart forward to see the light has changed.  I gas my car and go under the lights, watching the bike turn from behind me.

It can’t be possible that in the short time Matthew and I’d spent together, I could be so hung up on him.  After all, I’m the one who called it off.  But I had, and with each passing day, it seems I fall harder. 

The heart isn’t a rational organ like the brain.  It just knows what it wants, and mine wants nothing more than to be near him and have him love me the way I’m starting to realize I love him.

In the time we’ve been apart, each day I feel like a bigger fool than I had the day before, for the reasons we’re no longer together.  My actions, or better yet, my reaction being the cause.  That’s the main reason why I’ve fought everything in me to go to him, other reasons not withstanding.

I pull off to the side of the road and put my car in park.  Thanks to Matthew, it runs like a brand new one.  I scoff.  My whole fucking life runs like a new one because of what Matthew has done for me.  I owe him so much more than a thank you and an apology written in a generic card, but all I have to give him is my heart.  A cheap, useless organ that can be broken just as easily as a delicate glass vase.

I wipe the tears from my cheeks as I pull back onto the road and head home.

~~~~~~

Matt

I stood to the side of the garage and watched her sit in her car, just down the way from the compound that day.  I couldn’t go to the courthouse, but damned it was hard not to.  I wanted to see her face when she found out she’d been granted her divorce, but I needed it to be about her and not something else I’d stepped in to make happen. 

I’ve never wanted a woman so fucking bad in my life, the way I want Tessa, and my friend Jack isn’t helping me find my way out of this hole I’ve dug for myself.  So I watch her from afar.  I’ve not talked or heard from her in the past eleven days.  I do know she started back to work on Monday, and Claire keeps me up-to-date. Shitty, I know, but she’s become my obsession.  I can’t let a day go by without hearing some little thing about her.

I sit at the bar in the clubhouse, and for the first time in a long time, we’re having an adult night.  By no means has not having Tessa around derailed my duties being a father to my little man, but tonight we are all kid-free.  Thanks to Ima and Hugh, two brave souls that have taken all three of them on for the night. 

“Shots!”  Piper screams, jerking me back from my thoughts of Tessa.

“What the fuck is it with you and shots, woman?  It’s a marathon, not a damned sprint,” I say to her as I slide off the stool, and retrieve myself another beer.

“I like ‘em,” she says, as she pours us all one, her eyes a crazy blue tonight.  Three of us with kids has cut down on our parties around the clubhouse, so when we get the chance, Piper takes it as a balls-to-the-wall, binge-drinking contest.

“I’ll have a beer,” Leo says, as he sits down beside me, looking more tired than usual.

We tap the necks of our bottles, and I nod to him.  “You’re looking a little bit the worse for wear, brother.”

“Gia’s teething.”  He takes a drink.  “She’s either shittin’ or screamin’.”   He shakes his head.  “Just like a woman, not being able to make her mind up.”

“It ain’t just with the females, I remember when Jax was cutting teeth.  I’m not sure which is better, that stuff or getting bit by the sharpest-ass little teeth on the planet every ten seconds.”

Cowboy comes up next to us.  “You don’t remember Caden doing that shit?  I have a permanent scar on my left calf where she thought I was a chew toy.  Couldn’t wear shorts around her for like a year.”  He absentmindedly rubs his left leg.  Leo gives Cowboy a look.  “Oh, that’s right, you scared the shit out her.”  He looks around Leo to me.  “She wouldn’t have a damned thing to do with him.”

I smile.  “I don’t see why.  He’s so fucking pleasant.”

Eno walks behind the bar wrapping his arm around Piper’s shoulders from behind, tucking her into his chest.  The rest of the girls join us at the bar, taking the shots Piper just poured.  They toast each other before throwing the liquid back, each wincing as the liquor burns going down.

Avery stumbles and begins to giggle, making Leo groan.  “Shit—I kinda wanted to get laid tonight.” 

Eno moves quickly to straighten the drunk woman. When she has her footing again, Avery zeros her eyes in on him, closing one to focus.  “Oh, don’t worry big boy, you’re gonna get laid.”  Her words are slurred as she points her index finger at him.

“Yeah, sexy, you’re gonna lie on my chest passed out.”  Leo huffs, taking another drink from his beer as he rolls his eyes.  “Trading one puking girl for another, shit.”  He tosses his empty at the trash can at the end of the bar, the bottle making a loud clanking noise when it hits the others already in there. 

“Music,” Emily exclaims, once she’s got her drink down.  She runs to the stereo system, turning it on.  The others follow, and they begin to bicker over what to listen to. 

I feel a heavy head land on my shoulder, and turn to find the top of Avery’s head.  She drunkenly wraps her arms around me.  “I’m so sorry about Tessa.  It’s a damned shame.”  She takes in a deep breath and sighs it out.  “I’ve tried to get ahold of her, but no luck.  I’m worried.”  This piques my interest. Taking her by the arm, I pull her to stand in front of me and look her in the eye.

“Worried?  Why?”  she has me more than worried now, we’d had a tail on her the whole time she has been staying with her mother and not once have they reported back anything out of the ordinary.

“Because you know she showed up at the ER that Tuesday morning,” she says, talking with her hands.  She sways a little, making me tighten my hold on her.  The great thing about a drunk Avery is, she over shares.  Most of the time I don’t want to hear what she is divulging, but this has my attention.  “And…” She takes in another deep breath.  “She was worried about that whole broken condom thing.”

My body tenses.  “What broken condom thing?”  She drifts off, and I give her a shake to bring her back.  “What broken condom thing, Avery?”

She gives me a slow, awkward smile.  “Evidently your dick is too big—” She’s interrupted by Leo, who groans.

“Damn, Avery, what the hell are you talking about Matt’s dick for?”  I look over at him and smile, shrugging my shoulders.

Her head snaps around to Leo, widening her eyes as she focuses on him.  “His dick is too big for condoms, and Tessa said he got jizz all up inside her.”  She kinda giggles, but Leo groans again.

A sinking feeling comes over me.  “What did she want from you?” 

She holds up her right hand using her index finger and thumb.  “That little pill.”

“Birth control?”  If that’s the case—if she wasn’t already on it—it might’ve been too little, too late for that.

She waves her hand like she was batting my question out of the air.  “No, the other kind.”

I turn to Leo.  “What other kind of fucking pill does a girl take?”  Feeling truly clueless, I never bothered to learn how women prevented pregnancy, I just always made sure I was wrapped, but it seems that didn’t even work for me.

I watch as realization hits Leo.  He sits straight on his stool, looking over at his woman.  “Fuck, Avery, why didn’t you say something sooner?”

“She asked me not to.”  She holds her hands up to her sides and shrugs one of her shoulders.

“What other kind of fucking pill is there?”  I scream at the both of them.

Leo sighs.  “The morning-after pill, man.”

A panic comes over me, and I get in Avery’s face, garnering her full attention.  “Did she take it?”

She slowly shrugs again.  “I don’t know, she never came back. Told me she was, but she didn’t.  That’s why I’ve been trying to get a hold of her.”  She slides around me to step between Leos parted knees, where she leans back against his chest. She lets her head fall back and closes her eyes.  “She needs a checkup, regardless of what she did,” she says before falling silent.

It’s like the air has been completely sucked out of the room, and my lungs burn for the breath that was just knocked out of them.  I straighten up, set my bottle on the bar, and look to Leo.  He and I both sit in stunned silence, with the rest of the room still oblivious to the chaos going on inside me.  I don’t know how to process this information, or what to do about it. 

“Fucking hell, man.”  I look up to see that Eno has been listening to the conversation. I’d forgotten he was behind the bar.  I look to him for answers, I know he doesn’t have.  Nobody does. 

Could she have really done it?  The way we left things, it wouldn’t surprise me. She and I had only known each other for a few days at the time.  And if she had, she went through it alone. 

Leo stands next to me, scooping a passed out Avery up in his arms.  “Let me go lay her down.”  I watch him take Avery down the hall and hear Eno crack another beer and set it where my empty had been.

“If she was even pregnant, man.  It’s a shot in the dark, literally.”  He smiles, trying to lighten the mood, yet it does nothing but make me think of Jax.  When he sees his jab doesn’t have the desired effect, he comes around the bar, taking Leo’s seat beside me.

“Well, I either have the worst luck in the world, or I should go play the lottery.”  I shake my head, what are the fucking odds of it happening twice, to the same man?

Eno looks at me questioningly.  “Jax,” I say.

His eyes go wide.  “No shit man, are you fucking kidding me?”  He takes a drink of his beer.  “Maybe you should just sue the condom company,” he scoffs. 

“Or better yet, just keep my dick in my pants,” I reply flatly, each passing moment seeming more surreal than the last.  The alcohol I’ve consumed since we’ve been apart dulled the ache, but now, knowing this, all those feelings I’ve been dodging creep up on me. I can’t help but think of Jax again, and the what-ifs that surround him. 

But, unlike Rachel, Tessa isn’t after my money. Hell, she doesn’t even know about it.  She knows I have pull, I’m an undercover agent, and I’d hidden it from her for reasons I still don’t understand. 

“What the hell was she thinking, not talking to me about it?” I ask no one in particular.  “Why didn’t she come to me about it?”

“Maybe for the same reason she didn’t let you know she was hiding out from her abusive husband,” Eno says from beside me, and I turn my head to glare at him. 

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?”  I shake my head at him, grabbing us two more beers from the fridge behind the bar.

He takes the beer from me, twisting off the top.  “Nope.  Jo and I get to fuck all the time. I rarely get a chance to drink with you, though, so I’m here for moral support.”  He taps his bottle to mine.  “And to help you work through this cluster fuck you’ve caused.”  He turns and looks at me expectantly.  “So what are you going to do about it?” 

I don’t have to wait long before that decision is made for me.

~~~~~~

Tessa

I pull into the driveway, shutting off my car.  I sit for just a minute to get myself under control before I enter the house and drag my mother into the emotional war I’m fighting. 

Walking through the door, I’m immediately hit with the difference in the air.  “Mom?”  I call to her, but I get no answer.  I lay my purse and keys down on the foyer table and venture farther into the house.  “Mom?”  I call again, a little louder, but still get no answer.

The house is dark and quiet. Taking small steps, I ease deeper in.  A chill from the past rushes up on me and I shiver, feeling the cold sting of panic hit.  The air grows too thick and I have to hold my breath, as a muffled whimper to my left grabs my attention.  I move slowly around the corner, and the panic I felt morphs to horror when I find my mother, her hands and feet tied to a chair, with a gag shoved in her mouth. 

Her eyes are terrified as I run for her.  “Shit, Momma.”  I slide to her, the tile floors ripping the skin off my bare knees.  I work feverishly to loosen the knots, only breaking my nails but not making any progress.  There’s a young blonde man, out cold, lying in a pool of blood on the kitchen floor. I recognize him from the clubhouse, the day I left.  I look to my mother in question, but she just shakes her head, her eyes full of tears.

Her eyes fly up, over my shoulder, to something behind me. The clicking of a tongue makes a chill run up my spine.  “Bout fucking time you get your sorry ass home.”  I turn to him, but don’t have time to protect myself from the mind-shattering blow he delivers to my temple.  The black rushes over me, and I feel my body collapse to the floor, the sound of my mother’s muffled cries in the background.

First I receive a sharp kick to the ribs, followed by a slap to my face.  I roll to my back and force my eyes open. Raising my hands, I try to protect my head from any more blows.  The shape of a man standing over me slowly comes into focus.  I watch him reach down, taking me by the throat.  “Get up.”  I’m hauled off the floor and slammed into a chair so forcefully, I nearly tip it over.   A cell phone is shoved in my face.  “Call him.”

I blink, trying to get my bearings, which awards me a back hand.  “Fucking get him on the phone.”  Jake roars, spit flying from his mouth and hitting me in the face.

I lift a shaky hand, taking the phone from him. Without the need to ask who he is talking about, I concentrate hard to focus on the screen, while I try my best to call up his number in my contacts.  “Now, bitch.”  I wince, but this time the slap doesn’t hit me, but my mother, making me scream.

“Stop! Hit me, you asshole, but leave her out of this.”  My voice comes out strong and forceful. 

He rushes back over to me and I shy away, as he gets right in my face taking a hand full of my hair and jerking my head back.  “Don’t you fucking ever talk to me like that again, you understand, bitch?”  He slaps me again, this time with the gun, knocking a tooth free. Instantly, my mouth fills with the acrid, copper taste of blood.

I turn my head to him, spitting the mouthful of blood in his face.  “Fuck you,” I say to him, and smile, showing him a side of me he’s never seen.  A fighter—a woman who’s sick of being pushed around and told what to do by a small-dicked bully.

He stumbles back, shocked at my defiance, but regains his composure quickly when he stops beside my mother.  He lifts the weapon, placing the barrel of the gun at her temple.  The sight makes the blood in my veins run cold.  He turns his evil blue eyes on me.  “You can call him now, or you can call him covered in your mother’s brains, you choose.”  And just like that, he knows how to knock the wind right out of my sails.  “Get him on the damned phone and give it to me.”

I swallow the lump in my throat down and lift the phone. I select Matthew’s contact information and hit send before lifting the phone to my ear.  The ringing echoes through my soul, and I never take my eyes off the man holding a gun to my mother’s head.  “I’m calling him.  You can put the gun down.”  My throat tightens with each word.  He just shakes his head at me, holding his finger up to his lips, shushing me.

“Tessa?”  The sound of Matthew’s voice doesn’t give me the relief I’d hoped for.  He isn’t here, and given the circumstances, I’m not so sure he’ll come if I ask.

“Matthew.”  His name comes out breathy and desperate.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Matt

I stand so fast, I knock over my stool, quieting everyone around me.  “What the fuck’s wrong?”  There’s a pause, her breathing is heavy in the mouth piece of the phone. 

“There’s someone here who wants to talk to you.”  Her voice is shaky, and I hear a substantial amount of distress in her voice. The only person I know who can do that to her is Jake.  The thought makes me so angry, I tighten my hand around the beer bottle in my hand, shattering it in my fist.  I hear what sounds like a struggle, then Tessa screams before his voice comes over the line.

“Got your woman here, and your boy doesn’t look like he’s gonna make it.”  I turn to find the eyes of all my brothers on me, but one, the youngest, Beeker.  Leo moves to the cabinet, and the others following him.  “You come alone, or I’ll put a bullet in all three of their heads.”  The line goes dead.  I take it from my ear and resist the blinding urge to throw it across the fucking room.

“I have to go alone,” I tell them all, stopping their preparations.

Leo shakes his head.  “There ain’t no fucking way you’re going in alone, brother,” he says, slapping the Velcro closed on his vest.

I head to the cabinet and take out my gun.  “This time I have to, but hang back with an ambulance.  No sirens: Beeker’s down.”  I feel the atmosphere in the room drop around me.

“Son of a fucking bitch.  I knew we should’ve let Oz and the boys take that little fucker out.”  Cowboy slams his fist through the dry wall to the right of our gear cabinet.

“Oh my God.  Where’s Kayla?”  Hollis asks, her hand covering her mouth.

“She’s at home with the baby.”  Emily comes up beside her.

“Y’all can’t leave.  Avery’s passed out.”  Leo looks to Piper.  “Call Kent, get him over there to stay with her.”

“I’ll ride, y’all bring the SUVs.  I’ve got to get over there,” I say, heading for the door as I shrug on my shoulder holster, and then my vest to cover it.  I stop at the door and turn around.  “He has her mother too.”

They all nod their understanding, before following me out the door.

~~~~~~

I leave the others two streets over, riding the rest of the way alone.  Pulling up to the house, I rev my bike to let them know I’ve made it, and so that Jake can hear that I’m here.  I take a few deep breaths, calming myself, as I walk up to the house and onto the front porch.  I will put him down, there is no question about that.  I just have to decide if I want Tessa to see me kill him, or whether I should take him to the safe house, where I can draw out the torture I promised him if he pulled this shit again.

I take out my piece, check the clip one more time: the empty one he’ll make me discard as soon as I walk through the door.  The door is ajar and I push it open farther.  “I’m here,” I say, as I walk through the door with my hands held above my head.  The slight whimpers of a woman has me turning left, where I’m confronted with a sight no man ever wants to see.  This man has more than signed his death warrant.  He’s just ensured himself a very slow, very painful, and extremely bloody death.

I hold up my hands, palms out, feeling a slight sense of panic.  “Whoa, man, take that fucking gun out of her goddamned mouth.”  I almost sound like I’m pleading, and I am.  There’s a trace of blood running down her chin.  Jake stands behind Tessa, using her body as a shield, with his hand around her neck and a 9MM in her mouth.  Not since I was in the military have I had this sinking feeling hit the pit of my stomach, but seeing Tessa with a gun in her fucking mouth brings me to an all-time low.

The slight movement I see over his shoulder, through the kitchen window, lets me know my brothers are here.  Clearly, they can’t listen for shit.

“Toss the gun and take off the vest,” he demands over Tessa’s head.  I shrug out of my vest, hanging it on the chair closest to me. I then eject the clip, and toss the gun at his feet, my eyes catching on the set of boots lying too still behind him on the floor.  “Not your fucking cut, asshole, that one.”  He nods his head at my DEA vest.  Tessa mumbles, shaking her head.  I brace at her movements.

He leans his lips to her ear, and I watch as she slightly moves away from him.  “I have my finger on the trigger, bitch.  Moving your head isn’t smart.”  Her eyes fill with tears as she watches me remove the vest. Not that it will necessarily stop a bullet this close, but it would significantly slow one down. 

I drop it on the floor and hold my hands up again.  “Okay, now take that fucking gun out of her mouth, man.  This is between me and you.  I’m here, that’s what you wanted.”

He laughs, and it’s then that I realize he was never going to let her go.  He wanted me here so I could watch her die.  Well, the joke’s on him, because that shit’s never going to happen.  I see more movement outside the window, and then see Roman raise his weapon.  A hole poked in the window screen is just enough for him to stick the tip of the barrel of his rifle through. 

“Okay, man, listen.” I take a step to my left, making Jake move more to his right.  “At least let me get Noma out of here and check on Beeker.”

“Fuck you, and fuck off.”  He bangs the gun around in her mouth, making her cry out in pain.  “Do you think I’m going to do a fucking thing for you?  You made me look like a fool, and now I’m going to make you suffer.  Nobody does that to me.”  His hands begin to shake, and I can see him tightening his grip around Tessa’s neck as she starts to struggle just to breathe.

“I’m sorry for that man.”  I placate him, taking another step to my left, and thankfully, he’s doing this dance with me.  And just as I’d hoped, he moves another step to his right.

He laughs.  “Don’t patronize me, asshole.  You don’t apologize for shit.”  The blood pool is growing on the floor and I know that doesn’t bode well for my brother.  I have to move this along.  Next thing I know, he takes the gun from her mouth and points it at me.  That’s better, I can take a bullet, but my woman will not take one for me.

“Now, let her go,” I demand, but it falls on deaf ears because the crack of his gun rips through the air.

~~~~~~

Tessa

I fall to the floor covering my head when another pop rips through the air. The wind is knocked out of me when Jake’s limp body falls over mine.  I scream, and with adrenaline rushing through me, I push Jake off with surprising ease.   My hand lands in blood, making me slip and slide over the tile floor.  I back into another body and feel a hand on my arm.  “Tessa?”

I turn to see Matthew lying on the floor, holding his stomach, and I watch as blood oozes out between his fingers.  “You okay baby?”  I look up into his hazel eyes that are searching mine, more concerned for my safety than his own.

In a panic, I cover his hand with mine, tears blurring my vision.  “Yes…oh shit…oh shit, you’re shot.”  I swing around as the back door bursts open and several men in black vests file in, clearing the room.

“It’s happened before.”  He smiles at me before lying back and closing his eyes.

“No, no…Matthew.”  I scoot over, lifting his head in my lap. I look down at him as I hold his face in my hands.  The softness of his hazel eyes melts the rest of my resolve to stay away from him, because in this moment, I know I would never really be able to.  He reaches up with his free hand to wipe the tears cascading down my face, dropping to his.  “I’m sorry,” I whisper to him.

“Not your fault, babe,” he says with a smile.  “But we got him this time.”  He stills his fingers against my cheek.  “He won’t ever hurt you again.”

I lean in placing a light kiss on his lips, and as I pull away a flood of emotions hits me.  “I love you, Matthew.” 

I feel him slide his fingers into my hair before he tugs me down to him for another kiss.  “I love you more.”  He smiles up at me.

“Ma’am.”  I hear a man’s voice.  “Ma’am, you’re going to have to move.”  I feel as I’m tugged back out of the way, and the three EMT’s taking my place begin to work on Matthew.

I turn around and find myself wrapped in a pair of strong arms.  “He’s going to be okay Tess.  I promise.”  I look to discover it’s Eno holding me. That’s when the dam bursts and I cry into his strong broad chest. 

“He’s going to be okay, but we need to get him to the ER just to make sure no internal damage was done.”  I hear a man say over my shoulder.

After a few minutes, Eno begins to stroke my hair to calm me down.  “Let’s go see about your mom, okay?”  I nod into his chest, and he walks me over to the gurney they loaded Matthew on before rolling him out of the house. 

I see my mother sitting on a bench in another ambulance and climb in, wrapping an arm around her blanket-covered shoulder.  “How is she?”  I ask the EMT who had been tending to her.

“She’s a little shook up,” she says, leaning over to pat my mother’s leg.  “But other than that, she’ll be just fine.”

I swallow hard as I muster up the courage to ask the next question.  “And Beeker, how’s he?”

She tilts her head.  “Who?”

“The boy on the kitchen floor,” I say with a slight hint of panic in my tone.

“Oh, I don’t know.  Sorry.”  She does, but she isn’t saying.  I can tell from the way she hesitated. 

I watch as they begin to load Matthew into the ambulance, and I feel my mother nudge me.  “Go to him.”

“I can’t mom, I need to be here with you.”  I tighten my arm around her with a sigh.

She literally pushes me out of the ambulance.  “Get out of here. I’m fine, but that boy got shot for you.  He needs you more than I do, now go.”  I kiss her cheek, bound out of the ambulance, and hit the ground running to Matthew. 

“Wait, I’m going with him,” I announce, stepping up into the ambulance. I take the seat, but stay out of the way of the furiously working EMT’s.  The doors slam behind us. 

I watch them fuss over him, with concerned faces and focused eyes.  He’d fallen silent, his eyes closed, a rebreathing mask placed over his mouth and nose.  Panic hits me: what if he doesn’t pull through?  What about Jackson, what will happen to him?  I push those thoughts away and concentrate on Matthew instead. I focus on how he is going to make it, and we are going to live happily ever after. I won’t have it any other way.

I follow the gurney with Matthew through the ER’s sliding doors. Right before they wheel him through to surgery, he holds up his hand and takes the mask off his face.  “Wait.”  They stop the gurney and he reaches his hand out to the side, as if looking for something.  I stand with my arms wrapped around me, holding what pieces of me that are left together.

“Tessa?”  I hurry close to take his outstretched hand.

“Yes, I’m right here.”  I lower my face to his and rub his cheek with my other hand. I need the connection to him any way I can get it.

He takes a deep breath and blows it out, his hazel eyes weak but soft as they scan my face.  “Did you take that pill?”

The breath I’d just taken sticks in my throat. He knows—Avery told him.  I’ll be pissed at her later, but right now, he deserves to know.

So I screw up my courage and answer him.  “No.”  His smile is so sincere, I know immediately I made the right decision.  I stand as I’m ushered out of the way, and they move him through the door away from me.  I watch him for as long as I can, my heart tightening in my chest the farther he moves away from me.  They take him around the corner and then he’s gone.  I stumble over to one of the plastic waiting room chairs all hospitals have.  It makes a nasty crunching noise when I sit on it. 

I take a deep breath and pray he’s okay. I hope that him wondering if I’m pregnant isn’t his last living thought.  I shake my head, clearing the last thought, and will him to be okay.  He has to be.

After I have a chance to collect myself, I walk over to the nurse’s station and ask after my mother.

 

 

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